kattipatang

[kattipatang]

I was recently at an event and for an entire week I was surrounded by Sangat that was so loving and so wonderful – people I felt so open and free with. They’re people who check in with their close friends regularly. Who have activities they participate in weekly. For whom checking in on their friends isn’t something that has to cross their mind because they already regularly do it.

I saw a sense of community that I don’t have but that I deserve. I deserve people who check in on me. I deserve people who aren’t narcissists. I deserve people who show up. I deserve people who will include me in their triumphs and not just as a support in sorrows. I deserve people who don’t squeeze me out of their life because I’m not a cookie cutter version of who they want me to be.

[kattipatang]

Hi, I’m back after God knows how many years. I don’t know if I have any people I know left on here or if anyone will ever read this but I didn’t quite know where else to turn.

I made my first tumblr blog in 2010 after graduating high school. I had no friends then and I went through a traumatic incident of abuse in my household. I felt the dread knowing that if anything happened to me… if the abuser in my family did anything to me… no one was going to know because no one was going to check in on me.

After that I almost made it my life’s mission to meet and gather a beautiful chosen family of amazing friends. However, more than a decade later as I look at my impending 30th birthday drawing closer and closer, I feel myself feeling that exact same feeling of dread that 18 year old me did.

I have friends, don’t get me wrong, but we’ve come to that part in adulthood where I guess friendships get placed on the back burner. Some friends are busy, others are going through tough time, and some are unwell. I don’t hate my friends for not making me a priority but I would be lying if I said it didn’t sting.

I really don’t know where I’m going with this. But all I know is that I haven’t seen my friends in months. They don’t check in on me. I have to initiate contact with them. I don’t have a significant other. I have family but I feel they soon will abandon me for other reasons that I can’t talk about. Know one checks to see who I am. And that scares me.

The lady who lived in the house where we live right now died in her sleep and it took three full days before anyone knew she was gone. That’s my worst fear and I feel like that’s the future that awaits me.

So anyway, like 2010 me turned to this website to get a load off my chest, I thought 2022 me would feel better doing the same. Thanks for listening of you made it this far. May you be blessed. ❤️

[kattipatang]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[kattipatang]

Omg this is like 800 metaphors rolled into one megaphor

[kattipatang]

been howlin at scottish twitter for three days now here’s some of my favourites

[kattipatang]

if shes your girl why is she calling "woohoo boys" off her balcony and leading me into her apartment and letting me sit on her bed and telling me the reason these expensive linens aren't even soft is because sometimes things that are expensive are worse

[kattipatang]

i relate to anjali on so many levels

[kattipatang]

[kattipatang]

okay, i'm so mad at the sex education writers rn. like, when i watched the last ep i was resigned to the fact that eric will end up with adam but the more i mull over the fact the more angry i get.

like, yes, thank you writers for putting the fact that adam was abusive to eric out there. you did one thing good. but that was all very soon dismissed. it did not have any effects that should have been there. adam never even said sorry !!!

also, rahim deserved better. he was such an amazing and lovable and cool character. and the writers did him dirty by not developing his arc properly. he could have been eric's endgame. they had the chemistry. the compatibility. their relationship was interesting and three-dimentional. rahim never bullied eric. even if rahim was not eventually the one for eric, he shouldn't have been exchanged for that silent, boring, emotionless punch-machine.

but no, of course the writers decided to fuck all that. fuck the healthy gay rep - the religious poc gay rep - and gave the poor eric a flat, boring character with internalized homophobia and no hobbies or emotions. they literally gave this revolutionary character a storyline where he falls for his abuser - literal Stockholm syndrome.

and i can already feel that they're not going to write eric going back to rahim or breaking up with adam because too many cishet fangirls of the show have already started fetishising this uwu broken bad boy and the uwu gay couple

no character should ever be written into an abusive relationship but especially when said character is part of an underrepresented minority group

[kattipatang]

Rahim: I dedicate this love poem by my favorite poet..Pablo Neruda.. to you

Eric: thank you :)

Adam: is Romeo and Juliet like Frozen?

Eric: 

[kattipatang]

Can we also talk about the fact that Sex Education showed sooo much South Asian/Middle Eastern representation? It explored the nuances of brownness and didn’t just lump us into a monolith to serve as a checkmark on a diversity to-do list.

[kattipatang]

Rahim deserved better!!!!!!!! I find it hilarious how they had to make a potential great character shit so that your white faves look good by comparison

Sooooo Rahim doesn't make Eric happy like did yall see him on their first date Eric was elated

Not once did Rahim make Eric feel anything less than amazing, confident, and most importantly accepted

They're interactions were always positive even after the awkward church service they talked it out and even told each other ily🥰

But yall had to make Adam and eric a thing sooooo you turned rahim into a stale version of his character towards the end

Even tho he hates musicals he still showed up to support eric but nah Adam likes frozen and selfishly ruins the theater kids hard work soooo ya gotta love him

this bully turn lover shit ain't it

[kattipatang]

I’m sooo mad at what season two of Sex Education did with Rahim but honestly not even surprised, because racialized queer men treating other racialized queer men like crap in favour of toxic ass masc white boys is like the bread and butter of the gay male community.

[kattipatang]

even if ‘they’ was grammatically incorrect for a singular pronoun, if you value grammar over a human being then there’s a bigger problem here

[kattipatang]

pro tip: don’t fuck around with someone who never asks you a single question about yourself.

[kattipatang]

it must be really weird for anyone who was taught by dumbledore and mcgonagall and the rest to become teachers and have to, like, treat them as colleagues

like, snape and lupin have one (1) thing in common and it’s a pathological inability to call dumbledore by his first name

[kattipatang]

One of the best parts of having a toddler in your life that can navigate YouTube is they find some wild shit