kittengchan

[kittengchan]

Organs never makeup for shitty personalities.

[kittengchan]

I love the graphology behind this sign and the new plants at their front door!

[kittengchan]

Things don't always start with the foundation you want. Take for example this tumblr. It started as a way to grasp with a FWB ghosted me, and has turned into a place where I post as if I'm talking to one of the most important people to me. Sharing all the things I wish I said and could say instead of freezing up every time he's around.

[kittengchan]

Beholder pellets

[kittengchan]

I'm suffering

In ways no one will understand

Social media is a lie

I'm drowning and I've stopped trying to hold my breath

I have no friends

Not after whatever the fuck happened in February

My family I cannot trust

I have to pay 1400$ before June lest I be taken to court or whatever for debt shit

Yay job opportunity that will help my burn out

Fuck this life

Fuck hope

If my dog ever goes missing

Or my ex takes her for a weekend

I will have no reason not to slip away

[kittengchan]

I want to breed has a distinct feeling.

And I'm slowly realizing it by picturing my two neighbors, who happen to be roommates, and both attractive in their own rights, tag teaming me during the next city lockdown.

Oh yeah, I also started specific posting at my long term, first time, crush, love? Idfk I am god damned confused so, unlike the last 3 years I kept it all in, this time I'm just letting it out. Fuck I hope it makes me move on to better things but like damn, 3 fucking god damned years. NOTHING HAS BEEN THIS FUCKING CONSTANT.

I cannot explain it. I haven't experienced it before and no one can really hold my hand or even guide me. They can point out my social errors, but they don't seem to understand how I just need clear, and I mean CLEAR communication, between two people.

I am done living life by the emotions of others. I never learned how to block it out, so here I am doing it alone. I might loose my last (oh no), my future might bring brighter things. But for now I do what I feel is best for my future happiness no matter if that means discomfort throughout.

[kittengchan]

by one_becky_blue

[kittengchan]

Has There Ever Been A Better Combination Than Cats & Glass Tables.

[kittengchan]

I'm building the courage to get rejected for the first time in my life since I can remember.

This will be interesting.

But that isn't what my heart says. Or is it my head?

[kittengchan]

Shut up stupid heart

Stop colluding with my brain

Stay silent, you there gut

for you're involved as well

Stay serene you there body

It is not you time

Wait there now consciousness

For too it shall be

A silent within the soul

A place that belongs to me

[kittengchan]

[kittengchan]

When it comes to recovery, there is great power in the word “and.”

“I know eating this meal is okay AND it makes me anxious.”

“Relapsing would not be the best thing for me AND I still have the urge to relapse.”

“My body has changed AND I’m still a valuable person.”

It’s not as though suddenly a switch is flipped and I no longer have the thoughts I did while engaging with my disorder, but I allow them to exist while reminding myself of the recovery tools I have learned to use.

[kittengchan]

[kittengchan]

Chewing on Machienvilliasm as a personality trait aimed at survival, and why such personalities are not needed to protect countries, or to make money, but rather are amazing for the science sector and the mental health sector.

[kittengchan]

As an empath, I miss the jovial waves of a mall in a lull, where the trilling laughter if babies echo and where the footsteps of children rampage.

I miss the silent concentration that bistros and coffee shops contained, where business workers, artists and hooligans all sat down to recharge their body and soul.

I miss the chaos of fast food, hearing friends and teams laugh, and sing, and yell at each other's, breaking down the silence of in production turning it into a carousel of enjoyment and community.

I miss seeing children run and bump into each other and things in stores where their meager allowance encourages them to try new things.

I miss seeing skate parks full, and parks in movement.

I miss seeing the subtle smiles of those who were content with themselves.

As an empath, I miss sharing these experiences with strangers, but I can wait until it is safe again to do so.

And who knows, maybe systems will change as well.

[kittengchan]

I figured out why hearing about God and Christ makes me so sad. Because so many people replace their hard work, with the wave if a hand, that some perfect being did this for them.

It is a great way to devalue someone, by saying their struggles and strength are not their own but on loan.

How can you have confidence if everything you see and do and experience are not yours?

[kittengchan]

Does exercise and sex replace the enjoyment of playing.

By combining the 2 activities you could reproduce the same hormones or chemicals or whatever but slightly differently, whereas playing like a child, using your full imagination and then the tool at your disposal tools secondary, could produce the perfect balanced mix for our own personal selves.

I've always had this theory that happiness was the key to a long life, but not superficial happiness, but true genuine happiness. Scientifically it shows that it lowers how much stress hormones you produce, and lowers the chances of infections and illnesses. So there is already some evidence showing emotions are important to physical and mental health.

Today we don't really play like we used to. It's not the same kind of structure or premise. As a kid you were constantly asked "show me what you can do" and one day, you hear it for the last time. One day it changes to "can you do this skill you have by this time?" Once there is expectation, even if you are inlove and are passionate about what you do, once expectation is put on you, it alters how you proceed. You will constantly have a secondary voice narrating your actions to you sometimes being louder than your own thoughts.

One you loose the freedom to do what makes you happy on your own terms, your sight grows more narrow as more rules are introduced. You can see it in the constantly anxious and depressed, people fighting themselves to be someone they are not because of the expectations they perceive to have.

You have to tell people today, that it is OKAY TO FEEL EMOTIONS, like what the fuck. Emotions. Something literally everything has. Something so basic people get them just by using 1 of their 5 main senses. You see a sunset, emotion. You feel sharp, emotion. You taste bitter, emotion. You loose your sense of balance, emotion.

If we are needing to tell people it's okay, to feel, a basic human experience, something is horribly wrong.

This society has us focused on appearance, and sex. Stress on our bodies via diets, and perfect bodies, strict structure.

No one is truly happy, not many show up to work because they genuinely enjoy their job, almost too many go out and use some kind of numbing agent from religion to drugs, to avoid facing their painful reality. Every kind of subculture is screaming how unhappy they are.

It's not like all this discourse is because either side is truly happy, but each is fighting for their version of survival. Why is everyone so scared of each other? What is our insecurity that makes us go "fear those I don't understand" still?

It is 2021.

We know the world is round thanks to science.

We have photos of every country.

We have infographic on how each country was literally connected, and how they still figuretively are today with shipping routes and airplane paths.

We have the internet which makes us practically telepathic!

We are beyond connected at this point, and yet we choose to go "the rules you follow that make you believe you are a good person, goes against mine and you're wrong." Like, we can't agree people are people, in some places that means that women aren't seen as people, sometimes children, sometimes men, sometimes it has to do with sexuality or gender. And the entire fight is "MY EXPERIENCE WAS DIFFERENT" so die?

What the actual fuck?!

You don't need control to be powerful. You need respect. A person genuinely willing to do something they are passionate for will get the job done faster, better, cheaper, than someone who feels threatened.

Work used to be about doing what you know best, then it became doing what you must, and now it's become something you have to do in order to survive.

I doubt the first architect did their thing under threat of death by the hands of someone else. I can't imagine a Neanderthal holding a rock over the other who built a better twig nest threatening violence if a home was not made.

Nor can I imagine a migratory tribe threatening one of their own to learn how to farm, or how to do accounting and math.

The first basics of our comfortable life came from an organic want to help others feel better.