kairospy - Tumblr blog

[kairospy]

this is my only thought right now thank you

[kairospy]

I can't wait for Jean to tell Kevin "have a winning day" before smacking the ball out of his net and sending it to Jeremy.

Can you imagine the violence???

[kairospy]

yes yes tsc gave us jerejean bonding and snarky Neil but we need to talk about Catalina Alvarez and Jean.

her kissing his shoulder and forehead and saying, you're a good man Jean Moreau. her teaching Jean to cook and him finding one of his first true comforts in spending hours cooking with her. Jean pushing about going to the court and Cat saying, patience, babe. Jean getting flustered and Cat saying, sometimes I forget you're just a kid. Cat getting pissed about the Ravens and memorizing and recounting the exact injuries that they gave Jean. Cat taking Jean for a ride to one of her favorite places to share the comfort with him. Cat giving him shells on the beach. Jean watching Cat dance with so much joy and freedom and thinking, Friends.

[kairospy]

30 min sketch of King and my king

[kairospy]

If anyone needs me I’ll be thinking about how Neil josten very sweetly borrowed a pen from a waitress to put out a hit on one of jeans abusers (I want to punch Grayson very badly) in literally the most casual way, made the literal fbi wait for hi to finish his drink, told them they were illegally parked, ate his takeout in the interrogation room, and did not stop sassing even when they like threatened him.

Please Never change Neil josten

[kairospy]

Jean: Oh when I have scars it's a problem but when HE has scars nobody minds

Jeremy: Jean he's trans

Jean: And I am French

[kairospy]

Let’s talk about the fact that Neil Josten is so SCARY from other perspectives. From his own he’s just like,,, “i’m just a kid fucking around before i die” but from Jean’s he seems certifiably insane. I somehow like him even more now.

[kairospy]

man this neil guy is so silly he should get his own book

[kairospy]

Andrew: I noticed our bank account balance looks a bit lower than it should. Any idea what that’s about?

Neil: Oh, yeah. I had Stuart put out a hit on an ex-Raven while I was in LA. Some asshole who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer when Jean told him to fuck off.

Andrew: Cool, just make a note about that in the budget.

Josten-Minyard budget item from July 2007: “$500,000; Los Angeles garbage disposal fee”

[kairospy]

Fanfiction don't hit the same after watching Neil order a hit on a napkin while eating Thai food

[kairospy]

Neil Josten really came in at the end of The Sunshine Court, with his intimate understanding of the long-term side effects of sexual trauma, and said "He strung the noose himself when he came all the way here to put his hands on you, and I am not afraid to kick the stool out from under him." What an icon. No notes. We could only stan.

[kairospy]

Tsc spoilers ahead -

Getting emotional over Jean calling Wymack in tears to ask why he’d take Kevin in, not knowing he was his son. Why he’d gone / would go so far to help Kevin and the foxes to make sense of why Jean’s own family failed him and Elodie 🥲

[kairospy]

favorite friendships ↬ Ronan & Noah

❝ Ronan eyed Noah. “I’m seeing an apparition right now.” Noah made a rude gesture.❞

—The Raven Cycle, Maggie Stiefvater

[kairospy]

neil’s insistence on hiding his scars for as long as possible bc he knows it’s not normal and the foxes Will stare and ask questions vs jean just stripping in front of the trojans bc he expects his teammates to ignore his abuse since it isn’t their business... neil flinching from wymack's loud voice bc he doesnt trust men old enough to be his father vs jean holding his racquet out for rhemann to hit him after "failing" to do what he said he would do because he expects to be beaten to a pulp by his superiors and because "contrition, coach"... it makes me sick!!! i need to wrap them up in a warm blanket forever

[kairospy]

I think the most endearing thing about Jean is that he just cares. So fucking much. Not to say that Neil doesn't but Neil had to learn to care and I think it's widely accepted that he cares about a select few people and cares about them fiercely; to the point of kill or be killed.

Jean though? He cares for almost everyone regardless of what they have done to him. He cared for Zane, the man who betrayed him in the most horrifying way for a number, for something Jean had no control over. He cared enough to save his life. He cared for Lucas who brought Jean's abuser right to his gate where he had believed himself to be safe. Not once did he lash out at him because he understood that his actions came from a desperation to know his brother again, the ache of having him near again but not having him at all. He cared for Cody, someone he doesn't even really know; cared enough to ensure they were safe and not being forced into something.

After being beaten down every day, holding on to life out of sheer desperation and perhaps a promise made to a once? friend, Jean still hasn't had his ability to care beaten out of him and it's such a beautiful miracle. He's a little like Andrew in this I think, in that he pretends so desperately to not care under the guise of barbed words and cold shoulders because that's a weakness, a chink in his already dented armour that the monsters can and will exploit with glee. He knows that yet he can't choke that tenderness out of himself.

[kairospy]

also i find it deeply funny that in tsc andrew is just kevin’s pet goalkeeper and kevin’s pet monster and “that creepy little goalkeeper” when he takes up soooo much space in aftg in literally every fucking scene. even when he isn’t physically present he’s taking up space on the page because neil won’t stop thinking about him. then u get inside jean’s head and he’s like yeah aaron minyard is uninteresting outside of his outstanding murder charge and andrew is also there

[kairospy]

one of my favorite things about aftg is that in any given conversation not related to about, like, three things (exy, Andrew, and the mafia) Neil is just. entirely checked out. he was there for the first sentence of that conversation and immediately clocked out once he realized there would be no Stick Ball Talk.