life-and-no-escape

[life-and-no-escape]

[life-and-no-escape]

Friend: Wanna hang out tomorrow?

Me: I actually performed an Activity yesterday. Please wait the three day recovery period to submit another inquiry

[life-and-no-escape]

I haven't been eating but I can feel my skin stretching all over. Oh god oh god I feel sick.

[life-and-no-escape]

As a child I felt much older than my years because I had to deal with things no child should ever have to. As an adult I feel much younger than my years because of all the ways my childhood trauma has held me back.

[life-and-no-escape]

Feeling frantic and hysterical. Gonna go run round and round in circles till I collapse.

[life-and-no-escape]

[life-and-no-escape]

I’m supposed to be a ‘survivor’ but I don’t feel like I survived. I feel like I died back then and my body just keeps existing. 

[life-and-no-escape]

This is so like me that I thought perhaps I had written it, but I don't go to school anymore so it can't have been..

Whenever there's super fluorescent lights or if a teacher calls on me I don't know my name. I scratch my arms or pinch myself because it helps me feel grounded but it only lasts for so long. If I'm distracted it helps but I get this overwhelming feeling of that I'm stuck here death is the only way out but I am scared to die. It's a never ending cycle. Idk if anyone can relate.

Our host is almost exactly like this. It’s terrible. I’m sure there might be a few others on here that can relate. Thank you for sharing, I hope things get better soon.

[life-and-no-escape]

What if I never get over what you did to me?

[life-and-no-escape]

I’m fighting myself. I know I am. One minute I want to remember. The next minute I want to live in the land of forgetting. One minute I want to feel. The next minute I never want to feel ever again.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Last Night I Sang to the Monster (via wordsnquotes)

[life-and-no-escape]

my therapist: how has the past week been for you?

me: idk i don't remember

[life-and-no-escape]

I’m tired of life and my mind wants to die.

Sarah Kane, 4.48 Psychosis. (via recoveringborderline)

[life-and-no-escape]

Urgency, there was so much urgency – to change, to escape the past.

Louise Glück, from Fable (via violentwavesofemotion)

[life-and-no-escape]

fry cry dry / march 2016 / Karolina Koryl

[life-and-no-escape]

Traumatic events that occur early in childhood are encoded in the psyche in a modality that is primarily nonverbal. Neurologic studies of the effects of child abuse on brain function suggest that trauma results in overactivation of right brain (nonverbal) activity as compared with left brain (verbal) activity (Schiffer, Teicher, & Papanicolaou, 1995). Thus, when traumatic events are relived in current reality, they retain a strikingly nonverbal quality. In the clinical arena it is quite striking to encounter patients who are otherwise highly intelligent, verbal, and articulate, but who literally seem to have no words to describe their childhood experiences. For these patients, their experiences of early childhood abuse remain both literally and figuratively unspeakable.

James A. Chu, Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders (via disabledbyculture)

[life-and-no-escape]

Too scared to sleep.

[life-and-no-escape]