keanthehermit

[keanthehermit]

Dread

“Existence is pain.”

Rick and Morty’s Mr. Meseeks were right—existence is, indeed, pain.

The problem with existing in this world is that it is inherently meaningless, and we are forced to persist in order to find a meaning for ourselves. It comes easily to others in the form of their passions, and relationships. To others, it is nothing but torture.

We were born into this world without our consent. That is to say, we never chose to be conceived and birthed, only to be subjected to the cruelty of the modern world. Of course, it would be justified to be depressed about the things we never chose for ourselves, but are forced to struggle with.

The human is naturally averse to harm. There is always an internal struggle when the moment to commit suicide comes; and self harm is a product of the need to deter pain that would otherwise be unbearable. At times—most times, in fact—I just want to tear myself apart.

Piece by piece, I want to disintegrate until all that’s left is a trace of my consciousness. What would the world look like without the pain of cognition? I know, however, that is impossible—at least with aversion to suffering, it is. All there is, is hope that better days will come, even if it is the most shameless and blatant of lies.

Which begs the question—why must we continue to exist when it only leads to pain?

Being a Meseeks is a far more desirable form of existence. Imagine being summoned into this world, meeting an organism that wants something, et voila! Their command is your purpose, and you stop existing the moment you fulfill the order—what bliss their lives must be. We, on the other hand, do not meet our creators before being born—we don’t come with instructions.

If all that we can do is persist despite all this needless suffering, the only real way to move forward is to scrape each and every tinge of joy that life offers, and desperately hold on to that fleeting feeling of euphoria. Otherwise, there is nothing else in this life. If there truly is a creator, the first thing I would do in the afterlife is to give them the middle finger—proverbial justice for all the pain I have had to live through.