lavvbones-blog

[lavvbones-blog]

omg.

(not my video)

[lavvbones-blog]

Do you ever feel too ashamed to visit Tumblr cause you ate so much

[lavvbones-blog]

Honestly, not eating isn’t the hard part for me. It’s the waiting. Every moment of the day I just want it to be over: so I can go to sleep, wake up, and get back on the scale, so it can tell me I’m one step closer.

[lavvbones-blog]

photo not mine ,, stay safe ♡

[lavvbones-blog]

I want to stay in my room until I lose 30 lbs

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ive been hearing about a lot of people finding it harder to restrict. My school immediately found ways to do online class (so i do have that distraction). ive been restricting harder than ever. ive found so much time to paint and ignore my hunger. but everyone is different this is just me.

This quarantine has been so bad for my mental health and i’m sure i’m not the only one. It’s given me no motivation to get out of bed in the morning because why get up when there’s no school, nowhere to go, nothing I need to do. On top of this my parents are both always on top of me. My eating disorder has gotten worse, in spite of there being nothing to do but eat and then patronize my body. All my distractions have been taken away and I am left alone with my thoughts.

[lavvbones-blog]

“How did you lose weight so fast “

Me : oh you know exercising and eating better

*laughs in eating disorder *

[lavvbones-blog]

made that tiktok coffee today, worked well as a laxitive and vvry happy about that. 😋😋😋

~ 3/30/20 cw: 131.8 lbs

we lost 7.5 lbs so far hell yes

[lavvbones-blog]

ive missed a whole month. where the hell is my period.

woke up today ate some food. 1 cup of blueberries (85) calories and a cup of black berries (62). Then made myself some sweet chai maybe 120 calories? today i felt kinda good, i could feel my hip bones and some what my ribs when i lay down it felt nice. today i have a lot of guilt so im going to spend time on ANNH. rebuild my town. if i dont eat so late ill be okay i know that now.

~3/29/20 cw: 132.1lbs

[lavvbones-blog]

finished eating dinner. things i learned. lettuce wraps and bowls.

1) you can fool everyone by eating a lettuce wrapped food first and then only from then on eat the lettuxe with out the food but claim its in there. it shows you are eating but the lettuce is so low calorie you will be okay. plus its deciving.

2) bowls cover your food so you cant see how much you really have ate. put tiny amounts so its not supicisious putting the food back. you just have to wait to bring your food over so no one can see inside it.

~ 3/29/20 (night) cw: 133.8

[lavvbones-blog]

[lavvbones-blog]

i think im starting on my month again. that could explain a lot.

woke up today ate some food. 1 cup of blueberries (85) calories and a cup of black berries (62). Then made myself some sweet chai maybe 120 calories? today i felt kinda good, i could feel my hip bones and some what my ribs when i lay down it felt nice. today i have a lot of guilt so im going to spend time on ANNH. rebuild my town. if i dont eat so late ill be okay i know that now.

~3/29/20 cw: 132.1lbs

[lavvbones-blog]

woke up today ate some food. 1 cup of blueberries (85) calories and a cup of black berries (62). Then made myself some sweet chai maybe 120 calories? today i felt kinda good, i could feel my hip bones and some what my ribs when i lay down it felt nice. today i have a lot of guilt so im going to spend time on ANNH. rebuild my town. if i dont eat so late ill be okay i know that now.

~3/29/20 cw: 132.1lbs

[lavvbones-blog]

7:49 after dinner. Ma wanted to watch 1917. The production looks amazing but i had a hard time watching it. We ate while we watched, a cassarole.

turns out it was pretty low calorie thank lord. i had maybe two peas and three mushrooms. i feel so guilty not eating. she was very excited to make it. this is just part of it.

~ 3/28/20 cw (night): 134.2

[lavvbones-blog]

i remeber being in a "ana/mia group chat" and they literally made spread sheets and told us who ever could be the lowest by then wins. this isnt a competition. this is a disorder, not some track abd feild event.

i feel like i say this all the time but can we PLEASE STOP MAKING EATING DISORDERS A COMPETITION

Someone started at a high weight? They still have an eating disorder.

Someone is still at a high weight? They still have an eating disorder.

Someone has a higher ugw than you? They still have an eating disorder.

Someone binges more than you? They still have an eating disorder.

Someone has a higher daily calorie intake than you? They still have an eating disorder.

Someone has a different safe food you consider ‘unsafe’? They still have an eating disorder.

There is no cookie cutter eating disorder, it’s different for everyone.

EATING DISORDERS. ARE. NOT. A. COMPETITION.

[lavvbones-blog]

tumblr really just took down what i wrote huh. damn.

again, i woke up early (7:59) bc of my alarm and i cant fall asleep. i feel full although i just woke up. i hate this feeling. i wish i was thin and didnt have to feel my thighs unbearably smush together. lets see how long i can go, day 2.

~3/28/20 cw:133.6lbs

[lavvbones-blog]

self note to future self: those vitimens made me throw up because i had not ate, be very careful. eat an apple before taking. I felt super nauseous even after the cabbage and felt like i needed to eat. so.... remeber that!!!

the bubble gum is doing nothing for my skin but causing problems. I made lavender tea with 3 tsp of Rice milk for dinner while eating less than a cup of steamed cabbage. Ate some vitmens and feeling kinda wack. first day back on my fith im gonna celebrate a lil. its been a while and today was a struggle.

~ 3/27/20 (night) cw: 135.8