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knowledge long forgotten

got really into reading item descriptions on this playthrough. anyway did you know the silent princess is one of the only raw materials with a cooking effect to not explicitly list that effect in its description

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Rewatching Apothecary Diaries and remembering how much I love these dorks

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nami and her tangerines 🍊

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from a photo

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Analyzing the "frog" scene without shipping goggles on:

What went wrong there was a rare misunderstanding and desyncronization between Jinshi and Maomao.

Maomao saw and understood the danger of knowing Jinshi's secret and gave him an out to not tell her. They've actually done this a few times where he's willing to tell her something, let her be in the know and for some reason she doesn't feel comfortable/that it would be appropriate for her to outright refuse, so she gives him an out.

Maomao was basing her "it's a frog!" deflection off of their established dynamic. They have an understanding based on having done this song and dance before that when she gives an excuse Jinshi backs off.

But Maomao underestimated the situation.

She was acting like this was salt in alcohol and a guy she never met who'd died, or the fine details or final outcome of the case she provides evidence/support/clarity to in another concubine's palace or a nobleman's house or any detail of prior "cases" they'd worked on together.

Each time in the past Jinshi was merely puzzled at her curiosity fizzling out when she'd been so dogged in finding out the truth, but let her drop the thread at the finishline so she can maintain plausible deniability and stay out of things. He only cared about her knowing insofar as he personally wouldn't be able to just not find out.

This time though, it's personal.

More than being personal though, Jinshi desperately WANTS Maomao to know. Before the hunt he speaks with Gaoshun about it, wakes up in the night and ends up curled on the floor, shaking, thinking of how unbearable this secret is and how much he wants Maomao in particular to know.

Jinshi is VERY alone and has VERY few people to support him and he trusts Maomao enough he wants to bring her fully in to help him, but he's also struggling hard with how and when to tell her.

He thinks for a moment that the uncomfortable accidental groping has been a slight bit of good fortune by bringing it to the forefront and given proof and pushed past the most awkward admission: "actually, I DO have an intact dick". He's literally in the middle of the next part of the conversation he's been working up to when Maomao stops him with that ridiculous frog excuse.

For the first time he pushes it. Like, really keeps trying to tell her instead of letting her walk away from the conversation. But Maomao doubles down and pushes him back in return and insults him by calling his dick tiny and slimy and gross - and Jinshi might not be super fond of the fact his looks are one of his greatest assets, but hes PROUD of himself.

He's also very much a man, very much has to hide that all the time, and just when he's trying to be open with someone he trusts, he's getting shut down.

Maomao is NOT LISTENING TO HIM. She was making a joke just when he was most desperate for truth and honesty.

He gave using words and insisting and all the tricks he's learned to deal with Maomao more respectfully with since they met, but that fails and he still wants so, SO badly to tell her that he then moves to non-verbal ways of communicating.

And Jinshi has been drowning in the intrigues of the harem - has been mostly isolated in a place where proof of being a man is a dick and having sex with women.

What, with that understanding and in an upset mindset, is the most expedient way to unambiguously telegraph "I'm a man, not a eunuch" in that scenario?

Exactly what he did, shove her down, lift her leg up and put them in a blatantly sexual position with himself firmly in the dominant male role.

He got pushed too far, just as Maomao thinks to herself.

This moment comes with the context that he's recently had to pretend to be a heavenly woman, has been pretending to be a eunich for years in the harem, has been covering his face and playing a different role of Kohen, and has the persona of whoever he was claiming to be at the ceremony Maomao saved him from being crushed at - AND he's just nearly been assassinated.

Jinshi was at his limit and Maomao failed to see that.

I don't think he meant any kind of assault with it - though if he'd done this with anyone but Maomao they would have taken it that way I'm sure - and once they were in the position things got a bit heated, but I'm fairly certain Jinshi's main motive in this:

Was only to make Maomao stop talking and listen and demonstrate in the most unambiguous way he knew how "I'm a fully functional man". Eunuchs don't do this to women. Men do.

Maomao wonders if she should kick him, yeah, but there isn't any urgency or fear there. She's thinking along the lines of "oh shit", but not in fear, in a kind of regret because she failed to realize how unsteady Jinshi was and is realizing just how far she pushed him.

I'm pretty sure she got it too. That she understood not just that he's a man, but that Jinshi's intent was to say with actions what she was refusing to let him tell her with words. I think the wondering if she should kick him was wondering if that would break the ice and get them back to a conversational place or if that would anger and upset him further, not her fearing for herself. We see her fearing for herself a few times in the series and Maomao wasn't scared of Jinshi here or what he would do and she isn't scared of him after.

Mostly she's just dumbfounded and shocked in the moment.

In-context I think this is actually far tamer than it appears.

It's just a bit of frustrated nonverbal communication between two people FAR too immersed in a highly sexualized world, and one that actually works. Maomao denies it after and stubbornly thinks of frogs, but the message is received.

The almost-kiss is the part I think is the actual dubious bit.

That was Jinshi getting carried away and a bit heated and going too far. That was the real moment Maomao kinda flinched - she closes her lips as he gets near enough it might happen and her hand grips the stone like she's thinking of doing something at that point. She doesn't push him away or fight him (and she most interestingly never gets angry at the shove, leg lift or the almost-kiss - only for her original objection of him giving her info she doesn't feel comfortable with yet), but she definitely wasn't welcoming that kiss either. From the hand motion I think she would have shoved him if he'd done more than the chaste kiss it seemed like he was going in for.

And that was clearly going to be chaste. Jinshi also closes his lips just before he was going to kiss her, so I think he intended to keep it brief and the motive for it was more of an on the fly decision to try to get through to her that he liked her with a kiss since they were already in that intimate, revealing position - striking while the iron was hot.

The dog interrupts before we get to see how that would have played out - and Maomao is understandably relieved to be out of it without having to have her relationship with Jinshi fundamentally changed the way a kiss or conversation would have forced it to be.

But if it had happened I think the most plausible reaction would be her just staying still for a brief kiss, then asking him what he thinks he's doing when he pulls back and then them actually talking. Maomao could have shoved him off, but I don't think she would have - at that point she knew Jinshi was not in a joking around slapstick mood to be teased, so she would have taken him seriously.

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PERCABETH GREY STREAKS IN 2027!

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Lover boy🌹

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no smooch! 😠

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dorks

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a moment of tranquility

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after snow