kestrelsparverius

[kestrelsparverius]

Okay so there's these two brothers who are both into cosplay and decide it would be fun to do a cosplay together, going as characters who are also brothers. Having suggested a handful to each other, both agree on making a cosplay as Boromir and Faramir to attend an upcoming convention.

And at the con they happen to make aquaintance with another two-person team of cosplayers, who are also brothers in real life and had had the exact same idea, except that they had decided on cosplaying Thor and Loki respectively. And they make friends bonding over this. Like an hour later the one cosplaying Boromir and the one dressed as Loki notice that their brothers are both missing, and neither one is answering their phone or even reading messages. So they come to the conclusion that whatever they're busy with, they're probably together.

They do end up finding the missing brothers, who were indeed being busy together, with Faramir sucking Thor cosplayer's dick. So things kind of get awkward after that, and the two brother pairs agree to go their respective ways.

The con is a three-day event and on the morning of the second day, by 10 am Faramir is fucking gone again. He has somehow found another Thor cosplayer to suck off. When asked about it, he shrugs and says that it just happened. And as they say, once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern. And by the time his brother had found a fourth dude cosplaying Thor, the brother cosplaying Boromir is starting to get seriously pissed off.

He's not even mad about the dick-sucking. He knows his brother. He knows that he's got a type. He's not mad about his brother being into buff long-haired blond guys, or about him blowing through the entire goddamn convention like a fellatio tornado. It's the way that his brother keeps acting like this is some kind of a coincidence, like he just keeps stumbling upon random Thor cosplayers who just happened to be looking to get their dicks sucked. It's the dishonesty of it all that's pissing him off. So now, Boromir has to put his foot down, and he says:

"One does not simply 'walk into' more Thors."

[kestrelsparverius]

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

[kestrelsparverius]

Honestly, if you're a kid and an adult tells you "they're just trying to get a reaction out of you :)" as a response to being told that some younger kid is tormenting you, that should count as full permission to punt that little shit. Like I would never hit a child, but if you're seven years old and a five-year-old is being a cunt at you and adults just tell you "oh they just want to find out what happens if they keep doing that", wouldn't only be fair to let them know what happens if they keep doing that?

Siblings should never be left responsible of raising each other, but if adults have decided that they are allowed to fuck around, wouldn't it only be your right - or even downright duty - to let them consequently find out?

[kestrelsparverius]

[kestrelsparverius]

happy birthday to everyone’s favorite problem 💜

[kestrelsparverius]

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

[kestrelsparverius]

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

[kestrelsparverius]

i hope luigi mangione is proven innocent & gets to sue a ton of companies for slander and win & i hope he gets enough money to rebuild his life and get any help for his chronic pain that he needs & i hope he’s able to disappear from the public eye entirely if that’s what he wants

[kestrelsparverius]

writing is just legally sanctioned dissociation with extra steps

[kestrelsparverius]

[kestrelsparverius]

and what are we going to do when the HP series comes out and we start seeing a resurgence of the fandom here including gifsets and fics. like are u guys gonna bring up your neurodivergence and cry "can we separate the art from the artist!!!!! you dont need to pay to watch it!!!!!its my comfort show and I'm DEPRESSED and AUTISTIC"

what then

[kestrelsparverius]

It’s insane to me that Dragon Age 2 is sandwiched in between two WAY HUGER and WAY MORE SUCCESSFUL games about more traditional fantasy protagonists facing off against world ending threats and winning and it’s this…weird, raw, personal tragedy about how no matter what you do, you can’t always stop crisis and disaster from occurring. Like The Hero or Ferelden, no matter who they were, wants to stop a Blight. The Inquisitor wants to repair the sky. And Hawke, like, wants to make some money, hang around their friends, and keep their family and their adoptive city safe. And they can’t even fucking do that, so unlike the heroes before and after them. You spend seven years in Kirkwall until the game says, “yeah, no matter what, the prejudices and traumas and hurts of this world are Too Much for one person to stop them. The world changes, wars roll over the land, you cannot stop history, Hawke. You tried. You failed.” And then you just sit there, sixteen years old, listening to “I’m Not Calling You A Liar” and you’re like….well, I guess I really wasn’t a hero. Damn. I love it.

[kestrelsparverius]

does anybody even remember this game

fenris with longer hair for those who do

.

done in clip studio paint ex | tap for a better quality !!!

[kestrelsparverius]

You know what I really love about Fenris? He's a character who is incredibly good at apologising and taking responsibility for his behaviour. Like. I feel we forget this side of him because of the way he can be antagonistic towards the other Fan Favourite Anders, but when he goes too far when it comes to Hawke he always seeks them out to apologise? Like. He says 'what has magic touched that it hasn't ruined' and has that outburst but (romance or not) comes to Hawke later when he's calmed down to apologise? He snaps at Hawke if Hawke takes in Orana but when Hawke corrects him he doesn't continue to lash out or anything. He storms out of the mansion when you first meet but he's waiting outside. He's actually INCREDIBLY good at removing himself from situations when they're triggering to take a breather, look at his actions and then see if he has anything he needs to make up for or if he acted correctly in the heat of the moment. And he's introspective! He goes to the Gallows for the first time and his worry isn't 'shit mages are here' but it's 'Hawke and Hawkes friends are here and that poses a danger to them'. He then contemplates the mages there and whether they are right to be treated that way. Like! He's a good boy who thinks about his actions! And takes time to parse himself and work out who he needs to be? When he sleeps with romanced!Hawke for the first time, he removes himself from the situation when he realises that its too much for him? That takes INCREDIBLE strength, to look at someone you love and want to be with and say 'this isn't healthy for me right now'. Like! Whskflrl I disagree with him on a shit ton of things but also I love that funky elf boi with my whole heart he's really out there trying to actualize his best self at every turn and doing an AMAZING job of it despite the crazy circumstances he finds himself in

[kestrelsparverius]

Cassandra: You’re extremely crude and unprofessional.

Varric: I’d like that on my tombstone, please.

[kestrelsparverius]

Cassandra: can you PLEASE tell me where Hawke is?

Varric, actively texting Hawke: who's Hawke?

[kestrelsparverius]

No wait, random worldbuilding idea:

A people who have an age-old tradition, that when warriors left home to go to war, their family that remains home prepare funeral goods for them while they wait, sewing them the clothes and preparing the tools and all that they will be buried with - to emotionally prepare them to the hard possibility that the one who left will not return home alive. If the warrior returns, their burial goods are all burned in a bonfire that is lit for the celebration of their return.

And to this modern day, mothers of the culture will tell their children "fine, but let me take your measures for burial clothes before you go" as a way of telling them that something they're about to do is lethally stupid. Sharing stories about just how dramatic their mothers are, someone tells their group of friends that his mother once actually took out a measuring tape to start taking his measures when he said he's leaving home for a work trip.

And another one goes "pfft, yeah. This one time I went to a rock concert and came back home to mom sitting on her sewing machine, fucking making me a funeral coat."