laoshii

[laoshii]

if you meant everything you told me things would have been very different you said you wud never make me sad, love you said you'd never leave me here, alone but now here I am, thinking about you with a lump in my throat as you're no longer here who knew I would be looking at the stars every night, and thinking it would be you wishing it would be you.

[laoshii]

I wish I didn't care if you were doing well but I find myself pondering about you a bit too much lately most of my afternoons were spent thinking about a lot of what-ifs which I know is stupid what if I hadn't pushed you away would you have been here today my heart is aching from the pain of having known you but having failed to keep you with me I wish I didn't care who that new girl was I sometimes wonder if you have forgotten my favourite colour and how we both liked horror I wonder if she reminds you of me or if anything reminds you of me, at all have you forgotten me? I miss the cute bump on your nose and how you were so sweet I wish I didn't care how much I missed having you, as a best friend talking about just anything under the sky and the day would go by from 7.45 to 2 is the blink of an eye I still re-read our old messages and aww I still keep the picture of your little brother is he doing well? honestly, I just wanna say and it was not you're fault I ruin everything and I'm sorry I destroyed both you and me

[laoshii]

In the end, I regretted all the chances I didn't take with you, the moments I let slip by and the times I hid my feelings from you. The cost I had to pay for not following my heart is spending the rest of my life wishing I had.

[laoshii]

If I had to go back tho, I would let things be the same way even a million times over.

[laoshii]

Looking for stars in your sky was a waste of my time because your skies were always cloudy. But I think cloudy skies are beautiful.

[laoshii]

I always wonder, when did it all start to fall apart? When did all our giggles and excitement turn into mind games and manipulation?

[laoshii]

Why did u pick up the broken pieces of my heart just to throw them away, breaking them into a million tiny pieces?

[laoshii]

I could never hate you, cuz I loved you, and a part of me always will.

[laoshii]

Je te veux toujours

[laoshii]

It felt wrong in a way. But all that mattered was, you made me happy...!