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juuh44 · 8 months

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STAIN RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

yes i do love this absolute gremlin of a man. no i do not take criticism of my bad taste

First of all, he drinks his respect women juice, so jot that the fuck down.

He tries to be an old-fashioned gentleman towards you, no matter what your gender is. Holding doors open, carrying your bags, bridal carrying you, the works.

Speaking of carrying you, he'll do so at any opportunity. And I mean any opportunity. Hope you don't mind surprise lifts!

He can't have a traditional job because he's so recognisable, so he's happy to be a househusband. He'll cook, clean, anything you need.

If anything, he can be overbearing, not letting you do anything for yourself. If you want this relationship to last, please talk this out with him.

All he asks in return is that you don't try to stop his whole... uh... hero killing thing.

You don't have to agree with it- hell, he might even manage to respect you even more somehow if you have a good reason for disagreeing with him- but just don't try and stop him, mkay?

If you're supportive, he might run his dramatic speeches past you before he heads out. If not, then he'll just pace in the living room and rehearse to himself.

Whether you agree with his beliefs or not, expect a lot of discussions and debates about the state of hero society. It's his favourite thing to talk about.

Also, don't expect him to tell you his real name any time soon. Telling you his name will be his ultimate sign of trust.

Expect most of your dates to be at home together. He can't go out in public much because of his... distinctive appearance. (ie the heroes would be jumping his ass the instant they recognised him.)

Still, he'll use these date nights to absolutely pamper you. A bubble bath, a face mask, a massage; anything to help you relax and feel good.

The man is completely and utterly devoted to you.

The only thing stopping him from being a sugar daddy is that he has no fucking money.

If either of you have to be away from each other for any reason, expect long love letters from Stain detailing just how much he misses you. It's borderline Victorian.

He won't seek out cuddles or kisses on his own, but if you like them, then he'll be sure to give you as many as he can. He lives to please, after all.

His favourite way to cuddle is with you on his lap, his arms around you and head rested on top of yours. Yes, even if you're taller than him. (Which isn't likely, but I guess nothing's impossible.)

Also, you probably figured this out already, but the guy's possessive as fuck. He won't say it outright, but you can tell from a lot of the little things he does.

He'll wrap you up in his scarf before you leave the house, he'll leave hickeys where they can't be seen but can sure be felt, when you do go out in public he'll have his arm around you the whole time...

Needless to say, if anyone harasses you while he's there, they're as good as dead... the one time a guy tries to grab your ass, he chops his hand off on the spot.

All in all, Stain might be an absolutely terrible person, but he's pretty okay as a boyfriend! As long as you don't care about his appearance or his morals, at least.

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