koifly - Tumblr blog

[koifly]

I want to see nina kissing Kate’s face all over with lipsticks on her black or red plus love your art 

And I’m happy you draw Kate the chaser very happy that she is coming back 

The gfs! (really quick sketch from school)

[koifly]

Born to have deep, philosophical and constructively critical conversations about poetry, art, humans and optimism with people who share the same interests and views on life, forced to only indulge in every day conversations about the most objective and usual topics that mankind knows of with people who think any form of art is cringe.

Please I can't keep having the same boring conversations every day. I have so much deep shit to rant about, I could ramble on and on about my views on art, humans, politics, poetry, literature and life but I have no one to talk about this kind of stuff that I could consider a friend😭 Like, if I started talking about those kind of things with my IRL friends they'd probably think of me as a nerdy and cheesy romance lover/loser and if I told my two online friends they'd probably ignore my messages. I can't do this shit bro, I'm gonna spill all of my emotions on paper again and while that isn't bad I WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE OR AT LEAST TEXT WITH THEM. I WANT TO HEAR OTHERS OPINIONS, DISCUSS AND ARGUE WITH THEM, I WANT TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW FROM THEM, SEE/READ THEIR ART AND UGHHHH I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE DUDE.

[koifly]

Toby headcanons

These are just some quick notes from my AU so I'm not going into too much detail with each headcanon!

-German, no not just German roots but he actually lives in Germany

-complex relationship with physical contact/affection

-talks a lot, but not very often. Either he's talking with no red string or is as silent as an owl's flight

-can't stand having a beard/stubble, HAS to shave or else he'll remind himself a bit too much of his dad

-fucked up hands through biting, picking and scratching

-freckles and moles everywhere, pale skin, eyebags

-dark brown hair+eyes, thick eyebrows, slightly hooked nose

-either dresses midwestern emo or how the marauders fandom portrays Remus Lupin since he thrifts his clothes because of the lack of money

-does the hand-flapping thing when he excitedly talks about something/someone that interests him

-DESPISES raw tomatoes

-pretty distant towards most of the creeps, only exceptions are Natalie, EJ, Kate and James (in that order btw, first is the person he's the closest to, last is the one he is, compared to the other three, most 'distant' to)

-prefers sweet snacks over salty snacks

-does the thumbs up+awkward smile thing whenever he didn't listen to what another person was saying to pretend that he did. Or when he's slightly weirded out by someone

-comparable to dogs, racoons and deers in a way

-prefers dogs over cats

-when stressed in the woods he usually sits down near flowers and rips them out before tearing them into smaller pieces

-that guy does NOT know how to properly take care of himself (forgets to eat, doesn't know how to cook etc...)

-unlabelled sexuality, if he likes someone he likes someone and doesn't really care about gender nor appearance

-still sometimes chews on his cheek which leads to his gash not properly healing

-secretly tries to befriend every damn animal he encounters but quickly gets frustrated and gives up when it ignores him/walks away from him

-gets forced to be Nina's makeup/fashion model sometimes (usually James is Nina's first victim but not always)

-Kate and him have a sibling relationship

-admires EJ in a lot of ways but has too much of a thick skull to actually admit that out loud

-sometimes leaves small handmade gifts and/or things he found in the woods in front of Nat's cabin such as bracelets, necklaces, knifes and all kinds of trinkets

-will instantly accuse others of taking his stuff when he doesn't find it just to find it 2 minutes later

-struggles to comfort others when they are crying/ having a breakdown/ etc......So he usually just awkwardly pats their back or sit beside them in silence

-huge Spiderman fanboy, has a lego Spiderman keychain on him at all times

-5'8 or 5'9 idk tho

-will try to get on peoples nerves just to see how they'll react

-hates authorities and people who act like their the boss/better than him

-will bark and bite (not literally, metaphorically)

-will see a rock and instantly compares it to someone's eyecolor/ haircolor (cough cough Nat cough cough...)

uhhhh yeah, that's some of them I guess

[koifly]

Yipppeee doodles yayy

Most being Ninakate because they have literally infested my brain and won't leave. James listening to Nina ramble about Kate as if he was listening to a podcast. Also, one of my Nat designs

[koifly]

I love my mutuals bro, they are so cool n sweet I appreciate them so much man. I get so happy whenever I see them in my notifications, I audibly go like "HAAAII:3"

Also, if you're a mutual of mine it is very likely that my entire IRL circle needs to endure me yapping about you...sooo....yippee

[koifly]

Being a multi-shipper is fun af.

Like yes bro I love TicciWork but I also enjoy (hehehe en'joy') TicciJack, I absolutely adore NinaKate but think TobyNina is also cute. Like- AAAAAAA THEY ALL HAVE SUCH UNIQUE, INTERESTING AND CUTE BONDS I CAN'T BRO, I LOVE THEM ALL😭

[koifly]

Sometimes I'm worried that I'm 'not actually delusional' and that I'm 'unconsciously faking' it before I remember the THREE months in which I was genuinely convinced that I'm the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Long three months, let me tell you that. I think that probably was my longest and most intense delusion I ever experienced. I just hope that nothing too similar to that happens again and it just stays with the 'usual' delusions bro, I can't live through that shit again istg.

[koifly]

James' opinions on the other creeps/proxies p.1

"Toby, hm? He's alright. It took some time for him to open up a bit and actually indulge in conversations but I appreciate him nevertheless....However it is quite unfortunate how much of a trained guard dog he is though, for the Slenderman I mean.....Barking and biting at anything, almost as if the entire world were a threat to him......But I've seen more sides of him, he can be very pleasant to be around. Sometimes he just talks about the most random things but I like that, it makes me smile.....I do hope that he'll get better and that he'll start to actually start to live and not just survive. Oh well, he'll eventually figure things out on his own, the only thing I can do is to stay beside him."

"Jack is actually a very sweet and kind soul, it was quite the surprise to be completely honest. We talk a lot about life, art and books, he's like a lost shard of my soul in a way.....I like being around him, he makes me feel comfortable."

"Oh, that girl? Natalie is alright, a bit stubborn and quiet but very nice once you talk more. I like her drawings, they interest me.....She hangs a lot around Nina and Toby, right? Well I guess I like her, she seems nice.....Tough young woman, that's for sure..."

"Nina is like a beaming ball of sunshine from what I know and I appreciate her for that. She often just talks to me about all kinds of things and I actively listen to what she is saying.......Like listening to a podcast......Oh, and her sense of fashion is absolutely gorgeous."

".....Hm....Well, we don't talk a lot, Kate and me I mean. But Nina often rambles on and on about her.....Maybe she's into Kate..?....Well, in any way, she doesn't talk much and neither do I but I never had any bad experiences with her."

"Oh, Sally! Yeah, she's a sweet girl but oh god, she has some really bad temper management issues. It's fascinating how much rage and despise is stored inside such a young soul......Scary in some way.......But we get along great, we also live in the same territory of the woods. She's like a little sister to me."

"Brian and Tim...?......Oh those two proxies...I haven't talked to them all that much but they seem okay. Toby sometimes talks about them, annoyed how they act so 'authoritarian'.......But, isn't the Slenderman more authoritarian than Brian and Tim? So why does Toby do whatever it makes him do yet gets all pissy when his two colleagues need something from him?.....Weird...."

[koifly]

Sometimes I just stop talking and texting to people for a couple of days because I feel out of place when I do btw😭

Especially after I did or said something weird or something that made the other person uncomfortable. I obviously always change my behavior and the other person usually is like, 'it's okay dw' but jesus christ- I won't stop overthinking. Rationally I know that the topic is closed and that everything is fine and that they don't hate me but emotionally, I still somehow think that it'd be best if I just, idk, leave that person alone and never speak to them again because I'm scared of being annoying.

IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. LIKE, I PISS MYSELF OFF. WTF MAN, WHY CAN'T MY BRAIN JUST IDK FUNCTION LIKE THE ONE OF A NOT SO WEIRD PERSON???

One of the main problems is that I don't think before texting. I really don't, I just say whatever pops up in my head and that often leads to misunderstandings or weird situations. The fact that I frequently overshare doesn't make it any better. Similar to how I speak IRL btw but the thing about me actually, personally talking to someone is that I don't talk much. But I also kinda talk a lot? I don't know how to describe it, like I don't talk often but when I talk I yap so much. And because I don't talk often with people and rather stay quiet n daydream and shit, I think I'm slowly forgetting how one should speak. My stutters have gotten worse, I forget words a lot, I say things that are not appropriate in situations and I just talk wrong things at the wrong times. And then the cycle starts again, saying weird stuff, getting a feeling of being annoying, isolating myself, not talking a lot, getting to talk, saying weird stuff.

Idk man maybe it's just that I tend to isolate myself whenever I feel as if I'm just being annoying, which is OBVIOUSLY not good. But idkkkkkk man

Whenever I do speak I just feel like an annoying dog that won't stop barking when asked to. They never tell me to be silent but their stares bore into me like a knife. It's uncomfortable. I don't know why I even try to make connections when everytime I do I just ruin it by being the person I am. At first people are fine with me, often even like me and want to talk to me but the more they spend time with me, the less they want to be around me.

Holy shit I'm really just pouring my heart out rn, I'm so sorry wtf😭

But anyways, I had a fairly descent day today and got an okay grade in maths (which is good!) and idk, cool yet normal day

yippeee

[koifly]

'I love April weather!' 'I love spring weather!'

Clearly, you've never experienced a German April. Which is good, you don't want to experience it, it literally snowed on April 1st two years ago after the days before had high temperatures. Nature really doesn't like us here. Now the temperatures are going into winter mode after a really warm weekend and it pissing down like idk what.

Anyways, I still love April, one of my fav months but the weather really is fucking annoying

[koifly]

About James' backstory

So as you can tell, I haven't posted the backstory my OC James yet.

But that will change in a few weeks. I'm currently working on it but school and private problems often gets in the way of it. I'm not quite sure when it will be finished but I wanted to say that the story will have illustrated parts. I mean I gotta use my 'skills' in a way, right?

General information about the story:

The story on its own will not have any type of direct connection to the Slenderman. So no Slenderman showing up outside a window or something like that. Although, it will partly play in my AU of the forest in which the Slenderman resides in. The proxies do exist in that universe, as well as some of the other creeps. While working on James' story I'm also working on my own AU of creepypasta so there will definitely be connections.

This may be a surprise but James does NOT have a canon romantic interest, a bit different than the art I post of him with my version of Toby. I personally think that the romance is a bit unnecessary for his story and non of the proxies will be directly involved in his story for now. Maybe a small, subtle appearance or traces of one of them being near James, but no actual conversation.

I will mention this again when I actually post the story but here is the trigger warning list (for now):

-SA, abusive behaviour of authority

-Mention of SH

-Mention of delusions and hallucinations (I'm not sure if this TW is necessary but just in case)

What even is/does do James post-incident?

James is a sort of vengeful spirit. He is going to murder the man that has assaulted him, but not actively. Using psychological torture is his thing, so he will inflict no direct physical harm to the man. James is NOT a serial killer. He does not lure in people, he does not kill innocent people, he does not hurt wandering humans. His first and last murder will be the one that assaulted him. After that he will wander around the forest, like some sort of ghost. People are able to see him, but only how he WANTS to be perceived. I mentioned this in a post earlier, James has two official appearances.

1. Realistic post death corpse. I think the name sums it up pretty well, he just looks pretty disfigured, rotten and torn in that form.

2. Post death spirit. In this second form, he really just looks like how he did when he was alive. He still has blood running down his body, he still has bruises and wounds but in a way, he still looks alive. He doesn't look disfigured nor rotten. The closest non creepypasta character I can compare him too in that form is the final form of Chandramukhi in the first movie 'Chandramukhi' from the year 2005. (Great, nostalgic horror/comedy Tamil movie btw)

Just to make things clear, in no way whatsoever is James mentally well. He has schizophrenia, social anxiety and body dysmorphia. He is extremely sensitive to his surroundings and empathetic towards others. And no, I don't mean empathic in a healthy way but in a way that other's moods and problems directly affect him. He is a soul that will feel the same amount of fear, stress, anger, sadness, whatever feeling you want as the person he is currently spending time with. This causes him to be stressed and/or overwhelmed most of the time. So yes, he is a really nervous person, yet I don't want him to be perceived as some sort of 'soft boy'. James is a 21 years old male who was in university for a psychology major before he was murdered. I'm currently giving him a slight redesign so that his body and physique actually look appropriate to his lifestyle. He is a bharatanatyam dancer, he helps out in his sister's garage and regularly hits the gym. That guy is athletic af and not some damsel in distress just because his bharatanatyam clothes are pretty.

If you have any questions about James and/or my creepypasta AU, my ask box is open:)

(pls excuse any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language)

So uhhh, yeah. I hope I'll finish the story and the illustrations soon. I still have some other art WiP's that I need to finish too but it'll come together.

Have a wonderful day/night:D

[koifly]

Getting stupid nicknames by friends is the funniest shit ever. Like yeah bro, I'm so Short King Dwarfinant the 3rd. Absolutely. Totally not weird at all, especially not in public. Nah, definitely not.

[koifly]

One of my biggest interests at the time: @creepedverse

Idk, I love the whole concept and I love the individuality of each character, hence why I'm trying to draw every single one! Obviously, I still need to draw some but this is what I have for now:3

@necroromantics @crushedsweets @diasartstuff @redevilries

[koifly]

Little something for Tobin's birthday:D

@necroromantics

[koifly]

"Look at what they're wearing....Wtf is wrong with them, can't they just, idk, look normal?"

Can you just, idk, stfu???☺️

God damn bro, if you don't like how another person expresses themselves then keep quiet about it, literally no one wants to hear you rant over how a person is weird for not conforming to social norms. Jesus Christ, it's not that fucking hard to just keep your mouth shut instead of being judgemental.

"But, but- They dress so weirdly! Did you hear how they talk?? A-and have you seen how they act?? Th-tha's so unusual!! They w-will leave kids confused with their w-woke lifestyle!!🥺"

Please for god's sake just stop talking. No one wants to hear that shit coming out of your mouth, absolutely no one.

The audacity that some people have bro.....

[koifly]

Being friends with adults irl is so weird.

Like fuck you mean, YOU, an over 18 year old person is willing to hang out with ME, a 15 year old kid???

LIKE I'M HAPPY THAT WE'RE FRIENDS AND ALL BUT GIRLY POP?WHY ME OUT OF ALL PEOPLE???🤨

No but seriously, I love my older friends so much bro. All of my older friends and I have a sort of found-family relationship, a sibling dynamic basically. Like damn, even my parents treat them as if they were my older siblings😭

(Like, I'm not kidding even some of my online friends who are older than me and live near me regularly get invited to dinner at my place from my parents. ESPECIALLY one specific friend)

But yeah, I love them so much man, absolute sweethearts.

[koifly]

I stand for my name btw. I am in a constant mood of joy and silliness.

I could've literally cried over something two minutes ago and then I'm just like:

"....My parents may hate me but life is going GOOODD"

I'm just not capable of hating people, especially after they did something bad in the past. I literally can't be resentful because after some days after someone hurt me, my thoughts are:

"Oh well, shit happens, humans make mistakes and being angry over things for a long time isn't gonna help me. I love them anyways."

So yeah, I'm Joy, quite literally.

Part of the reason why I even chose that name in the first place along with the fact that 'Joy' is a male name in Tamil (my mother tongue)