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kornelia-yells-in-the-void · 2 months ago

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detour that lingered

✰ helly r x fem!reader // 4k

✰helly's fed up with lumon and needs a distraction. that makes the two of you.

clicks.

so. many. clicks.

thousands of them made in the past five minutes. maybe more.

you're not really sure. all done by your work colleagues while your hands rested on the desk. cold and almost lifeless. work-wise speaking, anyway.

wide, luminous square of light above you started producing annoying buzz-like hum three weeks ago, exactly on tuesday at 10:03 a.m.

it's drilling in your head but somehow, no one else seems to be bothered. you did report the issue. and in return got million-dollar response from the multimillion-dollar company saying:

"thank you for reporting the malfunction. we will do our very best to make sure your surroundings are as comfortable and enjoyable as we can. but remember, be grateful for what you have, because Lumon has your back."

milchick's refined words, of course.

delivered with his wide smile that fools concerningly big amount of people. well, minus the one if you think more thorough.

time passes agonizingly slow here.

staring at the screen and scattered numbers that still, after months in here, don't really seem to make sense.

you glance down at the bracelet on your wrist. you don't know anything about it. nor the clothes you bought, or where. or how come you picked just this color of the shirt but not a different one. why does your pen holder keep moving even though you swear you put it somewhere else. who in the right mind decided forest and football field green was the office aesthetic?

it's trapping.

sometimes, when you are bored out of your mind, which happens way too often, the green of the desks and flooring all morph into one big green blob, obscuring your vision and you don't know how it happens except blink a few times until it disappears. but lately it stopped.

and you know who's to blame, partially that is. for snatching a few seconds of so rare and precious serenity away.

ever since helly replaced petey, red came into the picture and it was no longer monotonous green.

it's always peeking in the corner of your eyes. one minute it looks like she just left the photoshoot for whatever fancy office magazine out there. the next, it's ruffled by her hands and she's two numbers away from losing her sanity.

but you like her. as a coworker, obviously. well, okay. a bit more than that. but that's debatable and confined deep inside of you for now.

it's just extremely refreshing another person recognizes the deranged, whatever the fuck this is, going on in the building. and they don't only nod along and go chase numbers on autopilot.

she's funny, terribly sarcastic, talented at giving you side eye when something stands out—most importantly, biggest Lumon hater next to you.

others are okay. to put it plainly.

dylan is funny on occasions but too hooked about reaching 100% for some reason. at times it makes you feel bad. to each their own.

irv is undeniably a wise, old guy outside the work. the one that knows a little bit of everything about, well everything. and he loves art.

mark is mark. sometimes there, sometimes lost in thought. carrying that specific and awkward type of humor that makes you feel like you should laugh but also unsure if it was a joke or just a remark that sounded like one. but you're more than welcome for anything that stands out in these four walls.

but helly? she actually asks things.

your first interaction with her was a disaster. which is amazing, by the way. she reminded you of yourself on the first day. a shitty attempt at escaping you did, running in circles and stuck in a loop of doors and hallways. each leading to nowhere hopeful.

you sat back and waited, watching it unfold. feeling slight remorse of how good it felt, knowing she will realize there's no way out. that will make the two of you.

that was helly's first warm welcome here and you couldn't relate more.

by the time milchick caught up with her, you were sure you still hold a record of how many times you saw mr. milchick in one shift. about twenty three.

you should ask helly how many times she ran into him that day.

a day after, you saw her hand pulling the divider down, scooching forwards a bit. a sweet, covert whisper reached you.

"do you know what the fuck is going on here?" heavy emphasis on 'what the fuck'.

you had to just stare at her frozen, caught between "oh my god finally" and "wait, will it be worth it?" and then, since it was the best thing that has happened since you got here, you grinned like an idiot. thanking kier internally.

but also, you felt pity for her. you tried, you complained, oh so many times but met a dead end street. you know milchick hates to see your head tilted and eyes narrowed. forming an actual smart question that throws the unusual work conditions in the spotlight. milchick being milchick, just gives you his programmed response.

if she keeps this up, you owe her a drink.

somehow. if lumon introduces alcohol.

"what you thinking about?"

her voice dragged you back to reality. you blink, shifting your focus off the screen where number 6 is floating like it's waiting for you to do something about it.

helly's watching you, head propped on one hand, looking amused. her eyes—lumon's os standard shade of whatever blue—should blend perfectly into the dullness of this place.

but they don't. somehow they don't.

you grew fond of it. maybe.

you shift in your seat. recalling what have you been truly been dozing off about. but it's a failed attempt.

"just your usual, loyal mdr employee stuff. thriving to reach 100."

she snorts, quietly. and your chest feels weirdly warm. it's been happening a lot lately. since you cracked the code of her sarcasm.

god. you're really starting to pick up mark's jokes.

"hmmm." she draws it out like she's considering something. "shame. i thought you had some mastermind prison break plan in the making."

you smirk, letting your eyes glaze over her features just a little. "maybe i do?"

helly raises a brow. "that so?"

"you know, almost a year here does wonders to your imagination. maybe my outtie is married to a drug lord with, like, fifteen escape routes if we get ambushed. therefore my talent."

you sigh and add, "but instead i'm stuck here. like a bird in a cage, forgetting what flying is like."

she narrows her eyes like she's analyzing you. but it feels different than when milchick does it. better. "oh, wow. that's the most poetic thing you ever said."

"you haven't been here long enough then."

she clicked her tongue smoothly, "gotta make sure to use most of my time on that then."

irving's head peeks out from the green barrier. "ladies. more work, less talk."

helly throws you the 'how the hell did he even hear?' look. you just shrug.

"breaks soon anyway, irv." mark chimes in, though he sounds disinterested about the idea of break. you get him. not much opportunities to get your mind to shut off besides the vending machine.

"yes i know, mark. that doesn't mean we can all chit-chat."

"are you trying to be the good guy here just because she's new?" dylan said, leaning back in his chair that made a screeching sound. he turned his attention to helly, dead serious. "don't listen to him. his bathroom breaks? he's been sneaking off to see some guy from—"

"dylan, that's irrelevant—"

"no it's not, irving." dylan keeps going but you were too busy being overwhelmed with helly jabbing you in the ribs.

you flinch. "what?"

helly, still pressed lightly your side, doesn't even look guilty about it. she's close. close enough her knee is barely brushing against yours. enough that the space left is borderline nonexistent but you can feel it anyway. and it feels like there's a heavy boulder on your back.

it's new. but it feels nice.

when and why did she get so close without you noticing?

she tilts her head a bit and you can feel her hair enveloping your shoulder. it sounds ridiculous but it feels like it's burning straight to your shirt.

"come with me to the supply room."

it's not a question but more of a silent order. your throat dries up and it feels burning. you shift and your hands, like they got a mind on their own, latched onto the nearest thing it landed which was your shirt. you smooth it out for no apparent reason.

"for what?"

"i don't know. office supplies?" she deadpans like it should've been obvious. it is obvious. you just couldn't focus.

you quickly dissect the desk. there are more than enough pens in the holder. sticky notes are untouched and started to collect dust. two hundred and thirty eight of yellow notes last time you counted. judging the way helly's desk is the same, you catch on it.

yeah. this is not about the damn supplies.

helly wheels back out of the way, making room. still waiting on you get along with the idea.

so you push your chair like it's an announcement. irving gave you a quick, iffy look like he saw this as an opportunity to get dylan off his back and shift the topic on you two. but before he could, you stretch your arms out like you're letting out the negative energy of intense, office labor.

"gonna grab some stuff," you claim, standing. "ms. helly, you coming?"

she's already up, rolling her eyes. "obviously."

dylan just snickers, mark doesn't even bother giving a second glance.

the pair footsteps barely make a sound against the tedious green carpet. competing with the noise of the ever buzzing lights.

you wonder if the redhead next to you, who's on a very serious mission to reach the supply closet, ever noticed those little things. and it's not like you're in a rush to get back to the desk either.

when you reach the room she wastes no time. helly briefly stepped aside to let you enter first before following behind. the second you stepped in, discerning same smell of paper and metal hit you.

helly swings the door shut behind you with more force than needed.

she exhales. loudly. did it echo that much or helly r. just pulls you into different realm by doing frankly anything?

you catch her breath hitch for a split second. it looks like she craved this. this getaway or whatever you name it. her shoulders relax against the wall and you feel weirdly happy for her. you would like to be the reason she feels at ease, but you can't just self proclaim the title "i made helly feel good" without her approval.

that sounds wrong the more you repeat it in your head.

"finally," she mutters under her breath, sinking in the surface deeper before pushing off.

"one more minute there and i'd throw myself in the printer or something and hoped for the best."

you huff a quiet laugh, adding, "tried and it didn't work."

helly smiles, one corner of her lips tugging up. and you should probably not stare for too long. it's inappropriate. that's what they say. i mean, it's logical. so you look around the room and—wow.

nothing changed. dry and uninspiring as always—stacks of papers fanatically sorted by colors, and too many cardboard boxes with useless serial numbers.

"so," you start, not knowing what is it that you're about to say. or why does your mouth run faster than the brain. and why does the room feel smaller, like someone turned the heat up.

and why is helly, now on the opposite side of the room, suddenly so engrossed in a shelf of supplies she's seen a thousand times—so engaged it feels like she's not here for a moment.

you sigh, slow and even. "what do we need?"

helly smirks like she was waiting for you to ask. "nothing really."

"i figured."

helly watched you for a second more before grabbing a pack of staplers off the shelf. not really doing anything worthwhile with it—just to keep her hands busy. her fingers tap against the box restlessly, spinning it around, shaking it, repeating the cycle. like she desperately wants to be occupied, and it made you anxious.

"needed an excuse," she admits, voice just a bit hushed but not unheard.

"for?"

she shrugs, giving the box one last twirl before setting it down. her mouth twitches like she's holding a grin from escaping, eyes tracing from the shelves to the floor, to the lonely chair in the corner meant for short employees, and then you.

her lower lip disappears between her teeth, careful not to ruin the lipstick. she leans back against the closet, hands slipping and intertwining behind her. the distance between is only a few steps away but it felt like she's a scorching furnace right in front of you.

"maybe to get the fuck away from that desk and pretending like any of this shit is normal," she dips in the closet even further, voice laced with a raw honesty. "i mean, who the fuck hunts scary looking numbers for a job?" helly snorts, openly fed up with it all.

she expects you to understand. and you do. of course you do.

"and, like… you're pretty much the only one that gets it." helly adds softly and again, the thing in your stomach twists, turns and before you know it, she had you smiling.

you shift your weight, mirroring her stance without meaning to. it's the most natural thing you've done since carving out fruit in shape of kier's face and putting an x sign over it of for some useless lumon anniversary thing.

"alright then, miss helly r. tell me everything."

her eyes flicker with curiosity, and maybe slight suspicion—but she grins anyway. "everything?"

"yeah. i can't team up with someone who's also really keen on burning this shithole down without knowing them."

helly scoffs, crossing her arms but there's amusement behind that. "we are severed, you know. think we're kinda missing 90% of the lore here."

"no, not like that." you explain, taking a break to think. "tell me…tell me who do you think is the worst dressed here? or who's outtie has a dungeon in their basement?"

her lips quirk and it feels like a veil of something unspoken just fell over your figures—the realization, maybe a relief, a shimmer of whatever the third option may be.

helly tilts her head and considers, "worst dressed? gotta be milchick."

you raise a brow playfully, "milchick? really?"

"yes, like a hundred percent." she lazily slumps forward and shakes her head, "that man looks like he lost a bet and has to walk around like that. and the moustache?"

you let out a laugh, staring down at the floor. clutching your shirt with one hand dramatically. "you don't like a moustache? helly r?"

helly rolls her eyes, giving you a look before pointing at you. "okay, your turn. dungeon."

"mark."

"no fucking way."

"it's always the quiet and normal ones you least expect."

she clicks her tongue in denial, "he's too stuck up for that. but hear me out," she leans as if she's about to reveal mindblowing rumour, "dylan."

there's not much you can disagree with to be honest. "well—fine, i can see it." you take in a deep breath, same smell of stale paper hanging in the air.

"who's the best looking around here?"

"wow, i met like less than ten people."

"that's more than plenty."

helly exhaled sharply, eyes wandering everywhere but at your direction. "well," she dragged out, "definitely not cobel. unless you're into having affair with your boss that's thirty years older than you."

now, that made you dwell on it in silence more than helly would like. to the point her expression started to transform into a concerning one.

you found it amusing, although it's better to start explaining yourself.

"i can look past that if it means i can get out of here." nice save. holds bit truth to it.

redhead was still worried, wheels turning in her head and she nodded in flimsy approval. "you know what? i like how determined you are to the point you'd get with our boss."

helly laughed. and for the first time in ages she felt okay.

okay. safe. distracted. something she thought was impossible ever since she got here. it wouldn't be a stretch for her to say it's addicting. you're addicting and this impromptu trip to get away. she'd rather stay here and count papers one by one with you than be in the office, divided by desks.

she scratches her head in thought and clears her throat. "milchick can look charming but he would just turn out to be an ass."

"and the moustache."

"dealbreaker. immediate."

"and mdr candidates?"

the silence eats her alive and she wonders if you can see it. she supposes you wait for her to continue. but it feels like someone drove nails in her shoes and wrapped chains around her. she fixes her posture. paces in place for a moment, aware there's nothing more comfortable to lean on in here anyway. but she knows better than not to speak what's on her mind.

"i guess it's you." man. straight to the point.

not mark? isn't that a delight. "me? really?"

you watch her furrow her brows and swear she looks offended. "yeah, what? who do you think i was gonna say? irv—"

"—i don't know." helly watched your short lived and secretly nervous detour, dragging your shoulder against the closets that stopped once you faced her. arm length of distance. "maybe mark. you hesitated." your finger pointing at her made her feel like a kid sent into a corner.

"i was thinking."

"about mark?"

she glares at you, but it lacks any real malice. helly stays there. she doesn't move or back away. and you start to notice things that you have noticed before, but it feels almost privileged and paralyzing.

yes, she always smelled memorable—you realized that on the very first day she arrived because it was new and not industrial-made air freshener. her perfume lingered in the elevator at the beginning and end of every shift, right now it's seizing every sense you have. and you let it, like it's a matter of life or death.

before you can be smarter about this—not that you want to—your eyes dart over her face. the maroon of her hair catches the white glow of the room like copper. there's a faint scar near her temple, scarcely hidden under the strands. familiar dips of her smile lines are harder to make out, replaced by lips set firm—but not too firm. like they want to say something. but they never do.

no voices, no music, no window that casts wind and traffic, yet it feels like your breaths would suppress all of it if given.

on paper, this looks like a terrible idea. but in practice? it's rare and tempting. especially for a lumon employee.

you reach out to put one hand on the nape of her neck, hesitating halfway. helly took it as a implied question of yes or no. she could tell that much. instead of saying it with fear her voice might fail her, she decided to suck it up and take your hand and guide it where you wished. fingers nearly intertwining like you've both done this hundred of times before, creating a habit.

helly was never this close to someone. physically and mentally.

she doesn't know what her outtie does, with who, how or when. does she have a spouse? kids? is she widowed or divorced? will her outtie ever run into you and remember? any of this?

a brisk worry that you should be getting back to the office dashed through your mind. but it was discarded as quickly as it came.

"listen—i," helly whispered. there was everything and nothing in her head at the same time. exhausted of this job and every day being the same as the one before.

she swallowed harshly, "i know we can't be doing this by—by some dumb company rules but it…"

"it's okay if—"

"no. i mean, it feels right," she nods carefully, like she's convincing both of you. "it feels nice."

neither of you know how to do this properly. or if there's a way to do so. there's a general idea of it. kissing, sex, intimacy and all that comes along.

after all, lumon didn't pass a rule forbidding such profane acts for no reason.

helly smiles faintly, delicately putting her hands on your waist and tugging you closer. fingers dancing on your hips. it was all done in a tender manner, making you wonder she pulled out this sudden confidence out of her pocket while you were daydreaming.

perhaps she was always like this. just another thing to uncover about helly r. amongst many.

it was mutual, bound to happen and next to world ending.

your heads tilted in sync, felt her hands froze on your waist and yours were trapped under her hair upon contact. helly's nose bumped against your cheek along with her bangs tickling your forehead. her lips were lightly chapped, inviting you in. deeper and deeper for more without knowing what that 'more' signifies.

helly backed away and it took her absurd amount of willpower to do so. she rested her forehead against yours. breaths combining together, fast paced like you've both been running down the hallway from entirety of lumon.

"i don't know how to do this," you barely made it sound coherent.

she chuckled, and for this newfound proximity, it ringed in your ears differently. "me neither but it's good."

with no effort helly reeled you back in, fingers brought back in life—now gripping at your clothes. it was more eager and natural. her lips chased yours and she let low groans sneak past her. it was a new sound to you, that caused you to lose control over your own hands too. tangled in her hair that was unsurprisingly soft. you tried to pull her even closer but it was nearing the impossible.

do you even have the right to do all of these things right now?

your back hit the closet. making the irrelevant boxes shake, threatening to fall down. helly's hot breath was all that you could feel as it slid down your cheek, to the jaw and up to your ear. making you shudder. she didn't give one single shit about the cameras and mics.

"how—how far can i-we go?"

seriously? she slightly winced when you tugged her by the roots just to see her better. she looked down at you with some feral look you haven't seen before. panting and gasping. hair disheveled by your fault.

"i don't know helly. all the way."

she doesn't know either. she has faint idea that will involve bunch of improvising but she doesn't care. if needed, she can survive off doing just this.

before you could react, she grasped your jaw gently. forcing you to tear your eyes away from her and be taken care of.

helly settled between your neck, leaving kisses on your collarbone and what's exposed. you smell of something so sweet and distinctive it's like a drug to her. waiting on your reactions because she can't be too greedy. even if she wants to.

"fuck—helly," it was overwhelming. and hearing you, all torn apart, made her weak of all sorts. making her moan near your ear, which was like a last straw of the day.

"helly…i-just…"

"i know," helly breathed out. she feels it too, if not twice as intense than you. but she can't compete right now.

her hands travelled down, lower and lower and you bucked your hips into nothing. she let you guide her lips back, cupping her face. she registers no one in the whole fucking department ever handled her with such care. she allows herself to sink in your touch.

and before you reconnected, your noses bump again. uneven breaths and surrendering knees and—

"so, uh—break is like, almost finished. hope you're all good in there."

mark.

helly hoped she will never hear any of them again.

"is he fucking with us right now?" she speaks with eyes still closed. either in disbelief and let-down or to get back together.

"yeah-yeah, some stuff kinda—fell off the shelves so we had to clean up." you yell out. holding onto helly's shoulders for support.

"oh. yeah, happened to me month ago or so. just uh, try to get it cleaned up in five minutes."

you looked back at the redhead that stared like she had received a letter from lumon saying they approved of her quitting the job.

"what?"

"this is not finished. it's not over, we ain't done, we—"

"—okay, okay. you had your chances to get me in the supply room before and now you want to make up for all of them. i don't think so." you teased like you don't wanna stay here forever. hoping the handle broke or something so you're caged in.

"yes and no. i didn't know what i was missing out."

if someone was to tell helly you have some magnetic superpower in you, she would have believed it. she doesn't want to remove her hands off you, or let the heat you two created go back to usual lumon's cold, or see you in the office hunting numbers rather than her lips.

but she has to adapt and get her way somehow. and she will. win both you and that 'leave' letter.

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kornelia-yells-in-the-void · 2 months ago

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one little spark.

dialogue prompts from one little spark by ellie banks.

you little asshole.

everything is annoying today. everything.

i've always liked a little scorched earth.

i've never seen the point of going out with quiet dignity and grace.

you like problems.

whatever i do, i do right.

a combination of age and life have left me absolutely fuckless.

you don't need me to take care of you.

has anyone ever told you that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

being single is so damned weird.

i'm fond of crashing through caution tape.

if he doesn't take care of you, i'll hunt him down and kill him.

starting small is not in my wheelhouse.

you never seem afraid of being wrong.

how did you get here so fast?

always the dangerous choice.

you don't understand what you saw.

you deserve to have some closure.

sometimes i want to burn this place to the ground.

i'm not sure if it's a dream or a memory.

shut out what you can't control, and focus on what you can.

i try not to engage in wishful thinking, but sometimes it's hard.

maybe it's me. maybe it's that 'bad blood' shit.

if i can't trust you, i can't trust anything.

are you taking care of yourself?

what does 'normal' look like right now?

cheating in your head isn't a thing.

i want to figure out how to embrace what i have left.

do i have _____ on my face?

it's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing. that's normal.

i don't feel like anything about me is very normal.

i keep grudges like other people keep cats.

sometimes you have to take steps forward, even if they're not in the shoes you would have chosen.

i couldn't stand letting you see me struggle.

everyone has secrets.

you weren't a mistake to me.

no one's ever looked at me like that but you.

it's okay to not know what you feel.

i want you to never blame yourself. for anything.

i was a little bitch to you, and i'm sorry.

why do people like uncertain women so much?

if you were happy, you wouldn't be here.

simmer down, kid.

this isn't a happy place for me.

guilt is different from shame.

what's the difference between god and a surgeon? god doesn't think he's a surgeon.

i always end up telling you my secrets.

how do you think that would've gone, you and me?

____ felt like the safe choice.

i know you can't rebuild from ashes, but you can build something new on top of them.

i would have been there for you, if you'd have let me.

did everyone know but me?

i'm married, not dead.

at least i say what needs saying.

it's not actually hard to be nice to you.

i don't have time for feelings. i've got shit to do.

you're kind of an asshole.

if you can't handle a woman scorned, don't scorn one.

life is a lot more complicated than anybody wants to believe.

i felt like a teenager when i saw you.

you're as afraid as i am.

why aren't you angry with me?

i want us to get to know each other again.

it has been a very long time since i've been on a date.

i don't know why anyone would choose to be single.

you fascinate me.

i don't have time to sit around and marinate in subtlety.

you've been kind of a secret fantasy of mine for a while now.

i always knew i was the main character. thank you for supporting my narcissism.

this will never be over, will it?

no matter what, i want to know you.

i'm going to pour wine.

i really like you. i wasn't supposed to.

i'm trying to just enjoy the moment, but i'm bad at it.

i didn't have words for it then.

i thought maybe things would improve with distance.

when did we finish having all our easy conversations?

you've never liked sunrises. you hate getting up early.

you're my girl. you always were.

for once in my life, i wanted to be the one who got picked.

i wanted to make you my enemy, but you aren't, are you?

you aren't innocent, but you aren't evil, either.

i'm never the bigger person. not for the hell of it.

i don't know if i knew anything about my own life.

i'm not sure what i'm remembering and what i'm dreaming.

the truth will come for you, if you don't come for it first.

'should' doesn't fix anything.

was i ever there for you, or did i just torture you?

i remember the first time you held my hand.

in my lowest moment, you kept me safe. from myself, from everything.

i tried not to think about it. i didn't tell anyone.

i'm really not mature enough for this.

timing has never really been my strong suit.

i'm just hormonal. it's making me weird.

i wanted to make sure that you were taken care of.

don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

i want to be as strong as you are. that's all i want.

i don't see a way forward without you, one way or the other.

you made my life here not hell.

you can be sorry and still forgive yourself.

your conscience isn't my problem.

i'm not one to argue with fate.

you got your character arc, after all. good for you.

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