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Every once in a while I think about how the Swiss have the cachet of “good chocolate” and Italy and France have the “good coffee” and well I don’t even really have the energy to get mad about it anymore

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Derrick Barry realizing nobody died at Stonewall versus Britney Spears realizing Ryan Seacrest isn’t gay

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And people, people off the ship, the company HQ, did they know this sort of cover-up was going on?

Well, there was a certain amount of oversight..

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not now. mommys making a 0 note post

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humiliation ritual but its just me in love

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i will not be having an ipad baby. i will be having a Pea baby

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sorry the golden retriever bf thing still annoys me. when someone describes their man like that i just think ok well he sounds like a pain in the ass. good luck with that fool.

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crossfaded off a burp and a sneeze

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Thank you everybody here who is nice to me

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there are certain men I'm attracted to with whom I would not like to have sex but I would like them to sleep at the foot of my bed like a dog

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Today I was trying to chat up this girl standing with her friend at a lesbian bar and said “oh are you two together?” meaning were you friends before being next to each other at this bar and one turns to the other and goes with all the venom of a black mamba snake “I don’t know Cara, are we?” and I was like you know what? not my table

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it will pass ..

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Biting because its too hot outside