lavaasworld786 - Tumblr blog

[lavaasworld786]

Jason as Red Hood, halfway through absolutely obliterating a Drug ring Goon for information on the latest mission: hold up one sec *opens phone* shit

The Goon internally, terrified for his life: oh my god is it batman did batman call him is it a Bat oh god im gonna die- Uh red hod- sir?

Jason, in a deep ass voice, still holding several guns, packing up his torture shit: late for my little brother's school art exhibition. bye.

Don't get Red Hood mad on Wednesdays.

[lavaasworld786]

so pandora is a seer but i love to imagine evan having whack ass night terrors. like he sits up in the middle of the night eyes glazed over talking about the end of the world and bartys just like yeah okay cool, man and then forgets to tell him it happened in the morning

[lavaasworld786]

[lavaasworld786]

touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know

[lavaasworld786]

((damian misses dick so jason tries to cheer him up))

"What's up with Damian?" Jason asked, with an eyebrow raised. Damian was practicing throwing his sword on a dummy, but he wasn't being precise as he usually would. His aim was off by a few inches.

"He misses Dick." Tim shrugged as he continued typing on the keyboard. "He's been doing that for two hours."

"Didn't Dick leave yesterday?"

"Yup." Tim never once looked back. Either too focused on the computer or he didn't care of his surroundings. "I wish he was in his room instead."

"How long have you been here?" Jason frowned, crossing his arms.

"No comment."

Jason rolled his eyes. "I'll talk to him. Maybe get him to go somewhere else."

Tim gave him a small wave from behind, as if that would happen. "Good luck."

Jason approached Damian, who glanced at him for a second before going back to attacking the dummy. "Wanna do something?"

"With you? No." Damian wiped the sweat off from his forehead.

"C'mon. I know you're bored doing the same shit over and over," Jason said.

"Practice makes perfect. You should try it sometimes. It'll improve your skills."

Tim's muffled laughter could be heard, making Jason grit his teeth and forcing a smile. He was not going to be upset. He knew how Damian was, nothing new.

"I guess you wouldn't like the zoo, then."

That got Damian's attention as he lowered his sword. "Zoo?"

"Yeah. Dick's friend lives there. Sitka, the elephant. You never met her before, right?"

"I've heard of her... but never met her. Grayson has been busy lately to take me," Damian said softly.

Jason smirked. "What are you waiting for? Let's go! Dick lost his chance to take you, so I'll do it."

Damian finally put the sword away. His eyes were filled with excitement and a smiled reached his face. He stood in front of Jason, eager to leave the batcave.

Jason glanced over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out at Tim, who was watching them in disbelief. He hadn't expected Jason to actually convince Damian. "Told you I could do it!"

[lavaasworld786]

Anyone know that one batfamily fic that is based off of a tumblr prompt where Nightwing gets hit with some kind of blue goop that literally makes him scream in agony calling for his dad (Bruce) and everyone is like oh shit we don’t jack about this dude even though he’s one of the most open, bright, bubbly member of the league and Batman just sprints over and is like “it’s okay”, “I got you”, “you’re gonna be okay”, “I’m right here”, and Nightwing is just scared shitless (rightfully so)

[lavaasworld786]

“Bruce is the better parent to Damian” “Talia is the better parent” blah blah blah. F that you know what I wanna see the two of them trying to co parent. We all know there would be no gas station drop offs with their dramatic asses.

Like imagine this Bruce and Damian are in the middle of an interview or maybe they’re at a gala and the whole place just gets swarmed with assassins and everyone is running and screaming. The lead assassin is like “ We are here to collect the prince” and everyone is like wtf???? And Bruce is just like “Okay sweetheart have a nice time at your Moms” and “You tell her that before you adopt any more pets that their needs to be a discussion” and Damian just gets whisked off by assassins and he doesn’t even bat an eye he’d just like “Bye Baba make sure to walk Titus while I am gone.”

And then he leaves and Bruce is just like “Ex’s am I right?” And walks off to get another drink leaving everyone around him gaping because wtfff did they just witness?????

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“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Damian is 3, looking at Ra’s steel gaze. There’s a tragedy to his grandfather that’s his alone. He wonders if it’ll ever soften.

“Powerful.”

-

“Damian,” Baba’s voice is very different than Batman’s. It’s so soft it could crack the world in two. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Damian thinks about Bruce holding someone’s hand with his broken fingers after a patrol.

He thinks about Bruce forgiving his mother. For everything, and anything.

He thinks about the meals left on Todd’s doorstep. He thinks about his siblings. He thinks about his father loving a world that doesn’t love him back.

He thinks about Bruce.

“Kind.”

[lavaasworld786]

matching each other's freak

[lavaasworld786]

Bruce: *in the middle of a Wayne Enterprises meeting*

Tim: *sends Bruce an audio message*

Bruce: I'm a little busy right now Tim. is it urgent?

Tim: no, dw, u can just listen later :)

(15 minutes later)

Bruce: *presses play*

the message: "JASON CRASHED THE BATMOBILE—"

[lavaasworld786]

if you weren't here for the 2023 discourse of "max fell first, charles fell harder" let me introduce you to "max fell first, charles fell harder, BUT they're competitive petty bitches so max is currently fighting for the 'fell harder' title, too"

[lavaasworld786]

Things said by the batfamily during a commercial flight.

“What do you mean you don’t have enough first class seats ma’am?”

“You’re flying Economy, brat, you’re the one with the shortest legs”

“No way, Todd, last time I checked the legally dead can’t fly”

“Extra cost for overweight luggage? Since when?”

“Bet you 20 bucks Jason gets stopped by security”

“No sir, I swear I don’t have any sharps or firearms within my person”

“No sir, that’s not meth it’s purple food colouring”

“I swear I am not related to any of them”

“4 dollars for a bottle of water? Fuck no, drink from the water faucet”

“Where’s Dick? Our zone just got called,”

“Where do you think? Getting skin care airport size products at Duty Free”

“Has anybody seen Duke?”

“He’s getting a massage”

“Listen here everyone, I am boarding that plane with or without you,”

“I call dibs on sitting next to Alfred,”

“Absolutely no. I am sitting next to Alfred, or else you’re all grounded”

“Why is Tim not waking up? We’re boarding soon”

“He knocked himself out with melatodine gummies”

“Master Jason, please don’t draw on your brother’s face while he’s unconscious”

“It’s our chance, let’s ditch Drake for real”

“Shit i can’t find my passport”

“I can lend you one of mine. I’ve got Ireland, UK, Spain, Singapore, Russian, and North Korea’s”

“How in the hell you got a North Korean passport?”

“Are you wearing red hair in your Irish passport?”

“Can you believe it? They have 100 ml Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair!”

“This salad is disgusting, Father, i can’t eat this”

“Then don’t eat”

“I’ll stab you Drake i swear”

“How did you slipped a knife through security?”

“Only a knife? What an Amateur”

[lavaasworld786]

headcanon that the smaller batkids steal the bigger ones' hoodies and jackets. and by "bigger ones" I mean literally anyone bigger than them.

jason gets the short end of the stick because dick and all his little siblings take his. tim's the only one bold enough to go for the leather jackets (well, and cass, but they're way too wide in the shoulders for her) but it's not uncommon to find dick or stephanie in a dark red or gray hoodie that smells of motor oil and gunpowder.

damian usually takes dick's hoodies, but they're very oversized on him. on the bright side, there are thumbholes in the sleeves of all dick's hoodies, so he can still use his hands. the thumbholes make them a hot commodity in the winter.

there is a tim-steph-cass jacket pipeline. steph steals tim's hoodies and cass takes them from steph. hence tim stealing jason's leather jackets -- steph won't take them, so he gets to hold on to them until jason realizes and takes them back. sometimes cass will also steal duke's hoodies, but she always returns them clean and neatly folded (unlike how it goes with the rest of the family, in which they are returned only under threat of blackmail or with long rounds of negotiation).

this is an extremely long-standing ring of jacket theft. you cannot leave a hoodie unattended in wayne manor. damian doesn't actually own any hoodies, and cass only owns one, because there's so many other people in the house to "borrow" one from. nowhere is safe. steph once broke into dick's apartment to steal his warm hoodie, the one with the fuzz on the inside.

but it goes the other way sometimes. jason leaves things in the pockets of his leather jackets for tim -- film for his camera, hand sanitizer, half-filled punch cards for local coffee shops with "drink water too, fucker" written on the back. cass will tuck little slips of paper in the cuffed sleeves when she leaves hoodies out. the notes don't say anything, but they have little smiley faces and hearts on them, and steph has taken to doing something similar with corny jokes. dick just straight-up leaves candy in the hoods of his jackets.

it's a game, it's a love language. it's simultaneously annoyance and affection. there's nothing like wearing a hoodie that's too big for you, that smells like your family, to make you feel safe.

[lavaasworld786]

It's so incredibly funny to me that somehow some people think Tim is a boring straightlace and Jason is deranged and unhinged

Like Jason at his worst is a murderous crime lord who also has a moral conscience, protects children and sex workers, works to make the worst parts of Gotham safer and wants to know that his dad cares

Tim at his worst on the other hand.... Rampant murder with NO morals, becomes Batman and uses the gun that killed Bruce's parents, dictator, takes over like half of America, goes back in time like a couple times to tell his younger self that this is their inevitable end just to fuck with HIMSELF

Jason at his best is the happy robin, loves school, cares for sex workers becomes a crime lord to help make sure the people who are addicted aren't being given toxic shit

Tim at his best is entirely unhinged, stalking Batman and Robin through the streets, blackmailing Batman, all the young justice shenanigans, creating a fake uncle to avoid adoption, beefing with a like 9 year old (deserved imo 9 year olds are MEAN), lies to everyone including batman and take pride in it

Like besties one is exponentially more of a black sheep and it isn't the drug lord, it's the heroic sidekick of batman

Yes Jason is still out on the streets wildin and feral but I don't think people give enough credit to how normal he is for his background

Yes Tim is CEO but he's also been 17 for years and probably has taken cocaine to see what it felt like

[lavaasworld786]

I am thinking about the batkids and their rooms at the manor.

When Dick was first brought to the manor, Alfred put wooden letters that spelled out his name on the outside of the door to his room. He wanted the boy to feel like he belonged, and denoting the room as his seemed like the best way. At first, they spelled out "Richard", and were painted in red, green, and yellow -- the colors that his parents had worn for their circus act, that didn't have any other meaning yet. Dick pried them off the door and threw them away. He didn't want to accept that this was permanent yet. There were new letters on the door a few days later, blue this time, and spelling out "Dick" instead. Those letters got pried off much the same and shoved in a drawer, and they didn't get put back until a year later. He was too short to put them in the same place, so they ended up crooked, and Alfred found it too endearing to fix.

When he left the manor years later, he considered ripping the letters off the door and throwing them in the foyer on his way out. But he left them, and there they remained, crooked as ever.

Jason got his own letters when it became clear he wasn't going anywhere. He helped Alfred put them up on his bedroom door, standing on a step stool to make sure they got in the right place. His were evenly spaced and neatly aligned, and he refused to tell anyone that he cried over them that night. He'd spent months wondering if he'd ever live up to his predecessor, not just as Robin, but in the family as well. And now he had his own letters, just like Dick's, and they weren't going anywhere.

And they didn't. Even after he died. Bruce and Alfred both considered taking the name down to make walking past that empty room less painful, but in the end, they didn't dare touch the letters, just like they didn't touch anything else in the room. Years later, Jason would sneak into the manor through his old bedroom window and find his school uniforms still hanging in the closet, his textbooks on his desk, an open novel on his nightstand, and, of course, the letters still on the door, more of an epitaph than the one on his actual tombstone.

Tim fought for his name on a bedroom door. It took a while, but he trained, and he learned, and he forced himself into the role that he knew he could fill. Part of him thought that no matter how good and useful he made himself as Robin, he'd never really fill the role that the two before him did. He thought there might not be room for him after Jason's death, but he did it. He was older than the other two when Alfred finally put the letters up on his door, but he did it.

Later, when he left in search of Bruce, he didn't think for a second of taking his name down off his door. He'd earned it.

Damian's name got put up practically as soon as he got to the manor. He didn't think much of having his name on a door. If anything, it irked him a bit, being lumped in with the others, but it would have annoyed him more if he didn't get his own name. For a while, his name on the door, marking it as his from the hallway, was the only reason you could tell it wasn't the guest room that it had previously been. He had no photographs, had arrived with no personal affects.

That changed, eventually. As he gained friends, he also gained photos of them. He put up sketches and watercolor paintings of his animals. A dog bed got put on the floor for Titus. But the letters had been there from the beginning, and he grew to appreciate them eventually. His room, with the name on the door, was safe, and he liked it there.

Cass's letters showed up without much fanfare. They were simply there when she exited her room one day. "Cassandra" in black wooden letters that matched all of her new siblings'. She ran her fingers over them with reverence. She'd never been allowed to leave a mark before. Her life was predicated on being a shadow, but there was her name, in big letters, somewhere where other people could see it.

Steph had a room. She didn't want to admit it, but when she crashed at the manor, it was always in the same room. Her name was put up, and she took it down, and it was put up again, and she took it down again until it became something of a game between her and Alfred. If Steph was staying at the manor and Alfred didn't find a wooden S in a random cupboard, then have to search the house for the rest of her name, then he knew she was in a bad mood, and he usually made her favorite cookies and left them outside of the door with her name still firmly in place.

Duke's letters were waiting for him when he moved in. His name in bright yellow letters that matched his suit already in place. Of course it was, it's tradition at this point, and he's part of the family now. He had bounced around for a while now, and the letters on his door made him feel...calmer. It was a sense of permanence, and one he could learn to enjoy.

Barbara didn't need a room. She had her own room, in her own house, but Alfred still offered to mark out a space for her. She declined. When she did stay over, it was either in the cave or Dick's room, she didn't need her own. Still, that didn't mean her mark wasn't left somewhere. There was a study downstairs with a desk that she sometimes did her homework on as a child if she was staying over for the night. Now, the desk held a computer that was wired into the Batcomputer's network, a photo of her and her father, and, of course, tiny wooden letters affixed to the side that spelled out 'Barbara'.

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there's no reason why Jason has to do it ... but he does it anyway. he checks on the location of his family members first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

because the last thing he wants is to wake up one day and realise that someone he cared about fucked off to some random country in the middle of the night while searching for someone who might end up intending to cause more harm than good.

the last thing he wants is for any of the people he cares about to end up trapped, feeling powerless and terrified in a foreign country, waiting for help that will never come.

so he checks up on everyone. and if someone tries to make an impromptu trip anywhere, he follows them, and he doesn't breathe a sigh of relief until their safely behind the doors of Wayne Manor again.

[lavaasworld786]

theyre very strange