l0nd0n-3xists

[l0nd0n-3xists]

how do i stop obsessing over him

[l0nd0n-3xists]

I feel everything. Too much. All at once. Until I feel nothing at all

[l0nd0n-3xists]

being alive is just so exhausting

[l0nd0n-3xists]

i think i was destined to be ruined. i think i’ll always be fucked up.

[l0nd0n-3xists]

A knife to the chest would hurt less than trying to go through life like this

[l0nd0n-3xists]

Is it just me or does anybody else just stop eating when they're upset

Like, I feel like there's something wrong with me 😭

[l0nd0n-3xists]

I've been doing fine, I've been happy

So why do I suddenly wanna be at the peak of my depression again

[l0nd0n-3xists]

Sometimes I feel like i'm so easily replaceable. Like nobody would choose me in a room full of people. My friends are so quick to choose basically anyone else over me, hell, it even feels like my own boyfriend would choose everyone else over me.

Am I stupid? Am I just overthinking it?

How I wish I could just turn my brain off. Stop thinking for a few minutes and be at peace.

[l0nd0n-3xists]

Some days, I think I’m winning. Most days, I know I’m not.

The worst fights are the silent ones. The days when my brain whispers, What’s the point?

It’s not screaming. Not a roar. Just a low hum I can’t turn off.

Those days, I don’t fight back.

I just sit in the corner and watch myself lose.

[l0nd0n-3xists]

Oh god, it's here. The urge to just afkgdjb my arm and cry until i fall asleep.

[l0nd0n-3xists]

Maybe if I was a better person, wasn't so clingy, wasn't so annoying, wasn't so stupid

Maybe if I was a different person completely, people would like me better

Sometimes I wish I was someone else cause being me is basically like not living at all

[l0nd0n-3xists]

Pulling a Mizuki and running away from my problems instead of facing them!!

God I hate myself

[l0nd0n-3xists]

I can't be the only one whose urges get so bad it makes me physically nauseous. I wanna relapse so bad that I feel like i'm gonna throw up dude.

[l0nd0n-3xists]

[l0nd0n-3xists]

Anytime I put on my headphones, I feel disconnected from the world around me. Like nothing exists, Like i'm just an entity floating in this blank space.

Music is truly a gift, isn't it?

[l0nd0n-3xists]

If my mental disorders don’t kill me stress sure will

[l0nd0n-3xists]

even if i could redo my whole life, i’m sure i’d fuck it up again.