lcpislczulii

[lcpislczulii]

Lapis was beyond terrified. Her first thought once she realised that she couldn’t free herself by even running, much less flying, was that she was going to be shattered. Being cracked was one thing but having been already repurposed once? This had to be her end.

Even as those fears spiralled through her thoughts, the water gem couldn’t help but turn to fully view the one who had given her this false sense of hope.

The gem her mirror-like eyes laid on was nothing like whom she’d expected to see. This gem was… Lapis’ eyes traced from her saviour’s navel up to her face — her face which dawned four eyes and… another gem?

Lapis could feel another cascade of emotion wash over her that included fear, confusion, and only a small glimmer of hope.

“W-why would you free me?” Lapis asked, her voice shaking as she held one hand near her chest, the other gripping her skirt tightly. Outside of being shaken by the insurmountable amount of time that has passed, she was now trying to piece together what she could see around her. This didn’t seem like Homeworld — but she knew that that was an unlikely hope. She could only assume she was on Earth, then.

The gem she was look at was clearly a fusion; a fusion made up on two different types of gems. That was something Lapis knew to be wrong, only feeding her assumption that she was on Earth. She continued trying to piece together information but she still couldn’t figure out key details. As she stood there, her list of questions only added up — though Lapis couldn’t find her voice to immediately ask any of them.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ⸻‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ 𝓻𝓮𝓹𝓵𝔂 ‏‏‎ ‎‎𝓯𝓸𝓻‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎ ; ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎@lcpislczulii ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎{ ‏‏‎ ‎♡ ‏‏‎ ‎}

Bright lights flashed in front of Rainbow Quartz's eyes as the Gem began to glow, ‏‏‎ ‎the spectacular reformation making the fusion giddily nervous and starry-eyed. ‏‏‎ Any fear or doubts that her counterparts may have had vanished within seconds. ‏‏‎ ‎Now only playful excitement and wonder remained as Rose and Pearl's arguments disappeared into the back of Rainbow's mind. ‏‏‎ ‎This moment took precedence above all else now.

Brilliantly blue and beautiful, ‏‏‎ ‎the Gem collapsed in front of her, ‏‏‎ ‎wobbling to life like a new born fawn. ‏‏‎ ‎She was scared, ‏‏‎ ‎a feeling Rainbow knew quite well. ‏‏‎ ‎In an attempt to seem less oppressive and threatening the tall fusion rested upon her knees with her feet tucked underneath, ‏‏‎ ‎her transparent shirtdress settling across her lap. ‏‏‎ ‎Impulsive movement could frighten the stranger further, ‏‏‎ ‎so Rainbow Quartz did her best to remain completely still. ‏‏‎ ‎This Gem had been imprisoned for centuries, ‏‏‎ ‎cracked, ‏‏‎ ‎and forgotten. ‏‏‎ ‎She flapped pathetically like a bird with a broken wing freed from a cage.

❝ ‏‏‎‎We have released you from the mirror. . . ‎❞ ‏‏‎ ‎She said calmly. ‏‏‎ ‎ ❝ ‏‏‎‎Please— ‏‏‎ ‎don't move, ‏‏‎ ‎you're hurt. . . ‎❞

[lcpislczulii]

Things had been nothingness for so long. 

While Lapis was still a conscious being, it felt like she would never know freedom like that again. She had spent so long lost in her own thoughts and unable to do anything about it that it felt like that was forever her reality. It had to be, right? First, she’d been left to stare at the sky for who knows how long. That existence was torture all in its own right, but what came next was what had left Lapis in such a poorly psychological state. 

Lapis thought that being found by someone would have been her reprieve. How mistaken she had been. 

Being found was a relief that Lapis accepted too quickly —  which made being stored away like an object and condemned to centuries of sensory deprivation feel like being cracked all over again. She couldn’t believe that someone had found her left behind by the galaxy warp and did her the disservice of just putting her away as if she wasn’t a sentient being. 

The time that she had gone through this made the shock of suddenly being assaulted with senses feel disorienting. Beyond just being gifted any opportunity to see and hear again, she was gifted the sensation of pain. It was a blinding pain that she would have screamed out if it were possible. Before she could even consider the possibilities of what was happening, she was…

Reforming?

Lapis collapsed on the ground the moment her body finished forming. The pain she had experienced was beginning to subside but her confusion and disorientation were front-facing. Before considering a word to say, her initial reaction was an attempt to fly away.

“W-what did you do?” Lapis spoke, the first words she’d said in so long.

While Lapis knew she was cracked, she didn’t know what that meant for a physical form before this point. Was her inability to fly because she was cracked or was it because of whatever just happened? 

Lapis’ panic was clear as she struggled to get to her feet, reflective eyes wide from the shock and fear of this very abrupt change to her situation.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ⸻‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎𝓯𝓸𝓻‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎ ; ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎@lcpislczulii

‏‎Focus had been poor as of late. . . ‏‏‎ ‎Rainbow Quartz was experiencing higher amounts of stress, ‏‏‎ ‎her counterparts becoming increasingly distracted during moments that required utmost attention— ‏‏‎ ‎to the point of nearly unfusing. . . ‏‏‎ ‎It was a clear indication that something was wrong between Rose and Pearl. ‏‏‎ ‎Garnet, ‏‏‎ ‎being futuristically inclined and an astute observer, ‏‏‎ ‎was very much aware of their current issue,‏‏‎ ‎ and left to handle a solo mission in order to give them time alone.‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‎Painted nails drummed along a silken sleeve. ‏‏‎ ‎Gentle footsteps could be heard through the empty Temple as the fusion paced back and forth, ‏‏‎ ‎a conversation echoing deep in her mind. ‏‏‎ ‎Contemplating quietly about her current predicament, ‏‏‎ ‎she tried to understand the thoughts and feelings her counterparts were experiencing.

❛‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎This is ridiculous. . . ! ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‎We can't focus like this. . . ! ‏‏‎ ‎❜ ❛‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎What's wrong, ‏‏‎ ‎Pearl. . . ? ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎What can I do to help. . . ? ‏‏‎ ‎❜ ❛‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‎It's just too much. . . ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎There's this overwhelming pressure. . . ‏‏‎ ‎❜ ❛‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎Perhaps we should clear our heads. . . ? ‏‏‎ ‎❜ ❛‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎Clear our heads. . . ‏‏‎ ‎Oh,‏‏‎ ‎ you're brilliant Rose ! ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎Let's clean out our gems ! ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎That will surely free up extra space for processing.‏‏‎ ‎❜

Piles of miscellaneous objects lay scattered in a semi-organized mess. ‏‏‎ ‎It would be impressive if it wasn't so detrimental. ‏‏‎ ‎All of these items had taken up so much memory that it was causing the fusion to suffer. ‏‏‎ ‎After a few hours of sorting, ‏‏‎ ‎the last few random artifacts tucked away in Pearl's gem were revealed. ‏‏‎ ‎One stood out among the others—‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎A particularly ornate mirror with a cracked Gem on the back. . .

❛‎ ‎When did this get in here. . . ? ‏‏‎ ‎❜ ❛‎ ‎There's a Gem imbedded in this. . . ! ‏‏‎ ‎We have to release it. . . !‏‏‎ ‎❜ ❛‎ This is a Homeworld Gem you're talking about, ‏‏‎ ‎Rose. . . ‏‏‎ ‎❜ ❛‎ ‎Does that really matter right now ? ‏‏‎ ‎She's cracked. . . ‏‏‎ ‎We should help her. . . ! ‏‏‎ ‎❜

Without wasting time on another internal argument, ‏‏‎ ‎Rainbow Quartz immediately held the mirror firmly in her hand, ‏‏‎ ‎gripping her fingers around the Gem, ‏‏‎ ‎and with a shaking strength tore it from the mirror.

[lcpislczulii]

hmm

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

I need more day to day RPers I can casually make up threads with on discord. Like just spontaneous ideas on discord with 3-4 threads going that may or may not be shorter and more casual. That sounds fun. I miss doing that with a couple close friends back in the day… it’s been rough since then.

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

So things were fun but now I am back on the grind. I am so panicked about the bills I have to face and idk how to fix it. I know asking for money won’t work bc i have seen it fail. I’m just… ugh still having a bunch of issue from the hail storm, you know.

[lcpislczulii]

I thought I’d add more.

Estelle told me to never fear doing things that I worry might embarrass me. She told me that we only have this moment once, so I shouldn’t let embarrassment hold me back. Estelle said it, so I guess it’s gotta be true.

Deedee gave me a hug when I first started talking to her because I was shaking and about to cry.

Michaela recognised my cosplay right away and got really excited and then took pictures of me and my girlfriend (who was cosplaying as Pearl).

This is all the signed stuff I got! I was really hyped when I saw the photo that Jennifer Paz signed (obviously lol I love Lapis so this was awesome) so I had to get that too — also the cosplays are literally Jennifer and Deedee! It’s so cool!

ooc;;

You guys, I had the absolute most amazing day today. I got to meet Deedee Magno Hall (Pearl’s VA), Michaela Dietz (Amethyst’s VA), and Estelle (Garnet’s VA) and they are some of the most darling people I’ve ever had the chance to interact with. Outside of simple curtesy, they didn’t treat meeting fans like a job. Every conversation was unique and special in its own way and it was so overwhelmingly awesome, I’m not sure it’s all sank in yet.

Deedee even played my girlfriend’s ukulele and we sang in a little group together! It was so insanely cool to experience. I’m still speechless at the thought.

Anyway, here are some pics I got. Ignore my face, but look at these lovely ladies!

Also a fun little thing: Michaela called me weird for wanting to take a pic of her at her booth, and then gave me a signed headshot for free even after still awkwardly posing for my picture lol

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

You guys, I had the absolute most amazing day today. I got to meet Deedee Magno Hall (Pearl’s VA), Michaela Dietz (Amethyst’s VA), and Estelle (Garnet’s VA) and they are some of the most darling people I’ve ever had the chance to interact with. Outside of simple curtesy, they didn’t treat meeting fans like a job. Every conversation was unique and special in its own way and it was so overwhelmingly awesome, I’m not sure it’s all sank in yet.

Deedee even played my girlfriend’s ukulele and we sang in a little group together! It was so insanely cool to experience. I’m still speechless at the thought.

Anyway, here are some pics I got. Ignore my face, but look at these lovely ladies!

Also a fun little thing: Michaela called me weird for wanting to take a pic of her at her booth, and then gave me a signed headshot for free even after still awkwardly posing for my picture lol

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

Hi, sorry for late replies again. I’m overwhelmed by good news this time!

I’m meeting Deedee Magno Hall, Michaela Dietz, and Estelle this weekend!!! I’m so hyped but also terrified. How does one speak to bird mom 🥺

[lcpislczulii]

Lapis listened to Steven Squared as he spoke about the different types of painting and art, nodding along to show that she was listening. “I started with doing… I guess they would be sculptures? We started off making morps just out of the stuff in the barn.” She commented, “But it shifted into more painting and sketching after I started reading comics.” If she were being honest, Peridot had been the one that suggested Lapis try painting since she could manipulate water. 

When asked if she would be willing to show the other what she’s made, Lapis looked back at the barn and then at Steven Squared. She noticed him staring off but chose not to address it, worried it would add to the already stuffy air between them. “Yeah, sure.” She decided to say, nodding a little. 

First Impressions | @lcpislczulii

Continued

Steven Squared was debating on rather he should venture through the unfamiliar forest to get to the barn they knew was some distance ahead of them, or just stay right here to enjoy the brief calm before any emotional storm that would arise from seeing her again. On one hand, Steven was waiting for them and the fusion would hate to make him needlessly worry, on the other hand the fusion hallucinations were not the best and just how they had mixed feelings on Lapis could cause that to happen at any moment. "Just keep it together, Steven... he just wants everyone to be happy... we have to do this for him." He took a deep calming breath. "We're here together... I can do this."

Classic Steven listened to Lapis explain the noise and looked over in the direction of the noise, his first thought that it might have been Gem Steven since he typically liked to travel in leaps and slowly floating down, while Human Steven simply took leisurely strolls unless he had to run. He was ripped from his thoughts on the source of the noise to the sound of Lapis' distress. She sounded hesitant. He took a moment to think. One part of him wanted to check and see if it was his brothers since he was almost sure it had to be them, but on the other hand, he didn't want Lapis to be upset if he agreed to her offer since she didn't sound so enthusiastic about it. He thought to text his brothers again, but he also didn't want to make it seem like he was getting impatient because he already know that Gem Steven wasn't all that willing do this thing in the first place and he didn't wanna be pushy about it.

Steven Squared got up, "Alright... let's do this." He paused to fix his hair and paused, "Oh, almost forgot the most important thing before we go to meet up with her." He summoned a pair of obnoxiously green shutter shades from his gem and put them over his eyes. "Alright, now I think we're ready to go." He smiled as they started heading in the direction of the barn.

Classic Steven nodded, "Yea, we should. That's the same direction as the warp pad, and I'm sure that it had to have been them that fell over, I need to make sure they didn't get hurt to bad." He replied.

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

Okay I’m gonna reply tomorrow or the next day. That’s my goal for this blog and my white pearl (@silcnced). I was going to try and reply tonight but my health is acting up and I have been icky feeling all night.

In other news I have so many inactive followers, it’s kinda insane tbh. I only follow like 60 blogs but I have 1000+ followers. I can promise you that at least 900 are inactive. It’s wild. Anyway, I’m signing off.

Like I said, I’m thinking of replies to people. I’ll get them down on notes soon, I promise.

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

Heyya friends. I finally have a stable car to use and am starting to feel a bit better, so I’ll try to get around to replying soon 🙌 this includes my au white pearl blog too @silcnced

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

Hey sorry for being a bit selective and only replying to threads I have muse for. I still don’t have a new car and finances are basically screwed so I’m having issues talking to just about everyone.

[lcpislczulii]

Lapis only realised that Black Star had started tearing up when she refocused her eyes on the smaller gem after her statement. She was about to start word-vomiting about how she was sorry that she used her words the way she had. Her own guilt for being so selfish after leaving Black Star made her feel self-conscious. Hearing Black Star speak in that shaky tone knocked her out of her head for just a moment.

Being told that she could absolutely be a part of her girlfriend’s life yet again felt like a weight off of her chest. Was it okay to call Black Star her girlfriend again? Lapis tried really hard to fight the urge to ask the monochromatic gem in her lap such a thing.

Feeling a bit of relief through her anxiety, Lapis held Black Star a little tighter as well. “I’m glad.” She said, not being clear on what she was responding to exactly. It was all of it. “I could never imagine walking all the way to town. Couldn’t be me.”

A second went by before Lapis spoke again. “Thank you, Bstar. I’m really looking forward to hearing all about these last couple years.”

Closed RP with blackstarsiopside

@blackstardiopside

Lapis was so nervous.

The moment things were getting genuine and serious, she had left. It wasn’t just her relationship with the Diopside that caused her to flee, but the fear of commitment had definitely fed into it. Her fear of Homeworld, the truth of Pink Diamond, and the realness of growing close to Black Star had all made her feel the need to escape… And so she did. She flew away without telling a soul where she was going or when she intended on being back; she wasn’t even sure if she was coming back.

But there she was standing on the grassy earth, in a staring match with Black Star’s front door. What was she going to say? How could she explain herself? It had been years since she’d last seen the small Earth gem and she wasn’t sure if she could convey her feelings to the other. How was she supposed to tell Black Star that she’d panicked and ultimately damned herself to do exactly what she’d spent 1000 years doing after she was left by the galaxy warp?

Before she could talk herself out of it, the Homeworld gem light knocked on the door. She held herself tightly with her other arm as she tried to keep herself together and not run again.

[lcpislczulii]

Lapis was sure she made a face at being asked such a thing. Even just thinking back to all of those years, she could feel the sinking crushing feeling inside of her again. It made her feel restless and dizzy, almost ill if she could have been. “That mirror was a prison.” She said in a slight mumble, staring off as she tried figuring out her words. 

“Imagine being in a complete void, blackness all around. No one to talk to, no way to get out. Just… stuck there. Forever. And being aware that that is just all you are…” 

At least before she had been found by Pearl, she had had the sky to observe. But afterwards? Nothingness.

Lapis gripped her hands but didn't immediately reply. Would it have been better to end up like any one of those Crystal Gems that were shattered and forced into experimentation where they clearly ahd some idea what was happening to them? Or to be corrupted to the point that she would never be able to form correctly again?

Instead of replying with a straight answer, LApis simply replied, "Anything would have been better than that mirror."

[lcpislczulii]

Lapis nodded again when Black Star agreed with her about being a super gem. The fact that Lapis had freaked out and ran away from just a small fraction of the same workload… It really proved to Lapis that Black Star was strong and so capable. Lapis had always thought that Black Star was someone better than herself, but now it was only more obvious. 

While trying to push her own self-deprecating thoughts away, Lapis looked down at the other. Upon being asked why she shouldn’t be thanked for asking about Black Star’s life, the blue gem let out a thoughtful hum. Why not? There were plenty of reasons why she felt being thanked for such a normal catching-up question wasn’t okay, but her biggest reason still fell onto her and her selfishness. 

“Because… I only asked to get an idea of if…” Lapis let out a small groan, realising that she was really putting her greed on full display. “Of if there was really even time for me to be here with you.” Saying it out loud was both embarrassing and shameful for Lapis. She could have just asked directly and it probably would have sounded better. 

After what felt like too long of a pause, even though it was probably only a matter of seconds, Lapis spoke again, “I do really care what’s going on in your life though… I just want to know if I… can be a part of it.” She was staring off at nothing as she spoke, clearly uncomfortable with saying those feelings out loud. “That’s why you shouldn’t be thanking me.” 

Closed RP with blackstarsiopside

@blackstardiopside

Lapis was so nervous.

The moment things were getting genuine and serious, she had left. It wasn’t just her relationship with the Diopside that caused her to flee, but the fear of commitment had definitely fed into it. Her fear of Homeworld, the truth of Pink Diamond, and the realness of growing close to Black Star had all made her feel the need to escape… And so she did. She flew away without telling a soul where she was going or when she intended on being back; she wasn’t even sure if she was coming back.

But there she was standing on the grassy earth, in a staring match with Black Star’s front door. What was she going to say? How could she explain herself? It had been years since she’d last seen the small Earth gem and she wasn’t sure if she could convey her feelings to the other. How was she supposed to tell Black Star that she’d panicked and ultimately damned herself to do exactly what she’d spent 1000 years doing after she was left by the galaxy warp?

Before she could talk herself out of it, the Homeworld gem light knocked on the door. She held herself tightly with her other arm as she tried to keep herself together and not run again.

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

Honestly despite the thought and consideration regarding my previous post, I may still delete it. I’m feeling insecure about asking for anything. I dunno… ugh.

[lcpislczulii]

ooc;;

I know this is annoying but I wanted to reach out for some possible crowdfunding assistance. My car was totalled because of a freak hail storm that happened on June 14th of this year. I am trying my best to handle on my own but my bank account is $552 in the negative. My work account (DoorDash) has $4.90 total in it (I use this account to eat and get gas.) and I am at a loss. State Farm is taking my car to pay back the loan on it on Tuesday, July 11th. This leaves me unable to work until I get access to another car.

My only job is DoorDash because I have POTS and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and can’t stand for long periods without feeling faint or actually fainting. Without my car, I can’t work… I also can’t get to appointments, including important neurological treatments I need.

I’m getting a new car soon — it’s a Toyota that is out of my budget (blame capitalism as to why I can’t buy a more affordable car. I need a car I can pay monthly because I never have more than $1k to my name at a time) and I need to figure out what to do until it comes in. It’s shipping to the dealership soon.

TL;DR Basically I need money to rent a car until my new car is available, which could be 3-5 business days from now (the dealer says). I am over 25yo with a good record, and a clean drivers license. Renting a car will cost around $75 a day. So I’m seeking $400-$450 total so I will have enough to continue working through the days I won’t have a car.

PayPal: danganronpawalkthrough@gmail.com or @wbjester

Venmo: @phfatbeatrice

Cashapp: $wjester

If you wanna share some other way, let me know. I’m just… struggling. I’ve been working more than 40 hours a week, but even that doesn’t make up for it and when my car gets taken by State Farm…. I’m stuck.

Some proof screenshots are attached. Censored details are personal names, addresses, or other local info that could dox me. The second checking account that is censored in the first screenshot is my mom’s account. I’m only a co-signer because she cannot have an account for herself legally. That money is not mine, it’s my mom’s. Also I don’t have rental coverage despite State Farm having that on the checklist. I couldn’t afford that on top of the car payments and full coverage insurance. I can post copies of my full policy if need be.