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Aaron Earned An Iron Urn

@dooleyfunny | IG

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choke on your own vomit

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so fucking sick of having to pretend like seattle is a real city

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fuck OFF why does seattle get the expansion team instead of detroit

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collecting posts of this type

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@ neil steinberg retire bitch

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The Ones Who Walk Into Omelas With Kevlar Vests And Samurai Swords And Desert Eagles And Stare Down All Those Wicked Unrighteous Sinners In Their Droves And Proceed To Totally Fucking Waste Them All In A High Octane Action Sequence That Kicks Insane Amounts Of Ass Think The Raid If It Was Directed By John Woo But When They Finally Get To The Door Of The Basement Where They Keep The Kid Oh Shit It's The Fucking King Of Omelas And He's Wielding The Cursed Obsidian Blade Of The Underworld And They Gotta Waste Him Too But He's Incredibly Fast And Strong Thanks To All The Power He's Getting From The Kid And He Kills Almost All Of Them Until The Leader Draws Him Out With A Double Feint That Leaves Him Wide Open And Cuts His Fucking Head Clean Off With A Single Perfect Stroke And Then They Finally Open The Door To The Basement And Free The Kid

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toddler niece is three so when we watch tv when we hang out it’s usually Bluey or one of two specific episodes of Dug Days she approves of, but sometimes we spice things up with a nature documentary or two. So there’s a newish one on netflix called Wild Babies which was advertised as being all about baby animals. Seemed perfect.

I’ll omit the fine details and just say that within five minutes we had watched an enormous baby seal emerge from its mother’s birth canal in all of its visceral splendor and I am now In Trouble with her parents,

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Neopetting at non Neopians

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the first time i ever had an edible i was watching Jersey Shore and i thought i was having a psychic moment because the phone rang on the show and i was like “ 🗿 she is going to pick it up and say Hello 🧠” and was correct

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i'm sorry i don't know the source of this because it was posted on reddit without credit but i'm obsessed with this

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beautiful blue skies and golden sunshine all along the way

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i hope jim davis gets assassinated. today's comic might have been the laziest i'd ever seen: four identical panels of garfield typing. didn't even bother to make the fingers that were typing different so it would look a little better. if you like garfield you should kill yourself