lenanotluthorfabray

[lenanotluthorfabray]

Love this song the most so far

[lenanotluthorfabray]

a melody like a memory || self-para

Who: Lena Fabray ft. flashback Mike When: 8.3.17 - sometime after 10 pm Where: Down by the river. What: Lena goes for a walk to clear her head and ends up jamming out to songs that remind her of Mike. Warnings: mentions of anxiety/panic attacks nothing specific

Everything was too much and Lena just felt like getting away. So, she’d grabbed her iPod, her messenger bag that she took everywhere, stuffed her phone in her pocket, and left. As much as she loved Issy and normally would have told her what was up, she didn’t know how. Everything was a mess and she figured a walk would clear her head. 

As she made her way down to the river, she slipped the headphones Mike had bought her for her birthday over her ears and hit ‘play’ on her iPod. Lena wasn’t normally one for country music, but after her trip to New York with Mike, where they’d ended up listening to a shit ton on the radio, she’d actually downloaded a good deal of it. A lot of it was catchy and relatable, and even what wasn’t relatable, it was a nice listen. A change of pace from her usual punk rock and alternative. She had a mix of everything, from older country to whatever was currently topping the charts. 

For a while she just walked along as she listened, humming along as she went. Then a song came on and she couldn’t help but stop in her tracks, a smile crossing her face. It was one of the songs that she and Mike had jokingly done a duet to after it’d come over the radio a few times.

It was probably around midnight when it’d came on again, they were edging into sleep deprivation territory. They’d been talking about relationships, and the wreck they’d both recently found themselves in. She admitted to not knowing how she felt about Puck and how it was mostly just frustrating her. He’d talked about how he and Maxine had sort of fallen into a similar thing, not really being together, but being on the edge. It all just being frustrating. So when the song came on, they gave each other a knowing look through the darkness and started in on it.

“What you doin' in this place?” Mike started.

“Well, I could probably ask you the same thing” Lena answered.

“Another round, girl, what you think?”

“If you're buying, well, you know I'll drink, so make it 7 on 7″

“Do you want it on the rocks?”

“A double shot of heaven”

“Spilling off the top”

“And we'll go...”

They laughed as they headed into the chorus, because it was ridiculous that they were even singing it, but then again, they were tired and had been on the road for a few hours now. Yet they kept going, because Lena loved the feel of it all and Mike didn’t seem to mind.

As the memory played through her head like the song playing through her headphones, she couldn’t help but sing and dance along. She wasn’t a graceful dancer, in any sense, almost classifiable as having two left feet, but she didn’t exactly care.

The next song that came on was the one that had caught her attention on the radio in the first place. It was Sam Hunt’s “Leave the Night On” and it never failed to make her think of Mike, even more now that they’d literally ran away to the city that never sleeps to have a good time, just the two of them. 

Laughter echoed in the still night air as Lena looked up at the night sky. The stars were beautiful and much easier to see here. They’d been hard to see in New York, but they weren’t as clear as they had been on that drive with Mike. Everything seemed to be going back to Mike and all Lena could wonder was if getting closer to him would be a good thing or not. She wanted to think it was, he made her happy and she had willingly grabbed his hand in a crowd to keep her anxiety at bay.

They were headed towards the place they’d decided on for dinner, unfortunately it was in the heart of the theatre district. The busiest part of New York City. Between the noise, which she was trying to block out with her headphones, and the crowds of people that seemed to get far too close to her when she didn’t need it, she was starting to panic. Her usual techniques for dealing with such couldn’t be done while walking and next thing she knew she’d grabbed Mike’s hand and pulled him closer to her.

“Sorry.” She muttered as he looked at her, dropping his hand.

“You okay, Le?” His voice had her shaking her head and when she saw his outstretched hand, she took it, thankful he’d offered it out to her. He slowed his pace to hers and they continued on their way.

As they arrived at the place, John’s of Time Square, Mike got a number as Lena found a secluded area away from everyone else but with a view of the thing that showed the number being seated. When Mike approached her she sighed.

“I didn’t expect the crowds to be so much. I’ve been skittish since the start of summer, which wasn’t helped by Nat or Puck. I guess being surrounded by so many people in an unfamiliar setting was just getting to me.” Lena explained, slipping Mike’s hand into her own again, leaning against him.

“No need to apologize, Le.” Mike reassured the blonde as they fell into a comfortable silence, Lena’s headphones still blocking out most noise. 

Mike squeezed her hand when their number came up and gently led her to where the waiter was. Lena was in a slight daze, slipping her headphones from her head to around her neck, but allowed herself to be led by Mike anyway.

As they took a seat, Lena caught what sounded like an older woman calling her and Mike a cute couple. She shook her head, brushing off the idea. Focusing instead on what she wanted drink.

Lena stopped in her tracks once again, the old woman’s voice echoing in her head. Moving her headphones to around her neck, she sighed. “Get it together, Fabray. You’ll just hurt him. He deserves so much better than you. He deserves someone not as fucked up.” She sighed. “But so do I...” It was barely above a whisper as she looked back up at the stars, stuffing her hands into her hoodie. “I’m crazy, but then, he doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe I’ll just see where it goes. Yeah good idea.” She nodded to herself as she put her headphones back over her ears and started the walk back to Issy’s, a content smile on her face.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: Okay good, that's all I ask.

[a few hours later]

LENA: Made it back to Issy's. I'm still in one piece. Definitely feeling better.

LENA: Why do people judge country music so much?

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: Oh but that's awesome! Okay, because it's late and I don't want anything happening to you.

LENA: I watched it on loop the day I moved in at Issy's, so... I know, I'll be careful.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: What's your favorite movie? And please be careful, okay?

LENA: Well, technically, it's a recording of a live show these days, but Newsies. I will be.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: Do you have a favorite book or movie? Better yet, put on your favorite episode of doctor who.

LENA: I'm sure my favorite book is one of my bags, Issy might kill me if I put on my favorite movie, and pretty sure my fave episode would just make me cry... Think I might just take a walk or something.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: A break can't hurt. That's all I'm sayin'

LENA: Not really sure how to take said break, but I'll see what happens.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: I read somewhere that over-stimulation can happen and cause that feeling and sometimes you just need time away from everything and everyone.

LENA: Yeah, maybe.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: Then take a step away from it for the time being.

LENA: I'm tired in the "everything is too much" sense and not in the "I could sleep right now" sense and that is my problem.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: I mean not technically. It's 9 and a lot of people sleep this early when they have work or school.

LENA: I have nothing tomorrow... I just don't really want to deal with reality.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: Always Lena, always.

LENA: is now too early to sleep? even if I'm not necessarily tired?

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: Understandable but the offer stands.

LENA: thanks

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: Well if you're ever feeling over-stressed we'll have to have a do-nothing day.

LENA: Not really sure that'd help, but I'll let you know.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: If you ever feel stressed, we are all here to help lovely, with whatever you need.

LENA: I am always stressed, dear. It's more a matter of how much I can deal with before the nightmares rob me of sleep.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: It would be good to get a good night's sleep in a comfortable place for school, yes.

LENA: Just kind of scared the stress of classes will make the nightmares worse and sleeping on the floor will be my only option anyway.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

TEXT | THE DOCTOR

HAYLEY: No offense taken. You're not wrong at all.

LENA: Yeah, I mean, it may not happen, but after classes start I might do it, just to be safe.