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kittifersgarden · 4 years

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Healing

Pairing: Todoroki Enji x F Reader

Word Count: 4082

Warnings: PURE FLUFF, talk of redemption and Endeavor’s mistakes, there’s a slight panic attack from him too.

A/N: Some comfort for divorced!Enji. I wanted some smoot but it just stayed on an awkward courting which I’m okay with. Maybe a part 2? For now it’s just hurt/comfort pretty much. Fanart in banner was made for me but tried to make it as non-specific as I could.

Focusing on the warmth radiating from the pot in your hands helped calm your nervously racing thoughts as you made the trek from your car to the door of the large traditional style Japanese house before you. Even though you had a pretty solid scapegoat if things went south, you couldn’t help the thundering pulse in your ears deafening you from the birds chirping around you.

It was actually a much larger bird that had “pushed” you to be there in the first place…

“Ready for some morning tea? Endeavor-San got kicked out of his own building after his sidekicks threatened to all walk out!”

The coffee mug headed to your lips stopped abruptly in shock from Hawks’ oddly playfully made statement. “W-what?!”

“Yeah, he has a hell of a cold but kept trying to deny it and they weren’t having that.”

Rolling your eyes, thinking something far more sinister had happened instead of… wait. “Enji’s sick?”

“Yeah. It’s a shame too. Fuyumi-San lives so far away now and has her work and all so he’s at home... all alone.” He dragged out the last part rather dramatically with a heavy sigh. “Probably unable to even cook for himself…”

“Hawks.” You groaned softly, placing the mug down next to the phone on the counter where the overgrown bird’s voice came from.

“Whaaaaat? I’m just keeping you up on the news.” You could basically hear the grin on his lips as his voice turned to pure saccharine to play up the false innocence.

Mumbling out a curse, you looked down at the phone with a heated glare. “If he’s mad, I’m blaming you!”

And while Hawks had laughed and said he’d take the blame, you couldn’t deny what really urged you on was the thought of Japan’s Number One Hero sick and alone.

Todoroki Enji frequently visited your family’s restaurant for quite some time, telling your father that he enjoyed the traditional food and the quiet atmosphere that the other customers respected. After your parents retired and you had taken over, Enji’s visits didn’t decrease and often complimented you on how well you handled the reigns.

Over the past six months things started to change between the two of you and you definitely noticed. It started when he came in right before closing and bought the most expensive sake there. After a few drinks he admitted to you that he just purchased his family a new home and they would all be moving into it except for him. He had told you he hoped it was for their own good and the sad smile that accompanied that statement made your chest hurt.

More nights like that came where he stayed drinking and talking as you quietly listened. He told you about the divorce he gave Rei, how obtaining his lifelong dream was nothing like he expected it, and how he felt like his whole life was spent in a haze that he was jerked violently out of. It was all heartbreaking really for all parties involved, though it really sounded that they were all on a road to healing. A long and no doubt hard road but it was still a good start nonetheless.

It was around that time that Hawks started visiting your restaurant when Enji’s office told the winged hero where he could find their boss. The two of you struck up a quick and easy friendship after that and once again you noticed a change in Enji. For some reason though, no matter how very attractive the blonde was, you found yourself mentally cursing him when he interrupted the peaceful moments you and Enji shared on a now daily basis. Maybe it was because you didn’t like how observant the birdman or how he was quick to mention how good you seemed to be for Enji during this difficult time in his life.

Which all lead to Hawks calling to give you the news on Enji’s condition right away. He knew you’d take the bait and take it you sure did.

Exhaling slowly, you reached the door and shuffled the bag hanging from your wrist to hit the doorbell with your elbow. While it wasn’t public knowledge where the Number One Hero lived, there were a few times you had to call a cab for him after he drank just a bit too much and he easily gave up his home address. You hoped he wouldn’t be angry that you used the knowledge to show up now.

“Coming!”

The deep growl from behind the door caused your heart to crash into your ribs like a bowling ball would strike pins. You shouldn’t have been so nervous; you knew him! He insisted you called him just “Enji” instead of “Todoroki-San” or “Endeavor”! Even though you knew this was an entirely different setting with him than what you were used to, you didn’t realize it would be this much.

All thoughts were gone when the door opened before you and your breath caught in your throat.

Oh hell.

There stood Todoroki Enji wearing a thin dark blue robe, his usually spiked hair was half down and pieces stuck to his lightly sweat sheened forehead. His usually bright turquoise eyes lacked that fierce light though they opened in surprise as he looked down at you.

Muttering your name in a bemused and dreamy tone which sent a shiver right down your spine, he cleared his throat with a brief cough smothered into his arm. “What are you doing here?”

“I, um… okayu.” So lost taking in the sight before you, your own breathless words escaped without meaning to before you were able to snap yourself or of it. “I mean, I heard you were sick and brought okayu.” Holding up the pot with a smile, you still felt your nerves on edge as he continued to stare at you in shock. “E… Enji?”

Endeavor, meanwhile, was trying to wake up from this too real fever dream. He had been dozing on the couch while watching the afternoon news when he heard the doorbell, but he never would have expected to see you standing there! Your words slowly sank in and he placed a hand on the side of his face. This was really happening?

“‘m sorry. I, uh… but you shouldn’t be here.” The hurt look that crossed your features had him quick to continue. “N-no, I mean that I’m sick and you really shouldn’t be around.”

Visible relief has your shoulders relaxing as you scoffed gently. “Oh please, I’m not worried about that.”

A quiet laugh easily fell from his lips. “No, you wouldn’t. Well if you’re sure, come on in.”

Moving from the doorway to let you pass, Enji still couldn’t fully fathom what was happening. This beautiful woman he saw on a pretty regular basis was at his home with a pot of rice porridge. He only saw you in the restaurant wearing a kimono and your hair done up to keep up with the traditional setting the restaurant had. Seeing you in a pair of shorts and light shirt fitting for the hot summer day with your hair in what he assumed was your more comfortable style was shocking to him as well.

Leading you to the kitchen, he kept glancing over at you as he still tried to process everything. “How did you find out?”

“A large bird told me.” Your lightly laughed reply was met with a deep groan from him. Of course Hawks found out. “I think Burnin’ told him.” You thoughtfully added while placing the pot on top of the kitchen counter. “Those two do seem pretty close.”

“Oh god.” Enji sighed deeply. “I wouldn’t even want to know.” The rustling of the bag that had hung from your wrist and ended on the counter caught his attention. “What’s that?”

“Oh um… I wasn’t sure what you had so…” you smiled down at the bag before pulling items out. “Tissues, some medicine… I wasn’t sure what exactly was wrong so I just picked up a general one. Some of those cooling head strips and throat spray. Oh! And some kuzumochi.”

Your gaze stayed on the items in the bag as you spoke, though his never left you. How long had it been since anyone besides Fuyumi had taken care of him? Not even his own mother…

“You didn’t-.” He started but stopped as his hand went to run through his lifeless hair. “This is…” What could he even say?

You decided to take pity on him and pushed down the lingering nervousness you felt. “Have you eaten today?” The very uncharacteristic look of guilt he made when his head bowed and eyes shifted was far more suited for a puppy dog. “Well you shouldn’t take medicine on an empty stomach so why don’t you get comfortable and I’ll set everything up for you?”

“Y-yeah….” This time his reply came out weak because he was stunned at your change. Not just that but what you brought… it was all so thoughtful. “I set up in the living room to watch the news. I’ll be in there.”

The smile and nod you gave him set him in motion though it started to feel like he was trudging through mud. His idea of “set up” was just bringing out a pillow and light sheet to the oversized couch. The half empty box of tissues he found had been dangerously dwindling already and the medicine he found had expired a month ago; all of it adding up to put him into a depressed state rather quickly. Having you show up was definitely a breath of fresh air. Still something in him wickedly teased that this all might still be a fever dream...

“I brought some movies too. You told me you didn’t have any streaming services but remember you mentioning a BluRay player.” Your voice trailed in from the kitchen as he settled back into the little nest he made. “Damn, actually I left those in the car.” The clanking of dishes and the closing of cabinets as you acquainted yourself with the kitchen was indelibly soothing to him as he nestled into the couch.

Please don’t wake up from this fever dream…

“Enji?” A cold hand fell into his head and jolted him from the sleep he started to slip into. Seeing the very worried look on your face made him frown. “You’re burning up!”

“I always am, angel.” His deep voice tumbled out with a chuckle and he wasn’t quite sure why your face turned about as red as he was sure his was. “Don’t worry. That’s just what happens to us fire users.” He groaned when he sat up, seeing the tray you made him sitting on the table.

“O-oh…”

Your voice was shaken like it had been when you first arrived and he was about to ask what was wrong before he felt a burning pressure build up behind his eyes. Cursing softly, he quickly grabbed up the remaining tissues to catch two violently monstrous sneezes.

“Damn.” The playful laugh that left you made him chuckle before saving his breath to blow his nose.

“Ugh. Exactly.” Sniffing hard, he threw the tissues into the small garbage can he moved by the couch for such use. “Sorry about your ears.”

He felt the couch shift next to him as you sat with the tray in hand. “Nah. After fifteen years of knowing you, I’m pretty used to them. Here.”

Handing him a bowl of the okayu, he smiled when he noticed the ginger honey topping. He ordered this dish from your restaurant a few times but since the last time was so long so the fact you remembered... “Thank you.” Sitting up better, he took a hold of the spoon in a large hand as the smile stayed on his lips. “Fifteen years, huh? I remember the first time I found the place was by complete accident.” He paused to take a bite of the porridge, humming approval in his throat. “Really good.”

While you were still quite shocked at what he had called you, you thanked him quietly before listening as he began to reminisce.

“The billboard charts were announced that day so I was mad at the world. Heh. Like always. Shoutou was just a newborn and things were getting really tense here so I didn’t want to come home just yet.” He paused to take another bite, chewing thoughtfully a moment before swallowing. “That’s when a girl no more than a teenager came running down the street and nearly right into me. She stopped to apologize before rushing off to an older couple behind me telling them the man left his wallet in the restaurant.”

Your eyes widened as you listened, gripping harder onto the cup of cold water you grabbed off the tray for him.

“It was just such a nice little scene that brought me out of the dark thoughts that were plaguing me so I asked the girl when she headed back where she worked.” He stopped to let out a rumbling laugh. “It was strange that she didn’t even seem to recognize me though I was already pretty popular by then. Normally I’d be irritated by such a dumb thing, as I was at everything back then, but at that moment I actually liked not being Endeavor and followed her to this incredible building. It was so peaceful and I just felt calm for the first time in… I can’t even remember how long.”

When he paused to take another bite, you placed a hand on his hot arm to grab his attention, silently offering him the water. He thanked you and took a long sip before placing it on the table.

“This seemingly hidden little oasis which brought a stillness to me was owned by a quirkless couple and employed their quirkless daughter. I still think that’s the reason I felt so calm, it was just all so… pure.”

When he passed for another bite, you tried to gulp down air as the surge of emotions rushed through you. With a thundering pulse, you started down at your hands resting in your lap and let his deep voice rumble through you.

“Fifteen years. If I knew then what I know now…” sadness pulled down his features which were oddly cheerful when recalling the memory, making your hand move back to rest back on his thick arm.

“Isn’t fifteen years better than never?” You asked gently, giving him a smile when his eyes finally landed back on you.

He returned your smile with his own. “You were always too wise beyond your years.” That made you laugh softly, and still he nodded. “You’re right, of course. But all that damage I caused during that time…”

“Uh, Enji.” Clearing your throat, you thought he was being a little too open now. “You can take the medicine now.” Grateful to have a distraction and hopefully something to knock him out, you started to reach for the tray but a large heated hand grabbed your arm to stop you. It wasn’t a rough action, actually he handled you like a piece of fine china, it was only enough to bring your attention back to him.

His fever flushed face searched yours a moment before taking a slow breath. “I’ve done terrible things, angel. Bringing Rei into a quirk marriage and having children only to create a legacy stronger than All Might. I never thought about their feelings or even my own besides the fact that I just had to pass the Number One.”

“Enji-“

“When I did pass him, I felt so empty and I wondered why. Why did I push my kids away and force Shouto so hard with intense training at such a young age? Why did I let such a thing consume my entire life?”

“Enji!”

“I’m a monster, angel! I’ve hurt so many people and I have no idea how to fix it, not for myself but for them. Removing myself from their lives was a good start but I don’t know what to do now. And I like you. Oh god, I really do. I don’t think I actually enjoy talking to anyone other than you. And I think maybe I can be happy because that idiot bird tells me he thinks we’d be good together but I don’t deserve that happiness. I’ve caused so much pain that I’d need lifetimes to fix it before I deserve to be happy! But what if that just hurts you?! I can’t-!”

“Enji. Stop.”

As he went on the more he got worked up, his breath becoming chopped and panicked, his flushed face gleaming more as sweat slid down his cheeks.

No. That was tears.

“Look at me. You’re not a monster. A monster never realizes what they do is wrong. A monster will blame everyone for their mistakes and you’ve never done either.” You moved a hand to the side of his strong jaw, keeping your breathing level as he started to match it. “Of course you deserve to be happy. I’m sure you don’t feel like it now but think about it; what good will it do for you or your family to move on while you just torture yourself?”

When Enji started to shake his head, you weren’t expecting the painful sob that suddenly escaped him, his hands resting on your arms pulling you in as he buried his head into your collar. Beyond shocked at his actions, you could only pet a hand through his red strands while he cried it out. You were sure he never let himself mourn for the loss of his family or even for the monster that he once was. You thought that might have been the reason he drank so heavily some nights, trying to use the alcohol to break the wall his pride had put up.

After a few minutes of holding him and petting down his hair, his breath started to even out and his grip that moved to your back began to loosen.

“Thank you.”

His normally deep voice sounded like it had been dragged over gravel when it came out, rattling your whole body with each symbol. Instead of diving into any of the new information that he let out, you helped move him so he could sit back up.

“Of course.”

Enji was quietly docile after the little meltdown, finishing his food as you tried to put one of the cool gel strips on his head. His fever was worrying even with his second attempt to reassure you that it was part of having his quirk. It was only when the gel strips started to literally melt to his skin did he chuckle softly and give in.

“Maybe it is worse than I thought.”

“Hmm… you should get into a cold bath.” you suggested softly while trying to get melted gel out of his hair.

“Shame. I would prefer a sponge bath instead.”

“Wh-?!” Shifting back slightly with wide eyes and a fresh blush, he chuckled deeply which only made you grow more concerned. “Okay, you need to get better since you’re really freaking me out now.”

The flame hero let out a soft laugh. “Well, even though I actually said it, I can assure you I would be thinking it when I’m well.” His blazing turquoise eyes meet yours and you felt your breath catch. He was serious.

“Well, since I owe you the truth back… I definitely wouldn’t mind giving you one.” Your eyes shifted to his insanely built body as your lips pulled up into a smirk. When you looked back at his face, it was rather satisfying to see his own blush spread across his face as his Adam’s apple bobbed slowly. “However… you really need a proper cool down, not to heat up more.” Your finger ran down his strong nose which twitched in response.

“H-hey…” sniffling and rubbing the reddened tip, he started to stand but stopped. “Uh, maybe you could start it? I need a minute here.” He cleared his throat loudly as you got the hint, a giggle bubbling in your throat.

Biting your lip, you only patted his shoulder with a nod before heading to the bathroom. Being away from his stifling heat would also help clear up your own increasingly foggy mind and you certainly could use a breather.

Watching the water fill the tub, thoughts swirling through your mind like the water you watched both intensely and not at all. Everything he told you about his family, about how he saw himself… You still had no idea what happened exactly but you were sure that when he was better he would finally explain everything.

Still, you stood by your convictions; he owned up to his mistakes and were starting to try and fix them. Who was to say he didn’t deserve finding his own happiness as well? Not that you’d be the one to tell him that Hawks learned from Natsuo that Rei had already been seeing someone rather seriously for the past few months. They all deserve happiness and to put the dark past behind them where it belonged.

A fierce sneeze that echoed down the hallway jolted you from your thoughts abruptly. First things first! Heading back to the living room, you laughed when a second sounded and you caught Enji folded in half with his face pressed into a bouquet of tissues.

“You alright?” Your hand carded through his hair to pull his attention back to you.

“I think the medicine is starting to work.” At the incredulous look on your face, he chuckled deeply and shook his head. “Sure it doesn’t sound like it…”

“You pronounced medicine ‘bedicid’.”

“Alright, I concede.” With a deep groan he stood up from the couch and started down to the bathroom. Pausing to rest a large hand on the wall and turn back to you, a gentle smile graced his flushed face. “Thank you, angel. I mean it, I was in a pretty dark place before you came and… I truly appreciate everything.”

“It’s my pleasure, Enji.”

He seemed to laugh quietly, the mild disbelief mixing with the lit of happiness clearly before he resumed his trek to the bath.

The rest of the day was rather domestic as you cleaned his dishes and put away the leftovers. Straightening up the living room, you retrieved the movies and put them out for him to pick. Enji had emerged from the bath looking much better and feeling… well not as hot as before and he was rewarded by agreeing to use your lap as a pillow. It had only taken five minutes of hair petting that loud snores started to fill the house. Oddly, they didn’t bother you as you only continued playing with the scarlet strands with one hand while browsing your phone with the other.

The text from Hawks that came in made you pause the “match three” game you messed around with.

“Well you didn’t call to yell at me so I can only assume you’re still there. Don’t worry about your place, I told your employees that you were doing work for me so you got the next three days off to take care of the big guy. And hey, I know it’s just moving out of that really weird time for him and even though you’re closer to my age than his, I still think you’d be really good for each other. Damn! Have you ever seen a text this long?! I’ll let you get back to it~ let me know if you want me to drop off anything!”

“Damn bird.” You quietly laughed as you looked down at the sleeping face of Enji. He looked so peaceful when his powerful features were softened by the deep sleep he was in. “Thanks Hawks.”

“Mmmm.” Enji seemed to agree as his head rubbed on your thighs, his large arm that wrapped around your knees pulling in to nestle closer to you.

You had no idea where the future would lead, but you couldn’t help the hopeful thought that the two of you officially started a trek down what would surely be a very rocky road. A road that, while rocky, would smooth out and yield to a beautiful and scenic scene. It was all part of life, after all. And you really wouldn’t mind sharing both the ups and downs with Enji at your side.

#THIS SIDE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR SMUT ME! D:<#I think I like torturing him more than his stupid antis D:#deep physiological questions going on here too #Endeavor #Endeavor x Reader #Todoroki Enji #Todoroki Enji x Reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #fluff #female!reader #Endeavor x you #Endeavor x y/n

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