kirilune

[kirilune]

I think about ! Kaoru a lot and aeough, he's so messed up, like not just his behaviour which makes him so hard to read in that era.

He's so goddamn lonely. He misses his mom, so he's chasing girls because he's trying to find "love," but he's conflated platonic/familial love with romantic love. So he's going after girl after girl looking for something he won't find, so nothing sticks. That idea about conflating all types of love actually comes up in the Sandstorm epilogue when one of the twins brings up Kaoru recognising the difference between love and romance.

He's also not that close with his family in !, which idk how close they are now in !! but I think in Sandstorm he mentions that their relationship has improved with them now that they don't live together. He's closer to his sister and his worry about her marriage (Bridal or whatever the photoshoot one is called, Wanted, whatever the Sustain Memories story is called) goes thru !!

But in Aquarium, he laments to Kanata how he feels separated from his family and they always use honorifics with each other. Kanata then offers to give Kaoru a nickname, and in another fun ! Kaoru behaviour, he recoils and says he doesn't want that. He's so fucking lonely but also doesn't want to get close to anyone and I don't think that's just 'I only care about girls' thing.

His relationships with girls are very superficial because you know, looking for something he won't find but I also think he probably gets afraid of getting close and attached. He does mention taking girls to the beach which is something he truly loves, but in other stories (Wanted I think), he mentions how he reads shit he doesn't care about because a lot of girls like it and he wants to practise claw machines to impress girls and win them prizes.

I'm sure the looming threat of once Yumenosaki is over, he'll have to go back to the livehouse/Hakaze business because that's what the agreement was with his dad. He can fuck around for a bit and then has to go back to what his dad wants. And in Sandstorm, he mentions that when he made his decision to be an idol, he was fully prepared and expecting to be disowned, which didn't happen but the mental toll of that isn't great. He also feels a lot of guilt that his siblings don't get the freedom he's gotten and that his fucking around comes at their expense even now.

I know it's hehe haha to be like internalised homophobia Kaoru Hakaze, but the way his grief (and not just for his mom's death) is consuming him makes me go aeough and I think Surfing Ocean may be the story where he recognises that he's being destroyed by grief but idk I may just like that story a lot.

[kirilune]

weirdo on my porch claiming he's human🤨

[kirilune]

Verdict

Ibara Saegusa x fem!reader

summary: Ibara Saegusa is someone people close to him would describe as ‘emotionally constipated’. His unit mates’ sentiment on the matter, however, is challenged after witnessing his odd behavior around CosPro’s new lady producer.

word count: 2.1k words

warnings: none~

published: 5/4/25

author’s note: Aha! My latest hyperfixation 🥰 I love Ibara and all of Eden so much!! But truthfully I’ve got only a basic understanding of them since I’m still in the process of reading through all the stories from both eras 🥲 so if there’s any misinterpretations or mischaracterization, I’d like to apologize in advance. Please let me know if you want more Enstars fics! my requests are still open~ Enjoy! ⭐️

It was a pleasant midday in Ensemble Square. For those in Cosmic Production, the day felt rather slow and mundane when compared to their usual hectic work hours.

Many of the major seasonal events had either passed or were in their planning stages, making the past few weeks feel like a downtime to the idols particularly.

Within one of the CosPro headquarters’s many periodically unoccupied meeting rooms sat the agency’s golden child and leader of Eden, Nagisa Ran, who was peacefully passing his free time arranging the precious stones and minerals he’d accumulated from his excavations.

The silent soul reached for a stone across the adorned, bejeweled desk, examining its properties against the light that shone through the room’s expansive windows.

A reflection projected by the glass, however, split Nagisa’s attention. He set his stone back into the organized pile before him and he let his eyes travel across the see-through glass installations to the office area directly outside the room, catching a clearer view the scene unfolding.

“I noticed… Ibara’s been staring at her.” He muttered his mental processes aloud.

The sudden utterance—especially of such an intriguing allegation, caught the pair that made up Eve’s interest instantly.

“At who?“ Jun, who was seated next to Hiyori at the opposite end of the extensive table, sharply turned to his senior. His tone and expression made it seem as if he was unreasonably aggravated, though Nagisa knew better.

“Ibara has?” Hiyori bounced and chimed in, peeking from beside Jun to infer.

Nagisa signaled them to turn the same direction as his gaze. They obliged, and like their leader implied, their group’s producer and fellow member, Ibara indeed occupied the adjacent office area.

Ibara simply stood against a cubicle divider with his usual polished stature alongside two other employees who shared his space.

At first glance, it would appear that the trio were all actively contributing to the discussion they were having, however, if one would take a prolonged moment to observe, it was clear that one of the three was staying out of the conversation. And to their surprise, the silent member was their self-proclaimed “socializer”.

“Ibara hasn’t spoken since I began watching him.” Nagisa relayed.

Ibara’s attention seemed to be fully fixated on the woman across from him. Though he maintained his routine business posture, his performative smile lacked the sharpness it usually carried. Even when his smile never reached his eyes, it was apparent, at least to the other members of Eden, that his demeanor felt irregular, to say at the least.

Jun blinked, having difficulty articulating his thoughts while scrutinizing the interaction, “Is he tryna—is she his type… or something?”

Hiyori shuddered, face contorting to one of displeasure as he faintly tugged at Jun’s sleeves, “You’re too trusting Jun! She’s the new producer, it’s obvious he’s sizing her up—ah! How pitiful~”

Unfazed by Hiyori’s theatrics, Jun continues, “She must be skilled enough to get into CosPro as a producer. Knowing Ibara, he won’t allow to be threatened in his own turf.”

“How heartless, that Viper gives me more reasons to disapprove of him everyday! Warui hiyori…” Hiyori pouts with tears seeping into his waterline, he sobs into his hand.

The pair eventually return to whatever task they’ve bestowed upon themselves before Nagisa’s interruption. But Nagisa’s eyes lingered, his curiosity keen on analyzing his partner’s intentions.

Hiyori and Jun posed a fair assumption, Nagisa acknowledged. Though he had to dispute their claims even despite their credibility. Somehow, he felt this instance was really one of its kind.

The look Ibara was subjecting the lady to was one Nagisa has never particularly seen his unit-mate display in the open, most especially toward someone he’s presumably never met.

What is normally a glare of imposing superiority, arrogance, or judgement was instead replaced by a gaze that unveiled the hidden softness deep within Ibara’s jagged, distorted mindscape.

He appeared murky, a glossed-over version of his usual self, Nagisa could tell. It couldn’t be from the lack of rest he’d often hear Ibara complain about when he’s reaching his limit. All things considered, Eden was more unoccupied than they’ve ever been these past few weeks. Ibara’s even had time to prep and cook all 3 of Nagisa’s daily meals recently, so fatigue can’t possibly be the cause.

Curious.

He continued to observe Ibara even after this initial encounter, and it gradually became apparent that interactions like these became more commonplace.

Like Hiyori mentioned, the woman was indeed a new staff member employed as an idol producer. He figured that being in the same position as Ibara, it was only natural she should train under him—the top, most influential producer in their company. And he was right to assume that. More and more of Ibara’s hours were dedicated to guiding her, which made this self-imposed operation all the more plausible.

And so Nagisa, roping in Hiyori and Jun, took this arrangement as an opportunity to investigate further. Perhaps this operation would keep him occupied until a new rush of idol work will come their way, he thought. So for now, he declared this mission is of Eden’s highest priority!

Days have passed since they decided to uptake this charge. Within the timeframe, little interaction between them and Ibara took place, well at least for Hiyori.

Among Eden, Hiyori had been receiving more work and so he found himself frequenting their office less. But today, he figured he’d visit to check up on their agenda’s progress for the lack of anything better to accomplish.

Hiyori turned a corner to meet with Nagisa at their usual spot when he caught Ibara and the lady producer entering an elevator. He rushed, as discreetly as his shining being could, to the nearest wall to watch them at a closer distance.

He saw Ibara hold out the door for her before entering himself and navigating the elevator controls before curiously stepping out himself and sheepishly waving her goodbye even after the doors slided shut.

Sheepishly.

It was unmistakable.

He was like a lovesick adolescent, all with his palm behind his nape, a bashful gummy smile, and hands jittering.

Ibara Saegusa, the tyrannical mastermind that Hiyori grew to despise for all his shameless faults, was.

“What is going on?” Hiyori shrieked at himself, truthfully stumped at what he just witnessed.

It just doesn’t make sense in Hiyori’s head. What would Ibara gain from buttering up to her? If this was one of the snake’s new schemes he’s executing it frighteningly well, he thought. As far as Hiyori’s knowledge goes, she was really a fresh idol producer with truthfully nothing tied to her name, so what was all of this for?

“Ohii-san, please keep it down.” Jun brought a saucer holding a teacup up to Hiyori, setting it before the man who was sprawled on the plush office seat, defeated and winded after he recounted what he had seen to his two companions.

Jun slumped down the seat across Hiyori, running his hand over his mouth, “There’s no way—“

Hiyori leaped out of his seat with a surge of energy, stomping at the ground, “You doubt my judgment, Jun!?”

“Please give me some grace—it’s hard to believe, is all.” Jun sighed.

“Have you noticed anything, Jun?” Nagisa joined, kneeling by the coffee table to level with them.

“Actually…” Jun grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

“Yes, Jun! You must have!” Hiyori cried, bending over in anticipation.

Jun recounted an exchange he had with both Ibara and the new producer. He detailed that the day prior to this, Ibara had pulled him aside to discuss his next activities. While they conversed, the woman in question appeared and smoothly entered their conversation.

Ibara wasn’t necessarily acting differently, Jun explained. However, it was when their conversation ended when he picked up on an irregularity.

“Iba-kun.”

“Iba-kun?” Hiyori and Nagisa tilted their heads.

“She called him Iba-kun.” Jun said it plainly, but one could notice the color draining from his face.

Hiyori’s breathing became panic-stricken, he yelped an unholy shout of despair.

Nagisa merely hummed. “They’re already on a first-name basis.”

“A-and he didn’t correct her?” Hiyori whimpered as Jun replied with a shake of his head.

“Ibara went silent after she called him that, then she said sorry afterward, but Ibara didn’t accept it. He just changed the subject.”

Jun continued, describing how Ibara even laughed it off. But his laugh was one that sounded fundamentally different. Usually, he keeps the toughness and grit that his voice would carry as a performative element to his businessman persona’s pleasantries. However, this laugh was hearty, light, unfamiliar to anything Jun had heard in his years of knowing the man.

“There’s no denying. There’s something there.”

They all sigh.

Jun bumps his fist into the table, “Ok, no. We have to confront him.”

“We have practice as Eden later today, we should ask him then.” Nagisa suggested, equally determined.

“Please! My heart cannot stand another day in ignorance.” Hiyori clenched his chest.

They all held their breaths until their practice time came. In true faith to his character, Ibara exceeded punctuality, arriving at the training room a half-hour early. The trio decided to enter all at once to interrogate him, and that they did.

After a short struggle, they managed to back Ibara to a literal corner at the edge of the practice room, guarding all the sides he could possibly slither to and escape from.

“Jun, Your Highness, Your Excellency.”

“What is this about?” Ibara gave them a ridiculing, cautious glare, his tone matching the same force.

Intimidated, they nearly shrunk. But they’re holding the power!

Hiyori held his chin up high, insulted at his targeted insistence, “Ibara!”

“Your Highness.” He replied coldly.

“You will answer my every question starting at this moment, understood?”

Ibara huffed and recovered, returning to his default faux upbeat and subservient attitude. He smiled at them, spectacles glimmering, “Certainly! However, you must also accommodate my own, what is this about?”

He doubled down with increased intensity and ferocity. The difference in his tone from his pointed words unsettled them.

“The lady producer,” Nagisa spoke gently but upfront, “How do you feel about her?”

A silence wrung between them, tension from amounting anticipation and stillness, strained the air they breathed before it was broken by abrupt fumbling,

“Ha-ha?” Ibara was unquestionably caught off guard, expecting he crossed them for some work-related reasons or issues, but this? About her? And…

Was that hesitation? Ibara?

“You flinched!” Hiyori wailed, “Now—don’t even attempt to play dumb!” He waved an intrusive, accusing pointer finger at the compromised man.

“Well?” Nagisa pushed further, remaining calm but adamant.

Ibara huffed, his eyes averted and brows knit together, and his last word strained. It was as if he was uncomfortable in his own skin.

“… I knew her from my time in the military camp. She lived nearby—that’s all.”

After a few moments of tense silence,

“… Did you miss her?” Nagisa suggests humbly, with ease.

Ibara’s eyes betrayed his calculated facade, its usual chill wavered. He was guarded, insecure.

Hiyori exhaled, dramatically fanning his bangs away as he relieved himself of an anticipated breath he held since Nagisa imposed the question.

“Nagi-senpai—“ Jun cuts in. But he’s stopped by a loud, imposing thump that quiets the room.

Ibara had slammed his palm against the table beside him that held the disposable water bottles, the harsh movements thrusted the bottles to the ground, sending them rolling away, rattling ominously as they went.

After a moment, Ibara bites back with familiar fortitude, “You are all being ridiculous.”

Ibara straightened his glasses, clearing his throat to reestablish the dignity he upholds as the group’s supposed dictator. He continued, with calm but anchored resistance,

“I am not emotionally invested in Ms. (L/n). Our relations are purely professional. I find her to be competent, efficient, and nothing more.”

He practically spat at them, “I’d prefer you stop insisting otherwise.”

The rest of Eden couldn’t articulate what to say exactly. One felt sorry his curiosity made him insist so far, the other regretted ever confronting him, and another was annoyed at his stubbornness.

“She is a producer and I am her superior—“

Ibara halts.

Feeling an overwhelming sense of heaviness, dread—regret. He exhaled, shaking off the growing migraine. Looking at the ground, taking a bit to re-evaluate. He realized what he just said, and how he said it—how it sounds.

He knows he doesn’t have it in him to deny her further. He can’t. He won’t.

Not after he’s waited this long to see her again.

As much as it hurts his ego to allow his unit members to subject him to such a compromising, vulnerable position, he’ll have to swallow his pride and profuse feelings of disgust to protect her own.

Just this once, he hoped.

“Aha!” Jun, Nagisa, and Hiyori exclaimed. Ibara cursed under his breath, turning his head away from them in his tenaciousness.

Jun sighed, relieved and content. Nagisa hummed softly, gratified and accomplished. Hiyori laughed heartily, holding his hands at his chest as he teased,

“You’re not as emotionally constipated as we expected, ‘Iba-kun’~”

masterlist

[kirilune]

I'll also never get over how Absolute and Eden trip were overshadowed by HappyEle themselves too!

1. Dropping Knights trip preview (Eden hadn't even gotten their preview yet) in the middle of Absolute! I understand why they did it (to align with Checkmate's animation release) but like they really should've done Knights climax first and Absolute last then because Knights trip can't overshadow Knights climax. I know Absolute still would've been hated but...the situation got a billion times worse when the Knights trip preview dropped.

2. Dropping the new characters AND anniversary stuff during Eden trip release (also Nazuna bday getting overshadowed </3). Like....??? Why just why?! Nobody talked about Eden trip because of this. And the Eden campaign was rushed for the Knights campaign so Eden's trip got way less promo & was old news within a week while the other trips relevancy lasted longer, had lots of promo and was discussed so much. Eden got...nothing.

I hate hearing that Eden are popular when both the fandom and HappyEle treat them like shit. They're always fucked over and I don't doubt my prediction that their next event being in 2 years or longer is actually gonna be true. We only got that last event because it was the last event in the rotation so they bad to do Eden after all.

[kirilune]

I feel really weird with what's been going on in Enstars lately.

I had a bit of time these days so i decided to watch the Crossroad anime. Naturally, the anime shortens the story but it reminded me of the original one and i felt really nostalgic. I always loved reading the stories in the ! era. They were all interesting and also silly in their own way. In every sentence i read, i thought to myself "man, these characters are really dumb and insane" and i loved it. I loved how real and unreal they were at the same time. I loved reading their inner monologues, their relationships with other characters and analyzing them... Or just simply thinking how silly they were. And it all made sense back then, it felt like everything was right as it should be.

When Engstars came out, i really enjoyed reading the stories in the !! era as well. All of the characters were grown up, and it was really cool to see their development through the years. Happyele wasn't doing too much of a bad job; everything was still enjoyable.

Let's think about the present; what we have now with Ensemble Stars. I haven't been keeping up with all of the stories that come up lately since i don't have time, but i know for sure Ibuki joining Akatsuki was an absolute disaster and it started to ruin so many things. I'm still boycotting Enstars, and i'll keep doing it. It's so sad most people stopped caring about it after a while. Happyele is NOT listening to us and unfortunately they probably will keep it that way. They decided to disband the ninja club a short while after. And it happened so suddenly too. Just like how Tsumugi's new haircut thing happened.

I am trying my best to be open to new stories, new characters and new ideas in general. I am a writer myself and i know how writing characters and building up a fictional world works. This game has been going on for years, and they can't keep repeating the stories, so they are trying new ways, but in my opinion, this is not it. They are making too sudden changes. There was no foreshadowing of Tsumugi's haircut, for example. This is a fictional character, not a real one, so their sudden changes will affect how the reader/player sees and values them. Sure, it may be an interesting part of his story and maybe a good development for Tsumugi, but it still feels wrong. These new stories that are coming up all feel wrong. It's not fun anymore. And i'm not even talking about the racist stuff happyele is doing and the reasons we are boycotting them for.

Man, i really don't know. I love this game and its characters. I never even really cared about the gameplay. I'm one of those players who just play it because of its story and characters. But it's all making me really disappointed now. I will continue writing for this game, but i'm getting really sick of happyele ruining things...

[kirilune]

I think my main problem with all of this tsumugi thing is that you'd expect something of this importance to have some kind of foreshadowing in past events. BUT NO!! It was too sudden and with no build at all!!

It's just like the disbanding of the ninja club! Too sudden with an ass explanation for it ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

It's like a pattern for recent stories already. They're relying too much on shock value and completing disregarding the already existing lore...

Idk, i may be overreacting. But i don't trust happyele at all lol

[kirilune]

So nice to see that instead of trying to help others through having to give up their hyperfixations and properly educating them, people are still insulting and acting awfully towards neurodivergent people with the excuse that they are also neurodivergent. /s

It's such a cruel way of thinking. Let's... not. Insult people for struggling to give up their hyperfixations, okay? Instead let's actually try to help them through it and offer other things that are better and can fill that need for their hyperfixation. Get them away from it but don't just leave them to drown. And don't insult them or put them down.

You screaming at neurodivergent people "I can do it so you should be able to too, if not you're a terrible person and a failure," doesn't help. It just makes you mean. Instead try "Hey, I understand that you love this thing. Here are some other things you can try instead and we can get you away from [insert problematic thing here]. I was able to do it, so I'm sure you can as well."

It's not that hard. It really isn't.

Boycott Enstars, do not play the game, do not buy merch from Happyele in a way where they get the money. Educate people, lead them in the right direction. You can do all of that while also being understanding of other people's mental states. You don't have to be demeaning and terrible to people to lead them in the right direction. Focus those emotions on the people who actively defend it (and I mean the ones saying "It's okay" or "It's not a big deal") KNOWING what's happening. Focus those emotions on Happyele and email them your feelings and opinions.

Also I've been seeing people call the characters from the game "faggy" as an insult lately. Using that term as a malicious insult towards queer coded people, even if you can reclaim that, is still harmful. Very different than just saying it to say it.

Sorry for my hot take.

Anyways boycott Enstars, and I will provide a list of alternative games you can play instead if my fellow neurodivergents are having trouble giving it up due to hyperfixation or need to play those sorts of games.

Also consuming fanmade content is OK. Still loving the characters is OK. The fanbase can and should claim their favorite characters as their own. Happyele doesn't deserve them.

Edit: Please do not attack people if they do lash out. Just try to gently tell them that what they are doing is harmful. Most likely they are struggling too, so let's all just try our best to support each other in this awful situation.

[kirilune]

bites down on my own knuckles. STOP playing enstars why are you doing this to me. i thought we were all united in hating imperialism. can anyone even hear me

[kirilune]

As the pjsekai x enstars crossover approaches, I would like to remind everyone that there is a boycott of enstars going on right now due to the blatant racism and pro-colonization views promoted in recent stories.

The most important thing is to avoid everything on the enstars side of the collab. I forget what they're getting specifically but don't watch the song mv when it's uploaded to their official channel and do not download the game.

Now this next part is just my opinion but I would also avoid any monetary support of pjsekai's side of the collab. They don't deserve any support for collabing with a racist game/company imo.

Just please don't mindlessly celebrate and get excited over this xoxo - an ex-enstarrie

[kirilune]

Hey guys!

As of the most recent Akatsuki event, fans of Ensemble Stars! across the globe have begun voicing their anger with the distasteful, ignorant, and outright bigoted nature of the franchise's story as a whole (most prominently (but not exclusively) its racist structure, undertones, plot points, and rhetoric). I have always been of the opinion that Happy Elements K.K. as a company is not worthy of respect, and wholly do not care about fans' and users' input, feelings, concerns, and criticisms. Time and time again, H.E. have not only put their own bottom line first, but have made it their only concern.

Needless to say, I am not only disappointed but infuriated with this company. While I am an optimist who hopes to see the best come from any situation, this is not one of the cases where this would be a realistic outlook. Because of this, posts on here will likely be infrequent, as I don't want anyone to believe that even for a moment I think their decisions are excusable.

That being said, while I encourage everyone to do their part in reminding H.E. over and over how much harm they've caused and the colossal damage they've done to their IP, I must also remind everyone that most of a gacha's game's profits come from the small percentage of its highest paying players (i.e. "whales"), and that H.E. has a long history of not listening to its playerbase's concerns and criticisms, even going as far as to silence them and block them for speaking up. They do not care what you think. They care about money, first foremost and only. Be active and speak up, don't support their shitty business practices, but don't run yourselves into the ground in the process of doing so, because at the end of the day they will continue trucking along-- they are too big to fail.

I encourage everyone to direct their focus towards fan creators, and send them as much of your kindness and love as possible. Support the people who create things due to passion and love, not just for money. Enstars has been lacking passionate stories for a long time anyway, with only a handful every now and again. Everyone who creates anything, no matter their skill level, deserves compassion and support. And if you're someone who wants to create something but fears mediocrity, create it anyway. Every great artist was consistently mediocre until they grew enough in their skill to start producing some things they like.

Additionally, this is in no way the fault of the seiyuu, the employees of H.E. who are not in charge of making decisions for the story, or anyone else who isn't directly involved with the meat of what makes Enstars, Enstars. These people are not to blame. Direct your ire towards the writers, the executives, and anyone else who allows these decisions to pass.

That's all I have to say for now. If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask. I can't guarantee I'll get around to everything in a timely manner, but I assure you I will answer anything I can. Thank you for reading.

[kirilune]

1st image is stolen from Twitter, 2nd and 3rd are stolen from my instagram. As someone that was excited for Ibuki, I was disappointed (but as a HiiroP and just Amagi bro fan, unsurprised) and it was egregious enough to need to demand change. As a RyuseitaiP, this hurts me so deeply. These are the characters I can see myself most in, the unit based on holding onto what you love and never letting go of it, and protecting it. Shinobu would not wave it off, his unit wouldn’t wave it off. Not only does it mischaracterize Shinobu, but it a way that mischaracterizes the rest of the unit.

Give the superhero unit their autism back, let him love his interest deeply and cry when it’s hurt or taken away. Let us love enstars deeply and cry when you hurt it, Happy Elements.

[kirilune]

I've already seen some people go "well it was Ibuki's choice we have to respect it </3" and it's quite frankly a very stupid take. These are fictional characters they do not have agency. There was a deliberate decision to write a Ryukyuan character and made their character arc around assimilating to Japanese culture and to frame that as a good thing. It's racist and fucked up. Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable about their decision.

Also idc if you're not AkatsukiP, you should care about the situation. These people are in charge of writing your scrunklies too. Criticize art and don't accept bigoted slop.

[kirilune]

Upset at HappyElements?

Now's your chance to get your voice heard! Youko Gitsunegal is going to be HAND-DELIVERING A PETITION directly to the HappyElements US office!

You can sign the petition here!

[kirilune]

If happy ele got rid of the current writing team and hired some fanfic authors the stories would be back on track in 2 weeks tops

[kirilune]

10.01 ★ happy birthday eichi ✨🩵✨🩵✨ i love you sooo much !!

[kirilune]

happy birthday eichi ! you are loved by so so so many people, i hope you know that!!!

[kirilune]

in light of recent (tragic) news, take this esupuri ibuki edit i made instead of sleeping (yeah yeah i know its really rushed don't look at it up close okay i'll still try to polish it once i'm less tired) bc in this house we don't accept ibuki in akatsuki