liensjourney

[liensjourney]

T H E P A R T W H E R E I T ' S S A D

Hi everyone, It’s been a while since I last posted, and I’ve missed connecting with all of you. There’s a reason for my absence, and it’s time I share it with you. Jeremy and I have decided to take some time apart to figure out our relationship. It’s been a challenging journey, and we both need space to understand what we truly want for our future. Our love story has been filled with beautiful moments, but sometimes, even the strongest bonds need a break to heal and grow. We are committed to co-parenting our wonderful twins and ensuring they feel all the love and stability they deserve. Thank you for your support and understanding during this time. I appreciate every message, every comment, and every bit of kindness you’ve shown us. With hope and love, Liên 🤍

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FEELING WARM

Wanted to share this picture of the twins, my two pride and joys. It's moments like these that make the challenges of motherhood a little easier. Their smiles, along with Jeremy's warm hugs truly brighten my days.

xoxo

-a somewhat content mother

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JEREMY AND I

Hey lovelies,

Ten years ago, Jeremy and I met under the most unexpected circumstances. I was in my mid-thirties, navigating the bustling city life, while he, with his devastatingly good looks, was in his mid-twenties, fresh from a small town. I didn't dare think much about him or even glance twice when he walked into the restaurant. In my mind, he was out of my league and certainly not looking for someone like me—a middle-aged woman. But according to Jeremy, the moment he saw me, his heart began to race as if it was the first day of being alive. His world stopped, and his breath quickened. He knew, right then, that I was the one.

That’s probably why he never gave up on pursuing me, despite my best efforts to hide my interest and myself from him. I thought there was no way this would end well. Our lives were worlds apart—our friends, our goals, even our personalities.

Jeremy and I had to conquer many obstacles during those early years. It didn’t help that I was older, and his mother wasn’t my biggest fan. When we married two years into our relationship, his mother was convinced I had brainwashed her son with my 'aging charms'. Now, years into our marriage, the age gap rarely crosses our minds. But with his mother moving in, and our busy schedules putting a strain on our relationship, her words linger. Were we really in different stages of our lives?

Jeremy’s been swamped with his work and horse riding competitions. When he’s home, his focus is on the twins. He’s still incredibly kind, thoughtful, and nearly perfect, but a part of me wonders if he sees me the same way he used to. Does he still get excited to come home to me, like I do for him? His touches feel unfamiliar at times, and those sweet “I love yous” or calls from work just to check on me (not the kids) have dwindled. I should talk to him, but a part of me is scared. Blogging about it may not be the smartest move, but I’m desperate to get these feelings out.

Recently, I stumbled upon a picture of us from our wedding rehearsal night. It took me back to how we used to be, how excited he was to start a life with me. He left everything behind and turned his world upside down just to be with me. To him, at that time, I was worth giving up everything for. I was his whole world. So, why do I now feel like I no longer fit into his current world?

Thanks for letting me share. 💕

xoxo

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UTTER CHAOS

Hey lovelies!

It's been a minute, and oh boy, do I have some updates for you! Life with twins has been a whirlwind, especially with Jeremy almost always working. When he's not in uniform, he's off practicing or competing in horse riding competitions. Horses are his absolute passion. I know it might look like I’m handling everything solo, but Jeremy does help when he can.

We recently moved into a new house that, surprise surprise, already feels too small. We're planning another move soon, but only after Jeremy wraps up his competitions. The area we’re in is perfect for his practice sessions and all the competitions are hosted here. So, for now, we're staying put, even though sometimes I just want to scream into a pillow and book a one-way ticket to a deserted island.

And just to add a cherry on top of this chaotic sundae, my mother-in-law has moved in with us to help with the twins. While I appreciate the extra pair of hands, our relationship is… let’s just say, a work in progress. The house feels even smaller, and sometimes I think the walls are closing in on me. But hey, I’m hopeful we can find a better rhythm together.

Motherhood is a wild ride—full of ups and downs, sleepless nights, and heart-melting moments. Here are two pictures that perfectly capture the good and the exhausting parts. The first one is me, totally knocked out while bottle-feeding Londyn—exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it! The second is a selfie with Lewis, eyes closed in pure bliss. Somehow, I actually look refreshed in this one.

Thanks for sticking with me through all the chaos. 🤍

xoxo

-a mother running on four hours of sleep

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SUNDAY MORNIN' , RAIN'S NOT FALLIN'

Sunday mornings in the Coles household: a little messy, a lot tranquil. There's beauty in the chaos, especially when it means a few extra moments of peace. 🤍

xoxo

Liên

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CHANGE

Hi lovelies, It's Liên Coles, and today, I need to vent a little. This morning started off surprisingly well—a close friend took the twins for a sleepover, and Jeremy (my husband) and I finally made it to the gym together. It felt good to have a productive morning, especially since I haven't touched workout equipment in months. Motherhood truly transforms your routine in ways you can’t imagine.

Later, Jeremy surprised me with a date to the beach. We had a lovely picnic, and of course, took some pictures. But when I looked at those photos, my jaw dropped. I didn’t recognize the person in them—my arms, hips, thighs, stomach, chin, and cheeks. The stretch marks crisscrossing every inch reminded me of how drastically my body has changed from just a few years ago. Then it hit me—Jeremy had taken me to the very same beach where we had our third date. Back then, I had bleach blonde hair, a smaller body, and apparently no stretch marks at all. Seeing myself now, in stark contrast to who I was then, made me realize just how much time has passed and how much I have changed.

That night, as I watched Jeremy snore softly beside me, I came to a realization. I need to embrace my body more. This body carried my children, and it's the same body my husband cherishes and admires. I know it will be a long journey to stop criticizing myself immediately, but I’m determined to learn to love all of me, just as my loved ones do.

I’m sharing this because I hope it resonates with someone out there. Motherhood is a beautiful chaos, and it can be overwhelming. But we’re in this together.

Though it’s tough, I’ve decided to attach the picture Jeremy took today alongside one of me from five years ago—the me I seem to (sometimes) idealize and wish to be again.

xoxo Liên

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WELCOME

Hey there, lovely souls! I'm Liên, and I just had to jump on here and share the absolute disaster that is my morning. Picture this: I woke up looking like a hot mess—haven’t brushed my teeth, my shirt is a canvas of milk and baby food, and my hair could give Einstein a run for his money. And those solid two hours of sleep I got? Felt like half a second.

Right now, I should be cleaning, vacuuming, changing diapers, and feeding the twins. But I’m two seconds away from screaming, so I thought I’d vent here instead. And for those curious about my husband’s whereabouts—he’s in the kitchen, valiantly attempting to cook breakfast. Fingers crossed he doesn’t burn the house down!

Okay, I’ve got to dash and tackle the mountain of mom duties, but seriously, what did I get myself into? Why didn’t anyone warn me about this chaos? I guess… that's why I’m here—to let you in on the wild ride that is motherhood and all the other hoods (aka womanhood, wifehood etc.). Because let’s be real, this life needs a caution sign!

I’ll leave you with a family picture that took five hours to take. Just know, as you look at it, our current state is the exact opposite. I haven't showered in three days, and that’s just scratching the surface.

See you soon, and stay sane out there!

xoxo Liên