lapcatcreations

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Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.

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I (a trans man) complimented the checkout girl at the grocery store yesterday with “I’m SO SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRD BUT YOUR SMILE IS SO PRETTY IM AN ARTIST AND YOU LOOK LIKE A DRAWING” and she was grinning ear to ear. I tried to sound as gay and anxious as humanly possible. I don’t wanna stop giving people compliments but I REFUSE TO SOUND SCARY OR CREEPY. I also complimented her nails and she got hype to tell me about how she did them herself so I *think* I’m in the clear.

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I feel like im going to die from lust and iron deficiency

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They should invent a life that’s structured without being monotonous and challenging without being demanding and eventful without being stressful and peaceful without being boring

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Cutey cutey romantic moment because I need the serotonin. And a hands insert shot because I apparently hate myself.

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woke up dehydrated and deliriously thought "i need to call my senator about this." notably im not american i don't have a senator but even if i did what's he gonna do, deliver fresh water straight to my mouth? make the sun be less warm?

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In the D&D campaign I'm running with my wife's siblings, one of them learned about how trolls regenerate within minutes of any damage not caused by fire or acid, and then asked why people don't just like. Cage them and eat them, forever. Why there aren't troll meat dungeons in the king's castle as a safeguard against sieges or famines.

And you know, I thought it was a fair question, so I said that if you eat enough troll meat, you start getting troll-y. And then I went further and just treated it like troll flesh is a general contaminant - if you eat enough troll, you'll turn into a troll, but if you bury enough dead troll flesh in a forest, the trees will start growing in strange ways, and will scream and heal and bleed when you hit them with axes.

I liked this idea. So as we played further, I just played around with the idea of Troll Origins, and I came up with something sort of like the Odyssey, but instead stealing Helios's cattle, it was Hathor's, and the horrible, awful, unending immortality was her curse of the army that pillaged her lands. A god of healing does not condemn you to die, she condemns you to live.

And then I got this fun idea for maybe the king that led the army is still kind of alive in the troll taint. Like a sort of literal fisher king. The kingdom is sick because he is, literally, the kingdom. The trees that bleed, bleed his blood and their screams are his screams. He is both the faintly green bear running down the mountain and the faintly green deer and there is no way past this without suffering. He is the entire ecosystem, and he eats nothing but himself and he dreams nothing but death and yet still, on and on and on and on, he lives.

Anyway they're traveling next session so I'm throwing this shit at them. I already have some gross ideas for like. Describing everything like it's a body (flowers red as blood, white as bone, pink as meat, grass fine as hair) then finally throwing horrible living things at them. Trees that grow eyeballs that turn and stare at them, or flowers with teeth instead of petals and trolls that speak in long dead tongues about how they wish they'd never tried to rob a god.

Anyway I'm passing this on because this is my new troll lore and I want it to become canonized in the way that all D&D lore becomes canonized: By having eople read it and go "oh, neat" then start doing that too.

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Helluva Boss + Text Posts

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Caine cares for Pomni......I guess?

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Supportive!

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why aren't you responding 😔 by SPiNDLE

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MY FRIEND RAVEN MET BRANDON FUCKIN ROGERS AND TOLD HIM ABOUT MY WEBTOON IM SOBBING

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had no plan with this one, just blindly followed the vibes

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way past bottling up my feelings. i keep them in a black hole that I dissociate from 24/7 and if I ever touch it I die

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Got paid $20 to “do whatever with black and green” and this is what I came up with! I don’t usually go for a painterly style with my digital work, but this was a fun experiment :)