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@sadasscas

slipping out of the diner, joey dropped her bag on the cold concrete as she drew close enough to get a good view. god fucking damn it ! she could feel her pulse quickening, pounding in her throat like a bass line. checking both tires, she found them slashed--completely through. there wasn’t enough money in her bank account or hidden beneath a floorboard under her mattress to tow the bike back to the pit and replace both tires. she was completely fucked. she’d have to leave her honda here, in the fucking metered parking, and it would be impounded by the time she got back to the pit and got some help. this was fucking bullshit.

an uncharacteristic screech broke the silence, and--sounding so unlike her own voice, which even in the worst times was even-toned and gentle--she didn’t recognize it as her own until she was kicking the slashed motorcycle tires until she couldn’t stand. when she couldn’t stand, she sat. on the curb, in front of her dad’s bike, she took a few ragged breaths. some fucking new year. “1983 can suck the day’s dick.” she spat at her bike, before burying her head in her knees and sighing. there was no point in calling the cops either, because she knew it had to be the jock asshole who would come into the diner with his friends and treat her like trailer trash before trying to grab her number as he lingered after his friends had left. asshole.

she didn’t even give a shit that she couldn’t see her back. let some dirtbag try and take her purse. she didn’t have anything worth taking anyway. as heavy footsteps approached behind her, she lifted her head, gaze still forward on her bike, and let out an exasperated sigh. “look dude, i’ve had a really shitty day, okay? and i really don’t feel like being robbed or like giving you directions to times freaking square.” 

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❤ . ˚ ◝  ––––––  kitty mueller.

kitty had to be the most hated resident in the pit and she understood entirely. with her toddler going through her terrible two’s, it seemed to be like every day the child was screaming and hollering over something new. after saying no to giving her a bottle of rum she had found in the bathroom, the girl screamed and cried her tiny little head off. ‘’ gillian, please stop !  ‘’ she exclaimed, the child only growing louder and more frustrated at her mother’s refusal. looking over at the person who came into the room, kitty put up her hand before anyone could have a word. ‘’ unless you have a solution to this, i really don’t need parenting advice or whatever complaint you’re about to rip into me. ‘’

joey was good with kids--casualty of being the closest approximation of a parent her siblings and niece and nephew had until her mom found freaking aa and replaced addiction with proselytizing. she was good with kids, but she’d raised her siblings and that had left her with no desire to play house anytime soon. and yet ... she couldn’t just avoid the cries of the kid and kitty either. “i don’t know, dude.” she threw her hands up in mock surrender. “i was just going out for a smoke, but maybe there’s like a park or something nearby? she can run out all that energy and we can chainsmoke on the bench.”

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a six-hour shift at the off center diner wasn’t an eternal sentence in hell and--normally, it wasn’t even that bad--but tonight really fucking took the cake. unlike half the people in new york, joey had her own transportation--not a replacement for the father who left it behind, but it’s better than riding the subway home on a day like today. twelve dollars?! she hadn’t made that little the entire time she’d been in new york and the place had been packed. the blonde hair, the big eyes, shy smile--the criterion waitress. she’s the kind of girl you want to save, but the big city is a busy place, so leaving more than 20% will have to do. 

so soon after ziggy? work seems ... meaningless. inconsequential. tedious. even the pit seems tedious. she didn’t even know him half as well as everybody else and yet, she can’t muster a convincing enough smile to make her normal tips. fuck. she’s so in her own head that she almost misses the familiar face on her way out the door, tucking the paltry twelve bucks into her book. “ oh, hey--” every death is a reminder of every other death and this face? a reminder of the home they all stand to lose. “do you want a ride home or something?” swallowing roughly, she puts on a brave face--the first smile of the day. “or some take out for home?”

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white oleander (2002)

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via weheartit

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Maika Monroe photographed by Simone Faoro

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hey folks ! i’m lucia and this is joey--a muse i created about a year ago ?? and have written a little bit on my indie, but have never written her in a group, so i’m super excited. if you missed my ooc intro in discord, the tl;dr version is this: i’m thirty. i live in pst, but i work overnights, so my sleep schedule and activity schedule are a hot mess tbqh. i’m a textbook aquarius. and i just finished a book that stole my heart, so i have to mourn that book before i can start another.

below the cut, you’ll find a stats page on joey as well as a little minibio ( i have to pace myself or i’ll never get to maite’s stuff ).

GENERAL INFORMATION.

full name - josephine harper ryan nicknames - joey, ryan gender / pronouns - she/her date of birth - july 12, 1960 place of birth - corvallis, oregon citizenship / ethnicity - american / irish, english, scottish, icelandic. religion - atheist socioeconomic status / political affiliation - lower middle class; liberal. marital status - single, though may depend on verse. sexual & romantic orientation - bisexual. education / occupation - waitress. languages - english

FAMILY INFORMATION.

parents - darby ( deceased ) & felicity ryan. siblings - heather, eldest sister ( deceased ); katherine, younger sister; edmund, younger brother. offspring - none pets / other - none. notable extended family - isabelle, niece and gabriel, nephew.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION.

faceclaim - maika monroe hair color / eye color - blonde / brown height / build - 5′6″ / slender tattoos / piercings - earlobes x 2. a few cartliage piercings. tattoo of ‘the moon’ tarot card on her left forearm. an ‘x’ tattooed on her right middle finger. distinguishable features - big brown eyes, wild blonde hair

MEDICAL INFORMATION.

medical history - anxiety. known allergies - none. visual impairment / hearing impairment - none. nicotine use / drug use / alcohol use - very rarely will she smoke a cigarette or use drugs. drinks socially, but is more inclined to experiment since she is no longer responsible for her siblings and niece/nephew.

PERSONALITY.

traits - ( + ) amiable, stalwart, imaginative ; ( - ) melancholy, reserved, petulant tropes - small town boredom, desperately looking for a place in life, mommy issues, relative button, perky goth, cool aunt temperament - phlegmatic alignment - chaotic good celtic tree zodiac - holly, the ruler mbti - infp hogwarts house - hufflepuff vice / virtue - envy / diligence likes / dislikes - fairy lights over a dark tapestry, old victorian houses, cats, a new pair of tights with no snags in them, a soft knit sweater, lavender lemonade, almond cookies, the sound of fallen leaves crunching underfoot /  people who dislike children, drunk drivers, the after-church sunday rush at her restaurant, ants, boys who are music elitists. quote - “she tastes like nectar and salt. nectar and salt and apples. pollen and stars and hinges. she tastes like fairy tales. swan maiden at midnight. cream on the tip of a fox’s tongue. she tastes like hope.”

FAVORITES.

food - bacon cheeseburger, no mayo, and fries. drink - strawberry milkshake pizza topping - jalapenos, chicken, and pineapple color - black and pink music - bauhaus, the smiths, the germs, blondie, david bowie, iggy pop, the velvet underground, siouxsie and the banshees, x, the damned, x-ray spex, the specials, talking heads, the go-gos … books - we have always lived in the castle, by shirley jackson movies - suspiria, night of the living dead, blade runner, decline of western civilization, poltergeist, raiders of the lost ark, halloween, mad max, jaws. curse word - bullshit scents - peony, pumpkin, rain

BIOGRAPHY. ( tw death, alcoholism )

josphine ryan is born the second of four to darby and felicity ryan on the hottest day in july, 1960. darby ryan dies on her tenth birthday in a fishing accident while working in alaska and his body is never recovered. his salty grave is too far away to feel real; too far away to place flowers at and mourn. the impact of grief affects her mother profoundly, but between the five of them, they make do. heather and joey, as the eldest girls, make sure the younger ones are looked after while felicity works two jobs. even after heather is on her own and starting her own family, she makes sure her siblings are taken care of.

joey is nearly seventeen when heather and her boyfriend die in the wreck that leaves joey with a broken arm and a small laceration to her forehead. hit by a drunk driver, joey’s niece and nephew had been orphaned in one tragic accident. if her mother had been distant following her father’s death, she was beside herself over the loss of her eldest daughter. within a year, felicity had lost both jobs and rarely left the house except to scrounge up enough cash for a trip to the liquor store. everything fell on the narrow shoulders of the eldest remaining daughter that had dreamed of a life outside of small-town corvallis.

instead of following her dreams of film school, joey graduated early and started working two waitressing jobs. there was a small settlement and some government stipend for the kids, but at eighteen she was hardly seen as fit to be granted full custody of her siblings, niece and nephew. on top of raising the four kids, she made efforts to maintain the image that her mother was a charming stay at home mom that was only absent in public--so stalwart in her dedication to staying home for her children. 

by the time katherine and edmund were able to help out more, felicity had enrolled in aa and was taking steps to become a guiding presence in the kids’ lives again. as much as it released the pressure on her, there was a bitterness joey could not salve. after all this time, felicity ryan could return to reality--image virtually untarnished--and be forgiven as easily as children can forgive. knowing she was unable to keep from screaming into her pillow each night while felicity insisted on chaperoning the younger kids to practices and events, joey finally accepted that she had--for the first time in her life--the opportunity to leave.

though things would, perhaps, always be precarious and toxic between joey and her mother, there was love and understanding. felicity gave joey her blessing ( provided she call once a week ) and her father’s old 1970 honda scrambler. it was a long ride before she found herself in new york city, waiting tables again and hoping to find something bigger than herself to fall in love with. there was so much more to see in this big city than back home and joey basked in it all.

after a recommendation from a friend, joey ended up catching a few shows at veto and fell in love with the anger and passion. still a girl who would rather swallow her own screams than let them bear fruit--the catharsis of the pit, the vocals, and the camaraderie made her feel more at home than she’d even felt changing diapers and packing lunches alone. she’s lived in the pit for about seven months and is torn between the fear of losing a place she finally feels herself in and the worry that she hasn’t been there long enough to have a right to grieve ziggy.

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hey guys, i hope you don’t mind a bunch of inspo recs. i’m another punk rock kid who grew up with all this stuff, except that i didn’t grow up in the city. the largest place i’ve ever lived has a current population of 180k lmao. but i digress, under the cut you can find my favorite 80′s punk books and movies. most of these are relevant to the time period, but there’s a few that aren’t and they’re categorized as such.

books ( truthfully, i read these all maybe ... 15 years ago ?? so i can’t go too in depth ).

we got the neutron bomb: the untold story of la punk la punk is honestly my heart. this is a cool interview based book from people at the time and an easy read with lots of photos of la punk faves. and i don’t want to live this life anymore: a mother’s story of her daughter’s murder this is a crazy, heart wrenching book about the life and death of nancy spungen as written by her mother. of course this book is written subjectively from her viewpoint. please kill me: an uncensored oral history of punk another oral history, but this one isn’t limited in location. rotten: no irish, no blacks, no dogs johnny rotten / john lydon’s autobiography. like with nancy spungen’s mother’s book, it’s a subjective story ( touted as fact, bc lydon doesn’t know what positionality is ). a drink with shane mcgowan ( a little later on the timeline, the pogues didn’t form until 1982, but it’s a great read from what i remember ). a series of interviews between mcgowan and his wife. 

movies ( i’m leaving off the movies already mentioned by the amazing neen, like sid and nancy, the blank generation and ladies and gentlemen the fabulous stains -- both solidddd choices )

suburbia by penelope spheeris ( made in 1983, released in 1984 ) la punk scene film by the director of the decline of western civilization and wayne’s world. tw for an attack on a child early on in the film. this was like ... a pivotal film for me as a kid. careful, there’s some nineties movie of the same name that sucks and i accidentally rented it a bunch of times as a youth trying to find the real one. repo man another 1984 film, but c’mon, how can i NOT talk about repo man. this follows emilio estevez as a punk who becomes a repo man after a little grand theft auto and then shit gets weird. rock ‘n roll high school ( 1979 ) pj soles and the ramones?? this is such a cute, irreverent flick. please watch to learn how to write your own notes for absences. driller killer ( 1979 ) this dude loses his mind while dealing with the stress of life and starts killing folks with a drill. the great rock ‘n roll swindle ( 1980 ) what the fuck is this movie. well, it’s a mockumentary of the sex pistols and it’s wild. valley girl ( 1983 ) god, my mom LOVED this movie. this is when nick cage was hot instead of just a hot mess. it’s an eighties romcom about starcrossed lovers--a girl from the valley and a punk rocker from the city. the decline of western civilization ( 1981 ) directed by penelope spheeris--the ‘rock n roll anthropologist,’ if you will. summer of sam ( 1999 ) set during 1977, this follows the lives of several new yorkers during the .44 caliber killer murders. feat. punk rock adrien brody. the runaways ( 2010 ) a pretty good biopic about the runaways imho. no movie is 100% accurate, but i liked it. even despite my aversion to kstew. what we do is secret ( 2007 ) i honestly barely remember this movie, because this came out during a p booze heavy time in my youth. regardless, i remember it being okay and it’s about my all time favorite punk band, so there you go. i have the vaguest inkling of something about the film annoying me though, in terms of accuracy. also, we have to talk about fear’s appearance on snl, bc i fucking love fear and even if john belushi was an asshole who railroaded female members of snl, at least we have this.

movies that are after 1983, but still in the 80s and have punk themes / characters / cameos and i just want to mentions them because i can !!

return of the living dead ( 1985 ) a fantastic 80s horror comedy a la night of the living dead. some dummies release a gas that turns the dead into zombies. 45 grave performs the song ‘partytime,’ which is essentially the film’s theme. plus we get to hear ‘trash’ go on about how she wonders about what it feels like to get killed. v punk rock. night of the demons ( 1988 ) a party at the abandoned mortuary goes awry after a seance conjures a demon that possesses everyone. reform school girls ( 1986 ) wendy o from the plasmatics in this satyrical, vaguely softcore porn movie about women in prison. it’s terrible. like really terrible, but requisite if you like wendy o. williams--front woman of the plasmatics and queen of shock rock. what to do in case of fire? ( 2001 ) set in 1987, this is a cool movie feat. til schweiger ( of later inglourious basterds fame ) and some anarchist squatters living in berlin. fun fact? one of the first movies i watched with my now husband. thrashin’ ( 1986 ) “what do you thrash?” “what do you got?” jesus christ this movie is the best. baby josh brolin is a valley kid skater that falls in love with the younger sister of skateboarding gang leader of ‘the daggers.’ it’s fucking fantastic. nightmare on elm street 3: dream warriors ( 1987 ) the first movie didn’t come out til ‘84. this sequel, despite having a soundtrack completed by dokken, showcases a punk character named taryn. if you haven’t watched all these and the jason movies, halloween movies, and sleepaway camps ... i’m just upset.

i’m sure i’ll think of more as time goes on and i’ll try and update this list, but these are the few i had off the top of my head tonight.

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Honestly man, I don’t think finding Dee Dee Ramone in your shower warrants this kind of excitement. 

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It Follows (2014)  dir. David Robert Mitchell

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Mark Rubenstein

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300 favorite ladies of horror in no particular order:

21. Anna Peterson (The Guest, 2014)