kaileeloo

[kaileeloo]

popsicle break 🫧

Denki would so challenge Kiri into a water gun fight , partly why half of his shirt and hair is wet 😅

[kaileeloo]

om nom nommm 🍥

my piece for the Kacchako’s Kitchen zine !! 🧡

[kaileeloo]

i dont know if it's how i was raised, my social anxiety, or arfid, but i feel utterly HORRIBLE when someone has to accomodate me food-wise. like i genuinely would eather not eat than inconvenience someone or have them go through the trouble of finding something i can eat. even when they tell me its okay, i feel terrible about it :(

[kaileeloo]

Fight little wolf!

[kaileeloo]

🖤 The League of Villains 🖤

[kaileeloo]

quick doods of my favorite crusty hero man + bonus duckling

[kaileeloo]

wip, recently discovered Epic the musical, the story, drama ,emotions, all....was kinda epic haha

[kaileeloo]

Your Telemachus design is sooooo pretty!

May….may I please have some more Telemachus crumbs…🥺

Sleepy telemachus

the baby <3

[kaileeloo]

oh she's BEAUTIFUL.

[kaileeloo]

🌸 “how special your smile is..”

✧ welcome

hi, I’m calx! this is a personal blog, so I post and reblog whatever has my heart at the moment — from fandom art to random analogies and emotional rants.

✧ info

Ochako enthusiast • minor • she/her • bi • ENFP 2w3 • 🇵🇭

🌸. typology: ENFP 2w3-6w7-1w2 so/sp | FELV | SCUEI | SanMel | IEE | Neutral Good ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪

dni: weirdos

✧ interests & fandoms

my hero academia, frieren, attack on titan, studio ghibli, bocchi the rock, harry potter, epic the musical, hamilton, the last of us, omori, doki doki literature club, south park, the music freaks, my little pony, littlest pet shop, typology (heavy on mbti and enneagram), squid game, krew, kubz scouts, & more

also love singing, music, journaling, psychology, & making ocs !

✧. dividers ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪

[kaileeloo]

I have an eating disorder hasn’t ever been formally diagnosed cause when i was a kid doctors just kinda shrugged it off. I have ARFID which means i’m very particular around the foods i eat and I often won’t eat if everything seems like horrible sensory.

I often have a very low appetite naturally I don’t feel hungry I actually was on a medication to help that for a bit, our mother made us get off it cause she believed it was causing a drug interaction (it wasn’t our doctor said it was fine she just has a very bad untreated anxiety disorder).

I often forget I technically have an eating disorder cause it’s just how i am, I don’t eat enough it caused me to very small growing up. I was underweight until I was like 15, Testosterone did help our weight a lot cause before T we were barely in Normal weight. Still my appetite issues are still here.

Related to the disorder I have a lot of fear about throwing up and we do a lot, the medication we were on helped with that too. Damn maybe we should ask a doctor to re prescribe it to us now that we’re paying for our own medications.

Anyways back to the main point, despite having an eating disorder that affects my daily life I often feel bad saying I have an eating disorder as it’s not like serious. Okay it kinda is, my parents also made it extremely worse cause instead of just having me get an NJ or another feeding tube as a kid. They forced me to eat like physically would force us to eat which was extremely traumatizing as I was a very young child and didn’t know what was going on. Which caused my relationship with food to be even worse.

What I was trying to say is usually it is not as serious as Anorexia,Bulimia, and Binge Eating disorder. As unlike those there’s no body image issues, it’s literally just my brain going all food bad rather starve.

ARFID is really common in people with Autism and/or ADHD. Cause it’s based on sensory issues which are things people with neurodivergence tend to have.

My parents really didn’t know how to raise a neurodivergent child so instead of being caring, they were like my child’s having a meltdown again, yell at them to shut up and them it’s disrespectful to act that way.

[kaileeloo]

i feel so awkward whenever im around ppl who are talking about food like haha yeah uh i like.. i like eating i like food yeah ! oh, do i like (insert food)? oh uh haha um not really i mean i havent tried it. i should really try it? uhh yeah sure maybe one day haha! sweating profusely.

like how do i just casually tell people i dont have a normal relationship with eating without having to go into extensive detail about what arfid is. i wish it was more known

[kaileeloo]

If I have to read one more "I hate picky eaters, they have the taste palette of a 5-year-old" post, I WILL actually start killing people. You don't want to be around "picky eaters?" Fine, then get the fuck away from us. We're better off without your judgment.

"But wahhhh why won't they just try something new" Shut. Up. Look up how things like adhd, autism, depression, and many more affect eating. Look up food allergies, intolerances, and general sensitivities. FUCKING LOOK UP ARFID. Seriously I am so damn tired of people not knowing shit about arfid, refusing to research even when I tell them about it (most of my doctors don't even know anything about it even though they've known about my struggles for over two years!) And then you have the nerve to shame us for dealing with an eating disorder that is fuck all hard to work through cuz, again, no one knows fucking shit about it and they don't want to learn! My therapist reached out to an eating disorder clinic to find help for me, and the only goddamn one who even knew it existed was the director.

Stay the hell away from so-called "picky eaters" if you're gonna make post after post complaining about how annoying you find us, or how you just so badly want to go to restaurants with your friend but they eat like a child! Go alone, asshole.

[kaileeloo]

New cooking show idea:

5-star chefs vs people with ARFID

Should be fun seeing the chefs try to make something great and amazing and then utterly failing because the customers have ARFID and can't enjoy half of the shit they're given lmao

(and please have me as the first customer)

[kaileeloo]

THANK YOU!!

as someone with ARFID i really couldn't care less about the distinction between "picky eaters" and "genuine eating issues." if you are an asshole to someone you see as "just picky" i will never, ever trust you. i've lived through the trauma of being shamed and humiliated for my eating needs.

frankly i think a LOT of "picky eaters" have some kind of sensory problems– autistic or allistic– and shame is never useful. i don't fucking care how annoying you think we are. if you've never lived through the humiliation of being the only one not eating at a dinner table, or having to choke down something disgusting you already know you hate because other people insist you don't know your own body, or getting a hunger migraine in a house full of food because none of its edible to you? you don't understand how awful it is to have food issues.

whenever i see people draw this distinction between being "just a picky eater" and "having a real problem" all i think is, who does this serve? most people don't even know ARFID exists. there are so many undiagnosed autistics, or just people with a variety of issues that aren't officially diagnosed. why do we need a medical label in order to be treated with respect and compassion? why did i need to be diagnosed as autistic for my family to realize the abuse they put me through for years because of my eating habits?

it's such an easy habit for neglected groups to fall into– the idea that a medical diagnosis can save us. that by appealing to the medical/psychiatric industry, we can be protected from abuse and given basic respect and resources. but the truth is that it should never have come to this in the first place. dignity doesn't come from an abled doctor telling you that there's a medical reason for your symptoms. it comes from being a person. once you accept that you need a Good Reason to have your needs respected, you doom yourself to neglecting and abusing those who have your same struggles because they aren't lucky enough to access medical recognition.

tl;dr solidarity with all "picky eaters" stop guilting people for having varying food needs, if we make you irrationally angry that's YOUR problem not ours, and abolish "children's menus" & replace them with simple-food menus for people of all ages

[kaileeloo]

An explainer for why I don't fuck with algorithmic social media

If you give a pigeon a little button to peck that releases pigeon food, it will push the button when it's hungry.

If you give a pigeon a button to peck that releases food every 5 pecks, it will peck it more often.

If you give a pigeon a button to peck that releases food at a randomly selected, always shifting number of pecks, the pigeon will peck that fucking button all day long.

Algorithm based social media is not set up to give you the best most fun stuff all the time, it is set up to give you a bunch of stress and nothingness with a randomized reward of something that actually makes you happy, because they want you pecking that button all damn day. It is a slot machine of content, meant to keep you putting in quarters made of your time and attention till you've nothing left.

At least if I'm having a shit day on my own Tumblr home feed it's because I've made a bad choice about who to follow and I can fix it.

[kaileeloo]

some further suffering doodles because ofc my clown self said make it stupider so ody is stepping up the drama and adding an aerial portion to his diversion. He really said we're going fishing for sirens and i shall be the worm.