lawngnome05

[lawngnome05]

Update

So it's been a long time. My dad is currently in a rehabilitation center to regain some strength. It's not great though he can't use his right hand well and I don't think he'll be walking in the 21 days his insurance will pay for. Today he called to say he has pneumonia. He had a lot of trouble breathing last night. I'm worrying about how bad this could be. He still looks bad but he is so frustrated and angry at the whole thing that we can't really talk to him about any of it. He just shuts us down.

The reason I haven't written in a while is because we're going to have to move. We're going to a senior living apartment complex. Neither of my parents can be on their own so we are going with them to be their live in aids for now. The house we're in is old and needs more work than we can handle. It's been a circus around here. We're still stuck waiting to see if we're going to get in to the apartment at the moment. I don't know what we'll do when dad's out of rehab if he can't walk because we're still waiting for word on his Medicaid, I filled out the paperwork the day after he went into the hospital. If he had that we might be able to get a nurse or other help. Right now I'm just stressing some more. I wish I saw an end to that.

I'm thinking about just taking down the gofundme I've never gotten anything. Oh well that's fine. I don't have much time to do anything with it anyway. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and interest.

[lawngnome05]

after a lifetime of hearing about aragorn but not reading the books or watching the movies, genuinely nothing could have prepared me for his actual introduction. the hobbits picked this man out of a dumpster. he is a textbook softspoken angst prince and he is covered in dirt and he probably smells so bad. he’s the coolest man alive and is so casual about it. his number one skill is Knowing Where They Are and his number two skill is Having A Horrible Destiny That Torments Him. tolkien got it in one i’m afraid aragorn son of arathorn you are the guy of all time

[lawngnome05]

Sorry

I'm sorry I haven't responded to anyone in a while, things have been busy here lots of mini disasters. Dad is awake and coherent (he's 70 but after all this he looks 80). I sept last night at the hospital because he didn't want to be alone. My brother is there tonight because we can't leave our Mom on her own. Dad's plan is to go to a nursing home at this time, maybe permanently. That means we have a lot to do soon. We definitely need to move though our house is falling apart. He absolutely could not come back to this house. Everything is a mess. I'm still overwhelmed and I still can't plan until I have a better idea of what we want to do and where we're going to go.

[lawngnome05]

Dad

OK so I just got a call from the hospital they have taken my dad off the ventilator and he was able to answer yes or no questions. He still has a really bad infection. They don't know where it is or how much damage has been done but considering last time wasn't that long ago I imagine it's significant. His heart was also at 30% last time and they said it's worse now so I'm worried about that too. But at least I might get to actually see him awake at some point soon.

[lawngnome05]

I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to everyone I desperately needed a break to clear my head. Things are slow going and dad's health care is a waiting game right now. I wish I had a definite answer one way or another but I just don't. He's still not awake I know that. All this worrying is making me sick.

[lawngnome05]

Ooverwhelmed

Sorry everyone I need a break. I'll get back to you tomorrow hopefully with a clearer head. Anxiety is fun.

[lawngnome05]

Change

My grandma was saying "he's not gone yet." He's not but things aren't going to be ok one way or another. He may survive only to be put in hospice. I don't know. I updated my gofundme but as I said in the update none of the outcomes I can see are good. Dad is very very sick. We still need help. I'm sorry if I'm not very put together I just got the nurses call.

[lawngnome05]

My dad

Just to clarify my dad is still in the ICU at this time but we were told to that he is not getting better and we needed to start making some choices. So I don't know how long it will be but the funeral will be coming soon, I imagine.

[lawngnome05]

Thank you

I appreciate everyone's help. I don't use social media much at all but I'm kinda desperate here. I hate to ask for help like this but it's needed. Anything is wonderful and more than I hoped for.

[lawngnome05]

[lawngnome05]

PC 8K version

[lawngnome05]

I’ve realised that what I miss about fantasy is it being truly escapist. I miss it depicting places where I would actually want to go.

Every dang kid I knew waited for their Hogwarts acceptance letter. Reading the books and seeing it on screen gave you this warm, fuzzy feeling and a feeling of longing, even when they were in danger and fighting monsters and evil wizards, you want to be there.

You want to go to Middle Earth, see hobbits and elves and dwarves and run through this land of incredible beauty, mysticism and magic.

You want to be in the TARDIS, seeing the universe.

The more recent trend of fantasy is this gritty, dark realism and places where you would just never want to go. I don’t want to go to Westeros. I don’t want to be in The Hunger Games, I don’t particularly want to be in The Witcher universe. I’m living in the world of Black Mirror and I hate it.

Fantasy used to say “hey our world kinda sucks but here’s a cooler one”, but now it says “hey our world kinda sucks, but here’s an even worse one.”

That isn’t to say that the above are bad. They’re not. 

But I miss beautiful, escapist fantasy that gives me a break. That takes me somewhere magical, somewhere otherworldly and gives me messages of hope and optimism in the face of darkness. I really, really miss that.

[lawngnome05]

Y/N: I only have two moods

Y/N: *turns to Negan*

Y/N: Fuck you.

Y/N: *turns to Daryl*

Y/N: Fuck me.

[lawngnome05]

Take it from someone who has been around the fandom block: 

fanfiction.net is dying.

all the signs are there. 

if you have no other record of any fics you have there… you might wanna… like… do something about that. 

[lawngnome05]

FUCK YOU DISNEY

Anyways, y’all better start saving your fave fanfics and fanart under the Disney labels cause it looks like they’re trying to curb fair use/fanworks and I’m sure there’s going to be mass panicked deletions even though it’s probably unnecessary cause AO3′s legal team will fight for us.

[lawngnome05]

【モーショントレース完成】