khristinewriteandcapture

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Life Entry #1

Yesterday, April 2, 2025, I got diagnosed with bilateral polycystic ovarian morphology.

I think I already knew years ago but never really had the chance to check with the doctor and get the actual checkup and laboratory. Maraming beses na akong nagplano na magpacheckup, pero somehow, hindi ko tinutuloy kasi siguro at the back of my mind, alam ko na ang magiging resulta. In denial, kumbaga.

Kaya pala ganito ang katawan ko. Sobrang bilis magbago ng mood ko. Kasi ang mga symptoms ng magkakaroon ng regla, buntis, at may PCOS ay halos magkakapareho lang.

Marami na akong nabasa regarding PCOS. Diet plans, exercise routines, vitamins to take—pero ang pinakang nakakuha ng pansin ko is walang cure ang PCOS. It's one of those diseases na parang cancer na walang cure. And up until now, grabe pa din ang stigma sa PCOS saying na psychological illness lang yan ng babae na dapat mag-exercise at wag matakaw. Or dahil sa ayaw mong sundin ang natural flow ng buhay at uminom ka ng birth control pills, PCOS ang ibibigay sayo, which is all bullshit and typical Filipino mentality.

Hindi ko pa lubos maisip na may PCOS nga ako, pero kagabi I end up crying myself to sleep for the possibility of infertility. Alam kong ayoko pa magkaanak, but after meeting my partner and dreaming of a life and a family with him, it just makes me sad. We began to blame ourselves dahil sa resulta ng lab ko. Siya, sabi niya kasalanan niya kasi nagtake daw ako ng pills para hindi muna mabuntis, and me, blaming myself kasi hindi ko inalagaan ng maayos ang sarili ko.

Dapat talaga mandatory na ang ganitong mga checkups hindi lang sa kababaihan pero para sa lahat. We should be aware of what's going on inside our body; kesa naman magsisi tayo kung kailan huli na ang lahat.

These may be the start of my journey as a PCOS girly, and I was thinking of documenting it here kasi less judgement. Ayokong makaattract ng mga paepal sa comment section na ang habol lang ay makialam sa buhay ng iba kasi wala silang magawa habang nakahiga sa kama nila. Hahahaha

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Even the strongest souls get exhausted — A Gentle Reminder by Bianca Sparacino

[khristinewriteandcapture]

There are a lot of things that a person can learn about love.

Being in love is easy. But staying in love...That's when the hardest part start.

Someone told me that love is a choice. You either fight for it or just let go.

Because the real love start when you no longer feel the butterflies, fireworks and even the sparks that you felt when you first fall in love and that's okay. We choose to be in love and it's also our choice to stay in love.

It can be hard staying in love especially when everything points to the direction of letting go.

You just have to remember why you fall in the first place.

Love is a complicated world. Some even went crazy for it but some found a love that lasted for a lifetime.

I hope we all find the love that will make us not regret choosing it everyday. Find the love worth staying for.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Life at mid twenties feels like high school again. You only have few friends that you never get to gather. They already have a life without you and the world will not stop just because you feel bored and alone.

Sure, you got a boyfriend but he also has a life outside the relationship.

So, now you really feel alone.

You have hobbies but somehow, you also get bored with that. You can have all the me-time you want but it makes you kinda...sad.

You have a job and weekends are for washing the clothes you will use again for the next week.

Life at mid twenties feels like...nothing is happening but at the same time everything is going as fast as it could.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

After watching so many series and dramas, I forgot to make a review every time (not that anyone is waiting for it). Been living life lately even though barely hanging on but still, living is living no matter how...weird you do it.

Anyway, I'm planning to write again (again, not that anyone is waiting but this is a message for myself).

Life lately has been very challenging.

I bought a phone last January but it got stolen last month and I'm still paying for it but life goes on and I'm still planning to buy again because we are a reckless individual with a right budgeting plan. Cellphone these days are already part of the needs of human. How can we contact anyone in case of emergency right?

I kinda miss talking to myself whenever I write something here. There's a lot of list of series and dramas that are already waiting to be reviewed.

Halfway through the year and yet still figuring out how to make this year worth it.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

When I was writing the Fortnight music video, I wanted to show you the worlds I saw in my head that served as the backdrop for making this music.  Pretty much everything in it is a metaphor or a reference to one corner of the album or another. For me, this video turned out to be the perfect visual representation of this record and the stories I tell in it. Post Malone blew me away on set as our tortured tragic hero and I’m so grateful to him for everything he put into this collaboration. I’m still laughing from getting to work with the coolest guys on earth, Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles (tortured poets, meet your colleagues from down the hall, the dead poets). I still can’t believe I get to work with the unfathomably brilliant Rodrigo Prieto on cinematography and my team of dream collaborators: Ethan Tobman (production design), Chancler Haynes (editor), Anthony Dimino (1st AD), Jil Hardin (producer) and Dom Thomas (executive producer). Parliament aced the VFX as always. Joseph Cassell, Lorrie Turk and Jemma Muradian made these tortured looks come to life. The entire crew made this a dream to shoot. Thank you to everyone involved and everyone who has watched it!! https://taylor.lnk.to/FortnightMV

[khristinewriteandcapture]

2024 by far has been...full of drama?

I know my life is full of drama, but sometimes I just want to avoid it and just clear my mind.

Misunderstanding has been made. I made the wrong choices. They got disappointed. They cried because I became distant and thought I was angry at them, but no. Now, I have to make lambing(?) to them because of they way I talk to them (somehow I looked and sounded angry when my voice got louder and my eyes involuntary got bigger, ) but I'm not.

I'm already tired from the commute to work and back home. They expect me to be full of life when I get home, which is close to impossible.

I just want some peace in my life.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Series Reviews (2023)

1. The Good Bad Mother

Director: Shim Na Yeon Writer: Bae Se Yeong Genre: Comedy, Life, Drama, Family Starring: Ra Mi ran, Lee Do Hyun, Ahn Eun Jin Rate: 5/5 ⭐

After a devastating event leaves an ambitious prosecutor with childlike mentality, he and his mother are forced to go on a quest to mend their relationship.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Life at Mid Twenties

Naalala ko noong bata pa ako, excited na akong tumanda kasi kapag matanda ka na, lahat pwedeng mangyari.

Sabi nga nila, be careful what you wish for. Parang sa isang iglap lang, nag fast forward ang time machine at nandito na ako sa pinapangarap ko pero hindi pala ganon kasaya. Hindi pala pwedeng mangyari lahat katulad ng iniisip ko noon.

Yes, may diploma na, stable job, regular income, relationship na alam ng buong angkan pero bakit ganito pa din?

Bakit parang kulang pa?

Kailan ba makukuntento ang isang tao? Bakit kung kailan nakuha niya na ang gusto niya pero kulang pa din?

Hindi naman kasi talaga nakukuntento ang tao. Hanggat may bagay na wala sa kanila, gugustuhin niya ito.

Paano nga ba makuntento?

Hindi ko alam kung quarter life crisis na ito or sadyang paranoid lang ako. Stuck sa isang loop na walang exit. Walang patutunguhan. Paulit ulit lang.

How I wish life has a manual or instruction o kahit map man lang pero hindi naman ganun ang buhay.

I know I have to be patient at hope for the best of what's yet to come.

I know I have to have faith in life.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we wanted it to be. We will eventually get to the best part but first we must experience all the bad ones.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

sa lahat ng uso, bakit trangkaso pa talaga ang sinabayan ko? ngayon, gusto ko lang magpababy sa baby ko kaso hindi pwede kasi may work siya at dukha lang kami.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Movie Reviews 2023

Last Night In Soho (2021)

Genre: psychological thriller

Director: Edgar Wright

Cast: Thomasin McKenzie, Anya Taylor-Joy, Matt Smith

Taking a trip to the dreamy past of an aspiring star turned to horror as the events unveiled the secrets it holds.

Eloise Turner or Ellie (Thomasin McKenzie) is a fashion designer students who loves everything about the 60's. Arriving in London and dreaming of becoming one of the tier designer. While coping with the overwhelming life of London, she finds herself dreaming of someone from the 60's as well. Entering the muse of her art, she met Sandie (Anya-Jay Taylor) which in her dreams, was appearing to be her.

Dreams are harmless because you can just forget about it when you wake up but that's not the case for Ellie. This psychological horror-thriller movie will leave everyone in awe, confused, and somehow sympathetic on how life should be live.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

breakdown sa gitna ng work. depressed pero bayad.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

lahat tayo pagod na

[khristinewriteandcapture]

““Love isn’t only love, sweetheart. It’s hard work, and trust, and tears, with even a few glimpses of devastation. But at the end of each day, if you can still look at the person at your side and can’t imagine anyone else you’d rather have there, the pain, the heartache and the ups and downs of love are worth it.” - Nicole Williams”

—

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Nagdecide ako na magventure sa new experience pero eto ako, medyo nag aalangan kung tama ba tong desisyon na ginawa ko sa buhay ko. May matino ba talaga akong nagawa sa buhay ko? Magbebreak down ba ako sa kalagitnaan ng office hours? Hmmm.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Hindi ko na alam ano ang dapat gawin. Gusto ko na lang mawala ulit. Pwede bang magpahinga at magrestart?

[khristinewriteandcapture]

As I encountered couple who were together for many years, they always say na..

"kapag tumagal kayo, hindi na kayo ganyan."

"magsasawa din kayo sa isat-isa."

"Sa una lang naman masaya yan."

Somehow, nalulungkot ako sa perspective nila. Sobrang lungkot na nang mundo kaya naman mas okay na maging masaya at ma-appreciate natin kahit yung maliliit na bagay.

This may be a little cringe to others but why cant we just love love?

Or siguri masaya lang ako kaya nasasabi ko ito, siguro nga mangyayari din sa amin ang sinasabi ng iba pero habang wala pa yun, hindi ko muna yun iisipin.

Live in thr moment.

Masyado na akong nastuck sa past at nag ooverthink sa future kaya, ang mahalaga ay kung ano ang meron ngayon.

Hays.

Nagugutom na ako. Wala pa kasi yung order namin kaya kung anu-ano ang naiisip ko.

Ok bye.