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One guard lies. One guard tells the truth. One guard thinks he's telling the truth but operates from deeply unsound epistemological principles that were inculcated by his elders to steer him to specific predefined conclusions, he's not lying but nothing he says is as actionable as he thinks it is. One guard is honest but he's got that thing where he keeps confusing your left and right with his left and right, and even when it's just him he's always got to stop and think for a second to remember which is which, and long story short he's never once said the correct door on the first try. One guard says whatever the first guard to speak says because he's afraid of being left out. One guard claims the opposite of whoever was first to speak because he's a contrarian. One guard does that fuckass postmodern "what is truth" song and dance because he doesn't actually know which door is the correct one, he lost the briefing packet and for obvious reasons he can't pick a door to check in person. Defeats the whole point if you can come back

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no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

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Wishing all BDSM kinksters some restrained summer fun this season

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Is that a valid argument in your pants or is it just a phallacy?

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"Top or bottom?" I say we wrestle and do whatever feels good????

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Because sometimes we all just need to see a guy head-bump a beautiful Beluga whale

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attending nyc gay pride 2007, photography by efrain john gonzalez

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Fucking owned this goofster

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everyone needs a creative outlet to stick a creative fork into

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Conceptual art furniture by Ai Weiwei at Seattle Art Museum, 2025

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Hey here's some unsolicited decor advice: get a bowl. put it on your coffee table. fill it with objects that are Good To Hold. Watch your guests be satisfied.

For example, I have this bowl of polished rock orbs. (and one glass ball.) they serve no purpose but everyone who comes into my home picks up at least one of them and just kinda rolls it around in their hands.

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change does not come from a place of comfort

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the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

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narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

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