knownaphobe

[knownaphobe]

listen

it’s okay if you’re just straight and cis. you don’t NEED to be anything else.

i’m not saying that to reassure straight or cis people that they’re still good people or whatever, because i consider those kinds of sentiments to be so unnecessary that i question anyone who thinks they’re important enough to preach out loud, you can go outside and no one will beat you up for being those things. you’ll be fine. you are never in danger for being those things like gay and trans people are.

the main reason i’m saying this is because you’ll also be fine on here if you’re those things. you don’t need to try to grasp at straws to find something else to call yourself just to avoid those dreaded labels at any cost - i’m not straight because i don’t get crushes as often as “normal”, i’m not straight because i only have crushes for as long as they’re unrequited, señor ten piedad, knock it off! not only do you not need to, but you look like a total chump doing it. it’s immature and ridiculous and sometimes just ends up being outright insensitive to people who are actually discriminated against in real life for their gender identity or sexuality. you guys come up with these things because you want to not be those things because tumblr has taught you they are Bad. chill. be yourself. just be kind to others. that’s what we want from you, not for you to stop being straight or whatever. just drop all the mogai bullshit, it’s fine, worry about other things, like how you can be a good person through your actions

[knownaphobe]

everyone has a different and complicated relationship with sex. nobody thinks about sex or feels sexual attraction 100% of the time. it’s literally just…. normal to only experience sexual attraction sometimes or when you’re friends with someone. like sure, some people will be able to see a cute stranger and think about having sex with them, but for most people, that just isn’t true. 

asexuality is not a spectrum. you either feel sexual attraction, or you don’t. wanting/not wanting to engage in sexual activity, feeling/not feeling sexual attraction towards people is all normal. only being in love with one person or a few people in your life doesn’t make you demi or grey ace. it’s literally just normal to feel that way. it can be difficult to find someone you really connect with, but that doesn’t mean you should turn that one specific instance of attraction into a sexuality.

the ace community has given no insight as to how much sexual attraction one can feel before they aren’t considered asexual anymore. for example, grey asexuality is something they have come up with, and it’s defined as only feeling sexual attraction sometimes (or under specific circumstances, i believe). that is honestly just a NORMAL way to feel, because you aren’t going to want to have sex with every person you meet. but they still do feel sexual attraction, so how are they ace? or on the ‘ace spectrum’?

a bit of a personal anecdote to kinda back this up? i was discussing ace identities with a former friend about 3 years ago during high school. i identified as ace back then; i no longer do. she commented that “demisexual is a good thing to be right? everyone should be that.” and that really resonated with me because i realised that the tumblr asexual community had led me to think if i didn’t feel sexual attraction to everyone right away, i must be ace. but it’s just normal to be demisexual/demiromantic (and i use these terms under the belief that they do not really exist). just because i didn’t want to have sex with a stranger doesn’t mean i’m ace. 

if you don’t feel any sexual attraction at all, that’s fine, whatever. this is not a post about my opinion on the term asexuality itself. but the ‘ace spectrum’? everyone is on it. that’s why there is no spectrum, because everyone’s relationship to sex and sexual attraction is different. 

[knownaphobe]

Pride month is coming up, so here’s a reminder that the Stonewall riots (in which trans women of color fought for us to have rights) wasn’t about marriage equality, it was about police brutality.

[knownaphobe]

the reason straight men will dress up in drag for lip sync battles and comedy sketches is because it’s a joke to them

the reason straight male athletes will behave homoerotically with each other is because being gay is a joke to them

the reason straight girls will call each other girlfriends and kiss each other for the amusement of men is because being gay is a joke to them

just throwing that out there

[knownaphobe]

also while i’m discussing pride month i don’t wanna see any of those fuck ass calendars that have the month divided into a different orientation per day ok every day in June is for every LGBT person

[knownaphobe]

So are you against the idea of straight people completely?

yes. I don’t think they exist.

people are claiming there’s a lot of evidence out there to prove the existence of “straight” people but if I’m being totally honest with you it’s a crackpot theory. and trust me, I know about crackpot theories. I’m the KING of crackpot theories, and I was coronated, and you can trust me on that.

so this is a thing people have been saying for a really long time, that realistically, these “straight” people would have been around since basically the beginning of time—we’re talking since the FIRST coherent human being, as we know them today. that within this kind of first iteration of human existence, we could have seen a really strong percentage of people who came out genetically “straight”

but we’re basing this off of theory, completely. these people who are, and this is controversial but whatever, who I am saying are essentially conspiracy theorists are claiming that it’s been proven based on analysis of this ancient DNA found in the early humans who were preserved in ice. but that’s just not true.

scientifically, there is precedent to say—definitively—that there was never any such thing as straight people. what you’re seeing when you look at this ancient genetic code is actually the degradation of DNA—we’re looking at these specimens preserved only by time and luck. so this genetic sequence has actually kind of gone through a sort of decomposition, even though it’s fairly preserved.

what these people are claiming is proof of “straight” people is actually just damaged, broken DNA. if these specimens had existed in that exact condition in life, they would not have survived. so what I’m saying definitively is that there is no such thing as “straight” people, outside of massively damaged and degraded genetic sequences that are too ancient to reconstruct.

there has never been a living “straight” person and there never will be.

[knownaphobe]

safe spaces must be exclusive by nature or they are not safe for oppressed people

reminder that this post is not for terfs and womens safe spaces need to be exclusive of men, not of trans women.

[knownaphobe]

version 2: 2017

we’ve all been through a lot this past year, so i thought i’d make another of these, since ive come into my LGBT identity a lot more too. 

[knownaphobe]

hey so just so everyone knows, this morning (june 4th 2018) the supreme court ruled in favor of the baker who denied a gay couple service because they were gay.  the vote was not close either—it was 7-2 in favor of the baker, with ruth bader ginsburg and sonia sotomayor being the only dissenters.  this is a huge blow to our community, and during pride month no less.  i know that a lot of people started to breathe easier when gay marriage was legalized in 2015, but this case is a reminder that the fight for gay rights is far from over.  the homophobic baker cited religious beliefs as his reasoning for denying the gay couple service, which is as we all know a common excuse for violence against our community. 

i know the last thing we want to do during pride month is think about homophobia, but i think it’s important that we remember that the reason why we’re celebrating in the first place is because of people (first and foremost trans women of color) who were fighting for their rights against a system that actively seeked to destroy them.  this court case is just a reminder that these things are still happening, and that our fight is far from over.  when it comes to intracommunity issues, it can be fun and informative to debate one another, but what we need to realize is that the homophobic state is the true enemy of the LGBT community and that wasting energy on fighting one another when things like this are happening is not a good use of our time.  we need to be activists for our community if we want to make any progress, so let’s keep that in mind this pride month.

[knownaphobe]

ok so like yes gay people are superior to straights in every way but at the same time I’m a little worried that jokes like that are part of the reason kids are identifying as a million different micro-identities… like they know they’re not lesbian gay bisexual or transgender but they want the community, they want to feel like they’re part of it… idk this is only a half formed thought but like. You can find community in places that aren’t lgbt if that’s not what you are. you don’t have to find some kind of loophole so that you can call yourself queer. If you’re not lgbt, don’t make yourself be

[knownaphobe]

happy pride my loves!

[knownaphobe]

[knownaphobe]

you literally don’t need to be pan to say you’d date/have sex with a trans perosn. all sexualities are trans inclusive or ur transphobic

[knownaphobe]

♥

[knownaphobe]

hello it’s been a very long time since i last updated this blog but if there are people who still follow me and care, i have very little to no interest in ace discourse anymore (since like last summer). i’m still keeping this url but i’ll probably just be rbing general lgbt and pride related stuff (especially since it’s pride month) as well as documenting my transition, as today i am 2.5 months on testosterone and trying to get a top surgery date for later this year. i also probably won’t be answering any of the asks i’ve amassed over my months of inactivity, which i apologize for.

[knownaphobe]

this is going to piss some straight people off but listen. gay/trans 18 year olds know more about what it means to be lgbt than cishet professors with graduate degrees who have studied it their whole lives do. we may not know everything judith fucking butler has written and we may have been deprived of learning the bulk of lgbt history but cishet people, no matter how many degrees, will never fully understand what it means to be lgbt. they just can’t.

[knownaphobe]

op, this is called misdirected homophobia and it doesn’t make you lgbt lmao

Before you say again that cishet aces don’t belong to the community and benefit from homophobia, let me tell you about my friend.

He’s a cishet demisexual. Probably the flavor of ace the closest to straight. He would still consider himself as straight if he haven’t heard of demisexuality. And before he turned 27, had his first girlfriend, his first sexual experience, and was almost forced to publicly claim to his family he liked sex a lot, everyone thought he was gay.

He suffers homophobic slurs from his father. Her mother endured neverending reproaches from her sister for “having made him this way” during years. He has been put aside from his cousins. The boys at school were less likely to befriend him after they have heard the “rumor”.

Because when you’re not straight, even if you are convinced you are, straight people feel it. His father, men around him, noticed he never looked at women the way they do. And because of the pressure put on men about sex,  and because of heteronormativity, if you’re not straight, you’re considered gay. Period.

Of course the experiences are so different. Of course you don’t feel the same when you receive homophobic slurs depending on you’re actually gay or not. Of course he never feared for his life or his boyfriend’s, because he never had one. Of course he never felt anxious about coming out or not. He never lost friends for being cishet demi. 

But cishet aces don’t benefit from homophobia. When you are saying cishet aces are “basically straight”, straight people may say they are “basically non-existent” or “basically gay.”

Straight people think cishet aces are so weird they don’t want to be associated to them.

When you claim that cishet aces don’t belong to your community, on the other side of the fence, the straight are saying exactly the same.