leaderwon

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 46 — KISS ME, THEN LEAVE

wc — 600+

prev — masterlist — next

It starts with rain.

The sky is an open wound, spilling over the campus in sheets, drenching everything in silver. Thunder growls low and long, like it’s waiting for something. Or someone. You’re not sure why you didn’t check the forecast, why you didn’t bring an umbrella, why your heart starts racing when you realize the only shelter nearby is the old library building — the one that barely anyone uses now.

You’re soaked by the time you step inside, water trailing down your arms and pooling beneath your shoes. The door creaks shut behind you. And he’s there.

Sunghoon.

He’s leaning against a bookshelf, a paperback in hand, hair slightly mussed like he’s been here a while. When he looks up, the air shifts. You feel it immediately. A sharp, silent ripple that passes between you both like static.

He doesn’t say anything at first.

Neither do you.

You’re shivering, your clothes sticking to your skin, your heart doing the kind of thing that hearts only do when they’re about to change everything.

"You're drenched," he finally says, his voice soft, cautious. Like if he speaks too loudly, something fragile will break. You shrug. "Didn’t expect rain."

A beat. Then, "You always forget your umbrella."

The weight of his words settles in your chest. He remembers. The little things. Always has.

You swallow. It’s unbearable, the silence that follows, filled with too many things left unsaid. You want to scream. You want to run. You want to—

"I broke up with Daniel," you blurt, and your voice echoes a little too loudly in the high ceilinged space.

His brows lift, but he doesn’t move. "Why?" You look down. "Because he was right. I was lying to myself." Sunghoon sets the book down gently. He doesn’t interrupt. He waits.

You step closer. "I’ve been avoiding it. You. Everything. Because I was scared. Because I thought maybe if I stayed busy enough or distracted myself with someone else, the feelings would just — go away."

"And did they?" You shake your head. "No. Not even for a second."

The room feels heavier now. The air between you charged and thick.

He takes a slow step forward, and it’s so quiet you hear the raindrops tapping the windows like impatient fingers. He’s right in front of you now. So close, you can see the tiny mole under his jaw. The way his lashes clump slightly from the humidity.

"This isn’t fair to you," you whisper. "I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know if I’m ready for this. I just know that I can’t stop thinking about you."

He reaches up — his fingers brushing a wet strand of hair from your cheek, tucking it gently behind your ear. And in that moment, something shifts again. You see it in his eyes — the war, the surrender, the longing.

And then he kisses you.

It’s not gentle. It’s not hesitant.

It’s desperate.

His lips crash into yours like he’s been waiting a lifetime. Like he’s angry. Like he’s alive. Your fingers clutch the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, grounding yourself. Everything disappears — your confusion, the past, the storm outside.

Until he pulls away.

Breathless. Chest heaving.

He takes a step back, shaking his head, eyes filled with something you don’t understand yet. Something heavier than disappointment. More fragile than anger.

"You’re not ready."

It punches the air from your lungs.

"Sunghoon—"

"Don’t," he says, and he’s already stepping further away. "Don’t say anything. I know you think you’re ready. But you’re not. And I can’t do this again. I won’t be someone you run to just because you’re lost."

Your chest is a cavern. Hollow and echoing.

"It wasn’t like that," you say, voice cracking.

He just looks at you. Quiet. Wounded.

"I love you," you whisper.

And he smiles — sad, soft, shattering.

"Then learn how to love yourself first."

He turns. Walks away.

The door creaks open again. The rain hasn’t stopped. You’re alone.

But this time, the silence doesn’t feel empty.

It feels like something beginning.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

chapter 45 — INK & MEMORY

wc — 500+

prev — masterlist — next

It takes days before the embarrassment dulls. You spend most of your time in bed, blinds drawn, phone on Do Not Disturb. You can’t stop replaying the way Sunghoon looked at you, calm, almost pitying — as you stumbled through that drunken confession.

Confused. That’s what you’d said. And he had believed you.

You told him you didn’t know what you felt. And he believed that.

But that wasn’t the truth, was it?

Because as the days go by, and your head starts to clear, you remember things. Stupid things. Little things. And every single one of them has his name written all over it.

You remember the way he’d always walk on the side closest to the road. The way he’d quietly take your tray and dump it when you forgot. How he’d never laugh when you tripped over your words, just wait patiently and let you try again.

And then there were the times he’d show up outside your apartment when you were sick, pretending he "just happened to be in the area" with soup in hand.

You remember it all now. The warmth of those moments, the familiarity of him. The softness.

He had always been there.

You lie on your bed, fingers tangled in your blanket, and the guilt hits you like a wave. Because he had always been there. And you had looked right through him.

Not anymore.

You pull yourself out of bed and reach for your notebook. It's the one you used to use for journaling, back before everything exploded. Most of the pages are empty now, except for messy, half written thoughts and angry scribbles.

But this page, this one will be different.

You start writing. No edits. No second guesses.

Dear Sunghoon,

I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever give it to you. But I need to write it.

I need to say this somewhere, even if it’s just to myself.

I think I’ve been in love with you longer than I knew.

It’s not the kind of love that comes with fireworks and drama. It’s not loud or chaotic. It’s not like how it was with Jake or even Jay. It’s quieter. Softer. Slower. Like I blinked and one day I realized you were the only person who’s ever made me feel safe just by being around.

I miss you. Not just in the way people say they miss someone. I miss the you that would wait for me after class. The you who always knew when I needed to get out of my own head. The you who never pushed, who always stayed just long enough.

You told me you wouldn’t be my rebound.

You were right.

You’re not my rebound. You were never second choice. You were just… someone I didn’t understand I needed until it was too late.

I don’t expect anything from this. I don’t expect you to forgive me, or talk to me, or ever feel the same. I just needed to admit it.

I love you. And I’m sorry I didn’t know it sooner.

Love, Y/N

You stare at the letter for a long time after the ink dries. Then, without thinking too hard, you fold it once and tuck it into the back of your notebook. It’s not meant to be sent. Not now. Maybe not ever.

But for the first time in a long time, something in your chest feels lighter.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 44 — CONFRONTATION

wc — 600+

prev — masterlist — next

The party is too loud. That’s your first thought as you step into the buzzing chaos of someone’s off campus house, the bass reverberating through the floor and straight into your chest. You shouldn’t have come. But Lia insisted, said it’d be good for you. Said you needed to "get out of your head."

You don’t tell her that your head isn’t the problem. Your heart is.

It’s been a week since Daniel broke things off in the library, and you’ve been moving like you’re underwater ever since. You told yourself it didn’t hurt, that you hadn’t been serious about him anyway. But something about the way he’d said it — You love him, still rings in your ears.

You don’t know what to do with that. You still don’t.

So you drink.

The solo cup in your hand is filled with something too sweet and far too strong, but you down it anyway. Lia disappears somewhere into the crowd, laughing, and you let her go. You’re not in the mood to chase anyone. You don’t want to talk. You just want to stop thinking.

But the universe doesn’t care what you want, because of course he’s here.

Sunghoon.

You spot him across the room, leaning against the kitchen counter, drink in hand. He’s mid-laugh at something a girl beside him says, and he throws his head back, his eyes crinkling the way they do when he’s genuinely amused.

It punches the air right out of your lungs.

You don’t realize you’re walking until you’re halfway across the room. You don’t realize what you’re doing until he’s looking at you. He straightens a little when he sees you, brows knitting with quiet surprise. "Y/N?"

"Hey," you say, way too casual for how fast your heart’s racing. "Didn’t think I’d see you here." He gives you a half smile. "You okay?" You blink. "Yeah. Totally. Great." He studies you for a moment. You know that look — it’s the same one he used to give you back when you’d pretend everything was fine even when it wasn’t. Like he’s trying to see through you. Like he already does.

Yiu hate it.

"Sunghoon," you blurt, barely aware of how close you’ve stepped. "Can we talk? Somewhere… quieter?" He hesitates but nods. "Yeah. Sure."

You end up in the backyard, the chill of the night air sobering you just enough to regret this already.

You cross your arms over your chest, trying to find the words. "I don’t know what I’m doing." He watches you, unreadable. "Okay." "I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. And I don’t know what I feel. About… anything."

Silence.

You feel it creeping up again — that terrible, vulnerable feeling that makes you want to scream or cry or disappear altogether. "I just— every time I see you with someone else, I feel like I’m going to lose it. And I don’t know why." You’re breathless by the time you finish, blinking too fast. "I’m confused. That’s all I’m trying to say."

He’s quiet for a long moment. Then he exhales.

"I get it."

You look at him, hopeful. Too hopeful.

"But I’m not going to be your rebound, Y/N."

You freeze.

"I’ve done the back and forth thing with you before. I’ve seen you cry over Jay. I watched you date Daniel. And I know you’re still figuring things out, but I can’t be another mistake you make on your way to clarity."

His voice is gentle, but it shatters you anyway.

"So what?" you ask, voice cracking. "You’re just done with me?" He looks at you like it hurts him too. "I’m not done with you. I’m just done being hurt by you."

That does it.

You don’t say another word. You turn and walk back into the house, back into the noise and the lights and the people who don’t know the kind of wreckage you just walked away from.

You feel humiliated.

Not because of what you said.

But because of how much it still matters.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 43 — JEALOUSY

wc — 400+

prev — masterlist — next

luna's diary : writers block goes HARD :(

You see Sunghoon with another girl again, and this time, something inside you snaps. You don't even realize you're staring until Lia nudges you with her elbow, a knowing smirk on her face.

"You're going to burn a hole through them if you keep looking like that," she teases. You scoff, rolling your eyes. "I wasn’t looking." Jay, who’s been quiet for most of lunch, finally speaks up. "You so were." Lia hums, her grin widening. "Yeah, and you’re gripping your fork like you want to stab someone."

You let out a laugh, too forced to be genuine. "You guys are ridiculous. I don’t care what he does. He’s just my friend." "Right," Jay says dryly, sipping his drink. "Just your friend."

You shift in your seat, suddenly feeling suffocated. The teasing doesn’t stop there. It follows you throughout the day, little jabs from Lia and Jay every time Sunghoon so much as breathes near you. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter. You tell yourself you’re not bothered. You tell yourself you don’t care.

But the lie doesn’t stick when Daniel pulls you aside after class.

"We need to talk," he says, expression unreadable.

You hesitate but nod, following him to the library. It’s quiet, empty enough that your hushed voices won’t draw attention.

Daniel exhales, running a hand through his hair. "I think we both know this isn’t working."

Your stomach twists. "What do you mean?"

He gives you a look, soft but firm. "You love him."

The words knock the air out of your lungs. You shake your head instantly. "No, I don’t—" "Y/N." His voice is gentle, but there’s no room for argument. "I see it. Everyone sees it. Maybe even he does too." Your throat tightens. "That’s not true."

Daniel smiles, and it’s the kind of smile that makes you feel worse. "I like you, Y/N. You’re great. But you don’t look at me the way you look at him. And I don’t want to be with someone who’s in love with someone else."

Silence stretches between you. The denial is at the tip of your tongue, but it doesn’t come out.

Because maybe he’s right. You exhale shakily. "I’m sorry."

Daniel nods, the tension leaving his shoulders. "Don’t be. Just… figure it out, yeah?"

He leaves before you can say anything else. And for the first time, you’re forced to sit with the truth you’ve been running from.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 42 — DENIAL

wc — 1.1k+

prev — masterlist — next

You didn’t think it would get this quiet.

Not the kind of quiet where everything feels still, calm. It was the sort of quiet that settles deep in your bones and makes the world feel like it's paused just for you to realize how empty you are.

Ever since that night — the night you stood in your room, telling yourself over and over again that you didn’t like Sunghoon, things hadn’t felt the same. You tried to convince yourself the ache wasn’t real. That it didn’t sting when you saw him walking to class with that same girl from before, casually laughing at something she said.

You weren’t close anymore. That was clear. He hadn’t been avoiding you, not really — but the space between you had stretched, like something invisible had snapped and neither of you knew how to knot it back together. It wasn’t cold. Just… unfamiliar.

So, you pivoted.

You said yes to the first guy who asked you out after midterms.

His name was Daniel. He was nice. The kind of nice that made you feel guilty for not liking him more. You met him through a mutual friend at a party you almost didn’t attend. You had spent half the night glancing at your phone, hoping — stupidly, for a message from Sunghoon that wouldn’t come. So when Daniel leaned in, a cup in his hand and a crooked grin on his face, and said, "You look like you could use some air," you followed him out without thinking.

The conversation flowed easily. He didn’t know about your past. About Jake. About Jay. About the letters or the mess they left behind. He didn’t ask about Sunghoon. He didn’t say your name like it meant something tragic.

That night, you let yourself laugh. You let yourself believe that maybe, maybe this was a good idea.

By your second hangout, Daniel was walking you back to your apartment and saying things like, "You’re funnier than I expected," and, "I haven’t met anyone like you before."

You smiled. You laughed. You kissed him at your doorstep and pretended it didn’t feel wrong.

The next morning, you woke up to a good morning text with too many exclamation marks. You stared at it for a long time, phone in hand, before you replied.

You didn’t tell Lia.

Lia would see through you in an instant, and you didn’t want to explain that the only reason you were still texting Daniel was because you missed the way Sunghoon used to look at you. Like you mattered. Like you made sense.

You didn’t want to admit how much you missed being known.

Over the next few weeks, Daniel made it easy.

He took you out for coffee and studied with you in the library. He made stupid jokes and sent you TikToks he thought you’d like. He touched your hand under the table, grinning like he couldn’t believe his luck, and you’d squeeze back — because pretending was easier than admitting that every time you closed your eyes, you still saw Sunghoon sitting across from you on the floor, flipping through your notes with that stupid concentration face.

Sunghoon didn’t ask about Daniel. But he knew.

He saw you one afternoon, walking past the campus garden. You had just said something Daniel thought was hilarious — you didn’t even remember what — and he was laughing too loud, tugging your hand playfully, when you spotted him.

Sunghoon.

Standing by the vending machine, his hand hovering over the keypad. His expression blank, unreadable. Eyes fixed on you and Daniel.

Your breath caught. You didn’t stop walking. But something in you faltered.

He didn’t look angry. Or jealous. Just… distant. Like a stranger.

Daniel didn’t notice.

But you couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. For the rest of the week.

Later that night, you scrolled through your camera roll, landing on a picture you forgot you had: Sunghoon, sitting on your couch, a blanket over his head like a cape, looking grumpy because you’d just beaten him in Mario Kart. You zoomed in on his expression, the slight upturn at the corner of his mouth, the way his eyes betrayed his amusement even though he was trying to act annoyed.

You deleted the picture.

Or you tried to. Your thumb hovered over the trash icon for a solid minute before you locked your phone and shoved it under your pillow instead.

You kept dating Daniel.

He started calling you by a nickname you didn’t particularly like, but you didn’t correct him. He introduced you to his friends at lunch, draping an arm around your shoulder like it was second nature. They smiled politely. You smiled back. None of it felt real.

You didn’t tell Daniel about your past.

Not because you were ashamed — but because you couldn’t imagine him understanding. The version of you that he saw wasn’t the real one. It was curated. Edited. Stripped of the mess and the grief and the tangled history of the last few months.

One night, he brought you flowers. Tulips. They were pretty.

He handed them over with a bashful grin, like he was nervous you’d say no. You didn’t. You kissed his cheek and thanked him and put them in a glass on your kitchen counter.

You didn’t tell him tulips had been Jay’s favorite.

And you didn’t expect the wave of nausea that hit you that night, when you were lying beside Daniel on the couch and he reached for your hand, threading his fingers through yours.

It wasn’t the same.

You remembered how Sunghoon used to take your hand gently, like it was something precious. How he never rushed. How even the smallest touches had felt loud with meaning.

This? This was quiet. Too quiet.

You told yourself it was fine. That Daniel was sweet and good and normal. That you weren’t broken. That if you just gave it time, something would click.

It didn’t.

You went on like that for another few weeks.

Until the night Daniel said, “I think I’m falling for you.”

You froze.

You stared at him, eyes wide, heart pounding in your chest. He didn’t notice your panic at first. He leaned in to kiss you, still smiling, still looking at you like you were everything.

You turned your head.

The kiss landed on your cheek. The silence between you finally cracked.

You broke up with him two days later.

He took it better than you expected. Hurt, obviously. But not angry. He said, “I hope you figure it out. Whatever it is.” You nodded. Said sorry again. Watched him walk away.

And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself sit in the aftermath without trying to clean it up.

You missed Sunghoon.

But more than that, you missed yourself.

You didn’t know what to do with that yet.

So you sat with it. Just sat.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

lowk sometimes I'm glad I'm not known very well on this app i can't w the drama 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 41 — NEW BEGINNINGS

wc — 800+

prev — masterlist — next

The days slipped into a quiet rhythm, one that felt both familiar and unsettling. You weren’t sure when the tension around you had eased, but it had, like a long-held breath finally exhaled. Classes felt lighter, conversations less strained, and somehow, the world seemed just a little bit more forgiving.

You’d started to piece yourself back together. It wasn’t perfect — you were still figuring out what it meant to be okay, but you were getting there. Journaling helped. You wrote down thoughts that wouldn’t leave you alone, confessions you couldn’t say out loud. Little truths that made your chest feel lighter, even if just for a moment.

Lia was sprawled out on your bed, scrolling through her phone while you tried to focus on your notes. She glanced up every few minutes, probably sensing how lost in thought you were.

Finally, she broke the silence. “You know, you’ve been... different lately.” You looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Different how?” She shrugged, tucking her legs beneath her. “I don’t know. Like, less... weighed down. But also kind of distant. Are you really over it all?”

You paused, pen hovering above the page. Over it all. What did that even mean? You swallowed the urge to give her some automatic reassurance. “I don’t know,” you admitted. “Some days, it feels like I’m past it. Other days, it’s like it all comes crashing back.”

Lia hummed in understanding. “Makes sense. You went through a lot.” You gave a weak smile. “Yeah.”

She didn’t push further, just offered you a small, supportive nod before going back to her phone. You were grateful for that — grateful that she didn’t expect you to have it all figured out.

The next morning, campus was buzzing with the kind of energy that only a Friday could bring. You walked with Lia to the courtyard, the crisp air biting at your cheeks. You’d just rounded the corner when you spotted them — Sunghoon and a girl you vaguely recognized from your history class.

They were sitting on one of the low stone walls, and Sunghoon was laughing — really laughing, his head tipped back, eyes squinted against the sun. The girl was grinning too, leaning just a little too close, nudging his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You felt your stomach twist in a way that didn’t make sense. It wasn’t jealousy — it couldn’t be. You and Sunghoon were just friends. Friends who had survived the wreckage together. Friends who had learned to breathe again. Friends who...

Your heart gave an unsteady lurch.

Lia nudged you with her elbow, a knowing smirk on her face. “You good?” You forced a laugh. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She didn’t answer, just gave you that look — the one that said she wasn’t buying it. You hated how your chest felt tight, how your thoughts spiraled without your permission.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him — couldn’t stop noticing the way his smile softened when he looked at her. It shouldn’t have bothered you. It shouldn’t have made your chest ache like this.

But it did.

You knew it wasn’t fair. Sunghoon deserved to be happy — to find comfort without the shadow of everything you’d been through together. You’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t stand in the way of that. You weren’t supposed to feel like this.

But the feeling was there — heavy and unspoken and real.

Lia shot you a sidelong glance, eyebrows raised. “You’re staring.” You looked away quickly, the embarrassment rushing to your cheeks. “I’m not.” “Right. Sure. Just keep telling yourself that.”

You wanted to deny it — to push back against the idea that something was shifting inside you. But the truth was written all over your face. You didn’t need Lia to spell it out to know that.

The rest of the day dragged on with that uneasy feeling still tangled up in your chest. You couldn’t focus in class, and when Sunghoon walked past you later, offering a small smile, you barely managed to return it.

He seemed unfazed, like nothing was different. And maybe to him, it wasn’t. Maybe this was just your own problem — your own mess to sort through. You hated the way that thought made you feel sick.

When you finally made it back to your dorm, you dropped your bag and fell onto your bed, covering your face with your hands. It was stupid, the way you felt so thrown off by one small thing. But it wasn’t just that — it was the way it made you question everything. The way it made you wonder if you’d been lying to yourself this whole time.

If maybe, somewhere in the mess of healing and surviving, you’d started feeling something more.

And now you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 40 — ONE SMALL SPARK

wc — 560+

prev — masterlist — next

luna's diary : chapters are so small as we approach the end ugh

The days stretched out in peaceful, quiet monotony. There was no drama, no lingering shadows of conflict. Just life — moving forward at its own pace.

You had fallen into a routine, and for once, it didn’t feel suffocating. You went to class, studied in the library, and cooked with Sunghoon when he swung by after his evening practice. It wasn’t anything special — just two people in the same space, moving in sync without having to say much.

Tonight, he was leaning over your shoulder as you scrolled through a recipe on your phone. His arm was braced on the counter beside you, close enough that you could feel his warmth without actually touching.

“You’re gonna burn the garlic,” he pointed out, and you quickly nudged the pan off the heat. You made a face. “I’m not even burning it.” “You were about to,” he teased, shooting you a small smile. “Stir it before it sticks.”

You huffed but did as he said, biting back a grin. “You’re so picky.” “Just trying to make sure it’s edible,” he shot back, nudging your shoulder with his. You couldn’t help but laugh, and he smiled at the sound — soft, barely there, but enough to make something tighten in your chest.

There was a brief lull, just the quiet crackle of the stove and the occasional clink of a spoon against the pan. You glanced up, catching his reflection in the window above the sink, and found him already looking at you.

Your breath hitched.

Sunghoon didn’t look away — didn’t drop his gaze or pretend he hadn’t been staring. He just watched you, calm and steady, like he had no intention of hiding it.

You swallowed, feeling your heart thud a little harder than usual. You didn’t know what to do — what to say. But before you could think of something clever or brush it off with a joke, he moved.

It was nothing — just a shift of his hand to the stove knob, lowering the heat. But it snapped you out of whatever weird trance had settled over you.

You cleared your throat, trying to act like your pulse wasn’t racing. “Uh—thanks. For that.”

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “For saving your garlic? Anytime.”

You shoved his shoulder lightly, and he just laughed, leaning back against the counter with a casual ease you envied. You forced yourself to focus on the food, ignoring the way your hands were trembling just slightly.

It didn’t mean anything. It was just a moment — one that didn’t matter, one that wasn’t real.

But later, when you were alone in your room, your mind wouldn’t let it go. You couldn’t stop replaying the way he’d looked at you — like he wasn’t afraid to let you see what he was thinking.

You hated how your heart fluttered at the memory. How it made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you weren’t imagining things.

You pulled your knees to your chest, burying your face against them as your thoughts spiraled. You knew better than to read into it. Knew better than to let yourself fall again.

But despite every warning in your head, one thought wouldn’t leave you alone.

What if it was real?

And for the first time, you didn’t immediately push the thought away.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

why is all the boys I've loved before flopping

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 39 — THE QUIET CHAPTER

wc — 850+

prev — masterlist — next

luna's diary : even more healing for our girl >.< Is it obvious who she's gonna end up with? or...

It had been a long time since your apartment felt like home.

Not just a place to sleep, or a space to hide from the world — but an actual, comforting home. You hadn’t realized how much it weighed on you until you stepped through the door one evening and didn’t feel the familiar heaviness in your chest.

You dropped your bag on the floor and glanced around, taking in the faint glow of the late afternoon sun streaming through the windows. The room felt warm, lived-in, safe. For the first time in what felt like ages, you didn’t feel like you were holding your breath.

Maybe it was because things had finally started to settle. The chaos of the last few weeks had eased into something quieter, more bearable. There was no more waiting for the next fight or bracing yourself for another confrontation. You weren’t entirely okay yet — but you were getting there.

The sound of a knock at your door broke through your thoughts. You blinked, then moved to open it, half-expecting it to be one of your neighbors. Instead, Sunghoon stood there, holding a small grocery bag in one hand.

“Hey,” he greeted with a small smile. “I brought stuff to make dinner.” You raised an eyebrow. “You know how to cook?” He looked mildly offended. “Of course I do. I’m a man of many talents.”

A snort escaped before you could stop it, and he just rolled his eyes, stepping inside and nudging the door shut with his foot. You followed him to the kitchen, curiosity piqued as he set the bag on the counter and started pulling out ingredients.

“What are we making?” you asked, leaning against the counter. “Something simple,” he replied, holding up a pack of noodles and some vegetables. “You trust me?” “Should I?” His lips curved into a grin. “Guess you’ll find out.”

You stayed close as he moved around the small kitchen, surprisingly efficient despite his teasing. He handed you a cutting board and a knife, pointing at the vegetables. “Think you can manage these?” You gave him a flat look. “I’m not completely useless, you know.” He chuckled. “Never said you were.”

The rhythm of chopping and sizzling filled the kitchen, and for a moment, it was just comfortable silence. Occasionally, you’d glance up to find him watching you with that quiet, thoughtful expression he sometimes got, but he’d look away before you could call him out on it.

When everything was finally done, Sunghoon plated the food and set it on the table. You took a tentative bite and found yourself pleasantly surprised.

“This is actually good,” you said, slightly impressed. He gave you a mock-offended glare. “Actually? Wow. Your faith in me is astounding.”

You just grinned, and the two of you fell into easy conversation as you ate. The tension that usually sat like a weight on your shoulders felt a little lighter. It wasn’t perfect — but it was better.

After dinner, you found yourself sprawled on the couch, one of your notebooks open in your lap. Sunghoon joined you, bringing over his own notes and dropping into the seat next to you.

“What are you working on?” he asked. You sighed. “Trying to get ahead on some of this coursework. I’ve been falling behind.” He hummed thoughtfully. “Want some help?” You hesitated. “You don’t have to.” “I want to,” he replied simply.

And that was that. You didn’t protest when he slid your notebook closer, glancing over the pages and pointing out things you’d missed. He didn’t make you feel stupid or overwhelmed — just guided you through the parts that confused you, his voice soft and steady.

At some point, your thoughts drifted, and you just watched him — the way his brow furrowed slightly when he concentrated, how his lips curved upward whenever you understood something without him needing to explain further. You didn’t know how long you sat there, just existing next to him, but it was the most peaceful you’d felt in weeks.

Eventually, he noticed your attention and glanced at you, eyebrows raised. “What?” You shook your head, a tiny smile on your lips. “Nothing. Just… thanks.” He softened. “Anytime.”

The rest of the evening passed in that same, comfortable way. Studying, talking, occasionally teasing each other just for the sake of it. You hadn’t realized how much you needed this — the quiet, the reassurance that not everything was broken beyond repair.

Later, after Sunghoon had gone and you were left alone with your thoughts, you found yourself pulling out an old journal you hadn’t touched in months. Flipping to a blank page, you let the pen hover for a moment before writing down whatever came to mind. It wasn’t coherent or profound, just little thoughts and fragments of feelings that had built up over time.

And when you finally closed the journal and settled into bed, you felt lighter.

It wasn’t perfect. You weren’t completely healed. But for once, you didn’t feel like the world was crushing you under its weight.

And that was enough.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 38 — JAKE'S BREAKDOWN

wc — 690+

prev — masterlist — next

luna's diary : let's normalise healing, right?

Jake doesn’t call you for three days.

It’s almost worrying how quickly you notice. There’s a strange absence in your routine — no random texts asking if you’re eating, no calls interrupting your study sessions just because he’s bored, no sudden appearances at your doorstep when he knows you’re down.

You know you should be grateful for the quiet. You know you should appreciate the space.

But somehow, it makes your chest ache more than you’d like to admit.

On the fourth day, you’re leaving your last class when you see him leaning against the railings just outside the building. His head is bowed, hands shoved into his pockets, and something about the way he’s just… standing there makes your steps falter.

He glances up, and his face looks different. Tired. Worn out in a way you haven’t seen since everything went wrong.

You hesitate, but he takes a breath and straightens up, walking over.

“Can we talk?” he asks quietly, and you just nod, too drained to fight him on it.

He leads you to the campus gardens, where the noise of passing students fades into the background. You don’t sit — just stand a few paces away from each other, the space between you tense and unfamiliar.

“I’m not here to make excuses,” Jake starts, his voice almost brittle. “I just… I need you to know that I get it now.”

You glance at him, brows knitting. “Get what?”

He licks his lips, looking down at his hands. “How I hurt you. How I was so obsessed with having you that I didn’t think about what you wanted. Or what you needed. I kept pushing — kept trying to fix things my way because I thought… I thought it was better than losing you.”

His words are heavy, sinking into your chest like stones. You don’t know how to respond, so you just stay quiet, letting him continue.

“I never really thought about what you wanted. I just assumed that if I loved you hard enough, it would be enough. That I could make you love me back the same way. But that’s not love. That’s control.”

His eyes are glassy, and you can tell he’s been thinking about this for a long time. You swallow down the lump in your throat.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you say softly, but he shakes his head. “No. It was. I wanted to have you without actually understanding you. And I’m sorry. For everything. For making you feel like you didn’t have a choice. For making you feel guilty when it wasn’t your responsibility to fix me.”

His voice cracks on the last word, and you realize that for the first time, Jake looks completely, heartbreakingly vulnerable.

You don’t know what to say. Apologies would feel hollow, and reassurance feels wrong.

So you just say the truth. “I didn’t hate you. I just… couldn’t be what you needed. And it wasn’t fair to either of us to keep pretending I could.”

He wipes at his face roughly, like he’s angry at himself for showing weakness. “I know. And I’m done trying to make it your problem. You don’t deserve that.”

He looks at you then, and there’s a kind of resignation in his gaze that makes your chest twist painfully.

“You deserve to be happy,” he murmurs. “And if I’m not part of that… then that’s okay. I just needed to tell you I’m sorry before I can let go.”

It’s like he’s drawing a line, setting a boundary that he should have set long ago. You want to tell him that it’s okay, that he’ll be fine, that he’s stronger than he thinks. But he’s already taking a step back, giving you a small, crooked smile that’s more sad than anything.

“Take care, Y/N.”

And just like that, he’s gone — walking down the path without looking back. You feel the ache settle in your bones, but this time, it’s different.

It’s not regret. It’s not relief, either. It’s just… acceptance.

And as you stand there alone, the weight on your shoulders feels just a little lighter.

Could this be a step towards healing?

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 37 — JAY'S GOODBYE

wc — 780+

prev — masterlist — next

The message from Jay came at half past six.

It wasn’t anything dramatic, nothing that seemed like it would change anything. Just a simple, “Can we meet?” followed by a time and place. You almost didn’t respond. Your finger hovered over the screen for longer than you wanted to admit, but eventually, you typed out a quick, “Okay.”

It was almost laughable how normal the message looked. How plain and unassuming. As if he hadn’t been one of your best friends for years. As if everything hadn’t changed.

You didn’t know what you expected when you walked to the spot he mentioned, just a little corner near the old art building. The sky was painted with the fading hues of sunset, casting long shadows across the cracked pavement. You saw Jay there, hands shoved deep into his pockets, his back against the wall.

He didn’t look up immediately. You wondered if he was just as unsure about this meeting as you were.

When he finally raised his gaze, his eyes were softer than you’d seen in weeks. Almost nostalgic. “Hey.” You gave a small nod. “Hey.”

An awkward silence stretched between you. You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, fingers curling around the strap of your bag.

Jay cleared his throat. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Instead, you just looked at him, taking in the way his shoulders seemed more hunched than usual, like he was carrying something far heavier than his usual confidence.

“I thought about just... letting things go,” Jay admitted, finally looking at you properly. “Not saying anything. But that didn’t feel right.” Your stomach twisted. “Saying anything about what?”

He hesitated, kicking at a small pebble on the ground. “About everything. About how I treated you. About how I handled things. I keep thinking about it, and every time, I realize how unfair it was.”

Your throat felt tight. “Jay—”

“No, let me finish,” he cut in, voice surprisingly gentle. “I know I messed up. I hurt you. I made things harder than they needed to be, and I should’ve known better. You never deserved to be caught up in all of that, and I... I’m sorry.”

The sincerity in his tone knocked the breath out of you. You hadn’t expected this. An apology, maybe, but not this kind of raw honesty. Not from Jay.

“I kept thinking it would just get better on its own,” he continued, his gaze dropping to the ground. “That maybe if I just held on a little longer, everything would go back to the way it was. But that’s not how it works, is it?”

You shook your head slowly. “No. It’s not.”

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling shakily. “I can’t keep pretending like it didn’t happen. Like I didn’t make it worse. I wanted to blame Jake for everything because it was easier than admitting I played a part, too.”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat. “It wasn’t just you, Jay. We all made mistakes.”

He gave a small, bitter smile. “Maybe. But I’m done trying to fix something that’s already broken. Maybe stepping back is the only thing left to do.” You stared at him, unsure how to process that. “What do you mean?”

Jay didn’t answer immediately. He glanced at the sky, like he was searching for words. “I’m stepping back from... everything. The group. You. It’s not because I hate you or him or anyone. I just... I can’t keep doing this to myself. To you.”

The weight of his words hit you hard, and you could feel the sting behind your eyes. “You’re really leaving?”

He smiled again, softer this time. “I think I need to. I don’t know how else to move on. I’ll still be around, but I need space. I need to figure myself out without holding onto something that’s just hurting me.”

You nodded, though the ache in your chest felt unbearable. “I understand.”

He hesitated before reaching out, his hand brushing yours just lightly enough to make you pause. “I hope... I hope you find what makes you happy. I mean that.”

You could only whisper, “You too.”

Jay stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets again. He gave you one last look, something almost wistful, before nodding and walking away.

You stood there long after he left, letting the cool evening air wrap around you. You couldn’t quite place how you felt. Relieved? Sad? Maybe a bit of both.

But even with the heaviness lingering in your chest, you knew one thing for sure — this goodbye was something you both needed.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 36 — GUILT, GUILT, GUILT

wc — 2k+

prev — masterlist — next

luna's diary : how we liking the fic chat? who do we think y/n's gonna end up with?

You hadn’t slept.

Not that you’d really tried. It was more like lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, while your thoughts tore through your head at a hundred miles an hour. Everything felt like a loop — Jake’s kiss, Jay walking away, Sunghoon’s quiet presence. Over and over and over, until you wanted to scream.

You’d always known that love was messy. You just didn’t think it would be this ugly.

Regret gnawed at you from the inside out. Maybe you should have just picked Jake. Maybe if you’d just chosen him, things wouldn’t be so complicated. Maybe Jay wouldn’t have walked away like he didn’t even know you anymore.

A choked sound left your throat, and you pressed your hand over your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut. No. You couldn’t afford to break down now. You couldn’t fall apart, not when there was so much left unresolved. Not when you couldn’t even decide if you were allowed to be sad about it.

The room was too quiet. Too suffocating. You forced yourself up, tugging on a hoodie and shoving your phone into your pocket. The halls were empty as you wandered, the chill of the night air nipping at your cheeks. You hadn’t meant to end up at the quad, but your feet carried you there on instinct. It was quieter than usual, the distant hum of traffic barely reaching you.

You found a bench and sat down, elbows on your knees as you buried your face in your hands. It wasn’t fair. You weren’t supposed to feel like this. You weren’t supposed to hurt this much.

Your thoughts drifted back to Jake — back to the beginning. When things were simple. When you’d sneak out late at night just to meet him at the old diner three blocks from campus. You’d order milkshakes and fries and talk about everything that didn’t matter, laughing until your stomach hurt. He’d steal your fries when you weren’t looking and then grin when you caught him, like he’d gotten away with some grand heist.

You remembered how easy it had been to be with him, how he made you feel like the world was just a little bit lighter. How he’d pull you close and kiss your forehead like it was second nature. There were times you’d thought it was love, real, honest love — but then things got complicated. Life got complicated. You started noticing things you’d ignored before — like how Jake always had to be right, even when he wasn’t. Like how he’d get defensive when you disagreed. Like how he’d shut down completely instead of talking things out.

And then there was Jay. He wasn’t like Jake at all. He was thoughtful, considerate, always making sure you were okay even when he wasn’t. Jay didn’t kiss you impulsively or pull you into his orbit like Jake did. He lingered on the edges, waiting for you to come to him, always giving you space when you needed it. You couldn’t help but wonder if that was why you never really noticed him, why it took you so long to realize that his quiet loyalty meant more than any grand gesture Jake could give.

The guilt twisted in your stomach. You shouldn’t be comparing them like this. It wasn’t fair to either of them. But the memories wouldn’t stop coming, relentless and painful.

And then there was Sunghoon.

He hadn’t been a part of it, not really. But the way he looked at you sometimes, like he saw right through every defense you put up, made your heart stutter. It wasn’t even romantic, not that you thought about it that way. It was more like… comfort. Safety. Like when he walked you home in silence, his presence enough to make the fear and uncertainty fade just a little. You remembered the way his hand had brushed yours once, completely accidental, but enough to make you pause. You didn’t know why it stuck with you so much.

You blinked back tears, rubbing your eyes with your sleeve. You weren’t supposed to cry. Not now. Not when everything was already falling apart. You needed to hold it together.

But the pressure kept building, and before you knew it, a sob slipped past your lips. You pressed your hands harder against your face, trying to muffle the sound. It didn’t matter. Once it started, it didn’t stop.

You didn’t hear Sunghoon approach, but suddenly he was there, sliding onto the bench beside you without a word. He didn’t reach out or ask what was wrong. He just sat, hands resting on his knees, gaze fixed forward like he didn’t even notice you crying.

It was exactly what you needed.

The sobs came harder, your shoulders shaking as you curled in on yourself. Sunghoon didn’t move, didn’t speak, just stayed there, unmoving, like a silent anchor in the chaos. Eventually, your crying faded into sniffles, and you wiped your face with trembling hands. Sunghoon still didn’t look at you, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed.

When you finally caught your breath, you glanced at him, hesitating. “Sorry.”

He shook his head, almost imperceptibly. “Don’t be.”

You didn’t know what to say after that. Part of you wanted to apologize again, but you knew he’d just brush it off. Sunghoon wasn’t the type to let you feel guilty about something like this.

After a while, he spoke, voice low and careful. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”

The words hit you harder than they should have, and you swallowed thickly. You didn’t trust yourself to reply, so you just nodded.

The silence stretched on, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Sunghoon leaned back, stretching his legs out in front of him, his hands tucked into his pockets. You followed suit, mimicking his posture, and something about it made the knot in your chest loosen just a little.

When he eventually stood up, you half-expected him to leave. But instead, he nodded toward the path back to the dorms.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

You hesitated, but when he started walking, you found yourself following without a second thought. He didn’t say anything when you fell into step beside him. He didn’t try to make you talk. He just stayed there, quiet and steady until you made it back to your building.

Before you could open the door, he paused, glancing at you with something almost like concern. “Get some rest.”

You gave a weak smile. “Yeah. You too.”

He nodded once before turning to leave, and you watched him go, a strange sense of loss settling in your chest.

You didn’t know why it hurt so much to watch him walk away.

The thing about guilt was that it never stayed quiet for long.

It crept up in the spaces between moments, clawed its way into your thoughts when you were alone, and wrapped around your chest like a vice. You didn’t know when it had started to feel so suffocating — maybe it had always been this way, and you just hadn’t noticed. Maybe it had been lying in wait, biding its time, and now it was here to drown you.

When you woke up the next morning, it was still there. Heavy. Unrelenting.

Your phone buzzed on your nightstand, and you glanced at the screen without picking it up. A text from Lia, “Let’s hang out later?” but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond.

It wasn’t just the kiss that kept playing in your mind, or the way Jake had looked at you, desperate and raw. It was the way you had pulled back, how you hadn’t felt what you thought you should have felt. You thought about Jay’s face when he’d seen the two of you, his expression shuttering like he was physically bracing himself for the hurt.

You wished it didn’t feel like betrayal. You wished you didn’t feel like you were breaking apart from the inside out.

You tried to distract yourself — made breakfast, cleaned up the mess you’d left in the kitchen, even attempted to focus on the group project notes. But every time you thought you were okay, another memory slammed into you like a wave, dragging you back under.

When had it all gone so wrong?

Your mind drifted back to when things were simpler. Before confessions and letters and hurt feelings. Back when you, Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon were just... friends. When the four of you would hang out at Jay’s house after classes, sprawled out on the floor with snacks and drinks scattered around.

You remembered one night vividly — a warm summer evening when Jay had insisted on teaching you all how to make homemade pizzas. The kitchen had been chaos, flour everywhere, Sunghoon complaining about how Jay’s “chef skills” were questionable at best, and Jake laughing so hard he had to clutch the counter for support.

Jake had gotten sauce on your cheek at one point, and without thinking, he had wiped it away with his thumb, grinning at you like it was the most normal thing in the world. Jay had teased him mercilessly, and Sunghoon had smirked like he knew something the rest of you didn’t.

You swallowed hard. Back then, it had been so easy. So simple.

Now it was all fractured, and you didn’t know how to fix it.

A knock at your door startled you, and you froze, half-hoping whoever it was would just go away. But the knocking continued, soft but persistent.

You opened the door cautiously, only to find Sunghoon on the other side. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and he looked almost hesitant, like he wasn’t sure if he should be here.

“Hey,” he greeted quietly.

You tried to muster a smile. “Hey.”

“Can I come in?”

You stepped aside to let him in, watching as he took in the state of your apartment — not exactly messy, but not particularly welcoming either. You hadn’t put much effort into keeping it together lately.

Sunghoon leaned against the back of your couch, his gaze flickering to you every few seconds. “You didn’t answer Lia’s text,” he said, and it wasn’t an accusation — just an observation.

You dropped onto the couch, pulling your knees up to your chest. “I know.”

“She’s worried about you.”

You forced a laugh. “Yeah, well... everyone’s worried about everyone these days.”

He didn’t say anything to that, just studied you carefully. You hated how easily he could see through you, how he always seemed to know when you were holding back.

“You can talk to me,” he said gently. You hesitated. “I... don’t know what to say.” He moved closer, sitting down next to you but leaving enough space that it didn’t feel suffocating. “Try anyway.”

You closed your eyes, trying to gather your thoughts. “It just feels like... I’ve messed everything up. I keep thinking that maybe I should’ve just chosen Jake from the start. That way, none of this would’ve happened.”

Sunghoon didn’t respond immediately, letting you find your own words.

“But I didn’t,” you continued. “I didn’t choose him, and I thought I knew why. But now... I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I don’t even know why I feel like this.”

Your voice cracked, and you felt the hot prick of tears at the corners of your eyes. Sunghoon reached out, hesitated, then gently placed a hand on your shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he said softly.

You didn’t realize you were shaking until he pulled you closer, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. You hadn’t cried yet, not properly — and when the first sob finally tore its way out of you, it hurt.

Sunghoon didn’t say anything. He just stayed there, holding you while you cried, and for once, you didn’t feel the need to apologize for breaking down.

When you finally pulled away, your cheeks were damp, and your throat felt raw. Sunghoon offered you a tissue from the coffee table, and you accepted it with a weak, grateful smile.

“I’m such a mess,” you muttered. He shook his head. “You’re allowed to be.” You wiped your face, trying to collect yourself. “Why do you put up with me?”

Sunghoon’s lips quirked up, just a little. “Maybe I just like being around you.”

Your stomach fluttered, but you didn’t let yourself linger on that feeling. Instead, you leaned back against the couch, letting your shoulders relax.

Maybe things were broken. Maybe they couldn’t be fixed.

But right now, with Sunghoon beside you, it didn’t feel as unbearable.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

You are cuter.

Id you Really NEED a name, you can call me ...studybug cause I do Study a lot. Btw, I m someoen you know butt I am too shy 😭

don't be shy!! you'll be greeted w love pookie 🩷 but if you don't wanna reveal yourself that's ok! ntmy studybug anon 🫶🏼

[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 35 — TOO LATE

wc — 1.5k+

prev — masterlist — next

You stepped out of the building with Sunghoon beside you, the crisp evening air hitting your face as if trying to shake you out of the heaviness still weighing on your chest.

The meeting had ended, but the tension clung to you like a second skin. It didn’t feel over, not really.

Sunghoon shoved his hands into his pockets. "Want me to walk you home?"

You blinked at him. "You don’t have to." "I know." His tone was easy, almost careless, but you didn’t miss the way he slowed his steps, subtly matching your pace.

You hesitated. You should say no. You should insist that you were fine, that the night air would clear your head, that you didn’t need anyone to hover over you.

But when you glanced at him, at the quiet steadiness in his expression, the words never came.

“…Okay," you muttered.

Sunghoon just nodded, like he had known you’d agree.

The two of you walked in silence.

Not the uncomfortable kind, not the suffocating stillness that had filled the study room. This was different, calmer, lighter.

The streetlights above cast a dim glow on the pavement, shadows stretching out in long, uneven lines. The occasional sound of passing cars filled the quiet, but mostly, it was just the two of you.

Your hands were curled into your sleeves, your fingers fidgeting absently with the fabric. Sunghoon walked a little closer than necessary, like he was anchoring you without saying a word.

You didn’t know what to do with that.

"You handled it well," he said eventually. You scoffed. "Did I?" "Yeah," he said simply. "You didn’t let them get to you." You let out a slow breath. "I think I was too exhausted to react."

Sunghoon hummed, like he understood. "That counts as handling it." You fell quiet again.

A part of you wanted to ask why he was doing this, why he was always there, stepping in before things got worse, making it easier without ever asking for anything in return.

But you didn’t ask.

Because you weren’t sure you wanted to hear the answer.

When you reached the entrance of your building, you hesitated.

Sunghoon stopped beside you, waiting.

For some reason, you almost wanted to stall.

Not because you had anything left to say. Just because this — this quiet, this ease felt better than whatever was waiting for you inside.

But there was no reason to linger.

You turned to him. "Thanks for—" "Yeah," he interrupted lightly, like he already knew what you were going to say.

You swallowed, nodding once.

And then you went inside.

You stepped into the dimly lit lobby, the door clicking shut behind you. The quiet inside felt heavier than the silence outside, like the weight of everything you’d been pushing down was finally settling in.

Your footsteps echoed as you made your way to the elevator, pressing the button absentmindedly. The whole night replayed in your head—Jay’s cold indifference, Jake’s biting remarks, the way Sunghoon had defused the tension without ever making it obvious.

The elevator doors slid open, but before you could step inside, your phone buzzed in your pocket.

A message.

Sunghoon: Get some rest.

You stared at the screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

It was such a simple message. Nothing special. Nothing profound. But somehow, it made your throat tighten.

You typed out a response. Deleted it.

Typed again. Deleted again.

Instead, you locked your phone and stepped into the elevator.

When you reached your floor, the hallway was eerily quiet. The kind of quiet that made your own thoughts louder, pressing against the walls of your mind.

Inside your apartment, everything was exactly as you had left it — your textbooks scattered on the desk, an unfinished cup of tea cold by the window. But it felt different now, like the echoes of the night had followed you home.

You sat on the edge of your bed, exhaling slowly.

This was exhausting.

The constant tension. The weight of things unsaid. The way every conversation felt like walking on a tightrope, never knowing when the next snap would come.

You didn’t know how much longer you could do this.

Your eyes flickered to your phone again.

You should sleep. You should stop thinking.

But instead, you curled up on your side, staring at the faint glow of the screen until the exhaustion finally pulled you under.

And for the first time in a long time, the last thing on your mind wasn’t Jay or Jake.

It was Sunghoon.

The next morning, you woke up feeling like you hadn’t slept at all. Your body was sore from the way you’d curled up in your sleep, and your head was heavy with everything you hadn’t let yourself process.

It took longer than usual to get out of bed. Even longer to convince yourself to start the day.

When you finally stepped outside, the campus felt the same as it always did — bustling students, the smell of coffee in the air, the occasional sound of skateboard wheels on pavement. But to you, everything felt… off.

You knew why.

It wasn’t just last night weighing on you. It was everything that had built up before it. And you didn’t get the chance to push those thoughts away before you ran into Jake.

Literally.

You turned the corner, too distracted to notice Jake walking toward you, and the next thing you knew, his shoulder bumped into yours.

“Shit-” He took a step back, eyes widening slightly when he saw it was you.

For a second, neither of you spoke.

Then, his face settled into something unreadable. “Seriously?” he muttered. “You’re avoiding me so hard you’re not even looking where you’re going?” You clenched your jaw. “It was an accident.” Jake let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, sure. Just like everything else, right?”

You exhaled sharply. “I don’t have time for this.” But he wasn’t letting it go. “You never do, do you?”

You froze.

“Too busy pretending everything is fine,” he continued, voice sharp. “Too busy running away.” You turned to face him, frustration bubbling to the surface. “Are you seriously blaming me for not wanting to be around you?”

Jake scoffed. “I’m blaming you for acting like you’re the only one who’s hurt.” Your chest tightened. “That’s not—”

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” he cut you off, eyes flashing with something bitter. “You act like I don’t care. Like none of this means anything to me. But news flash, you don’t get to decide how I feel.”

The words hit harder than you expected.

Jake shook his head. “I made mistakes. I know that. But at least I don’t pretend like none of it matters.” His voice dropped, barely above a whisper. “You don’t even look at me anymore.”

You swallowed hard, the weight of everything pressing down on you at once.

Jake’s expression shifted, something raw flickering in his eyes. And before you could stop yourself, before you could think about what you were doing.

He stepped forward.

And you let him.

His hand brushed against yours for just a second before he grabbed your wrist, hesitating like he was giving you a chance to pull away.

But you didn’t.

Jake exhaled, his fingers tightening slightly. “Tell me to stop.”

Your heart pounded against your ribs. You should. You knew you should.

But you didn’t.

And that was all it took.

He leaned in, kissing you like he didn’t know if he’d ever get to do it again. Desperate, messy, too many emotions tangled up between the way his lips moved against yours.

You could feel it — every ounce of everything he’d been holding back. The guilt, the frustration, the longing.

It made your head spin.

For a second, you kissed him back.

For a second, you let yourself fall into it, let yourself forget how much things had changed, how much this would hurt later.

Then reality crashed back in.

You pulled away, your breath unsteady.

Jake’s eyes searched yours. “Y/N—” “It’s too late,” you whispered, barely able to get the words out.

His expression cracked, just slightly.

You stepped back. “I have to go.”

This time, when you turned to leave—Jake didn’t try to stop you.

Jay hadn’t meant to stop.

He hadn’t meant to look.

But when he stepped out of the building and caught sight of you and Jake—lips crashing together, the weight of something desperate and unresolved hanging in the air — he froze.

It was like the ground had been pulled out from under him.

For a moment, he just stood there, staring. Watching as Jake kissed you like he’d never let go. Watching as, for a split second — you kissed him back.

Something in Jay’s chest twisted.

He didn’t stay to see the way you pulled away. The way your face crumpled with realization. The way Jake’s hand hovered, like he wanted to reach for you but knew he couldn’t.

He didn’t need to.

Because in his mind, the damage was already done.

Jay turned on his heel, jaw clenched, and walked away.

And when your name popped up on his phone later that night, he didn’t answer.

And when he saw you the next day, standing hesitantly at a distance like you were waiting for him to acknowledge you, he didn’t.

And when you finally worked up the nerve to speak to him, voice uncertain, he barely spared you a glance before brushing past you like you weren’t even there.

Jay had done enough chasing.

He wasn’t going to do it anymore.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[leaderwon]

WAIT. LUNA ARE YOU AN INDIAN FR?! WHY DID I GET TO KNOW THIS RNNN 😭 I AM AN INDIAN TOO... WOWIEE 😃 I M THE STUPIDEST PERSON. ANYWAY, I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW YOU MORE LUNAA 🌸🩷️

SUHI DARLING WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS ♡⁠‿⁠♡ WE SHOULD GET TO KNOW EACHOTHER POOKIE. do you have insta? ^^

[leaderwon]

Hey... Luna right? I lovee your works hehe. New anon (MAYBE a secret admirer lmao) no take me as your younger sister heh ❤️

AWWW THATS SO CUTE HEHE >.< WHAT CAN I CALL YOU?