kazpotions

[kazpotions]

no. 3108232113

i marvel at the white city lights, the blinding of cars trafficking on and on. the night is young, as a swirl of hurricanes welcome us into the gate of fall. the bright billboards that just seemed to scream shelter from the swinging rain. could my eyes deceive me, i would have thought my presence engulfed me in the heart of new york city. i stare out eagerly, waiting and waiting for the vehicle armed with those so-called four round spheres, wishing a 49x could stride in the midst of the mid-summer rain. my knees tremble cold, as the sweat of my body slowly makes its way to my shoulders. the queue behind me stretches and lengthens, signalling the end of yet another spectacular day. And so as the rain lightly treads on the city lights never-ending, i reminisce of all the things i have done. i thank the typhoon, i thank the wonderful people on earth, i thank the most loving God i could ever have in my mortal lifetime. a slight wind ushers at my feet, the rain playing as music over my headphones. my heart does hold guilt and fear, though it will all me dismayed for i am nothing but alone. i could only dream, for a night where everything but my happiness, only consoles me to my eternal sleep.

[kazpotions]

072923

screams of laughter and excitement filled the room as music blasted through the speakers. phones, one by one, turned on and flamed by the red button that pressed record. every screen, every display, was duplicated of the same scene: the idols on the stage. as they dance and sing, i too, hold my camera up high, as if binoculars searching for animals at a tropical rainforest. they are not puppets on a screen, nor a doll being to played with, but a human— just like the rest of us. i wonder, what must be going in their mind? how do they feel? and as they turn around, i feel the hard pressure of glory as it burdens down on them. they must be so young, dedicated their lives to this job one of a kind: where the whole world watches you at your highest— and your lowest. these people are not weak, but ones who have potential to be strong. how hard it must be, to shoulder the expectations of people to the utmost impossible, even. this is not something lightly to take upon, it is something a willing person must do. idols are filled with such lies, lies curtained my the lustful desires of those who adore, and without this lie they are doomed to fail. one who puts up the mask must never take it off, for the real identity has already submerged into nothingness. idols are not your plaything, your toy in the box, or a ragged plush waiting for your entertainment. they are, the same as us, at the end of the day. so why should i think so highly of you? someone who has a higher status than me, can achieve greater things than me? you may be blessed by the fortunes of God, but we are all but having the same ending. you play your part in society, as do i. so as i sit on the shining brown chair combed to perfection, i daze across the brightly lit stage lights and wonder to myself with a drip of curiosity. how they seem to be skating on thin ice, as if a little trip— could drown themselves forever.

[kazpotions]

230712

Quite funny, isn’t it? Humans, at the end of the day, remain human. Whether you know the person sitting next to you or not, we are all bound to the same fate— the unmerciful grip of lavish, hopeless, death. Boarding the train on a sunny afternoon, the sun scorches the tiny cells of our skin. The blue light on the phone irritates my eyes, and my stomach churns at the thought. I look up to the train panel, absorbing the flickering rainbow lights as the speakers announces the next stop. With a sudden thud, the train erupts to a halt, as a new wave of people crash in this lifeboat. It’s very interesting, how one common theme can bond people together. The person next to me must have had to ride this train for a reason too, right? I stare at the boy in front of me, covered in a pink hoodie and black shorts. He seemed to be carrying a duffelbag… your average gymbro, maybe? I could tell by the way his muscle shook when his legs shuffled. Say, the woman next to me, seemed to shrivel in a tiny spot, clinging her hands tightly to the screen of her phone. What she was seeing, though, I could not picture. The device was curtained in black. Her clothes were knitted in blue, glasses reflecting across the bright horizon. I thought it was very strange. How, we are all boarding the same train yet going to different destinations. Some might go grocery shopping, lunch after a hard morning at work, or just hanging out with friends as the summer of July sets in the land. It’s quite shocking that humanity has evolved into the state of technology. I wonder, if God was here right now, I could proudly say: “Look how humans have evolved! How we change our minds and set the stones in our reality.” See that’s the most crazy things about humans. However many times they strike themselves down, humanity always finds itself again.

[kazpotions]

and

Feeling like an everyday Sunday, my ears feel the rush of the skies on a summer afternoon. That familiar noise that ran past, visions of a slight airplane trudging in the sky. The feeling of nothingness, dreadfulness, guilt, and utmost escapism— the world that I was bound in chains to. It wasn’t always like this, it started with a boring thought, a pinch of curiosity driving through my inner brain. I remember, so vividly, as my 5-year old self, touched the face of my wooden desk. Dusted and broken, I lay my bare arms on the platform of the wood, while shouldering my petite head on it. I remember, the young me, the who-knew-nothing me, the innocent me, the kind me, the cheerful me— searching for wonders across the blue-tainted sky. I remember, it was on a sunny Sunday afternoon, and it was quiet. The footsteps of my mother couldn’t be heard, but I felt the sky looming over. I can’t describe this feeling in words, as it churns the lock on my heart. For a few seconds maybe, then it goes away. It’s not very flattering. Like a animal stuck in hypnosis, I snap and return to the world I so desperately want to leave from. As the summer breeze slowly walks by, the hairs on my head wobble one by one. And soon, I feel drowsy.. tipsy… and ready.. to dream of dreaming.