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literally the only thing i’ve done in 2019

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the signs as dwarf fortress bugs

ARIES: Notable foes say “Prepare to die!” even if they don’t notice you. TAURUS: Vampires have too much jewelry from their victims. GEMINI: Sleep on top of castle tower, wake up outside of castle. CANCER: Moody dwarves won’t use magma forges (or magma glass furnaces), insist on non-magma ones. LEO: Military dwarves turn off all of their labors when becoming heroes. VIRGO: Duty-bound drunks: “I’m sorry. My duty is here.” LIBRA: After town insurrection, all shops become taverns. SCORPIO: Dwarves do not assign selves to empty bedrooms. SAGITTARIUS: Romance and marriage are mutually exclusive. CAPRICORN: Dwarves can achieve dreams after they die. AQUARIUS: Adventurers can drink blood spatters even if they’re not dehydrated. PISCES: Composing poetry and music doesn’t check for nearby danger.

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Apparently I drew this picture of Man Ray years ago and completely forgot about it.

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I’ll take “Things that shouldn’t exist” for 500, Alex.

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Got a new ukelele today!

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That feeling when you find out that someone you’ve known for almost a decade is actually a white supremacist.

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8 year old me would be so happy right now.

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I'm very good at coming up with names for my Pokemon.

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I play a Harry Potter tabletop RPG with a friend of mine, and her character has a crush on Professor McGonagall. This song is written from her perspective.

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who knew that a fanfic could make me cry like a dumb little poopy-diapered baby

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Person: *something I didn’t hear* Me: What? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Person: One? Me: One what? Person: For dinner. Me: One what for dinner? Person: FOOD. Me: WHAT FOOD? Person: DO YOU WANT JUST ONE TACO OR TWO?

If somebody says “What?” because they didn’t hear you, don’t repeat just one word from your sentence. Please, for the love of god, repeat the whole thing.

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Sometimes I have REALLY in-depth daydreams about teaching Benjamin Franklin how to use modern technology.

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Just another piece to express how I’m feeling today.

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My dog just fucking tickled me on purpose nonstop for ten minutes.

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I love how dwarf fortress labels forgotten beasts as “uninvited guests”

yes, i certainly didn’t invite this giant lobster that breathes fire

not that he isnt lovely company, but everyone keeps dying