lilliesthings

[lilliesthings]

*delusional* : she’s been cast as Diana Reid’s little sister… possibly a new unsub. The new unsub is Diana’s little sister.

[lilliesthings]

sewn by the color of green

WC : 10k~

Relationships : Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, implied ralvez

Characters : Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Hank Spencer Morgan, Penelope Garcia, Emily Prentiss, Diana Reid

TW & tags : past csa, mentions of Carl Buford, implied/referenced sexual assault, talks of rape/sexual assault, mentions of Cat Adams, addiction, canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending

Summary :

"Roughhousing, kid" Morgan can feel the sense memory trigger, hears himself say those same words as well over a decade ago. They’ve circled back to that moment somehow.

Back then, Spencer went rigid for all of two seconds before trying to wrench away from him.

"We're bonding," Derek had said, and let then go.

In the aftermath of Spencer's prison release, in a small house at the end of a shrub-lined street, Morgan and Reid are slowly mending what was broken.

(Set in early Season 13)

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Set in the continuity of this but can be read as a standalone

Read on AO3 : HERE

[lilliesthings]

my bad we’re gonna have to put that on hold for a bit

Hi guys. As soon as I’m done sleeping for 48 consecutive hours and regaining my strength I’m drawing some moreid for sure

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i offer you this yaoi attempt

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"victorian sickly man" is the most crazy yet oddly accurate way I had ever seen someone describe Spencer Reid.

Truly quality blorbo

I’m asking for a refund at the first sign of health.

[lilliesthings]

*referring to your last Ralvez piece* born to stare at this victorian sickly man get his heart and holes filled, forced to pay bills 😔 no but seriously I love it so much

HHSKDBDGDSJ

we live in a sick and twisted world, anon. can’t even stare at this victorian sickly man get his holes and heart filled… because of the economy …

[lilliesthings]

i offer you this yaoi attempt

[lilliesthings]

okay cool! i am glad it sent i get nervous because tumblr likes to mess up so much. i am glad you liked it!!! also, as to having an ao3,while i do have one i dont write fics i'm sorry, i just make fanart. not within the criminal minds fandom though! thanks for asking though its really sweet. and i will look into that fanfic rec later! tysm

Gotcha! Dw I understand!

This app could use an outbox, the idea of losing beautiful ficlets to the void … 😟

[lilliesthings]

please recommend some angsty fics

The Bunker by LightAndHeat

The characterisation !!! Ugh it delights me

[lilliesthings]

Sad Headcanon: Reid is so used to people leaving FOR GOOD and never ever contacting him again (unless they come back to the BAU like Emily or J.J) that he feels so off and weird and UNSETTLED with Morgan's precense on his life after he left the team. Like he is HAPPY that his best friend didn't leave forever obviously, but he is also SCARED because he is not used to this- this constant missing someone but not actually grieving them because they still check on you alot, you know? I truly believe he cried when he received his first call.

That meme "My best friend Morgan.... sometimes I can still hear his voice"

"Stop telling people I'm dead!"

But more seriously yes I know!!! The regularity, the comfort of having his presence there everyday being gone, so there is this loss to deal with, but that feels wrong since he’s not been lost, it’s just different 😢

[lilliesthings]

i don't think it sent so i'm trying again. please ignore my previous message asking about it i am so sorry. at least i got to fix some things so there's a silver lining to these things. though im sure, knowing me, there are still plenty of typos. back but with a different ficlet pairing this time! its unrequited(?) LukexReidxGarcia because I love angst:

When Luke and Garcia start dating its magical to see, as an outsider looking in. Especially for Reid, who has had a crush on the both of them for quite some time. Garcia for many years and Luke for about a year and a half when they make it official. He watches them joke with each other, their soft glances and moments of affection and he smiles to himself at their antics. Wonders what it would be like to be included in the flirtation, what his part would be. Maybe overly romantic? Make them blush with how gooey he could be? He holds no delusions of his daydreams actually going anywhere,at least that what he tells himself. sometimes. still remembers the sting of Penelope specifically saying to him that he's someone she could never be sexually attracted to. Which still hurts to think about,he knows she didn't mean to be cruel, but it's hard to get over that sort of rejection when you remember everything in your life with perfect clarity. Remembers how excited he was when she asked him to the con and how long he spent knitting the scarf just for her to cut their day short before they were ever called in for the case. But it's okay don't think about it Wonders if maybe Luke could be attracted to him? Imagines being kissed along his neck and held in his big arms. He bets he's great at that. It's been so long since he's been held or caressed by someone safe and loving. Hasn't been kissed for longer than he would dare to admit to anyone else. Though, he supposes, they'd already know. And if neither were attracted to him he wonders if they would be okay with him being a third in a platonic way? They wouldn't even have to kiss him, that way. Wouldn't even have to pretend they wanted to He could make do with that. Wouldn't ask for anything more than to spend time with them, eat dinner, clean the kitchen go to the movies. Simple enough things so that he wouldn't impose too much. He knows he's too much. Wonders if he could be lucky enough to get to be held by the both of them. Imagines wrapping his own arms around them. Imagines how warm and wanted he would feel. Imagines a hand held over his own wildly beating heart. Face pink and flushed in the office as it crosses his mind,as he sees them smile at each other,not glancing his way. Heart hammering as he silently begs them to look over for just a moment. Maybe it doesn't have to be a daydream after all? Makes strange little challenges to himself if they look over by the time I count to 20? then they were thinking of me too! And when they don't, it's like the universe dismissing his hypotheticals in real time. They walk past him and it's like someone has poured cement into his stomach and captured his heart in a vice. He guiltily reels himself back in, stealthily wipes a tear from his eye. He admonishes himself, of course they weren't thinking about you. they wouldn't ever want to hold you while releasing a deep breath, then goes back to his paperwork.

Holy fuck ...

Okay yeah! yeah. Yeah Okay. Cool 😭 cool

So you woke up and decided to choose violence? Decided to come into my house, hit me in the face with a baseball bat and set all of my belongings on fire???

"Wouldn't ask for anything more than to spend time with them, eat dinner, clean the kitchen go to the movies. Simple enough things so that he wouldn't impose too much."

Punched me in the teeth for good measure too 😭

I'm a little speechless. it was so good I literally felt like I was there in his shoes and my heart shrivelled up and died.

Thank you for sharing this 😭👍 

[lilliesthings]

seeing the light at the end of the tunnel 🫡

I'm so rusty but at long last!!! I finally finished the initial ralvez sketch. Gonna sleep on it and look at it again with fresher eyes tomorrow for any glaring mistakes and FINALLY move to coloring

[lilliesthings]

Oof. truly fighting with these colors

I'm so rusty but at long last!!! I finally finished the initial ralvez sketch. Gonna sleep on it and look at it again with fresher eyes tomorrow for any glaring mistakes and FINALLY move to coloring

[lilliesthings]

I am crying- two weeks in their relationship Luke is a bit hurt that they never sleep together because he assumes Spencer just sleeps on the couch- babygirl, ookie pookie, Spencer sleeps on the metro on his way to work.

This is what he does at night.

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Ralvez living together would be so fun- they actually fit each other' Schedules 💜💜 Luke doesn't has to worry about waking his boyfriend up whenever he gets up super early to take Roxy on a walk because Reid is on their sofa wide awake staring at photos of murder 🥰🥰

“Spence please, seeing corpses first thing in the morning is bad for the baby”

(Roxy is the baby)

[lilliesthings]

I'm so rusty but at long last!!! I finally finished the initial ralvez sketch. Gonna sleep on it and look at it again with fresher eyes tomorrow for any glaring mistakes and FINALLY move to coloring

[lilliesthings]

So glad you enjoyed that last ficlet!!! Okay, ik I've been leaving sweet Ralvez angsty ficlets but I had an angsty Ralvez thought to do with unrequited!Moreid (expanding a bit from another I sent recently, but sort of an AU.): Reid and Luke have just started dating and are cuddled together in bed. Luke wakes to Reid thrashing in the throes of a nightmare screaming for Morgan like he did in s4. Luke gets him calm and Reid is embarrassed for calling out for Morgan, and Luke is all "It's okay you've known him forever of course you'd call out to him" but Reid feels guilty because he's been trying to distance his mind from seeing Morgan as a protector in his every day life. In fact he has barely heard from Morgan as of late, and honestly, it aches. He was so happy for Morgan in finding love and creating a family, but it happened not long after he had finally worked up the nerve to confess his own feelings for Morgan. Done so after Morgan drove him home from the airport right after a case. Reid leaned over to kiss his cheek in thanks and started quoting a favorite poem that had always reminded him of Derek. He smiled at Reid, took his hand and let him down so gently. So far Reid hasn't told Luke about this, hadn't told anyone. Until this point Luke had sort of guessed the unrequited history there. Assumes everyone on the team probably knew as well, with what they do. "I didn't mean to call out for him. I thought someone was trying to hold me down." "Oh, Spencer." "It's hard to feel safe sometimes, not that you don't help me feel safe, but it's not really up to anyone to protect me" "You don't have to explain yourself, I understand. I dream about people who I don't see much anymore, it's normal. It's okay." Then the words are tumbling out without Reid's permission "he uh, promised we'd keep in touch. And we did for a few months. The last time I actually saw him in person. After a decade of pining, like an idiot. I used to imagine him telling me that he loved me. He eventually did, actually. He told em he loved me,like a little brother." He chuckles wetly. And Luke stares at him his brow creased in concern and contemplation.

"Don't get me wrong it's amazing that he even feels? felt?? that way. But now I hear everything secondhand from Garcia. He even invited her to go visit with them, but not me, he only texts me about the weather and some pictures of his son. I was always afraid that without the job there wouldn't be a connection with everyone on the team. If it all dissolved tomorrow, I'm so scared I would never hear from any of them again. and i guaranteed it by telling him I love him. He couldn't even say it back platonically for a year afterwards. Hinted at it but couldn't even say it. Until it was his last gift goodbye. I think I ruined any chances at being as close as we were. I think I ruined everything, and I'm ruining everything with you. I'm making you uncomfortable, oh Luke I'm. so. oh my I'm so sorry-" "You're not! You haven't ruined anything! But you're spiraling take some breaths with me okay?" They breathe and count and when Reid's breath sounds less strangled Luke holds his hand to Reid's face and says "I get it, been there. Been rejected, I mean. Had the falling out. It's hard, and it hurts. But Derek does love you, and you have that and that's special. But when people have children they do sort of drift away from people. It's a part of life, unfortunately. You might always crave that closeness you once had, but sometimes its just never going to be the same." "I know that. I've lived through rejections and distance. I just miss him. I adore you, Luke, I really do! But I think I'll always miss him."

what did i do to be fed so well these days 🥹 started reading and was gnawing at the bars at my enclosure because unrequited really is my jam.

Then ouh ouu oh okay this one hurts. Ow it hurts deeply actually

« Assumes everyone on the team probably knew as well, with what they do » hdfsfs please hasn’t he endured enough!

"It's hard to feel safe sometimes, not that you don't help me feel safe, but it's not really up to anyone to protect me" Spencer please,😭 It’s not an either/or situation, tell him Luke! You can associate more than one person with safety, especially after knowing them for so long 😢

« If it all dissolved tomorrow, I'm so scared I would never hear from any of them again. and i guaranteed it by telling him I love him » His worst fear and he is the one who made it happen. He unintentionally walked them into it omg. Because he loved him. It makes things so much worse for me when there wasn’t even a fallout, there wasn’t a ‘Fuck you in particular I don’t wanna see you ever’. which would at the very least provide some sense of catharsis. Maybe because he doesn’t wanna give false hope? Derek is just distancing himself until this is all that’s left, and Spencer is gonna be stuck there.

Fuck I miss him too 😭