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[lieujones]

Aemond: Ew, a rat.

The rat: Ew, a closeted bisexual idiot who struggles to express his undying love for the nephew who slashed his eye because he treasures him too much and wouldn’t want to hurt said nephew by telling him about his true feelings and so he spends his whole time calling him 'bastard' and hunting him down.

Aemond: What the fuck.

[lieujones]

Rhaenyra (in her mom jokes era): We all have our demons.

Rhaenyra, grabbing Daemon: This one is mine

Lucerys: Ahahahahah! Mommy, you’re so funny!

Rhaenyra: :)

Lucerys, grabbing Aemond: Mine’s this

Rhaenyra: Ahahah-

Rhanerya: WHAT

[lieujones]

Aemond: There was this guy named Lucerys. Now you see, Lucerys used to hang out at the city pool everyday, all summer long, and he was the finest thing there. And I knew that if I wanted to be his boyfriend, I had to get him to notice me. So, one day, I climbed the high-dive, which was something that only the absolute coolest guys did, because, see I knew he was gonna be watching.

Alys: What happened?

Aemond: Well I got up on the high-dive, and I strutted out on that board to try and do the meanest swan dive in the history of swimming, got to the edge of the board, looked down and discovered why they call the high-dive, the high-dive. I stood there trembling, with Lucerys and everyone up there looking up at me!

Alys: What did you do?

Aemond: I did the only thing I could do, I made everybody waiting on the ladder get off so I could get down. I walked past Lucerys. I was so embarrassed, I couldn't even look him in the face. I never spoke to him again. That's how I ended up with you.

[lieujones]

Aemond: Normally I am a logical person.

Aemond: But whenever I am with Lucerys my emotions are always on the surface. I can't control them.

Aemond: It’s a mix of so many feelings. I don't understand if I want to yell at him or just snog the life out of him.

Aemond: I don't know what to do. It's too complicated.

Aemond: And the worst part is he seems to be completely oblivious about the way he affects me.

Aegon: I didn't even ask how your day was.

[lieujones]

Aemond: There's a pigeon in the window.

Lucerys: And?

Aemond: He's looking at me.

Lucerys: It's just a pigeon.

Aemond: Coming for me.

Lucerys: You faced fucking Vaghar AND lost an eye when you were 10 and you're afraid of a pigeon?

Aemond: Nonono, love, you don’t understand.

Aemond: It’s a pigeon.

[lieujones]

Aemond: I only kissed three people in my life.

Lucerys: ???

Lucerys: Me, Alys and who else??

Jacaerys: LUKE WHAT

Rhaena: YOU WHAT

Baela: KISSED WHO

[lieujones]

Rhaenyra: So how's the parenting life treating you so far?

Lucerys, on his seventh cup of coffee: He's the light of our lives!

Aemond, from another room: Yeah, a light that won't fucking shut off.

Rhaenyra:

Lucerys: He's fine, he's just tired and mad he can't make too much noise in the bedroom anymore

Lucemond child: *screams*

Aemond: *screams back*

[lieujones]

10-year-old Aemond: What's this?

5-Year-old Lucerys, holding out a wet piece of paper with glue and glitter on it: A gift!

Aemond: Thank you, I love it.

*10 years later*

Lucerys: I don't understand why you framed such hideous childhood artwork above your mantle.

Aemond: Maybe you should've thought about that before making such hideous artwork. I love it. It's never being taken down.

[lieujones]

Aemond, holding a bar of chocolate: Hello, Lucerys.

Lucerys: Oh no, you only do that when you have bad news... What happened?

Aemond: Jacaerys wants to pay you a visit. 

Lucerys: Wait, how is that bad news? 

Aemond, shoving half the bar in his mouth: It is for me.

Lucerys:

Aemond: Pretty sure Aegon is coming as well, my eye socket hurts.

[lieujones]

Lucerys, walking in on Aegon stuffing his face with food in the kitchen at 3 am: Are you okay?

Aegon: I had a bad dream. Couldn’t get back to sleep.

Lucerys: Why don’t you come hop in bed with me and Aemond?

Aegon: What? No! I’m not five, I don't need to sleep with mommy and daddy.

Lucerys: You were never allowed to do that, were you?

Aegon:

---

Aegon, five seconds later, between Luke and Aemond: This isn’t that bad. Quite nice actually.

Lucerys: Goodnight, Aegon.

Aemond: Sleep well, brother.

Aegon, holding back tears: Goodnight.

[lieujones]

Aemond: One time, I had a crush on a boy and didn’t know how to deal with it so I wrote him a note that said “get out of this castle or else”

Aegon:

Helaena:

Jacaerys:

Lucerys: Holy shit, that was YOU?!

[lieujones]

Aemond: I was thinking I could cook a romantic dinner for Luke.

Helaena: That's so sweet!

Aemond: Yes. Little problem, I have never cooked anything in my entire life.

Aegon, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: Fine, I'll give you some advice.

[lieujones]

Aemond: You seriously wanna compete with me? I almost conquered half of your mother's kingdom.

Lucerys, smirking: Wow, I'm almost half-scared.

Aemond:

Aemond: You will pay.

Lucerys: Sure, do you accept almost half-payments?

[lieujones]

Alicent: Can I just say... I am very comfortable with your... sexuality?

Aemond: Can I just say that your comfort with my sexuality has made me... more comfortable with... my... sexuality?

Lucerys, tied up on Aemond's bed: Can I just say that if I had a gun with me right now, I would shoot myself twice?

[lieujones]

Aemond: It can be challenging finding playmates for an exceptional child. I don't mean to brag, but that's why I didn't have any friends.

Lucerys: You were a pain in the ass, that’s why you didn’t have any friends.

[lieujones]

Thank you for your content 🥺 please take this 🤲❤❤❤

Awskalskswa

I will keep your little hearts in my little heart like the treasure they are🥹

AND I VOW THAT I WILL CONTINUE TO SERVE CONTENT TO THIS FANDOM AND TO THE LUCEMONDS.

[lieujones]

Aemond: Sorry you couldn't come to the wedding, it was impromptu but it still would have been no kids.

Joffrey: It’s okay, I’ll go to your next one.

Aemond: Ah! Wow.

Lucerys: He just means when he’s not a kid anymore.

Joffrey: He knows what I mean.

Aemond, hissing: I don’t like you.

Joffrey, hissing back: I’ll get over it.