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knjsagustd · 4 years ago

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either side of sunrise | jjk 05

We start smiling at each other again when we part. I’m getting the sense that this may become a theme. Taking moments to revel in the pure joy of whatever this is. After a second Jungkook nods, as though placing a full stop in the moment, and starts leading me down the stairs.

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→ idol!Jungkook x actress!OC (Aurora Kim-Wiseman)

→ w/c: 3.7k

→ warnings: as usual; discussions of mental illness

→ a/n: i’m back(ish). i’m in my final year of uni, so work is a bitch and writing is difficult to find time for, but i really love this story and these characters so i managed to write this. i hope you enjoy it 💛💛

I check my make up again before we leave. Digby is a magician (or just uses very good quality stuff) because it doesn’t seem to have really budged. However, I do have to rub my thumb across Jungkook’s lips where there is a shadow of my lipstick painting them a little bit too pink. The way he looks at me as I do it, all tender and sparkly, is something that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. But I really don’t have the time to examine that right now. He gives my hand a little squeeze before we exit the bathroom and go our separate ways.

James is back in his seat when I return. His agent is staring boredly at the stage but he’s got this self-satisfied grin, complete with wiggling eyebrows.

“Your lipstick’s smudged,” he whispers once I’ve retaken my seat.

“No it’s not,” I reply, refusing to give him any reaction. I stay completely straight faced as I continue, “I checked.”

Thankfully the fact we’re in a packed theatre with cameras potentially watching our every move save me from the over reaction that James would normally have to that tidbit.

“Aurora Ha-yoon Kim-Wiseman, are you telling me that you have a reason for your lipstick to be smudged?”

I roll my lips between my teeth, biting back the smile threatening at them, as James leans into my space. He’s wiggling his eyebrows manically at me.

“Would this reason happen to have the initials JJK? Hmm? Hmmmm?”

I roll my eyes before turning to face him. He’s a lot closer than I thought he’d be, he’s barely an inch away from me. I push his face away, my smile cracks through as his head turns and bounces away.

“No, I kissed a random stranger in the bathroom… what do you think?”

I didn’t think it was possible but James’ grin widens. I wait for the shoe to drop - whatever extremely inappropriate thing he’s going to whisper and promptly be met with violence from both me and his agent who is definitely listening - but James just nods. He ducks his head, smiles, and settles back into his chair. I’m tempted to dig at him, find out what’s going on inside his head but I don’t want to push my luck. He’s probably just stocking it for after the ceremony.

The Grammys last around two and half hours after that. I spend the entire time trying not to look around at Jungkook. It’s especially hard because I know BTS are performing but according to the program they’re last. It’s like the organisers were trying to test me specifically. James is nudging me in that obnoxious, highschool, way when they’re introduced. I’m sure that if I look over at him he’ll be grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows and dodging his agent who really deserves a raise. Everytime I watch BTS perform in person is different but it’s always amazing. The energy is always infectious and I can’t help the smile on my face. This time I know when Jungkook looks at me it’s not just a fluke, or the lighting playing tricks on me. I know that when Jimin nudges him as they scatter from the chorus choreo that I’m the joke. In the best way possible. Seeing Jungkook perform is magical. This is natural habitat; in the same way I’m nothing without a script and camera, Jungkook belongs on stage - sharing his gift with the world. To think there's a universe where he may not get to do this is impossible.

Jungkook texts me after the ceremony finishes. I’m just gathering my stuff when I feel my phone buzz in my clutch.

JJK: Backstage, dressing room 4.

I don’t even think before I’m typing out a reply.

Me: coming.

There’s an after party I’m meant to be going to. I know for a fact that BTS won’t be there. They don’t normally go to that sort of thing, especially not outside Korea. But I can be late. Or not go, tell Maia I was feeling sick when she asks why no one is reporting my appearance. Tell James the truth, he’d rather I did this than spend the night looking out for him. I catch him as we stand to leave. He hugs me after I tell him.

“Get it girl,” he whispers to me, so not even his agent can hear. “Don’t do anything I would do.”

I laugh as we part.

“That means far less than you think it does.”

He just nods, a proud smile on his face.

Jungkook is pacing back and forth backstage, flipping his phone in his hands, when I round the corner to the dressing room. Despite the fact that all I want to do is run to him, I walk slowly over. Trying not to draw any attention to us. He stops when he sees me, a puppy dog smile spreading over his face.

“Hey,” he says when I reach him. I see his hand flex as his side.

“Hey.”

For a moment we just stand there looking at each other, smiling. It’s not an awkward silence. Just happy. Being in each other's presence is enough. My heart is doing flips in my chest and I literally can’t stop the smile on my face. I’m an actress, I should be better at controlling my emotions than this. Jungkook looks around, cautiously, for a second before stepping closer to me. He ghosts his hand down my arm before taking me, interlocking our fingers.

“Rory Kim-Wiseman,” he starts, stopping to let out a small, embarrassed, chuckle. “Do you want to go on a date with me?”

“Jeon Jungkook… I would love that.”

With that he tugs my arm, guiding me towards an emergency exit I hadn’t even noticed. It leads out into a stairwell. As soon as we’re through the doors he takes a second to pull me into him. His free hand instantly runs through my hair and draws me into a kiss. I snake my hand up to tangle in the hair at the back of his head. Pressing myself further into him. Kissing him is like drinking cold water after waking up in the night. I never want to stop. We start smiling at each other again when we part. I’m getting the sense that this may become a theme. Taking moments to revel in the pure joy of whatever this is. After a second Jungkook nods, as though placing a full stop in the moment, and starts leading me down the stairs.

They lead down to the Staples centre employee parking, far from prying eyes. Waiting near where we exit is a black car. It’s familiar in that way that this sort of car is familiar to every celebrity. Big, black, with tinted windows. The sort of car I’ve always sat in the back of in LA.

Mark, who has been head of my security team for years, is waiting by the car. Instantly his eyes zone in on mine and Jungkook’s joined hands. It feels like being caught by my dad. Which is not wholly inaccurate given that Mark has been looking after me since Introducing Me.

“You two sneakin’ off,” he says, smirking as he leans against the car. Another man steps out of the driver’s seat, broad and Korean. There’s a fond smile on his face, directed at Jungkook. He tosses a bag to Jungkook.

“You have three hours, we will come too,” he says, sharing a smile with Mark. Jungkook rolls his eyes, opening the bag. It’s full of clothes. He hands me a black hoodie. I pull it on quickly, thankful for the warmth it provides. I ignore everyone’s eyes as I pull the hood up around my cheeks, making sweater paws with the sleeves, and breathe in the Jungkook smell ingrained in it.

“I couldn’t get a change of clothes for you, but you seem happy enough,” Mark says with a wink before slinging himself into the front passenger seat. And I’m left standing there with a blush burning across my cheeks. Jungkook has left me to speak in rapid fire Korean with his security guy. But he keeps looking at me. Our eyes meet, with me still pressing his hoodie to my face, and the little smile he sends me makes my heart stutter. Feeling caught, I fumble for the door and tuck myself inside. It’s a bit of a trial considering that I’m still wearing a gown. In front of me Mark is laughing at my antics. I kick his chair in retaliation. He manages to calm himself as Jungkook and his guy take their seats. Before he starts the car Jungkook’s bodyguard twists around, offering me a handshake.

“I am happy to finally meet you, Miss Aurora, Jungkook speaks of you frequently and highly. I am Kang Chi-Hoon.”

Beside me Jungkook groans, sinking into the seat. I shoot a smile towards him before shaking Chi-Hoon’s hand, bowing as deeply as I can given my position. I like the reminder that I’m not alone in this. That Jungkook is just as far down this rabbit hole as I am. Chi-Hoon’s hand is warm but not clammy, comforting in a way. I might be imagining the soft squeeze he gives me before releasing my hand to face the front. It’s accompanied by a smile that reminds me of Mark. Smiles from security people fill me with warmth. They don’t tend to give those out very often - it serves their profession better to seem intimidating and unapproachable. Chi-Hoon’s smile is soft, so natural that I can’t imagine it not being there. And feels like support, a reminder that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

As Chi-Hoon drives, Jungkook's hand slides into mine. It happens so slowly I don’t even realise it is until his thumb is lightly caressing the back of my hand. There’s still an entire seat between us. More space than us entirely necessary in the privacy of the car and it’s tinted windows. Chi-Hoon and Mark are focusing pointedly on the road, fully aware of what they’re enabling. I squeeze Jungkook’s hand lightly, staring out the window. Even as we speed past the landmarks of my wasted years he grounds me. His warm hand and presence remind me that I’m not her anymore. Not a ghost, high on LSD, wondering if waiting for the traffic lights is worth it when there’s a car speeding towards me. Usually Mark avoids taking me this way, favouring main roads to save me from my memories. Chi-Hook doesn’t know to do that. And on a night like tonight - leaving the Grammy after party early with Jungkook beside me - side streets are a necessary evil. They’re a shield against prying eyes as much the tinted windows.

Our first stop is a Taco Bell, the one near Santa Monica Airport. I forget how big LA is. Even at this time it takes almost an hour to get here from the Staples Centre. Granted, taking the I-10 would have been quicker. But then again, I wouldn’t have gotten to spend an hour holding Jungkook’s hand and stealing blush glances at him with no repercussions. It’s hard not to look at him. There’s this ache in my chest that just calls out for the sight of him. I’m not looking forward to when tonight ends. Going back to texts and facetime calls feels impossible after knowing what the real thing is like.

“What’re you wantin’ Jeon?” Mark asks as we pull towards the drive thru window. I roll my eyes at the tone he’s taken, playing the role of intimidating father when mine is not around. He doesn’t ask what I want because I’ve been ordering the same thing on our midnight food adventures since I was twelve. Jungkook, however, clearly was not expecting this and looks like a deer in the headlights. It takes a second - as he works through the translation in his head - before he replies. I smile at his overly polite and respectful attitude towards Mark. Something that Mark is also enjoying. He takes so much joy from how people perceive him as intimidating - which is good for his chosen profession. In reality he is a golden retriever in human form. Or maybe a husky. I give Jungkook’s hand another squeeze. The way his entire demeanour changes in reply brings back that ache.

Once we have our food - and lots of napkins for me because no one wants to chance getting anything on my dress - Chi-Hoon begins driving again. This time the ride only lasts about fifteen minutes. A laugh bubbles out of me as we slow to a stop looking over Venice Beach, towards the bright lights of Santa Monica Pier. There’s still people about. There are always people about in LA. But there are considerably less than usual. All of them too caught up in their own worlds to notice Jungkook and I.

“You have an hour, use it well,” Chi-Hoon says, twisting round to face us again.

“There are blankets in the trunk, Maia will kill me if y’all get sand on that dress.”

Jungkook gets out first, walking around the car to get the blanket from the boot. I shuffle forward so I’m barely in the chair. Wrapping my arms around the chair and Mark, as far as I can reach, I say quietly;

“Thank you.” I punctuate it with a kiss to his cheek. Pulling back I continue, “but you know Maia is already going to kill you for enabling this, right?”

He shrugs.

“Worth it to see that smile.”

I don’t manage to exit the car gracefully. It’s too high up and my skirt too uncooperative. Jungkook gives me a hand, which stops me from falling over. The added factor of heels really doesn’t help. Why Mark couldn’t have at least sourced me a pair of trainers is beyond me. Jungkook doesn’t let go of my hand once I’m situated on solid ground. Instead he chooses to simply adjust the position so we can walk hand in hand. Before we step onto the sand I tug him over to a bench. Using one hand I fumble with the buckle of my heels. I’m not walking on sand in heels if I can help it. I carry them in my free hand as we finally step onto the sand.

We walk slowly; savouring the quiet and relishing the anonymity. It’s easy to pretend right now. To forget that this can’t be our reality. We shake out the blankets a few feet from the water’s edge. The tide is coming in, but we won’t be here long enough for it to touch us. I push aside the lurch in my chest that comes as I envision Jungkook and I’s future in a series of snatched moments. Now is not the time. I can’t plan the ending when we’ve only just begun. Instead I let Jungkook pull me down onto the blanket, situating me in his arms. His fingers begin to play with my hair, brushing out Digby’s carefully crafted curls. I hum, the sensation dissipating all tension from my body.

“What is your favourite colour,” Jungkook asks, in english after a moment.

“Yellow,” I reply easily. Jungkook nods, one of his hands going to play with the dandelion material of my dress. “Like honey yellow. What’s yours”

“Black.”

“That’s not a colour, it’s a shade,” I quip. Jungkook laughs, the pure joy of the sound feels like flying.

“You’re pretentious,” he replies, switching to Korean. I push myself up - immediately missing his warmth - to look at him incredulously.

“Really? I’m the pretentious one? Mr ‘my favourite colour is black’, ‘I only drink black coffee’ ‘I’m good a literally anything I try’?”

“Okay, okay,” Jungkook laughs, guiding me back down. “You’re right, I'm the pretentious one.”

“Thank you.”

He smiles down at me, brushing the displaced hair off my face. I think he’s doing the same thing I am. Memorising this moment, so there’s something to hold onto when it's over. I want the image of him, bathed in moonlight and staring, like I’m the only thing in the world worth looking at - etched into the backs of my eyelids. Maybe even my soul. Of it’s own accord my hand comes up to trace his features, mapping his face. If this was a movie this would be one of those endlessly giffed moments. The camera would do a close up. The entire fifty foot screen devoted to the view of my fingers, the rose coloured nail polish and silver rings glinting in the moonlight, dancing over Jungkook’s perfect lips. One of those times in the cinema where you can barely breathe. My fingers glide back, tangling into his hair. Using that I bring him into a short kiss. I’ve been yearning to kiss him again since the bathroom. There’s something addictive about it. Being the person Jeon Jungkook doesn’t want to stop kissing. I let him go, this isn’t the best position for prolonged kissing. His eyes flutter open, a soft smile spreading across his face.

As our stolen hour comes to an end I’m sitting up right, leaning back into Jungkook’s chest. Our hands are intertwined inside the pocket of the hoodie. We’ve spent the last hour alternating between making out, like the make free teenagers we never got to be, and just talking. I never want it to end.

“Do you ever want to run away? Give it all up and just fade into obscurity,” I say, more to the moon than Jungkook. I’m not really looking for an answer. But I feel the vibrations in Jungkook’s chest as he hums his acknowledgement.

“Yeah, I’ll never do it. But I think about it a lot. I’ve got it all planned, have since I was about fifteen.”

“You want to tell me.”

“Okay, but you can’t go stealing it,” I joke, twisting to look at him. He laughs, tucking me closer to him. As I turn my face back to the sea he leans to rest his chin on my head. “There’s this town back home that my family used to spend summers in before I was ‘Aurora Kim-Wiseman, when I was just Rory. My mum used to go there as a kid with her family. It’s this little seaside town called Hopeman, barely more than a chip shop and the caravan park we used to stay in. Well, on the cliffs there’s this house with huge windows on the cliffs that’s been for sale on and off for years. I keep saying the next time it all gets too much I’m going to buy it, do it all up and just disappear. I’ll buy a dog, we’ll go on walks down the beach, and no one will know who I am. Or care.”

Jungkook presses a kiss to my head, mumbling into my hair;

“It sounds nice.”

“It is. The sun sets over the sands and sometimes, in the summer, you can see the northern lights. On clear days you can see across the Moray firth to Sutherland… Do you ever miss just getting to exist?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“But you can’t give it up.”

Not yet.”

“I know - me too,” I sigh, curling deeper into his arms.

I stand up first, holding my hand out to help Jungkook up. He doesn’t actually need help,I’ll just use any excuse to touch him. He’s apparently on the same page; taking this opportunity to steal a quick kiss from me. It becomes a pattern. As we fold the blanket each time we come together is punctuated with a kiss, and laughter at our antics. He draws me in for a deeper kiss after I pick up my shoes. One of those ones that make you feel like melting. That makes the whole world shrink down to just your fingers in their hair, their hand digging into your waist, the feeling of their thumbs skimming your rib cage. Just them.

We walk away slowly. I’m pressed into Jungkook’s side, my arms wrapped around his torso. His arm is slung over my shoulder, tucking me even closer so he can intermittently place absent kisses to my hair.

There are two black cars waiting on the street. This is where we say goodbye this time. I want to throw caution out the window, kiss him one last time under the street lamps. But it’s too risky, anyone could see and it would be both our careers on the line. So we stand a respectable distance apart.

“Best first date ever.” It comes out sadder than I thought it would. All longing mixed with already missing the past.

“I’ll take you on a real one next time.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Silence lulls over us for a second.

“I want to kiss you goodnight,” Jungkook says.

“Me too, I breathe. I close my eyes for a second and an idea comes to me. It’s from a tv show, I think, I can’t remember which one.

“Close your eyes,” I say, not opening mine. I wait for him to says he’s doing it before continuing, “Right, so, imagine that my hands are on your cheeks as I rise onto my tiptoes bringing you down so I can meet you halfway and kiss you. It’s soft and slow…”

“I’d rest my hands on your waist, pulling you closer because I can’t get enough. We’d draw back, I’d rest my forehead on yours and say something cliche and romantic like ‘I miss you already.’”

I can’t help the smile that drifts onto my face as I open my eyes.

“I miss you too.”

The smile Jungkook gives me is endlessly bittersweet. We part then, me to one car and him to the other. I curl up in the backseat, pulling Jungkook’s hoodie up to cover my head. Nestling into the smell of him mixed with ocean air I can already feel that ache in my chest. I catch Mark looking at me in the mirror.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow, eh?” He winks. In reply I sink lower in the seat, mumbling,

“Refuse to believe you’ve read Romeo and Juliet.”

“Nope, Love the Baz Lurhmann film though,” he replies before pulling away from the kerb.

#bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x oc #jeon jungkook fic #fic:esos

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