juststrange

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Freesh new blog!

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today’s opinion that shouldn’t be controversial but somehow is: mental illness is never an excuse for abusive behavior

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Who wants to know what random memories and people I tie to songs? Here's the first instalment! What songs remind you of super specific things, people or moments?

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Music in Film: Hairspray (2007) dir. Adam Shankman - soundtrack

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candles are how we keep fires as pets

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every time i open this app i read some dumb ass shit

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I think this is my favourite change I’ve spotted on Tumblr since the last time I visited.

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movie tropes that will never get old to me:

a thing happens + two people exchanging money in the back

fourth wall breaking

“give up all your weapons” and that one guy that spends the entire evening taking his weights worth out his pockets

*a terribly loud crash* meowing/ car sirens heard offscreen

alternatively: a terribly loud crash and one of the characters going “oops” in the most casual voice

“fuck you” “well if you insist”

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Early Bioshock Concept Art

Always been one of my favorite games, and the art design is beyond what we almost ever see in a game. Might post some more Bioshock later depending on how I’m feeling.

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New blog over on my WordPress!

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3 years

I realised after discovering my bio earlier that it’s been roughly 3 years since I last really used Tumblr. Only noticed as it says I’m 23 and I’m now 26.

Life feels very different from then. Like it’s finally caught up to where it should be.

I’m now in a job where people respect me and nobody questions everything I do. Which is massive compared to where I was 3 years ago.

I earn enough money to live comfortably and finally can save money, but not to the detriment of my daily living. It shouldn’t be important but it really is. 3 years ago I would get paid, spend all of that money and eat the majority of my overdraft. Then repeat every month, going nowhere, saving nothing.

I own my own bed. I also own a whole flat’s worth of furniture and things that I’ve either acquired or purchased myself. The bed is important though as it’s the most comfortable bed I could find, and it’s the first thing I’ve ever purchased on credit (and paid off).

I’m in a solid relationship, where I completely trust Mark and very rarely get the chaotic feelings of inadequacy as I used to. I genuinely never thought that would ease up. I had years and years of failed romances which the most common through in my head would be “I’m not good enough”. That why the hell would somebody fancy me when there are so many other babes out there? The countless nights planning a new life where I would work hard to be thin and suddenly all those who wronged me would suddenly be interested again. 

I’m sad that I ever felt like that. I’m even sadder that the people I trusted with my heart let me feel like that as well. 

Like I say though, it’s pretty much gone. There are pangs of it still, which is ok because I know I’m being ridiculous. Like last night after the show, one of the ladies Mark knew from being in them before was chatting to him. I have a fleeting moment of “Well, of course, he’s want to be with her over me, she’s gorgeous”. Which quickly turned into “Kerri you dumb ass, he’s allowed to have friends and know beautiful people just like you do”. Then the feeling was off and all was well again.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I guess it’s an example of when things do get better. It takes time but the shit will eventually be less shite or not shit at all.

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Also touching on galz night with Ellie we discovered our “ones who got away” are almost identical and it’s actually hilarious. She couldn’t believe it when I showed her.

It was super weird re-telling the story there, it’s not something I’ve thought about in a long time. It does make me realise how long ago third year was, and even how long ago living in Clausentum with Carl & Nic was now. It’s funny how those feelings just re-manifest themselves but in a different form, like nostalgia, I guess that’s how it goes with those people in your life though...

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Good day

I don’t post here much anymore but I’m super excited and I need to get it out somewhere and it’s not worthy of a proper blog post on my other blog!

Mark and I viewed the most insane house earlier like it’s so beautiful I wanted to cry. Funny thing is that it’s almost opposite my old flat on the river. I have genuinely spent three years of my life looking at this place.

I was awake racked with anxiety about the house last night. I wish it was logical but my brain just wouldn’t stop fantasising about living there and then chastising itself because I may jinx getting it. Those kinds of ridiculous sleepless nights seem to keep happening.

I’m still super nervous about living with Mark, but after a girls weekend with Ellie talking everything over I feel better. I think there’s always little dramas involved living with people, nobody tells you it’s never plain sailing! Hey, I lived with a best friend who turned into a nightmare in the past so I really should know this!

Anyway, excited/nervous ramble over. In other news, I’ve actually started a “proper” blog over on WordPress because I miss this kind of thing a lot, and now I work in content I should do this more!

Find me at https://kerridiculous.wordpress.com/ There’s not much on there but I’m trying to get into the swing of it again!

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Hello darkness my old friend

Kidding, this place is a winner.

I have no idea why i decided to log in after such a long absence. But i’m glad to poke my head in again. I’m just going to amuse myself by looking back at old posts and stalking a few people i don’t have on instagram.

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Yes!! I didn’t know this was a thing other people did!

my anxiety has a loophole that if somebody is else is equally or more uncomfortable I develop the sudden ability to Do The Thing