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[lesbioniclepod]

Shoutout to @lesbioniclepod for reminding me about Whenua's kraata collection

It's really hard to imagine the other Turaga both knowing about and being okay with Whenua maintaining a collection of live Kraata that size. And yet, apparently the others contributed to the collection by catching Kraata in secret over the years and then presumably giving them to Whenua to be put in storage.

And I'd find it hard to buy that the Turaga would think that literally all the Kraata had to be stored in stasis and that killing them was not an acceptable option. Especially since none of them expressed objections to killing Visorak back in the day.

So, my guess is that the other Turaga let Whenua keep a collection of them in stasis so that they could be studied and better understood....

...but his siblings may not have been aware of the exact size of Whenua's collection.

I can imagine him telling the others that they ought to have at least one of each kind of kraata preserved in stasis. This seems fairly reasonable to the others. By kinds, he means kinds of power, right? How many types are there? Eight? Ten? Not more than a dozen, surely.

When he insists that nobody kill any kraata until he's had a chance to look at them and make sure he hasn't already got one of them, they begrudgingly accept that. Alright, they think. But this one's insect control, didn't you already have one of those that Matau caught for you a few years back? At which point Whenua admits that when he says "One of each kind", he's referring not just to breed, but also developmental stage. Alright, they think, he's the expert.

None of the others particularly want a lecture on all the gory details of how Kraata develop, which is of course what they'll get if they try to argue with Whenua. An evil slug wouldn't have that many stages in its life cycle anyway, would it? Two or three maximum, surely.

So the others are thinking Whenua has maybe two or three dozen Kraata stashed away somewhere safe. It wouldn't be good if they were released, but they could handle it if they had to.

Whenua, meanwhile is starting to think he should start a backup collection in case something happens to these specimens. He hasn't lied to his siblings... he said at the beginning that they should have at least one of each kind, and they agreed! So a few backups would be allowed. Maybe three or four of each should be sufficient. Or... five? Hmmm.... he doesn't really trust the number five. Six. Everyone likes the number six!

Anyway.

That's how we ended up here...

[lesbioniclepod]

Episode 9: Processed Bionicle Podcast Product

iTunes

Podcasting Tea

Podcast Sacrifices

Lime Plastic Disease

Do Matoran Make Straw?

Toa Kiryuu

I’m Taking the Bohrok Away Until You Guys Calm Down

Not a Hoax, Not a Dream, Not an Imaginary Tale!

Autistic Queen Gahlok-Kal

Onua’s Homophobic Moment

Emma Shares Lewa’s Kink

Bohrok School (We realized after recording that it's chronologically possible that tunnel-based artist Jordenn Yo from Christopher Priest's The Islanders is named after the Krana Yo. This is mostly Nausicaä doing a propaganda post for The Islanders.

The Fascinations

Three-Minute Utena Digression

Metru Nui Samizdat

Sterling Silver Krana-Kal

Your Inner Child Would Die in a Dahlian Morality Tale

Backpack For His Kanohi

Bionicle Lore Angel of Conception

The Bohrok-Kal Make Shitty Puns

Processed Bionicle Podcast Product (American Cheese tutorial)

Wu Wei

Bionicle-Ass Art

The Bionicle Definition of Life

Mata Nui’s Malicious Nephews

The Unstoppable Bohrok Kaita Kal

“What the Fuck, Tahu, That’s the Vahi!”

The ULTIMATE Bionicle Bash

Takanuva Christology

Our Apologies to the People of Denmark

Makuta’s Wonderful Large Sons

Guuhrak’s Job at Apple

Six-Guy Clusters

Weak Point Powers

Homoerotic Makuta Narration

The Vore Rahkshi

Velveteen’s Posting Crimes

Makuta’s Commitment to Being a Sicko as Evidenced by the Rahkshi Life Cycle

Whenua’s Fucked-Up Rahkshi Wall

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Wet

Emma Has a Genuine Faith Moment Thanks to Kopaka

The Parents of the Bionicle Sweepstakes Winners

The Infinite Likability of the Christ Figure

[lesbioniclepod]

Episode 8: the Onclerfication of Makuta by the Coward Lesbionicle

Episode recorded in May 2023, last of the backlog episodes

iTunes/Spotify

Bionicle Spaghetti

WesternQuick-Draw Duels in Movies

Dock and Ball Torture:

Naus Explains Docking Fetish

Socket Ball Torture

Gay Makuta

Cyberpunk Cowboy Setting

Anti-Nuvapronouns

A Serious Discussion of Misogyny in Fandom and Media

Do Bionicles Make Bullets?

A Libertarian Walks Into a Kane-Ra

Johnny Bravo Meets a Futakuchi-Onna

Tom of Po-Metru

Shrouded in Mysteries

Another Fucking Fetch Quest

A Surprise Appearance From the Kanohi Vahi

The Bohrok-Kal Are Assholes

Stuck To Mata-Nui

Can Bionicles Go Into Shock?

The Sonic Shield of the Kohrak-Kal

The Friendship Fusion

Meditations on the Draft

The Bohrok-Kal Concept of Fun

Lathing A Way More Interesting Mata Nui/Makuta Yaoi

Fish Sauce Linguistics

Is The Kanohi Vahi Conscious?

Overwhelming Power

The Family Gom Jabbar

[lesbioniclepod]

Episode 7: The Mata Nui Online Game but the AI is Self-Aware

Spotify/iTunes

(episode recorded in May 2023, as the incredibly topical British monarchy jokes will show)

Breakroom 95 Theses

Charles’ Coronation

Regular Hessian vs. Canadian Revolutionary

Taipu and Nausicaä Experience the Beauty of Le-Koro

Blue Mask Gender Thesis

it is with heavy heart that I must announce: we did not do an “of course you have a blue mask and pronouns” joke, but we should’ve.

Kongu Backstory

Gukko Piloting

Dinotopia Reminisces

the skybax rider game has later been confirmed to be a dream

Lewa’s Calm Me Down From Possession Kink

Taipu’s Transgender Allegory

Spraying Kids With The Podcast Hose

Tren Krom Mind Break

The Toa Mata Hold An Intervention

Nac Mac Feegle Gender vs. Matoran Gender/Tiffany Aching’s Bionicles

Nokama’s Vtuber Gimmick

Makuta and the Franklin Expedition

we have now both since watched the terror

Do Bionicles Cook?

The Ultimate Question

Bionicle Amaat

We Learn About the Great Spirit

Incredible Crab Violence

Maryland v. Maritimes

Canceled For Crab Crimes

Kinnie Nui

Moushley and Stuart Little

Revachol-Metru

Tantalizing Glimpses of Bionicle Cuisine

The Jeb Bush of Mata Nui

Crab-Based Horrors Within Our Comprehension

Trans-Supportive Whenua

Kapura Autism Powers

The Chronicler’s (Autistic) Company

THE TOA ARE HERE

Disquisition on Bionicle Yuri v. Yaoi

Every Matoran And Also Nausicaä Is Gay For Gali

Live Reporting From The MNOG Trenches, 1:51:00 to 2:01:30

Thigh Gaps, But Not In The Way You Think

Bionicle Philosophy

Makuta Is Medium-Aware

ET IN ARCADIA VRISKA

We Both Get Really Emotional About The End Of MNOG

[lesbioniclepod]

Episode 6: I went to Po-Koro and all I got was this lousy rock

Not April Fools, we are actually back. for real. (The episode was recorded April 2023)

Itunes/Spotify

Topics of discussion

Emma’s Pronouns

Political Cave Paintings

Bohrok 9 and Toa Sisko

Spades Flirting

Nausicaä’s Nuva Cube

Bohrok Reparative Justice

The Bohrok-Kal Know The Roman Alphabet

Of Course You Have Nuva Armor and Pronouns

Humanstuck Kopaka/Kopaka Initiative/Kopaka Big Naturals

Bionicle Eggs

Game Udders

*Palpatine voice* I love video games.

Makuta: A Scary Rock

Tahu’s Footprints On The Beach

Nausicaä’s Underground Experiences

Po-Koro Souvenirs

Onu-Matoran iPad

Bionicle Power Bash Chicken Strips

Mata Nui Economics Returns

Crab Polish

The Bottoms of Po-Koro

Bed Hardness Discourse

Po-Koro Deals With COVID

Waiting For Pohatu; AKA, Naus Gets Lost In A Video Game

God’s Skin

Ta-Koro Jazzercise

The Takuafication of Harry Dubois

Early Film of Pohatu

Takua’s Horoscope

Naus Enjoys A Mine

The Hit The Bricks Pohatu

[lesbioniclepod]

(Desperate acts of Capitalism voice) Big Things Are Coming

[lesbioniclepod]

LesBionicle

LesBionicle is the internet's premier sapphic Bionicle recap podcast

Listen as a lesbian and a bi woman re-read/watch/play the media published for LEGO's early 2000s-2010s Bionicle toyline, and talk about what the heck was going on with these weird little LEGO guys

Listen on Spotify or iTunes!

Follow us on Twitter!

Your illustrious hosts:

Emma, the lesbian (She/her or ze/zir @library-seraph) Nausicaä, the bi trans woman (She/her, @shipburner)