keepcalmandhateeverything - Tumblr blog

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

things that annoy me

to get rid of at least a bit of the anger hiding within me, i will here make a list of everything that annoys me

people who walk SLOW AS FUCK in the snow. it's snow. you're not gonna slip. and if you do, you're not gonna die. you'll barely hurt yourself since you'll probably fall on everyone who is behind you TRYING TO PASS YOUR FAT ASS WHICH IS TAKING UP THE WHOLE PAVEMENT

my entire class, voided of any kind of humor whatsoever. ever heard of laughing at shit that is actually funny? no?

old people - haven't you died yet? what is your old ass doing outside your front door if you are so afraid of falling that you walk at 1 mph? just stay home in your little sofa and don't ever get up from that. or walk like normal people (the ones who don't take up the whole street while walking)

people who rush past you in the hallways and accidentally push you AND DON'T APOLOGISE OH MY GOD CAN YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF OR FALL DOWN THE STAIRS AND LAND ON YOUR NECK OR SOMETHING

that girl who knows no-one likes her and still is overly social with everyone, pretending to be BFF with everyone. i hate you. go away.

TEACHERS!!!! DOES IT FUCKING MATTER TO YOU THAT I'M STANDING SMOKING ON TOP OF THE STAIRS (outside) OR IF I STAND 2 STEPS DOWN?!?!?! I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck you

my period, meaning i can't have sex for a week and instead have eternal constant cramps in my vagina. nice. thanks evolution.

mothers with their toddlers in their fucking prams. walking around like they are holy mother teresa or something. congratulations, you had sex, walked around for 9 months looking like a whale with a tumor, carrying a parasite which you then pressed out from your vagina. this DOES NOT mean that you can now act however the fuck you want and park your goddamn baby prison  wherever the fuck you want. and since you're still fat and your pram is huge, please don't walk on the pavement because you are blocking the way for normal people. walk on the road. yes i am aware that there are moving cars there. so?

my stupid class whom i just want to lock in a cellar somewhere in the woods and never ever let out and just watch them eat each other and stuff. oh maybe i just mentioned my class...

vegetarians. no explanation needed.

politically active teenagers. shove your opinions up your own butt, not in my face, fuck you very much

people who always want to be politically correct and shit. "rape is not a joke" yeah well your face is 

my philosophy class. what the fuck is the point with everyone repeating what the teacher said, in other words, and then arguing against each other.

asians that feel obliged to follow the stereoptypical straight A-path.

MUSE. I FUCKING TRUSTED AND LOVED YOU GUYS AND YOU CANCELLED YOUR FUCKING SHOW AND NOW I'M SO FUCKING DISSAPOINTED AND JUST SAD. FUCK YOU MATT AND YOUR BROKEN FUCKING FOOT. WHICH APPARENTLY IS FUCKING FINE NOW, AFTER A WEEK. THE DAY AFTER THE CONCERT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. FUCK.

and the final last thing that annoys me the most: ME.

i have become a monster. from the black hole which used to fill people's spirits with hatred and anxiety, i am now the cute little fairy who is pooping rainbows on everything and is happy and cries when my boyfriend says something cute out of that filthy mouth of his. and i actually kind of like it... KILL ME.

oh god this just made everything worse. luckily, philosophy is ending now so see ya fuckers another time

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

update for the first time in forever

i just realised i have become one of those happy motherfuckers... i really don't know what to say... and the worst part is, i don't know what to hate...

LET ME HATE SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh i know what i can hate... when you get these lottery thingies that you scrape off to see if you have won! well i never fucking win and i fucking hate that

i'm pathetic. but i try... i still hate school and people and people in my school but you know that is so trite so i can even be fucked writing about that. 

ooh something came into my empty brain! yesterday i attended my friend's birthday "party". i say "party" because it was meant to be a party and it sucked major ass because no one danced or had alcohol and apparantly, it is simply impossible for younger people to have fun without alcohol in their system. but hey i don't judge. i can hardly function without alcohol so yeah...

anyway, the birthday girl's best friend drank half a cider and then chased everyone around the basement in which the party was in order to tell everyone how awesome they were and how much she loved them, after miserably failing in trying to make people dance. the cuntiest thing she did was to invite her own "friends" and not the friends of the birthday girl.... these "friends", whom no one else knew, came there, drank some vodka, made horrid facial expressions after a sip and then proceeded to stand there awkwardly and looking at people. 

when they asked me why i wasn't dancing (which for them is to stand in the middle of the floor with an empty plastic cup and stare at others doing the exact same thing), i merely stated that i do not dance because my legs are fucked up. people asked why and what had happened, so i sarcastically replied that my legs are amputated.

and then this guy gives me the single most retarded look i have ever set eyes upon. his mouth was wide agape, the chin almost at his knees, the slightly cross-eyed expression trying to focus and see why the fuck i wasn't in a wheelchair, oh it was the worst thing i have ever seen. his parents must be so proud.

after his friends multiple times had explained to him that i was joking, he looked at me a little longer and then went back to the dance-staring.

yeah another reason to hate people. if someone invites you to a party you go there and socialize. you DON'T sit on your ass in the host's parking lot for an hour waiting for your cab just because you are a spoiled little bratcunt. if you recognize this behavior, you either 

A) have met these kinds of people, in which case i feel really bad for you,

or 

B) ARE one of these people, in which case you should go and fuck yourself repeatedly in the rectum with a hot fork because no one likes you and your ass would probably look better afterwards than it did before.

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

lol people suck

you know people who really suck? vegetarians. they're kinda like this fanatic old christian lady who walks the streets of central stockholm, screaming to people that they are the spawn of satan and so on. don't get me wrong - i'm just voicing my opinion and i don't want my friends who are vegetarians to hate me, so i really don't have anything against your choice of lifestyle, just wanted to make that clear before I go on. Also, I love animals. But when I see the disgusted looks I get whenever I place meat on my plate, I think you've gone too far. You have an opinion, something to stand for? Good for you. Don't force it on me. That's all I ask for. I won't stop eating meat because you give me a bitchy look, it's just not gonna happen and when you do this, you are just like the religious fanatics condemning me to hell because I don't share their views. So guys, I accept your choice. Why can't you accept mine? (Notice how nicely I wrote this. On the inside I just wanna slap the mcshit out of you and shove my meatloaf down your throat just as you do with your opinions, but to be politically correct is apparently very important for you vegetarians so I'm writing this in a parenthesis because it makes me feel more secure that you won't murder me with your vego-ass burgers when I'm asleep k)

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

twats on the train

i met a real asshat today! oh god. seriously, my hatred for people just keeps growing. i mean, they're just so disgusting... well this fella, another dickfaced fucking asshole, is standing in the line which accumulates on the platform as the train arrives. but he doesn't stand in his place and wait to board the train, oh no, he fucking pushes past people (including a 7-year old boy) so he can get on the train first just to be able to block the path for everyone else. he also, being the douche he was born to be, held on to the pole and managed to do this in a way that while he was standing still and the train was moving, the shorter people around him (who weren't able to reach the pole in the roof) couldn't save themselves from the inevitable fail of falling on everyone else as soon as the train fucking moved. needless to say, he was over 2 metres tall and could've easily reached the roof pole. but, as if all this is not enough, when i gave him the bitchstare of the year for being a retarded assfaced frogfucker, he actually had the guts to STARE DOWN MY SHIRT. yes, he actually did that. instead of moving and falling down on his knees to beg for my forgiveness, he shamelessly averted his eyes down my cleavage. this is the main reason why i "accidentally" tripped him as he was getting of the train. oops

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

should give this to a special someone in your life

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

gästinlägg på svenska by anonym dansk

Då min kära vän som driver denna blogg har lite svårt för hatet då hon mestadels är glad på grund av en viss herreman, så fick jag lov att göra ett gästinlägg. Vad jag vill tala om är vad som frusterar mig. Det kanske inte gör mig arg, men störigt ofokuserad på de mest opassande tidpunkterna. Jag som är tjej skulle vilja påstå att jag är precis lika sugen som en annan kåt kille.. Men jag har däremot, till skillnad från alla ni glada jävlar som har henvän eller lever ut och inte bryr sig ett skit, ett litet handikapp: Jag hatar mig själv smått om jag lever ut, men blir så fruktansvärt frustrerad och störd om jag inte gör det. Fuck det. Och ju mer jag vågar leva ut (vara med killar) desto mer vill jag ha, desto mer skiter jag i min störigt stora självbild (JAG FÖRTJÄNAR DET BÄSTA, INGEN FÖRTJÄNAR MIG, SEX SKALL VARA I SAMBAND MED KÄRLEK) som jag byggt likt ett luftslott. Varje gång jag faller för mina hetsiga nycker kastar jag bajs på luftslottet som en gång var så vitt och så vackert. Men asså shiiiiiiiiiiiet så det känns skönt att kasta bajs på det.. Är först efteråt när jag är ensam som jag ser hur hemsk och bajsbrun min en gång så vita dröm var och undrar ångestfyllt om det verkligen var värt det. Jag känner mig dålig, smutsig och inte sådär stolt och sällsynt som förut. Idag satt jag på matten (mitt sämsta ämne) och kunde absolut inte koncentrera mig. Mina stackars klasskamrater skulle häpna över hur mycket barnförbjudet som ryms i mitt så dimmiga huvud under en av de där gudsförgätna mattelektionerna.. Eller njee..De skulle nog inte häpna allt för mycket misstänker jag. Jag måste hitta min väg ut ur denna rävsax. Tror svaret ligger i att skaffa ett förhållande, men classic, desperat pojkväns-hetsig tjej vill man ju heller inte vara. Önska mig lycka till! Men bara så ni vet: Jag fördömer inte någon som kan låta bli att leva ut eller som gör det heller för den delen. Jag själv befinner mig i något av ett gränsland och DET är jobbigt. Jag kastar inte bajs på er syn på saken, mest min egen. FUCK LAJF och ha det bäst små hatfyllda hestar.

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

i don't want to live on this planet

dunno about you guys but here in sweden we have gangs of the so called fjortisar (14-year old whores walking the streets in skanky-ass clothes and just being disgustingly disgusting) and P12or (12+ year old boys - basically all boys younger than you - who are almost equally disgusting as the fjortisar, but have even shriller voices). these spawns of the devil tend to walk around or sit EVERYWHERE and just be fucking annoying as fuck, yealling, tickling each other and screaming their tiny lungs off (they haven't yet learned how to inhale cigarette smoke and only take tiny mouth-drags so they still have their voices left - unfortunately)

note that not only i, the master of hatred, hate these "people". everyone does. i think that deep down inside, even they hate themselves for being such annoying pricks.

so what shall we do with this scum of the earth? any suggestions?

if you don't have any suggestions, we'll just hunt them down and brainwash them until they become completely retarded and then.. oh wait they already are retarded. we'll have to turn them into vegetarian zombies. free manpower! 

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

just a question

i have a bunch of irrational phobias. one of them is that i'm extremely afraid that people will hear me when i pee in public toilets. i can't pee if i know people are outside and can hear my urine coming out of my body and hitting the white throne. (this is, for the record, my only weakness)

which is why i always open the tap so the sound of flowing water will drown out the sound of flowing urine. it's a scientifically proven method. fuck the environment and lack of water; i don't want people to hear me pee.

now answer this question for me: if you hear the sound of water from one of the stalls which you are standing in line for... would you still jerk the fucking door like you're having some sort of seizure?

if you answered 'yes' on the question above, you're an asshole and deserve to die.

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

yeah wow buttfuck you

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

back in hell

so here i am, fucking sitting in the fucking computer room in my fucking school listening to the fucking teacher talking about some fucking shit that's so fucking sucky i can't even fucking believe it and sure as fuck don't give a fuck about.

yep, you guessed right fucker. i'm back in school. it's quite a change compared to my awesome summerbreak. yes my summer was really awesome and that is the reason why i haven't been updating this wonderfully hateful place for a while. but now it's different... as soon as i set foot in this hellhole, the hatred that once filled me came back with full fucking force. yeah baby, i'm back!

but this is really an unneccessary post, just telling everyone that the bitch is back to stay. oh shit my friend just pulled out a real fucking knife and gave it to the teacher. thigs just took an interesting turn. woop woop

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

stupid france

yeah i'm in france and it's 30 degrees even during the nights and i'm already tan as fuck after being here for 2 days and i don't have to work or anything and the age limit of alcohol and tobacco is 16 so i shouldn't complain. but dear french people... WHY THE KISSING OF CHEEKS INSTEAD OF SHAKING HANDS????? feeling like a rapist, - herpes

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

end of rage?

today, i got my summer holiday after an eternity of slavery. two days ago, i got a boyfriend (wtf how i don't even). so you can understand that i'm not really in a hateful mood right now. although i can of course spontatniously come up with some things as usual!

i'll even make a list:

things i fucking hate

1. teachers - "i'll give you a higher grade if i'm in a good mood" oh haha mr you are so hilarious OH LOOK AT THAT YOU WEREN'T IN A GOOD MOOD WELL FUCK YOU

2. money/parent-relationships - i don't fucking care if my brother needs the money for his little "field trip" - i need that money now. we have food at home. and back in my days, i had to fucking go out and chase my own food. so stfu and gimme the money

3. people - oh yes, and this makes me really pissy. girl, you know who you are, and you know that i fucking love you to death, but DON'T. FUCKING. TAKE. YOUR. BAD. MOOD. OUT. ON. ME. OKAY? being stressed is not a fucking reason for shitting in my face.

(i know that you know this and you were stressed and as i said it's okay i just felt shitty and needed something to write about)

i'm gonna regret this post later but hey.. YOLO!!!!!!!! *killing myself for using that expression* 

okay bye, niggas and hoes, i'm gonna get drunk. on a tuesday. because i'm badass. and i have vacation. peace out or pass out (i'll do my best tonight)

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

school= seven crappy hours of our lives

okay so y'all know i've been sick, on the verge of death, and therefore have not been able to get up from my bed, let alone do all the fucking homework i've been drowning in. my teachers know this too and have given me more time to finish my assignments. thanks for that.

but when you tell me i have until THAT DAY to hand it in if i want it to be a part of my grade, and i haven't handed it in, you have to understand that i just couldn't be fucked doing it! and therefore i have deleted the shit i actually did from my computer, leaving me on square 1 again, since i really thought it was too late and ragequitted (as i do with basically everything in my life). 

so when you come up to me while i'm doing a test, just to tell me that i haven't handed in the shit i was supposed to have done (CAPTAIN OBVIOUS STRIKES AGAIN M'LADY), and tell me that i have two more days to do it... 

DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT I WILL START THE WHOLE SHIT FROM THE BEGINNING?

[keepcalmandhateeverything]

fake stupid donkey

i'm sorry i haven't spread my anger here in a while, i know it's as good therapy for you as it is for me! so i thought i would write something now while i'm waiting for my fucking parents to go to bed so i can smoke in my window. hopefully they will go soon because i get really dizzy when i'm tired and it's not the best to be sittin' in a window then i figure... well today's hatred goes to a fucking bitchy hoe-ass goatfucker...i hate her so much. and she will never find out. because if i told her - oh god how much i want to tell her and then spit in her face - i would put so many people in deep shit...so i will just have to satisfy myself with writing about that fake bitch here and hope that she reads it and realizes that it's meant for her. she'll probably be happy that this post is devoted to her though... you know them attentionwhores! i'll just tell you "gumman", that if you keep using people you call your friends the way you do, you will wake up one day and realize that you don't have anyone else to use! and wouldn't that just suck? no honey, my tip to you is to make some more friends and keep them for a longer time, without using them for a while! that way you'll have people you can use when the people who thought you were their friend wake up and realize that they're worth shit to you! and when they do, you obviously recieve the right to trash-talk them behind their back, so you can use the other stupid people AND make yourself feel better by trashing the others! then again, that's just my tip for you. here you have another one, also for free: go kill yourself! :) seriously, people like you disgust me. i'm far from perfect but if i ever scoop even near your level, i hope someone will be merciful and blow my head off. peace niggers. i'm out for a smoke. this shit got me all angry! fucking girls i hate you all