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[kaixooo]

June 2022 Architect cutie ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[kaixooo]

Poems & Words

[kaixooo]

“You deserve it more than anyone.”

[kaixooo]

#god fucking dammit those two are so fucking perfect together #honestly #annalise pushes everyone out of her life because she’s bad and she’s toxic and she does nothing but bring misery into people’s lives but she’s not #a bad person - or at least she doesnt want to be - so she does her best to save her people but ultimately she thinks that people are better #off without her #so she pushes and she hurts and she lashes out until there is no one else around her (both because she wants the best for them and the best is anything but her #and also because if she makes them leave now they cant choose to do so later when she’s attached and hopeful) #but Eve always comes back dont matter what annalise throws at her she always comes back #and annalise cant quite manage to be as hard or closed off as she is with the others #cant quite manage not to smile not to have fun not to be vulnerable #not to be /truthful/ #annalise fucking keating master of lies and manipulation the woman who does nothing without a motive #has never tried to lie or manipulate eve #she doesnt tell her everything of course but she’s more honest and open than she is with any other person in this show and i just want them #to run off and be happy together

[kaixooo]

So I’ll start with this.

I never loved anyone the way I loved Annalise. I loved her even when she didn’t choose me.

But those moments when she did choose me – I would feel seen.

I think we all seek that person in our lives – someone who shows us it’s possible to survive whatever good or bad is thrown at you. That’s one of the thousand things Annalise taught me; what feels like hell right now is a gift later. That’s not to say Annalise was easy to love. But then when you thought of that young girl from Memphis, you forgave her for everything. I think that’s why so many of us are here today – to remember her, yes – but also to forgive her.

For better or worse, we were all chosen by Annalise. And despite the demand she put on us, we know she taught us something. I think that’s what she valued most about her life. Not the trials she won, or glass ceilings she broke. But the fight she lost. She knew these were the things that made her, her. Determined, tough, stubborn. I know many people find it hard to be around a person like this. It’s easy to choose nice, even if that means settling. But the rest of us know this: when the sun shines on you, you’re a fool to turn away.

Eve's Eulogy, How to Get Away With Murder, Stay (S6E15)

[kaixooo]

favorite lgbtq relationships: annalise/eve because part of me’s still in love with you. it’s pathetic, i know. i mean, we were forever ago, but i guess i’m just stuck. yes, i’ve been with plenty of other women, buried myself in work, but you show up again in my life, annalise, and i’m just done. you still have me, and i hate it. i don’t hate you, but i, i hate how you make me feel. because i can’t have you.

[kaixooo]

Maybe you don't love me enough

[kaixooo]

It hurts that you thought of me as a disturbance rather than your refuge

[kaixooo]

I'm tired of begging people to love me. I'm so fucking tired. I want someone to love me more than the empty words they say. I'm tired listening to your iloveyous and imissyous when you dont even mean all of them. That your action says otherwise. I'm tired.

[kaixooo]

The way you just drop me off like that. As if I dont matter to you at all

[kaixooo]

I always feel like I'm struggeling to become someone else. Like I'm trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I guess it's part of growing up, yet it's also an attempt to reinvent myself. By becoming a different me, I could free myself of everything. I seriously believed I could escape myself — as long as I made the effort. But I always hit a dead end. No matter where I go, I still end up me. What's missing never changes. The scenery may change, but l'm still the same old incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger that I can never satisfy. I guess that lack itself is as close as I'll come to defining myself.

— Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

[kaixooo]

Thats why!! 😳

[kaixooo]

Reposting this cos I badly need someone to vent all my feelings out. But I dont have anyone who can listen to me without being a burden to them. I'm so fucking tired of everything. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die

Poems & Words

[kaixooo]

I don't know how to feel when I saw her photo on your phone. All my doubts and insecurities came back to me like a tsunami. I hate this feeling. I wanna die

[kaixooo]

Poems & Words

[kaixooo]

I'm so tired. I just wanna sleep forever

Poems & Words

[kaixooo]

I wanna die. I can't do this anymore