lifeofkaze

[lifeofkaze]

You must allow yourself to outgrow and depart from certain eras of your life with a gentle sort of ruthlessness.

Katy Maxwell; girl of the earth

[lifeofkaze]

You don’t remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened.

John Green; An Abundance of Katherines

[lifeofkaze]

it's simple really: october is for horror movies with highly stylized villains and iconic monsters because they make for good costumes. early november is for gothic horror because of the fog and decay etc. late november is for zombies (commentary on consumerist culture). december is for psychological horror and stuff where they're trapped in a room because that's when you have to go to holiday parties with your family.

[lifeofkaze]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[lifeofkaze]

I am here for ALL of this!!

Rey's daughter got stoned with the hippies?!

My sweet little doe-eyed chemist?

Of course, she did.

My fault for letting that surprise me.

[lifeofkaze]

We tell our stories differently, don’t we, you and I?

Paula Hawkins; Into the Water

[lifeofkaze]

After 37 years of absence, the bust of Jim Morrison, stolen in 1988 from the Père Lachaise cemetery, has been found!

Of the Prefecture of Police, under the authority of the Paris Public Prosecutor's Office, this iconic symbol for the Morrison fans was recovered.

[lifeofkaze]

Die temu ad die

[lifeofkaze]

This hit home, and I think it will resonate hard with all my creative friends, here. You are amazing and brilliant and I BEG YOU to keep creating!! ❤️❤️❤️

[lifeofkaze]

Oh wow, I *love* this picture you paint of Sebastian here, as grim as it might be. What a strong comparison, amazing!

I still haven’t returned to fanfic, so have a snippet of my first draft Icarus (which turns into more and more of a mess and, for once, it isn’t even because of Ev. Help.)

Whenever he thought back on his backstage time with Active Pursuit, it didn’t take long for the small sachet hidden on the bottom of his bag to push back into his thinking either. He shoved it there the moment he was first alone after Johnny had pressed it into his hand and had tried and failed to forget about it ever since. It called to him, beckoned him with whispers about how great he’d been at Athens; he could have this again any moment he chose to. All he needed was one dose, tiny, not even a big one.

Ev let it call and went about his day but the harder he tried not to think about it, the more prevalent the thought became. He thought about it often, so often in fact, that the voice inside his head told him to take the coke just to have it gone.

He told it to shut up and went about its day.

He didn’t help to perform. He didn’t need Rich telling him how to work his crowd, he didn’t Leon lecturing him how to sing his songs, and he sure as hell didn’t need drugs to show the world that Athens hadn’t been exceptional but the baseline of what he could do, the bare minimum, the starting point.

Proving this to anyone who doubted him had turned into an obsession so, night after night, Ev went above and beyond on stage. The constant stress on his voice and body were soon beginning to show; he had trouble falling asleep at night and not even the drinks and the increasingly more random sex after their shows helped calm his system down. He lay awake far into the small hours, wired up by doubts about the parts he’d fumbled, the notes he’d missed and the cues and interludes that had been awkward rather than smooth.

‘You look like, shit, son, if you don’t mind me saying so.’ Rich watched him closely over the rim of his coffee cup. ‘Another bad night, huh?’

Ev shrugged and put another spoonful of sugar into his mug. Like white dust, it trickled from the silver curve reflecting his upside-down features. ‘Had better ones.’

‘Is anything wrong with your bunk? Want me to speak to the driver?’

‘I’m fine,’ Ev almost-snapped. ‘What makes you think otherwise?’

Tagging whoever wants to feel tagged but esp @kc-and-co and @stevenmeeks

WIP WEDNESDAY

Thank you for the tag @whalesongsblog @butternutt613 ✨🥰

I give u… this.

Most of my warmup sketches have been turning into nsfw pieces, which worries me a little bit. ( jk it doesn’t 🧐 )

Update its done and ready on my Poipiku *emoji of pepe laughing

How about you? Any wips in the making?🥰 NP!: @littlejony @libellule-ao3 @myokk @amethystandemma @rosewoodcafe @tamayula-hl

[lifeofkaze]

how to avoid burnout as a writer (from someone who has been on fire too many times)

✨ burnout is real and it sucks. ✨ it sneaks up on you. one day you're vibing, writing 3k words like you're possessed by a victorian ghost, and the next you can't even open your google doc without feeling like you're made of sand.

so, here’s a soft little reminder list for avoiding that very specific hell:

1. set baby goals, not monster goals.

yes, it’s sexy to aim for 5k words a day. no, it’s not sustainable unless you are a literal cryptid who feeds on caffeine and deadlines. try "write 100 words" or "open the document and stare at it lovingly." smaller wins keep the spark alive.

2. romanticize resting.

if you treat naps, nature walks, and binge-watching shows like sacred rituals, your brain will actually thank you by NOT catching fire. resting isn't "losing time" — it's fueling your magic.

3. stop treating first drafts like final drafts.

your first draft is supposed to be messy. it’s a goblin draft. let it have typos and weird pacing and characters who change eye color halfway through a scene. perfectionism is burnout’s evil twin.

4. write for yourself first.

not your future readers. not your critical cousin. not even your annoying inner editor who sounds suspiciously like your 8th grade english teacher. write what makes you feel something.

5. say yes to real life.

touch grass. call your friends. eat a popsicle. people-watching at the grocery store counts as research, actually. if you make your whole life about writing, it will eat you alive. you are a human, not a word factory.

6. accept the seasons of writing.

sometimes you’ll be in full-on creative beast mode. sometimes you’ll feel like a wrung-out dishcloth. both are normal. trust the cycle.

🌿 writing is a long game. protect your spark. protect your heart. the world needs your stories, but it needs you more. 🌿

[lifeofkaze]

I see no reason why not at least one person in the TPT thought...

There’s a difference between editing and “pharma fiction is overdone, maybe they own a vineyard. You’ll only have to change a few thousand words.” when you’re frustrated with your book.

I’m on very thin ice.

[lifeofkaze]

Tim McIlrath

from Rise Against

Portraits are a lot of work, but so worth it

Messed up the other eye on my first attempt XD

[lifeofkaze]

Carnage Circus

Let there be carnage...

On 19.11.2021 I introduced the concept of Carnage Circus as an Alternate Universe (AU) for some characters of mine and some friends used in fanfiction. It was an idea I wanted to launch for Halloween. A small story I used in order to have fun, building a new world and giving it the Halloween vibes.

When I actually went back in time in order to find the date...I was stunned. In my mind, they had been with me always, it seems like yesterday that the idea came to life.

However they had lived and I wrote for them a long time after the initial announcement, last story for it being published on 02.11.2023

Back then...I let it lose, very few planning apart from the lore and some rules set in stone. I just wrote. And out of that love for the idea a story was born, alongside multiple other mini stories of before and after some time later.

Now I am sitting almost...half a year in 2025.

In the years/months between I sat with it, read it many times, had my better half publish a paper back version of it that I loved but terrified me at the same time. Because it meant in my head that he actually took time to read, to document and create a live version, something palpable when in my mind it had always been fiction, fantasy...even if I shared it online.

It stunned me into silence. Seeing an actual real copy of the story terrified me.

But I also shared it with friends. Brought it with myself on trips to read it over again, cringed, loved it and hated it at the same time. And one day while I was on the train going to a work meeting I wondered what I can change to make it better at least for me, just for me.

The paperback took a hit, massive one. I am surprised I didn't actually rip pages from the book. I wanted more. More lore than I spent hours thinking of, I wanted more love, more horror, more torment.

Now it's 2025. Am I ready?

No.

But i added chapters, changed names, made it mine more than before. I poured myself once more in a world that I thought forgotten and it felt like falling in love.

Is it ready to see the light of day? No.

Far from it.

But carnage was raw the first time over. And now with rewriting certain parts it's ever worse. I didn't gatekeep that story so I am doing the unthinkable now.

After being silent for so long and the characters not talking, now that they are speaking...I will launch them. They had a week to understand everything after denying practically all on this earth so I shall do the same.

When one chapter is ready, it's out.

I promised myself this year is trial by fire and Carnage Circus wasn't even in the works. Well...looks like a lot of things aren't so let's howl together.

[lifeofkaze]

Yesterday was WORLD BOOK DAY. Because I can’t do anything timely, I can only encourage you to grab a copy of UNTIMELY today.

[lifeofkaze]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

[lifeofkaze]

So turns out…..you guys are not gonna believe this…….but it turns out. Reading real books. Is good for you actually.