leatherandshowtunes - Tumblr blog

[leatherandshowtunes]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ ST. WILDE

KITTY: This big things that kids race each other all through. The inflatable obstacle courses at fairs. There's always that big inflatable one that makes you feel like your squeezing through like some weird rebirth.

KITTY: ANYWAY. The point is that it's exhausting to have to put up with this and I could use a distraction.

JESSE: You would be practicing twice as hard at a good choir. You'd just be carrying less dead weight.

JESSE: What kind of distraction are you in the market for?

[leatherandshowtunes]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ ST. WILDE

KITTY: I'm stuck in a mob of invalids. It's like trying to push my way through one of those giant, inflatable faux-vag contraptions.

KITTY: Is this how you felt while you were part of New Directions?

JESSE: I'm not entirely sure what an inflatable faux-vag contraption is, but let's say yes. It is.

[leatherandshowtunes]

You know what you do? You stop crying because it’s dreadful for your complexion. You take a Xanax. And then you wait for this guy’s inevitable solo career if you love him that much. Simple.

DEAR ZAYN:

WHEN I SAID I WAS MAD AT YOU, I DIDN’T MEAN I WAS THIS MAD AT YOU.  NOBODY GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!!!!!!!  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW DID YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT ME BEFORE YOU MADE THIS DECISION DID YOU EVEN CONSIDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME NO YOU DIDN’T BECAUSE YOU’RE BEING SELFISH AND I THINK I’VE BEEN CRYING FOR STRAIGHT UP THE PAST HOUR GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I’M TOO PRETTY TO HAVE TO BECOME A FAN OF THE WANTED THIS LATE IN THE GAME.

I need to be alone now.  FIRST A REALLY FREAKING STUPID A REVEAL AND NOW THIS?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[leatherandshowtunes]

1. Professional movers were invented for a reason. 2. If you’d like the name of an apartment broker that won’t suck out too much of your soul, let me know. I can give your information to her. 3. ...Professional movers were invented for a reason.

I’m done packing.

For like, the rest of my life at this point. From Lima to New York to Westerville to Lima to New York, if I see another roll of packing tape and a stack of boxes just ready to fold, the likelihood of a mental breakdown is a solid 98%. Despite how a new phobia (or nightmare, or both) has been unlocked… My legacy lives on. Sams taking over my apartment and the bro cave lives on. and I’m heading back to New York this Wednesday with the love of my life for some hardcore apartment hunting. I know more likely than not it’s going to be comparable to finding a needle in the haystack, but we’re up to the challenge. In all the chaos I’m going to have to put some time aside to go see Francis, hopefully she’s doing well and can forgive me for dropping off the face of the planet while she tends to New York’s pigeon population entirely by herself… Maybe I can butter her up with some canary seed and split peas. Here’s to hoping, guys. 

[leatherandshowtunes]

If a cast mate has a more comfortable room than I do, something is extremely wrong in this company.

But I was almost getting excited at the prospect of potentially walking in on a low budget porn filming in one of the other rooms.

I meant with some of your cast mates rooms, Jesse. Not a strangers. 

[leatherandshowtunes]

Have I checked? Should I walk down the hall and knock door-to-door? ‘Hi hello, could I lay on your mattress for just a moment?’ 

I think we should just….move on. 

I’m sure there’s a massage therapist in Philly somewhere you could visit, or demand a new room. Is it just your bed? Maybe the other rooms are more comfortable, have you checked?

[leatherandshowtunes]

I doubt it, but it does have a certain domestic nostalgia to it. All it’s missing is an undocumented grandmother of sixteen named Maya for it to really feel like childhood when I look at it.

Do you think hotels rent mattress toppers? The bed really isn’t as comfortable as the one in Cleveland, and I can’t Johnny Castle myself for two weeks on a knotted back.

That depends - do you plan on using the kitchen? 

[leatherandshowtunes]

[leatherandshowtunes]

afunnyberry replied to your photo:↳ instagram: @stfames uploaded a...

It doesn’t look as good as your hotel in Cleveland.

It is missing a couple of things that were nice about that room... but it does have a kitchen. Evens out?

[leatherandshowtunes]

↳ instagram: @stfames uploaded a photo

Accommodations in #philly. #hotelliving #dirtydancingontour

[leatherandshowtunes]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ ST. WILDE

KITTY: It depends on if you make me purr.

KITTY: Besides. I have church tomorrow..or today, rather.

JESSE: Mhm

JESSE: Thought so.

[leatherandshowtunes]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ ST. WILDE

KITTY: I just choked on air.

KITTY: Your ego is seriously misled about me.

JESSE: You said it not me.

JESSE: Unless, of course, you're all meows and no claws.

[leatherandshowtunes]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ ST. WILDE

KITTY: I'm very capable of driving, St. James. Even if it's just to go all crazy-claws.

KITTY: I knew it.

JESSE: Now that I would love to see.

JESSE: And to think we only just met and you're already itching to drive after me in the middle of the night.

[leatherandshowtunes]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ ST. WILDE

KITTY: No.

KITTY: But it might turn into Jerry Springer night if you keep insinuating that my assets aren't up to snuff.

JESSE: That would be a little pointless from all the way in Lima, wouldn't it?

JESSE: There's nothing wrong with your assets.

[leatherandshowtunes]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ ST. WILDE

KITTY: Mine isn't made out of my cheek fat.

JESSE: It shows.

JESSE: I'd compliment you, but I never know how that's going to be received. Is it a Chris Hansen night tonight?

[leatherandshowtunes]

If there are fates worse than county lock-up, Lima’s one of them.

A free love commune with gang violence would at least have personality. McKinley’s just so... drab and void of redeemable value. 

Letter to the New Directions

Briefly, after being arrested. I’m mostly going off the stories I hear about the New Directions and what I know to be true about the pubic school system in America. I’m picturing some sort of Free Love commune with added gang violence.

[leatherandshowtunes]

Honestly, why do you all even attempt to be friends?

This is exactly why Vocal Adrenaline worked so well. None of us were friends, and we never tried to pretend otherwise.

what's your biggest pet peeve?

When people completely ignore and disregard everything you say to make you look like the bad guy just because they’re tired of being the most hated person in the room.