kavurtz - Tumblr blog

[kavurtz]

Dysphoria is like constantly getting chocked everyday .. the mroe and mroe it happens the less you start trying to fight it . Eventually you give up and just let it strangle you to death.. (sui$ide) 🤷🏾‍♂️

[kavurtz]

I ain’t event suprised yu and joshie found this LMAOO I know you see this IDIOTS

AYE HOW DID JEN FIND MY REDDIT?? EMBARASSING.

[kavurtz]

Maybe I am in denial but who knows why I think the way I do it sucks having to go through this alone but I’m not alone I have a lot of supportive ppl in my life but they could never ever over rule my family. Even if their were a million of them. All I want is for my parents to be proud of me no matter who I become or am destined to be. I want love and affection from them the most but I feel they are tired of seeing me fall on my face but even after I fall I get back up and do better so what the problem. I hate to be in my head all the time but it’s the only safe space for me I’m not saying I don’t wanna live but I’m saying dying don’t seem too bad. Maybe even the better option. My life right now is a fucking lie and I hate seeing it rn. No shortcuts tho let’s see how everything leads up to be. My name is kayden. Ok it’s just Kayden. Call me what you want to just love me the same. Am I a boy? No I am a boy, but just call me what you want to as long as you still love me. I like girls. No no I like who I LIKE just LOVE ME THE SAME! 😞 are my hormones playing tricks on me? why the hell can’t I just be a normal human. Nobody is perfect nobody and nobody is I guess “normal” . Did god make me like this? Or am I just a defect that needs to be erased from this world. I say I’m ok when really I am not. I laugh with friends but cry myself to sleep later. BUT SHIT I AINT GIVEN UP THATS NOT AN OPTION. THIS PARH IS BUMPY AS HELL BUT THAT AINT GONNA STOP ME. BESIDES ITS NEVER REALLY A CHALLENGE IF ITS TOO EASY! My challenge is to SUCCSEED make my PARENTS PROUD make my family PROUD! I was BORN TO BE A WINNER! SO STOP LETTING YOUR WMOTIONS SHIFT YOU TO BEING A LOSER. It’s lame! We’re strong 💪🏾 your strong 💪🏾 our name is Kayden. Never forget that!

[kavurtz]

Request- write about oikawa x reader make is go to the beach but the reader gets sunburn and oikawa take care of us (reader)

can someone leave me some date ideas or something for some of the hq characters 🤲🤲 I’m running on like 2 monster energies and I’m still blanking out ;;

[kavurtz]

I like girls.

This mainly for me I can’t write this in my notes bc my mom checks it sooo yea. If you know me n you read this I don’t care lel

I think being gay ain’t a choice. As I grow I realize that shit isn’t I used to think it was and if you really wanted to if you were a girl you could just stop liking women or if your a dude you can stop liking a dude. As a child looking back I was fr in denial.

I like a girl on my bus. Her hair was naturally curly and she had a beautiful smile. She always wore cherry lipgloss and it made her face shine fr. She was kind..and always gave me a snack on the bus. She was a junior while I was a 7th grader.. and I know she was straight as a pole too. I thought about her a lot and uh well I would always tel myself why am I thinking of a girl gross. I suppressed feelings for girls through the whole year. If I saw a gay couple I would always tell myself to see that it’s disgusting and bad. Moving on into 8th grade year.

I was 14 and I invited a girl I liked to my birthday party! Her name was jada her skin glowed under the sunlight fr. Skin was smooth too and a nice dark chocolate. I really liked her personality she was super cool to talk to man and she was super funny I did everything with her. At the party you know my dumb self I can’t really hide if I like someone..maybe acting kinda flirtatious with movements and touchyness? Ion know lol. But my mom noticed. I was stare at jada just analyze her. That whole day felt everyone was moving in slow motion while I was going real time. After the party which was awesome btw my mom took me home..best birthday turned into the fucking worst one in 2 seconds

TRAMATIZING

I remeber this day vividly. Shit was traumatizing. My mom sat me down at the dinning table said that she wanted to talk. That’s never good so I just sat down in fear. She asked me “Do you like Jada” in denial I obviously told her no and said stupid shit like being gay is wrong and I could never like a girl that’s against the Bible! My mom didn’t believe one word of it though. She said “if I find out you are gay like women or ever want to be a man or whatever you will be kicked out of this house and we will never accept you you will be a disappointment to the whole family” I stomached that awfully. I ran to my room bro lmao and just cried the whole night. I told myself I can choose to not like girls so I just kept telling myself bro you like boys boys are cool girls are nasty you could never date a girl. I always had that in my mind and it ruined me forever. No like actually that shit fucked me up I started doing shit I was not supposed to do thinking I was going around my feelings bro. Anyways FAST FORAWRD TO 9th grade

9th grade was actually a hella good year for me no cap. I met some awesome freinds and even have a new click with them along with many others. But there’s this certain girl bro NOW NOW WAIT let me tell you sim bro my taste in girls completely like FLIPPED I used to clown girls who wore like stripped crop tops and vans and those like boot shoes irl that softgirl awesthetic look. Something like that. But now that’s the type of girls I like. Dorky girls that dress like that. I used to like girls that were “bad” wore the most on brand clothes like Nike and shit like there fit was nice as hell. Now don’t get me wrong I still love that fashion I just prefer the other one WAYYY more. Yoooo anyway. I’m in 9th grade in band and like there’s this girl she play the clarinet and like she has grey blue eyes her eyes pretty asab I don’t care. She’s a dork lol she is goofy and dances funny out of no where idk why she does that but she does lol. Now listen man I’m not a creep! But I would just stare at her sometimes at like games for football just stare at her idk why but I did I liked looking at her eyes a lot bc they were pretty THATS it. She found out i liked her tho idk who the hell either told her or if she found out by herself but uh ye I didn’t really care tho cuz I was like I can’t like girls anyway that’s gross ha ha ha bull shIT. Bru it was even worse cuz she had a whole ass girl bro I did not give a FUCK 😂😂 nahhh fast forward again. Her and her girlfreind like broke up like her girl broke up with her. And I remeber getting that text and I always joke around saying if that happened I would YESSSIRRR AYEEE LETSSS GOOO but I was actually upset. I was like bro what the hell? I got to school n like she was there crying. I would have comforted her more but I just kinda stood down and said I was sorry and that everything would be alright. Everytime I saw that girl I was mad at her giving her ugly looks man I was so mad 😂😂 but why was I feeling like this bro idk! I just was! I still kinda feel bad but everything happen for a reason man but uh let’s unpack that that girl was the actuall like ACTUALL first girl I liked her fashion personality and all that shit was perfect 😂 we still go to school together I’m in the 10th grade I don’t like her anymore tho but she is a good friend of mine

ALRIGHT this for me. Listen man! As of right now today you are confused lol. You don’t really know who you are and you still teynna figure it out and that’s ok! You like girls and that’s ok. Do you know why you like girls? Let’s give all the reasons..reason 1 because you can reason 2 because you can reason 3 BECAUSE YOU CAN! It’s just how you feel it sucks hc you really tried running away from that truth saying I can choose to not but guess what you always end up right back here 😂 liking another female 😂😂 damnnn bro I know parents ain’t accepting and that shit is tough but maybe one day ONE day they will come around I hope man they are so homophobic it’s scary literally can’t even sing a song without my dad being transphobic.. nah but fr didn’t god make us this way..? Wouldn’t he know this was gonna happen? God makes no mistakes and here I am he made me a female but I feel like a boy I ask god everyday what is going on and what do I do am I supposed to be feeling this way? I have not gotten my answer yet but don’t worry god will asnwer I don’t feel comfortable being a girl that’s why we always pretended to be someone else and that shit isn’t cool nor good for us. I’m happy to say we stopped doing that shit and that we finally trying to be ourselves we even changed our HAIR to look more masculine ahaha we look good now time for the fashion. Go shopping with freinds because you can only shop comfortably with them shopping with mom sucks bc she judge everything you pick and say it too boyish ugh I hate that saying like god damn. I wish I could wear polos and tuxes n shit I hate wearing dresses and skirts bro it’s awful! NAH BUT LOOK BRO WE WORKIN ON OURSELF YEEESSSIR ! I’m logging that shit everyday! IM NOT TRYNNA LOOK LIKE LIL TECCA BUT UHHH MY LEGS AINT IT I HATE THEM 😂 we gettin their tho it take time by the time I a junior i want people to see a change 😂 one last thing is never do sum you uncomfortable with. You stay doing that for other people and it’s trashy 😑 ok well I’m going it’s uh 11/19/20 sooo yeeee! See you in 2021 Kayden ! Check back wihh ty me with the date

Ok no more

[kavurtz]

I can’t write. But I can edit and that’s more fun than writing

Like édit on my insta @almighty_editor.go

[kavurtz]

Stream my music kxngkaydenn

[kavurtz]

I have actually seen 2 pretty best freinds..

Casper and casperia

[kavurtz]

38..

This is a psa.. to everyone who plays roblox

^this is your warning ⚠️ this contain bad word drug and bad stuff but it’s all to teach so enjoy.

This first person you are haley jenkins

Another boring Saturday..it’s a pandemic so you can’t really see your friends as much as you usually do. The only time you really see them is at school but you guys barely even wave at the glimps of each other. Things are just rough right now but you know to get thru it.

Man idk what to do today. Maybe I will play roblox and play a stupid Obby or something. You type into the search bar “escape school obby”. You chuckle to yourself because you know this game is bad. Whatever I’ll just play. You join game and see all noobs except for a specific player..His user is Jackskyplays. Lol what a stupid user..atleast he has some robux

Jackskyplays types in the chat “you know what I have never seen before..”

You type back in the chat..”what”

Jackskyplays types “I ain’t ever seen 2 pretty bestfreinds..it’s always one of em gotta be ugly..”

You dead ass die because you can’t escape this stupid meme everyday people tell you the same joke and it is like you are in this eternal hell..in frustration you cut your ears off..peace atlast.. I am dead and can’t hear..

BUT YOY STILL HEAR IT YOU STILL HEAR I AINT EVER SEEN 2 PRETTY BESTFREINDS YOU FANT ESCAPE YOU RUN TO THE NEAREST BRIDGE AND DROWN TO DEATH.

AND CUT! The director says! Nice acting haley you made me think it was real. Haha I know I’m good like that. You go into your break room and look in your mirror but you see him..you see..Mario Judah. He’s singing to you he sings. “I HAVE FOUND YOU *n word* DONT YOU RUN FROM ME YOU *n word”

YOU BREAK THE MIRROR IN FEAR AND IT SUCKS YOU INTO A PARANORMAL UNIVERSE

AHHHHH! You wake up in a sweat.. I’m so glad all of this is a dream. That was an awful dream. You get out of bed and brush your teeth..as you slowly look into the mirror you notice your eyes are buttons.. YOU ARE IN THE CORALINE UNIVERSE AND THE WITCH SPIDER LADY MADE YOUR EYES BUTTONS YOU JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND LITERALLY FL THRU THE EARTH into a hospital bed.

What.?? What the hell is HAPPENING!!!

In the end you were phycotic and actually in the little place for phycopathes

The end.

This is literally the worst thing I have ever wrote lmao

[kavurtz]

Kenma is rich y’all date and he is so rich he literally dies but comes back to life because he is so rich

Kenma- ayo hey shawty check out my whip

You- tf? Is he talking to me?

*you look around confused asab then you see him hop out of his beautiful tesla

You- woahhhh!

Kenma- what’s a girl like you doing in the town all alone at night.

*you look around nervously GASPING for air bc you are broke and can’t breath his nice rich air*

You- I-I-I-I-I-

Kenma- tf? Is you glicthen for?

*he grabs you by your hand and pulls you to his tesla*

Kenma- check me out girl.

*he points to his tesla*

[it is sparkling gold brighter then the pearly gates of heaven even god is amazed the interiror is gold as well blinding and broke person that even looks inside. Elon musk is in the passenger seat eating a travy patty like the rich man he is while listening to WOO BACK BABY and even pop smoke is in the back spiritually]

You- You are so rich omg date me

Kenma- yes

You- yes

*you hop in his car and y’all Cruze thru the night*

[out of nowhere a drunk driver crash into y’all car and kenma literally dies]

You- omg..

*you cry cutley as you call the police*

Pop smoke- HAVE MERCY ON ME..

Élone musk- uhhhh I’m out

*elone musk teleports away*

You- kenma get up I can’t let you die!

Kenma- ...😞

Kenma- ...😵

You- NOOOOOOOO

Kenma- sike you thought I’m too rich to die! But uhh the other guy is defodead

Other guy- ...😵

You- oh well

Kenma- let’s go!

Fin.

[kavurtz]

Kenma is rich y’all date and he is so rich he literally dies but comes back to life because he is so rich

Kenma- ayo hey shawty check out my whip

You- tf? Is he talking to me?

*you look around confused asab then you see him hop out of his beautiful tesla

You- woahhhh!

Kenma- what’s a girl like you doing in the town all alone at night.

*you look around nervously GASPING for air bc you are broke and can’t breath his nice rich air*

You- I-I-I-I-I-

Kenma- tf? Is you glicthen for?

*he grabs you by your hand and pulls you to his tesla*

Kenma- check me out girl.

*he points to his tesla*

[it is sparkling gold brighter then the pearly gates of heaven even god is amazed the interiror is gold as well blinding and broke person that even looks inside. Elon musk is in the passenger seat eating a travy patty like the rich man he is while listening to WOO BACK BABY and even pop smoke is in the back spiritually]

You- You are so rich omg date me

Kenma- yes

You- yes

*you hop in his car and y’all Cruze thru the night*

[out of nowhere a drunk driver crash into y’all car and kenma literally dies]

You- omg..

*you cry cutley as you call the police*

Pop smoke- HAVE MERCY ON ME..

Élone musk- uhhhh I’m out

*elone musk teleports away*

You- kenma get up I can’t let you die!

Kenma- ...😞

Kenma- ...😵

You- NOOOOOOOO

Kenma- sike you thought I’m too rich to die! But uhh the other guy is defodead

Other guy- ...😵

You- oh well

Kenma- let’s go!

Fin.

[kavurtz]

How the heck do I verify my email