legally-fallout-trash

[legally-fallout-trash]

Fallout 3 Incorrect Quotes #3

i swear this isn't the only thing i'll post. they're just funny. also most of this is just Butch x Charon (bc ig that's my main ship???)

tbh i ship Butch x Charon x Lone Wanderer but shut up

~~~

Charon: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Butch: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Charon: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING LONE WITH ME Fawkes, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: so...who's the big spoon and whos the little spoon?

Charon: We're chopsticks.

Lone Wanderer: Well...that's cute! Does that mean you snuggle together perfectly?

Butch: No, it means that if you take one away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

~~~

Lone Wanderer, after losing their dad: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

~~~

Murphy: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why. Barrett: Only if you also don't ask why Barrett: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick. Murphy: Barrett: Murphy: This one is fine

~~~

Butch, pointing: May I sit there? Charon: That's my lap Butch: That doesn't answer my question, Charon.

~~~

*After Project Purity*

Lone Wanderer: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Fawkes: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Lone Wanderer: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

~~~

Charon: How petty can you get? Butch: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: What’s up guys? I’m back. Jericho: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Lone Wanderer: Death is a social construct.

~~~

Butch: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Jericho: You're like 15 years old Butch: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

~~~

Butch: Am I in trouble?

Fawkes: Take a guess. Butch: No?

Fawkes: Take another guess.

~~~

Charon: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Fawkes: What did you do? Charon: Nobody died. Fawkes: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

~~~

Murphy: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Barrett: Just rip the bandage off. Murphy: It’s Lone Wanderer. Barrett: Put the bandage back on.

~~~

Butch: Clover, can I talk to you for a second? Clover: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Charon are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Butch: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

~~~

Butch: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold? Charon: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Lone Wanderer: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Charon: Good thinking.

~~~

*Butch and Charon sitting in jail together* Charon: So who should we call? Butch: I’d call Fawkes, but I feel safer in jail.

~~~

Murphy: Barrett, keep an eye on Lone Wanderer today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Barrett: Sure, I’d love to see Lone get punched. Murphy: Try again. Barrett, sighing: I will stop Lone from getting punched.

~~~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fawkes please come to the front desk? Fawkes, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: *Butch, Charon, and Lone Wanderer* Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Butch, Charon, and Lone Wanderer, simultaneously: We got lost :( Fawkes: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~~~

Charon: I told Butch their ears flush when they lie. Lone Wanderer: Why? Charon: Look. Charon: Hey Butch! Do you love us? Butch, covering their ears: No. Lone Wanderer:

~~~

Young!MacCready: Hey, Charon? Can I get some dating advice? Charon: Just because I’m with Butch doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Fawkes: >:O language Jericho: Yeah watch your fucking language Butch: OKAY WHO TAUGHT LONE WANDERER THE FUCK WORD? Charon: 'The fuck word'. Clover: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Jericho: Oh my god they censored it Charon: Say fuck, Clover. Jericho: Do it, Clover. Say fuck.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: Croissants: dropped Charon: Road: works ahead Butch: BBQ sauce: on my titties Fawkes: Shavacado: fre Clover: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Jericho: Jericho, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

~~~

Butch: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Charon: ...What???

~~~

Charon: *Answers phone.* Hello? Butch: It's Butch. Charon: What did they do this time? Butch: No, it's me, Charon. It's actually me. Charon: What did you do this time?

~~~

Butch: Wow, Charon, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Charon: We literally slept together yesterday. Butch: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

~~~

Butch: Change is inedible. Charon: Don’t you mean inevitable? Butch, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.

~~~

Charon: I feel like doing something stupid. Butch: I’m stupid, do me.

~~~

Butch: What are you in the mood for? Charon: World domination. Butch: That's a bit ambitious. Charon: You are my world. Butch: Aww... Charon: Butch: Charon: Butch: OH.

~~~

Charon: Know why I called you in here? Butch: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Charon: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

~~~

Charon: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this... Butch: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? Charon: Holy moly- ~~~

Butch: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Charon: Are you a software update? because not right now.

~~~

Butch, sweating: Charon, there’s something I need to ask you- Charon: Finally! You’re proposing! Butch: How’d you know? Charon: Butch, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner. Charon: I even picked it up once ~~~

Charon: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized. Butch: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Charon: That one. I want that one.

[legally-fallout-trash]

Incorrect Fallout 3 Quotes #2

Charon, trying to get a couch out of the upstairs Craterside Supply: Pivot!...Pivot!....Pivot!....PIVOT!...PIVOT!! PIVOT!!!!

Butch: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Charon: Okay, I don't think it's gonna pivot anymore.

Butch & Lone Wanderer: YOU THINK?!

Charon: Fine...let's bring it back down and try again.

All Three: *Struggling*

Charon: I can't believe that didn't work!

Lone Wanderer: I know! You even had a sketch!

Butch: Oh, hey, Charon? What did you mean by pivot?

~~~

Charon: Man I'm feeling down.

Butch: Would it help if I got the suit?

Charon:...yes.

Butch comes in wearing a banana suit and holding maracas:

~~~

Fawkes: Are we really going to let Lone keep Jericho? Charon: We kept Butch. ~~~

Fawkes: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Jericho: Several traffic violations.

Butch: Three counts of resisting arrest. Charon: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Lone Wanderer: Also, that’s not our car.

~~~

Fawkes: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life Charon: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! Lone Wanderer: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this! Butch: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! Jericho: My moral code, is that you? Fawkes: Fawkes: I was just gonna show you this trunk Uncle Leo left me but do you guys need a hug?

~~~

Fawkes: What’s something you guys are better than Butch at? Lone Wanderer: Mario Kart. Jericho: Yeah, video games. Charon: Emotional vulnerability.

~~~

Fawkes: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one! Lone Wanderer: Tubular AF! Butch: Mood to the max! Charon, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it. Jericho, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

~~~

Bumble: What does 'take out' mean? Lone Wanderer: Food. Butch: Dating Charon: Murder Jericho: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD!

~~~

Lone Wanderer: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Butch will and will not eat. Charon: Grass? Yes! Lone Wanderer: Moss? Yes!! Charon: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Lone Wanderer: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Charon: Worms? Sometimes! Lone Wanderer: Rocks? Usually nah. Charon: Twigs? Usually! Lone Wanderer: Jericho's cooking? Inconclusive! Fawkes: How did you… test this? Lone Wanderer: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Fawkes: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Jericho: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

~~~

Fawkes: Where's Lone, Charon, and Butch? Jericho: They're playing hide and seek. Fawkes: Where? Jericho: I don't think you get how this game works.

~~~

Jericho: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Fawkes: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Jericho: Three of us saw it, Fawkes. How do you explain that? Fawkes: *Points at Charon* Sleep deprivation. *Points at Butch* Paranoia. *Points at Lone Wanderer* Delusional personality disorder.

~~~

Jericho: Truth or dare? Butch: Dare Jericho: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room Butch: Hey Lone? Lone Wander, blushing: Yeah? Butch: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Charon.

~~~

Fawkes: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Fawkes and Lone Wanderer, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Butch: Our turn, Charon! One, two, three- vanilla! Charon, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

~~~

Jericho: I just ended a four-year relationship. Fawkes: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Jericho: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship. *Butch & Charon fighting from across the room*

~~~

Charon, Lone Wanderer, and Butch are sitting on a bench Fawkes: Why do you guys look so sad? Charon: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Fawkes sits down* Lone Wanderer: The bench is freshly painted.

~~~

Fawkes: Can I be frank with you guys? Butch: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Charon: Can I still be Charon? Jericho, drunk: Shh, let Frank speak.

~~~

Cross: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Charon: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Fawkes: I personally was created in a lab. Lone Wanderer: I just straight up spawned lol.

~~~

Butch: Yo is Jericho sleeping or dead? Charon: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Fawkes: Yeah, so did I. Jericho: Okay first of all, fuck you-

~~~

Fawkes: How did none of you hear what I just said? Lone Wanderer: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Butch: I got distracted about halfway through. Jericho: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

~~~

Butch: *Screams* MacCready: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Fawkes: Should we do something? Lone Wanderer: No, I want to see who wins.

~~~

Fawkes: Wake me up… Lone Wanderer: Before you go go! Butch: When September ends… Charon: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

~~~

Fawkes: Dammit, Butch! Butch: What?! It wasn’t me! Fawkes: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Lone! Lone Wander: Not me either. Fawkes: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Dogmeat: *Barks*

~~~

*Jericho is helping Lone Wanderer out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Butch: How does Lone look?

Charon: A little better than you, actually.

[legally-fallout-trash]

Incorrect Fallout 3 Quotes:

~~~ Lone Wanderer: What is your biggest weakness?

Butch: I can be uncooperative.

Lone Wanderer: Okay, can you give me an example?

Butch: No.

~~~

Lone Wanderer, listening to Three Dog: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Butch: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

~~~

Murphy: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Barrett: You mean literally or figuratively? Murphy: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

~~~

Butch: I can explain.

Fawkes: Can you?

Butch: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie. ~~~

Butch: I was thinking I'd do some magic-

Young MacCready: You? Magic? Butch, it says talent show.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Charon: What did you do?

Lone Wanderer: A MISTAKE ~~~

Charon (or Fawkes): *Walking into a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Jericho: *Out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS!

~~~

Jericho: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Lone's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

~~~ Charon: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just in case.

Fawkes: Charon, that's a coma.

Charon: Sounds festive.

~~~

Butch: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Fawkes: Mind your language!

Butch: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Fawkes:

Butch: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

~~~ Lone Wanderer: People say I have a unique way of lighting up the room!

Fawkes: That's arson and those people are witnesses.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: *Ordering a cake over radio* Employee: Alright! What would you like your cake to say?

Lone Wanderer: *Covers the phone and looks at Butch & Charon* Do we want a talking cake?

~~~

Charon, holding a box: What would you say if I came home one day with a box of six puppies?

Fawkes: What's in the box?

Charon:.....

Fawkes: What's in the box, Charon?

Charon: I think you know.

~~~

Fawkes: You shouldn't be using a straw.

Butch: I know it's bad for the environment or whatever.

Fawkes: No, it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: I love sleepovers!

Fawkes: This isn't a sleepover, your in a medical tent!

Lone Wanderer: Then why do I have this nightgown? Fawkes: That's a hospital gown.

Lone Wanderer: Truth or Dare?

Fawkes:

Lone Wanderer:

Fawkes: Dare...

~~~

Butch: It's a little muggy out today.

Charon: Butch, if I go outside and all our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leaving.

Butch: *Sips Nuka-Quantum from a bowl*

~~~

Jericho: Do you have any shaving cream?

Butch: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Jericho: ???

Jericho: You eat shaving cream???

Butch: No? Why would I eat it if I don't like the way that it tastes???

~~~

Autumn: It's a white flag, Lone, and you may as well start waving it

Lone Wanderer: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER

Butch:

Fawkes: Charon:

Dogmeat:

Jericho:

Fawkes: Good God.

~~~

Lone Wanderer, tying up their riding brahmin: Can you get us a table?

Butch: Sure!

*Seconds Later, Running Out of Rivet City*

Butch: UNTIE...THE BRAHMIN!

~~~

Fawkes: Do you take constructive criticism?

Charon, already crying: Yeah, what's up?

~~~

Butch, to Little Lamplight: Did you know a group of fish is called a School

Lone Wanderer: And a group of lions is called a Pride!

Fawkes: A group of crows is called a Murder!

Jericho: And a group of people is called a Migraine.

~~~

*Butch and Charon are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Butch: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Charon, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

~~~ Murphy: . .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Barrett: What's that?

Murphy: Remorse code.

Barrett: I'm even angrier now.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Charon: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: Okay, truth or dare?

Charon: Truth

Lone Wanderer: How many hours have you slept this week?

Charon:

Charon: ...Dare

Lone Wanderer: Go to bed.

Charon: I don’t like this game.

~~~ Jericho: *Accidentally hits Butch in the face*

Jericho: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Jericho: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Butch: What’s wrong with you?!

~~~

Butch: You're right.

Lone Wanderer: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~~~

Fawkes: Where are you going?

Butch: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there.

~~~

Lone Wanderer, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Fawkes: You did WHAT–

Butch: William Snakepeare

~~~

Lone Wanderer: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Fawkes: Wasn't Charon with you?

Charon: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

~~~

Butch: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Charon: Alright.

Butch: TraitorSayWhat?

Lone's Dad: Excuse me?

Butch: What?

Charon:

Butch:

Butch: No wait-

~~~

Charon: What time is it?

Butch: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Butch: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Jericho: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Butch: It’s 2 am

~~~

Lone Wanderer: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Butch: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Charon: In that case, we're definitely lost.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Fawkes: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Charon: Smad. ~~~ Fawkes: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Butch: I'm a knife.

Charon, from across the room: He's the little spoon.

~~~ Lone Wanderer: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Jericho: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Charon: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Butch: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Fawkes: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

~~~

Lone Wanderer: Nothing in life is free.

Charon: Love is free!

Butch: Adventure is free.

Fawkes: Knowledge is free.

Jericho: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

~~~

Lone Wanderer: Bye Jericho! Bye Charon! Bye Fawkes! Bye Dogmeat! Bye Jericho!

Butch: You said ‘bye Jericho’ twice.

Lone Wanderer: I like Jericho. ~~~

Charon: Good morning.

Fawkes: Good morning.

Jericho: Good morning.

Butch: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Lone Wanderer: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

~~~

Fawkes: Favorite horror movie?

Jericho: It

Butch: Saw

Lone Wanderer: Annabelle

Charon: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

~~~

Fawkes: Anyone d-

Lone Wanderer: Depressed?

Charon: Drained?

Butch: Dumb?

Jericho: Disliked?

Fawkes: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people.