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a.d. III id. apr. • keats-shelley house museum

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20. What's something you learned this year?

This might be silly, but I really learnt only now how to properly care for my nails – I didn’t grow up with someone who showed me…anything really related to taking care of myself (from basics like period hygiene to more complicated things like styling my hair). As a result, I never felt very confident in my skills and knowledge related to these sort of things. I’m instead now ‘parenting’ myself in a way and teaching myself these skills in a way that makes me indeed confident (rather than feeling like I’m doing something I haphazardly copied from friends).

List could go on – especially thinking about ‘on-the-job’ as I’m mostly taking courses in my first year ‘cause the point is indeed learning, but also when it comes to cooking, which I put a lot of time towards (often cooking new vegetables or with new techniques)

++ end of the year ask game

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End of the year Asks

Song of the year?

Album of the year?

Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Movie of the year?

TV show of the year?

Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

Favorite actor of the year?

Game of the year?

Best month for you this year?

Something that made you cry this year?

Something you want to do again next year?

Talk about a new friend you made this year

How was your birthday this year?

Favorite book you read this year?

What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?

Post a picture from the beginning of the year

Post a picture from the end of the year

A memorable meal this year?

What’re you excited about for next year?

What’s something you learned this year?

What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

Favorite place you visited this year?

If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?

Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

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My life goal is to be a woman who curates things beautifully

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by Emily Dickinson

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— Allison Bornstein, Wear it Well

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By Jef Bourgeau

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While most of us like the idea of looking good - and feeling good - time and again our closets are filled with things that we don't really love. And even with the things we do love, we often have no idea how to wear them. We buy in a rush, we get dressed in a rush, and the result, too often, is that we look and feel... rushed.

— Allison Bornstein, Wear it Well

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It has been five months of tumult – I feel uprooted and a mess. It’s probably longer since I wrote an update of sorts, so here you go:

I submitted my dissertation (for which I got an A!), completed my master’s, received an award for best diss in my major (!) and started a PhD. The PhD somehow is the only thing going well in my life. I’m on track with my courses, my supervisor is amazing, I receive enough funding, I have a tentative research topic, my colleagues are great fun. It’s also an uncertain environment where there’s no given plan to succeed, which doesn’t suit me the best. Creating rigor and structure is the way I’ve been able to not lose my mind. I’m afraid of not being able to publish good quality research, of not being a great teacher, of struggling in the job market because I chose a lower ranked university. I try not to think about it, but the doubts have accompanied me throughout the semester. I feel like I’ve left behind all of my hobbies – not that I don’t have free time, but I spend a lot of it hanging out with my colleagues/friends. I haven’t read much, I haven’t gone climbing, I haven’t gone hiking as frequently as I’d like, and I don’t have much outside of work. This has to change.

I also started therapy over the summer. I had been ready for a while, but by then I had a concrete idea of what I wanted to work on & I had found a psychotherapist I thought was a great fit (and she is!). I’m not sure why I hadn’t considered online counselling before (NOT the scam that is BetterHelp; there’s plenty of qualified therapists that counsel online), but it gave me the possibility to choose among many options and find someone that understood narcissistic abuse and did EMDR. It’s good. It helps. It has also opened a flood of things I need to think about.

Among all of this mess, I broke up with my boyfriend. I’m proud of my choice, but I find being single difficult, as I give a lot of importance to relationships because I hope for my partner to provide me with the love and affection I didn’t receive throughout my life. I want to be able to give myself that love – and eventually be in a relationship, but one that fits with what I value: a strong emotional connection, mutual commitment to a future together, effort. I’m not there yet.

In all of this, writing my thoughts down has help incredibly. I’ve reverted back to pen and paper, which I can’t recommend enough. It’s freeing.

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the mood for 2025

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shocking news (to me only): I'm an intj

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people will say “mediterranean dishes/culture/architecture” only to mean southern european countries like spain greece and italy. you know the mediterranean also means tunisia, algeria, morocco, palestine, libya, turkey, albania, etc. you know. the other countries connected to the mediterranean sea.

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anyway here's the house I will not be able to put a bid for