lifeaccordingtokevin

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Back to Basics

When I heard the phrase, ‘Back to Basics’ this morning in a AA meeting, it sparked something inside of me. With my recent move to Delaware, I’ve been feeling a little lost and trying to find where I fit in this new place. I realized that I need to get back to the basics. The meeting where I heard this was the 2nd meeting I’ve got to since COVID. During the pandemic, I fell off my meeting…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Journey of Deconstruction

I was baptized and raised Catholic by parents who thought it was their duty to bring up their children in the church. I went to CCD for 7 years, received my first communion and was confirmed. Growing up, I enjoyed going to church, volunteered to teach CCD and became a part of the choir. It appeared I was the picture perfect Catholic boy.  I was in love with God and my religion – I thought it…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Powerless, but Not Helpless

Over the weekend, I heard the following statement in a meeting of my recovery program, “I might be powerless over this situation, but I am not helpless.” This stuck with me and is something I’ve been thinking about for a few days. It’s become my mantra (seriously, I repeat it all the time) and has been a focus of my morning meditations. 

What does this mean? For me it means that I have…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Self-Care in the time of COVID-19

I haven’t been very active with my blogging lately – life has been crazy and the COVID-19 hit, which has been taking up a lot of my energy and time. But while practicing physical distancing and staying at home, I have sometime to get back to blogging. 

I’m on week 3 of working from home and only leaving the house to get food and go grocery shopping. During this time I’ve had to understand what…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

The Mountain (part 2)

I spent this past weekend on the Mountain and a spiritual recovery retreat with 53 other LGBTQ+ and ally individuals in various stages of recovery and in different recovery programs. Last year, I attended this same retreat and had an experience focused on deep realizations about myself. This year was different – my experience was much deeper and wasn’t entirely about me.

I was a part of the…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Finding My People

I’ve spent a lot of time in and out of sobriety trying to find that special group or those who I can lean on without question. To be frank – it has stressed me out and often brought up feelings of shame. I haven’t been able to find ‘my people’ and it used to make me feel bad. Now I’ve realized that I don’t have a set of people – only those in my life who align with my values and those that don’t.…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Changing the Conversation

I started this blog to tell my story and get out of my head. It was a may to keep myself accountable and a creative outlet for me. If it helped someone, great! But that wasn’t the point of it – it was all about me.

Recently I’ve had some conversations that have cause me to pause and think beyond just what I’ve been doing. The questions what could this blog become? What impact could I have on…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Networking While Sober

Recently, I’ve re-launched  my coaching business and as a part of generating leads for clients is putting myself out there. The easiest way to do this is through networking. While online networking is a growth area, I am more comfortable doing my networking in-person.

Most in-person networking events are hosted as bars and some even include complimentary beer & wine. The intent behind this…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

I Don't Need Anyone's Help...

I Don’t Need Anyone’s Help…

Recently I’ve been reading Brene Brown and one quote stood out to me as particularly profound – “If you can’t ask for help without self-judgment, you cannot offer help without judging others.” This resonated with me on a spiritual level. I view myself of someone who offers help freely and often, without judgment. However, I have trouble asking for and accepting the help of others.

Somewhere in…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Reconnection

Last week I had the opportunity to see two friends from college – one I haven’t seen since I became sober and one I hadn’t seen since I joined my recovery program. One of the first comments they both made to me was how good I looked (they meant in a happiness day, not in an attractiveness way).

These were the first two people I have seen from my past (the period before my drinking spiraled)…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Introversion vs Isolation

Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself spending a lot of time alone and I’m not sure if it fits under the label of isolation or introversion.

Anyone who knew me in my prior life would have claimed I was extroverted. I spent as much time as possible with others and was not a stranger to anyone. For a period of time, I believed that as well. What I didn’t realize that the extroversion was a…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Compassion, Shame, and Vulnerability

Compassion, Shame, and Vulnerability

Recently I’ve focused on deepening my connection with the Divine and my spirituality. This started after seeing Marianne Williamson during a Democratic Party debate discussing her views on how we needed to return to a place of love and compassion to combat the hate that has risen in our world. I connected with her remarks in way I had not connected with someone on that stage before (note: this is…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Sober Vacation

This weekend I took my first sober vacation. I have been on trips in sobriety, but they have always had a specific purpose – a sports tournament, visiting family, etc. This was the first time I went somewhere with the sole purpose of relaxation and on concrete plans (aside from walking on the beach). Not only was this my first vacation in sobriety, it was my first real vacation in several years…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Dulling into Simplicity

My life used to be filled with something every moment I was awake – I would got to work, have a meeting, go to some kind of sports related activity or out with friends. Even when I first got sober, I still kept a full schedule of activities and events. Comparatively, today my life is pretty basic – I go to work, maybe to a meeting, and then home to watch tv until it’s time for bed. I…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Creating Space

This weekend I attended the Stonewall Sports National Tournament. I want to preface this post by stating I had a wonderful time and was captain of an amazing team.

Friday, there was a summit that was heavily focused on diversity and inclusion and the keynote speaker was someone who is sober and shared their story of recovery. They ended their talk with challenging us to create spaces where…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

Finding My Higher Power

Finding My Higher Power

I grew up in the church and was raised Catholic.  For as long as I can remember, I have believed in God.   When I was young, it was the. God.  I was told to believe in —- the one of the Catholic Church.I embraced this belief for most fo my childhood, throughout high school and into college. I didn’t question much and blindly followed.

As I began to grow into myself and realized who I was, I…

[lifeaccordingtokevin]

First Things First

Lately I’ve been in a bad head space and felt disconnected spiritually. While this might not be concern for alarm for most people, for a recovering alcoholic this is usually a red flag that they aren’t working their recovery program in the best way.

As I reflected upon this feeling, I began to realize that I wasn’t working my program the best way I could and I wasn’t putting my sobriety first.…