lavaasworld786

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jason “idealism sits in prison” todd

dick “chivalry fell on his sword” grayson

tim “innocence died screaming” drake

damian “i slithered here from eden just to hide outside your door” wayne

do you see the vision

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RIP Odysseus you would have loved long distance calls.

RIP Diomedes you would have loved Call of Duty voice chats.

RIP Patroclus you would have loved winning every high school popularity contest.

RIP Achilles you would have loved Alpha male TikToks.

RIP Agamemnon you would have loved being an asshole CEO.

RIP Nestor you would have loved toddler leashes.

RIP Cassandra you would have loved being able to sue people for the damages they caused you.

RIP Hector you would have loved the Kentucky Derby.

RIP Paris you would have loved doxxing people anonymously.

RIP Helen you would have loved women getting to have rights.

RIP Troy you would have loved fire extinguishers.

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Marauders characters as who’d they be in a primary school nativity with little explanations:

James: Joseph(he drops the baby Jesus)

Remus: Innkeeper(he cries)

Sirius: Angel Gabriel(makes all the old ladies say “ahh bless him”

Peter: The Donkey(takes his role very seriously)

Marlene: Shepherd(Was too enthusiastic as a sheep)

Lily: Wiseman(enough said)

Mary: Mary(she gives a very emotive performance)

Pandora: Star(she wanted to be a sheep)

Regulus: Cow(cries the whole time)

Dorcas: Wiseman(Again enough said)

Barty: Chicken(spends half of the play looking out the window)

Evan: Sheep(he’s a very happy bunny)

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Psychologist Remus Lupin starts therapy sessions with playboy Sirius Black who's being forced into treatment by his remarkably better centered younger brother. Remus isn't very keen on taking over this high-profile patient (who's also known to be a jerk in the media) , BUT a) he's not one to turn down a case; and b) he's drowning in medical debts and the Black family is willing to pay very well Sirius basically lives in hotels, never settles down in one city, does drugs and parties and fucks random dudes as if it's second nature. He races sports cars, likes borderline suicidal speeds just to get that feeling when life's hanging by a thread and everything suddenly feels real. When he nearly overdoses, Regulus (who manages the family fortune after their parents' death) and James (Sirius' childhood bff who doesn't recognise his friend anymore) join forces to plan an intervention. Sirius gets grounded in England and has to choose between going straight to rehab or trying out therapy first. He chooses the latter, but doesn't think he needs help, so he treats the whole affair as a joke, being highly elusive and sardonic during sessions At first Remus makes little of him besides the fact that Sirius is probably the most handsome man he's ever laid eyes upon, but Sirius a nice challenge to unravel Sirius tolerates the sessions for the sake of Reg letting him keep his credit lines, but then he starts to kind of look forward to the weekly encounters with this cute, super smart, kind of condescending therapist who doesn't seem to give a fuck about who he is To everyone's surprise, Sirius actually starts to get better and see the points Remus is trying to make Remus panics when he realises he looks forward to sessions with this particular patient more than any other They are now borderline flirtatious. Sirius wants to get into Remus' pants and Remus is freaking out about losing his license It all goes to hell when Remus realises he's in love with Sirius fucking Black, the idiot from TMZ headlines. He very honourably informs Regulus that he can no longer treat Sirius Reg lashes out at Sirius for fucking yet another thing up In the meantime, Reg and James' team-up turns into something less about Sirius' health and a lot more about ravishing one another's mouths yay

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We all have that mutual that god just fucking cursed i guess

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I like him

for shower thoughts anon :D - jegulus, marylily, drarry -word count: 661

"It's got to be Ginny," James said, sitting back onto the sofa next to Regulus and sipping at his glass of wine. "I mean...c'mon. He's been looking at her for a while! She's pretty, funny, a damn good Quidditch player..."

"And a redhead," Lily chimed in from the loveseat, winking at her ex-husband.

"And a redhead," James acknowledged, inclining his head with a chuckle. "I'd bet money on her being his girlfriend."

"Sure, she's pretty," Regulus, who was sitting next to James, drawled, "but she used to pine after him! Harry's going to walk in here with Hermione, just you wait. She's pretty as well, and she's smart, and they've been friends for ages."

"Ginny's smart!" James retorted, sounding offended, like Regulus had said something about James's own intelligence.

"Sure, but Hermione's grades are top tier," Regulus shrugged. "Nobody can beat them."

"Hermione's in love with Ron, I guarantee it," Lily said confidently, sipping at her own drink. "Hermione and Harry get on too well. There's no tension there."

"Poor Hermione. Why do the smart ones always fall for the emotionally stunted?" Regulus mumbled, smirking when James shouted 'Oi!'

But after scoffing at his husband, James sighed and addressed the room at large. "Alright. Let's say it's not Ginny or Hermione. Who, then? Cho? Luna?"

Finally, Mary, who was sitting next to Lily, gave a little giggle.

"You have an idea, love?" Lily asked curiously, turning to her wife.

Mary grinned. "No, it's none of my business," she said airily.

"You've known Harry since he was a baby," Regulus replied, rolling his eyes. "Just because you've only officially become his stepmother recently-"

"Ugh, 'stepmother' sounds awful...like I'm going to lock him in a tower..." Mary grimaced.

"Whatever. What're you thinking?" James asked eagerly.

"Isn't it obvious?" Mary said, eyes on Regulus, who gave her an annoyed head shake. "I'd bet my life he walks in with Draco Malfoy."

James and Regulus's sitting room was silent for a long time.

"Nah, that's-"

"There's no fucking way-"

But Regulus was the one who said thoughtfully, "No...she has a point."

James stared at his husband like he had three heads. "Love...Harry hates Draco, you know this! You...you both make fun of Lucius Malfoy together!"

"Yes, it's great bonding," Regulus agreed slowly. "And I'd sooner die than say anything nice about my cousin or her husband. Why do you think I haven't so much as sent them a letter in almost twenty years? But...well, you and Harry are very similar, James."

"Meaning what?" James asked incredulously.

Lily let out a little laugh of understanding. "Meaning he could also fall for the grumpy, pretentious Slytherin with a shit upbringing and a horrible outlook on life and somehow realize that said Slytherin isn't as shit as his family is."

Regulus frowned. "Grumpy?"

James, however, gave Lily an affronted look. "Are you saying that our son inherited my...what? Attraction to Slytherins?"

"Maybe your attraction to people who insult you, too," Mary mumbled from next to Lily, and everyone laughed except James.

"But I-" James began to argue his case, but before he could, there was a crack! outside, and loud voices could be heard.

"...was going to tell them! I just didn't know how!"

"You can't just surprise your family with this, Potter! They may be 'nice people' but they're still capable of going into heart failure!"

"Listen, Malfoy, it's going to be fine. They don't care who I date, as long as I'm-"

"-Happy, yes, well trust me, I'm not going to be making you happy for a long time if this goes poorly because you didn't give them the decency of a warning!"

"Listen, you need to talk quieter, alright? They can probably hear, and..."

And the voices trailed off into whispers, all four adults looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Well....I like him," Mary said, breaking into a grin. "But I'm just the stepmother, so..."

Everyone else groaned and moved towards the dining room.

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James says “love”

Regulus says “baby”

Remus says “sweetheart”

Sirius says “moony, moons, moony-love, moonpie, moonbeam, moonlight, moon sprinkles, moonage daydream, moony moony moony moons, wolfy” (or anything related to the moon in any possible way)

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Bellatrix ”a weird relationship with sex” Black

Andromeda ”a weird relationship with alcohol” Black

Narcissa ”a weird relationship with food” Black

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Pinky Promise | @black-sisters-microfic | Tedromeda-centric | Word Count : 695

Hogwarts, September 1964.

“You’re a mudblood, then?” Andromeda asked suspiciously. “I’ve never heard the name Tonks before.”

Ted Tonks, who had been unnecessarily cheerful up till this moment, dropped his smile immediately. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”

“Why?” Her brows pulled together in confusion. “It’s just a question. I won’t be offended if you ask me my blood status.”

Ted stared at her. “The difference is that you’re insulting me.”

“When did I insult you?” Andromeda threw up her hands in exasperation. “You’re the one who can’t answer a simple question!”

“Are you stupid?”

“Oh, clearly, I am,” she said. “Why else would I be wasting my time talking to you?”

Ted rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, I’ll let you go so you can continue your bullying.”

“What!?” Andromeda shrieked indignantly. “I have never bullied anyone, nor do I want to!”

“Didn’t you just call me a mudblood?” asked Ted, eyebrow raised.

She groaned in frustration. “I only asked if you were. And you still haven’t answered me.”

“I’m not a mudblood,” Ted said pointedly. “I’m a muggle-born.”

Andromeda blinked. “Is—what is wrong with you?” she asked. “That’s exactly the same thing!”

“No, it’s not!”

“A muggle-born,” she began through gritted teeth, “is someone who has muggle parents. A mudblood is also someone who has muggle parents. I fail to see the difference.”

“When you say mudblood, it sounds like you think you’re better than me,” Ted said. When Andromeda pursed her lips and didn’t make a comment, he scoffed. “You do think you’re better than me, don’t you?”

“Well … yes,” she slowly nodded. “But that’s because I saw you trip and fall over nothing. You were just walking, there were no obstacles, and you still fell.”

“That can happen to anyone!” he pointed out indignantly, face flushing a light pink.

“It has never happened to me.”

Ted glared at her, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “Who the fuck cares—”

“Don’t use the word,” Andromeda hissed, eyes widening.

“What word?” Ted blinked. “Fuck?”

She nodded, distressed.

He huffed out a mirthless laugh. “So you can call me a mudblood but I can’t say fuck?”

Andromeda wanted to burst into flames right then and there because why was this boy being so difficult?

“It’s just a blood status,” she tried patiently. Maybe he doesn’t know since his parents are muggles. “So, you see I’m a pureblood because my parents are, too. If someone has one parent who’s not a pureblood, then that person is a half-blood. If you have both parents who are muggles, you’re a mudblood,” She held up her hand when he began to interrupt her. “It’s also called muggle-born, I know, but mudblood makes more sense. Pureblood, half-blood, mudblood.”

After that, Ted stared at her silently for a very long time. It seemed that he was contemplating his next words carefully, finally settling on, “We prefer to be called muggle-born because people use the other one in a bad way … it’s like how you don’t like hearing fuck because it’s a bad word. Mudblood is a bad word, too.”

Andromeda digested that, nodding slowly. “But then you can’t use that word, either.”

Ted’s face split into a helpless grin. “I promise that if you stop using the m-word, I’ll stop using the f-word.”

“Deal,” she nodded, satisfied with this. “Should we make an Unbreakable Vow?”

“What’s that?” he asked curiously.

“It’s an unbreakable vow,” she raised an eyebrow. “It means you make a vow that you can’t break.”

“I meant,” Ted rolled his eyes again, this time with a smile that seemed fond, “what would happen if I do end up saying fu—the word?”

“You’ll die,” she stated simply.

“Oh, good thing it’s not something dramatic and unnecessary.”

Andromeda laughed.

“We can do a pinky promise instead,” Ted told her. “It’s the muggle version of that vow, except you don’t die if you break it.”

“Then it’s not very binding, is it?”

He shrugged. “It’s about trust. You can break it, yes, but I would be trusting that you won’t … and vice versa, I hope.”

“Hmm,” she passed a small smile. “Alright. Let’s do this muggle promise of yours.”

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i love the Rosier twins as much as the next person but why do we forget about Felix. like older siblings Ev and Pan????

and their would like what an 8 yr difference, like come on. you know Felix would that one kid who likes his siblings partners more than his actual siblings.

im specifically thinking rosekiller and pandalily but it could totally work with moonrose and pandorcas

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McGonagall: really who could be worse than Sirius and his friends

Regulus "will get his revenge even if it kills him" Black

Evan "cuts dead things open for fun" Rosier

Barty "arsonist with daddy issues" Crouch Jr

Pandora "seer with a knack for experimenting" Rosier

Dorcas "the one keeping them all out of Azkaban" Meadowes

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Clark Kent had zero idea that he wanted to get manhandled until Bruce Wayne picked his big ass up, flung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and walked out of the League conference room with him like he weighed nothing at all. And damnit, Bruce didn’t miss a step or show any sign that he was heavy. He had the nerve to just keep walking, face blank and eyes forward, as though he wasn’t carrying well over 200 pounds of Superman around like a rag doll.

Clark has never been so conflicted.

On one hand, he’d been in the middle of speaking—and making a damn good point, thank you very fucking much. Bruce had disagreed with everything he’d said to the point that he’d snatched the cowl off mid-meeting, like he wanted Clark to see he was rolling his eyes in plain view. And Clark can admit that after the third eye roll, he’d gotten loud and belligerent. Then, out of nowhere, right after Barry had made some silly joke to break the tension in the room, Bruce had stood up, rounded the table, grabbed Clark by the waist, and flung him over his shoulder. And Clark, too shocked by it all, hadn’t done a thing to stop it.

Which leads to the other hand. Because yes, on one hand, Clark is outraged that Bruce went this far to shut him down in a disagreement. Mister dark and broody, Mister I’m Always Right Because I’m Batman, just couldn’t handle anyone with a different point of view, so he physically removed the opposition. Self-righteous, arrogant, bullheaded, stubborn, and yet—and yet—and yet…

Clark has never been so turned on in his fucking life.

It occurs to him, as Bruce exits the conference room with everyone else watching in shocked silence, that he should be furious. He can’t remember what he’d been saying—knows it was a good point but damn, what had the meeting even been about?—and now look at him. He’s face down, ass up, cape askew, wide-eyed and struck stupid. He thinks he even squeaked in shock when Bruce had adjusted him from his left shoulder to his right without so much as a grunt. Just seamless, effortless, strong, so strong and powerful—

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been walking (well, Bruce walking and him just dangling), but suddenly they’re in an empty break room and Bruce is sitting him down on the counter, arranging himself between his legs and opening his mouth to growl—

“If you’re determined to act like a brat, then I’m going to treat you like one.”

Did Clark say before that he’s never been so turned on in his life? Scratch that. Fuck that. Whatever he said then doesn’t even begin to compare to right now.

Bruce blinks and the fight in him seems to evaporate into thin air. “You…are not supposed to be enjoying this.”

Oh, great. Now, on top of everything else Bruce is inexplicably capable of, it seems like he can also see Clark’s toes curling involuntarily in his boots. Either that or the deep breath Clark took to calm down looked more like helpless swooning. Fucking wonderful.

And you know what? He could be embarrassed by all this. He probably should be. Maybe even righteously indignant at the disrespect, the absolute gall it took for someone who’s supposed to be his equal cutting him off in such an extreme way. But something about getting tossed around has his brain short-circuiting and his heart fluttering, so he takes years of mutual lingering glances and tension and decides to be brave (see: stupid and horny).

“What are you gonna do about it?”

Bruce grins. “If I’d know that was all it took, I would’ve done this ages ago.”

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some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]

(and tim and alfred the cat)

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being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

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day 46 of

remus lupin quote of the day

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They are sooo Woflstar coded like Elias being a mini Remus and Alexander being a mini Sirius with his hair and painted nails

Young Hearts