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HYULUKA *explodes*

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baby photos

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Playing with some colors and got carried away. The Knight in some situations.

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Mare "Please I'm begging you, give me a mission and get me out of this house and away from my toddlers" Molly Barrow gets sent on a mission with Cal "I'm telling you that we are not going to have fun because we are going to be stressed the whole time about the kids" Calore cause eh we haven't had a good relationship/marriage bonding mission since before Cori. The mission is very simple, they will be gone for a maximum of 2 days. Mare insists she will be fine, and that HE is going to be the problem.

1 hour into the flight there Mare turns to him and says "Don't be mad, but we have to turn around. I miss the kids and I don't trust Kilorn to handle them."

And Cal just looks at her like this: 😑

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Let me be slightly emo for a few moments

People will be like "oh you're autistic? Really? But you don't act that way" well unfortunately the autism manifests itself in things called 'weird tendencies' that u complain about

U won't be able to tell I'm autistic but you'll unconsciously leave me out of things and I have try so hard to get less respect than someone who does nothing gets. Even worse that I'm an introverted person so it takes even more effort to put myself out there. You know that thing about me interrupting people when they're talking, well I'm sorry that I do that but if I don't I will never be heard

Is this me complaining that everyone should treat me special just bcs I'm not normal? Hell no, not even like I want that in the first place. But god I have to put in so much effort to be even looked at

Conclusion: Being autistic and an introvert is the worst combination ever

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Idk when was the last time I posted on Tumblr

Sch rlly is doing a number on me

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[siren/pirate au] relationship chart

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Plushie GIVEAWAY 🤲✨️

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Here are the plushies 👇

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i will become your newborn christ.

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drew this to represent how I feel when I listen to Hyuna's voice

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I am lazy af...

Happy Maven, I am "little" obsessed with this little guy <3

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Place yourself at Her mercy

He is on his knees before her, his gaze locked on her shoes. It is not a position he is used to being in. It is not one he was made to be in.

But he needs her to understand, and this is the only way to get her to. To make himself vulnerable, to put himself at her feet, so that she knows it is not his ego forging the words to come but his grief and desperation.

“I-” His voice catches and his throat closes around the words. His vision slides, blurring at the edges. His heart hammers, shaking his ribcage. “I can't be what you want, or what you need me to be- I tried- But. I can’t- I can only be what they made me to be, no matter how hard I try, no matter how far I come, I just can't- I'm… I’m sorry...”

The words echo in his head, the admission of defeat ringing in his ears. He tried so hard to pull himself from that person, to strangle the crown prince until he quit moving. To hold him beneath the water until the bubbles slowly stopped rising to the surface. But every time he thought he had succeeded, his father's hands pressed against his shoulders, his face echoed and fractured in every reflection, and every step to a version of himself where his reflection was finally his own crumbled and the path tilted downwards. Back to that room. To that damned room, and that corpse ridden throne and that blood soaked crown. The crown he was built to long for, to wear straight into his grave. 

And the crown prince's heart begins beating again, his ribcage expanding with air.

He hears her sharp, almost ragged intake of breath before he sees her step forward and then suddenly her hand closes around his jaw, fingers digging into the muscle and bone. He feels the static of the lightning encased within her skin as she forces his face up, forcing him to meet her eyes. 

Forcing him to look her in the face as he truly and fully lets her down one final time.

But to his surprise the look in her eyes is unhinged and downright feral. She bares her teeth and suddenly it is no longer Mare Barrow before him. Not even the colder, harsher Mareena is reflected in her eyes. Instead the very embodiment of lightning itself stares down at him, clouds spiral and flashes of pale purple streak above them; “Then I will unravel and remake you myself”

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I love how ALNST portrays the coexistence of hate and love in the main relationships, just like those "Hatred is easier than a vague word such as love" photocards. And grief these characters have to go through and how they handle it because this series focuses on how people live on after they experience loss, in their own ways each of these standees represent that grief and the intricacies of their complicated relationships. All of my ships are divorced

I hope the mixed feelings Mizi has for Sua are elaborated on more in the future. Mizi had been almost, if not entirely, dependent on Sua in their time together. Sua was there to fill the gap of loneliness Shine left Mizi with after she was sent to Anakt garden alone. Sua taught her a lot and helped her study. Sua protected Mizi from the world and kept them safe in their bubble. She was someone who Mizi looked up to like her god; her faith in Sua and the love she had for her was like a religion. Sua was always there for her, and Mizi was happy to blindly follow her. And she left Mizi exposed and vulnerable like an abandoned fawn when suddenly, all of that was gone, and Sua was dead.

It would be interesting if it's confirmed that Mizi resented Sua after. In round 5, Luka's relentless taunting caused her to lash out, but Mizi wasn't angry at Luka; that anger, that despair, was her pouring out her feelings toward Sua because of Sua's death. After being taunted with the familiar comfort of Sua's presence, with the fact, that some of the happiness in Sua's smile could have been fake while she was unaware.

The thing is, Mizi and Sua had been the closest to each other for so long, but Mizi had little to no insight into who Sua really was or what she was really thinking. Other than some brief instances where she would perceive Sua, she knew Sua was a little quiet, probably a little gloomy, but didn't second guess her at all, knowing Sua wasn't mean to her. And she trusted in the fact that Sua didn't have bad intentions. Mizi could've never guessed that this would be the result, could never catch onto that emotional distance Sua had intentionally kept between them. When Mizi comes to an understanding that Sua knew what would happen all along. that's where the hurt stems from. Sua's actions, leaving Mizi in the dark and not being truly open, are a part of her coping mechanism/way of protecting herself. Sua wanted to shield Mizi so desperately, to shield her own heart from the fear of living aimlessly and in constant anxiety, that she had been content to die like this, to leave Mizi in this kind of disarray, even when she knew to some degree and was sad that her death could possibly subject Mizi to this kind of suffering, to having come to terms with those complicated feelings and it did crush Mizi as it all went down.

Mizi had the resilience to get back up and keep moving forward without Sua. As much as Mizi adored her, as much as she is making amazing progress in liberating herself from that past, who knows if she's moved from that yet, if she's forgiven Sua yet, the hurt from having been lied to for all that time. The betrayal of that trust Mizi had naively placed onto Sua, as if Mizi never even knew her in the first place. In some artworks, Sua is so distant from Mizi, even though they're always the most intimate, there is a clear disconnect as if Sua is a figment of Mizi's imagination, stagnant in the only way Mizi knew her, and she never changes. And Mizi suffers from the fact that she can't embrace that memory of Sua the way she used to. The standee similarly portrays this; Sua is simply hovering over her and watching in an eerie, enigmatic way. Yet Sua's presence is a comfort Mizi can't let go of even when it hurts that it isn't the same as it used to be. Even when the innocence of their bond is tainted by the understanding Mizi has now, she can't reject her. Mizi is nothing if not completely devoted to Sua, even to the end.

my ivantilll... my curevantill

Ivan and Till's push-pull, hate-love dynamic has been apparent even in childhood, and this standee says a lot about that dynamic, especially regarding round 6 obv. From Till's perspective, Ivan confused him, provoked him a lot, and fought with him a lot, but Ivan was also someone he considered a friend. Someone in his life that he cared about because despite their fighting they also shared quiet moments, Ivan was there for Till when it mattered (for comfort, even), where Till would've otherwise been alone, Ivan was always with him, those were memories Till would cherish even if he didn't show how much he cared to Ivan directly.

His despair going into round 6 wasn't just because of Mizi's disappearance, he hadn't expected he and Ivan would be in a position where they'd have to compete, and faced with the decision of having to either compete to win against his last friend, after losing all will to live, or to forfeit his own life, once he couldn't keep going anymore and stopped singing, Till had the intent to give up. Only for Ivan to make the final decision for him and forfeit his own life in such a brutal way right in front of Till. Even though there is little said about his perspective at the time as of now, To me, it seems like Till wanted to make that choice, but Ivan effectively yanked Till out of his own head to be bombarded with the confusing mix of gentleness and violence as the full force of Ivan's complicated feelings were thrown at him, and then to face the reality that Ivan is dead and he is alone.

Till has been oppressed by the aliens all his life, and he's always fighting them for the right to his agency and freedom. Till's anger comes from Ivan's selfishness in that moment -(How could you do that and just leave me behind? kind of sentiment), the way Ivan took away Till's choice in the situation, the one time he ever willingly withheld Till's freedom was because of an impulsive action that Till can't begin to understand, everything happened too fast, Ivan had no idea what he was doing either and was erratic with it. With that, the questions and the feelings Ivan left him to figure out on his own afterwards were too much for Till to confront after having averted his attention from them for the longest time, that's why the weight of Ivan's feelings, the reality of it all outside of Till's head, metaphorically and quite literally weigh on Till to the point of breaking him.

Ivan's affections and lesser acknowledged feelings for Till clash and often contradict himself. His hold on Till in the standee is gentle and not at all, all at the same time. It's so fascinating to me how it can look like Ivan is trying to be comforting in a very (Ivan-typical) pushy or forceful/hostile manner because he wants to show he cares, however, he has never been the best at expressing himself, and Till is sensitive, but far more prone to avoidance or biting back in response to confronting the vulnerability of his own emotions. Because of this, they misunderstood each other's intentions a lot in the past, and Till doesn't know what went on in Ivan's head when he did what he did, but that confusion scares Till. The way they're positioned with Ivan gripping Till so he's forced to face him and Till being frightened by what he sees, too angry and too shocked to properly express himself, they're two forces pushing and pulling at each other (almost like they're fighting, in my opinion. It's also a show of their complicated dynamic because of their fundamental misunderstanding of each other) Even Ivan's lack of expression to Till's reaction to him is interesting to me. Sure enough, he supports Till while he's collapsing and pushing back, but staring down on him in an odd way (much like that frame from blink gone with his face, it's intimidating and observant), Ivan was unconvinced his actions would impact Till. And now, he doesn't register Till's feelings in the moment. He's under the impression that Till can just "move on" after that, as if forcing Till to live on in his stead would really not shake him, as if all that time they used to spend together realistically could've possibly meant nothing to Till. This standee is so symbolic and just as confusing as them, and Till's waist is mesmerizing (gets shot)

HyuLuka's standee shows their dynamic so well; HyunA is avoidant and not facing Luka. Instead, she faces forward and looks past Luka the same way she does with everything that holds her back. To keep moving forward, she tried suppressing her emotions, avoiding confronting her past. She wants to move on. However, she's standing still and has a hand on Luka's head to silently comfort him (not even gripping his head, just resting her hand there) because, despite all of those years, after being forced to live on in her grief and her suffering, HyunA has grown, but she hadn't truly "moved on" from her past with Hyunwoo or Luka, until she met Mizi. Even though HyunA didn't want to face her past and those repressed emotions before, when she started coming to terms, she couldn't help but reach out like it's instinct, like she did when they were kids. because she can't help but still love and care for him, her revenge, albeit intentionally cruel, is also an example of this.

This also shows another instance of Luka's dependence on her; Luka clings to HyunA like a child, much like he always does. He doesn't acknowledge that HyunA has changed or how his actions could've affected her in childhood. Because he's utterly devoted to her and desperate for the comfort of knowing they are "together" always. Through what little scraps he can get to remind himself of her existence, like with those posters, and so he never grows out of his childish indifference as long as he can continue depending on her

HyunA's revenge is one effective torture method for Luka, because it's reiterated time and time again that she knows who luka is, she knows about all of this and took that comfort away from him in the most brutal way, so Luka can't deny it, because the truth is right in front of him. It's a big question of whether Luka can ever symbolically leave that "bird cage" and learn to live on his own without continuing to use HyunA as his coping mechanism. Depending on what Luka does with those final words she left him with, he can come to an understanding and agree to move forward or continue obsessively clinging to the only comfort he's known for years, just like he is in this standee

I also find it interesting how HyunA's role is set up in depictions like this (and I find that Hyuluka frame from sweet dream to be similar in a way), with the clear leverage she has over Luka, who doesn't care about the danger because he loves her so much more than he cares about himself, (Just like the way he does register the gun pressed to his head in wiege, but still moves towards HyunA) but she never does "kill" him even though she has the knife over his head (or in more symbolic ways, give in to the hatred she wants to feel for him) and she doesn't abandon Luka. Even though she has the choice to do both, she doesn't because she loves him. She can't stand to look at him smile at her cruelty, so she just stares at him with that vacant look that appears sometimes, like in All-in when she's experiencing ptsd and she can't even move until Mizi starts shooting at the robot guards, so she just absently stays. It really speaks to HyunA's nature. She's endlessly compassionate. She doesn't want to stop loving as a human because she can't stop loving.

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are there any characters you kin ? :3

This one I have thought way too long and hard about lol

Genshin-Citlali, the whole 'being above the rules of social etiquette' is so funny and somewhat relaatable, and I would also stay at home and read light novels all day if I could (unfortunately unlike Citlali I am no genius)

R1999-37, guess who also forgets to comb their hair and eat food in favour of doing some other thing and yes math is my favourite subject (though same thing I'm definitely not as intelligent as 37)

Honestly most of the characters I kin tend to have a pattern of 1. Being introverts, 2. General disregard to the surrounding world and 3. Having autistic headcanons (idk if Citlali is hced as autistic though) what does this say about me

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If your 13 or older and still sleep with a stuffed animal please rb this im tryna prove a point to my friend.

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