lilyfaewood

[lilyfaewood]

This is part of an ongoing series about dysphoria. Check out the rest here: Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Part 4.

Patreon, Webtoons, Tapas, Discord Server.

I wrote and thumbnailed all the parts of this series (save the very first regarding pregnancy) after one of the most difficult conversations of my life. A loved one who I had expected to support me told me that my trans identity was the source of a lot of pain, and that they were taking time and space to decide if they wanted me to be a part of their life. They said they'd be thinking of starting a family soon, and they didn't know if they wanted me involved in it.

It was hard. It's hard not knowing. And it's hard reaching out for love and being met with closed arms.

I've been so glad that people seem to really like the Dysphoria Demon as a character. In the end, there was always a 'redemption' of sorts planned for it. Because the Dysphoria Demon is a lot of things. It's intrusive thoughts, a negative self-criticism, internalized misogyny, and transmisogyny. It's transphobia and anxiety wrapped up in one.

But I don't think of it as a villain. Or even a monster. It just is. It's a piece of a person who doesn't understand that it's causing pain. It's behaving in the way that it was taught to behave, and with a lot of gentle time and self compassion, it can change. It's never too late.

I'm fortunate now that I don't experience a lot of dysphoria. And I'm fortunate that I've managed, with the help of a few therapists, a lot of reading, and a lot of work, to successfully overwrite a lot of those negative thoughts. It took time. Years, in fact. But those patterns can be overwritten. Not perfectly, there will always be bad days. But the goal isn't to make it all go away. It's to lessen it. It's that a bad day today is better than a bad day a year ago, and the severity of those feelings is more manageable. This is the basis of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you perverts). And the Dysphoria Demon has always been me trying to share what I've learned about self-love with others.

Being Trans is beautiful. Don't let your mind turn it against you. You are worthy of love.

[lilyfaewood]

Thank you for cake n.n lemon raspberry is my favorite~!

Today is my 31st birthday~ n.n

Keeping it pretty low key just having some good food and chilling but tbh that sounds so perfect. Happy to be living my authentic and happy self n.n

[lilyfaewood]

Today is my 31st birthday~ n.n

Keeping it pretty low key just having some good food and chilling but tbh that sounds so perfect. Happy to be living my authentic and happy self n.n

[lilyfaewood]

Thank you Kaylaaaaaa~

All the love and hope you are doing well~ n.n

Happy birthday to a certain Lily I was told (:

have a happy one @lilyfaewood

[lilyfaewood]

Thank you to you too, Alex n.n sure to be a good one!

Happy birthday to a certain Lily I was told (:

have a happy one @lilyfaewood

[lilyfaewood]

Thank you, Alice! It means a lot to me, really n.n

Happy birthday to a certain Lily I was told (:

have a happy one @lilyfaewood

[lilyfaewood]

A Tiger at Prom

One year ago, trans prom inspired me to dig out my old tablet and give being an artist an honest try. I've learned much since then, about both digital art and about myself. Here's to another year of art, and here's to the trans artist community!

Special thanks to @zaigg for starting transprom!

[lilyfaewood]

Been finalizing my 2.0 design for my water genasi, Kallan. I think this pretty damn close to the final design and I'm really really happy with it~!

[lilyfaewood]

Been finalizing my 2.0 design for my water genasi, Kallan. I think this pretty damn close to the final design and I'm really really happy with it~!

[lilyfaewood]

Birthdays

Can't lie I low key gave up part way through this and threw some stuff together in two panels (panel five might be my worst panel yet).

Anyway yeah birthdays, I feel like they can be a rather touchy subject among trans folk. I haven't really felt excited for mine in a long time, not really since I learned I was some kind of queer. It's always just been something I've been forced to "enjoy", or at least act like I do.

[lilyfaewood]

TRANS PROM ft. ASTR & BEEF

most of the tgirlies are too socially anxious to get out there and boogie. someone needs to DAZZLE the crowd an its gonna be ME and @me-beef

[lilyfaewood]

I aspire to be a bigger problem for my demons than my demons ever are for me.

This is part of an ongoing series about Dysphoria!

Part 1. Part 2.

Part 3.

Discord Server, Patreon, Webtoons, Tapas.

[lilyfaewood]

Transprom is back baybee!!

Alot can change in a year. Last year, I was uncertain about whether to join in or not, whereas this year, we're bringing 8 people lol.

Most of the distinct peeps in our system are here!

Everybody from the top down:

Eclipse.

Stella.

Cinnabar.

Amber.

Sophi and Jocelyn.

Soren.

Jess.

Thank you @zaigg for starting this out, it's been a lot of fun!

[lilyfaewood]

Did a bit of a redraw of this screen cap from Pride and Prejudice to work on side profiles and defined lips featuring Essie and Topaz. Think it turned out decently well! Definitely good practice.

[lilyfaewood]

Did a bit of a redraw of this screen cap from Pride and Prejudice to work on side profiles and defined lips featuring Essie and Topaz. Think it turned out decently well! Definitely good practice.

[lilyfaewood]

There Were Signs! 21 (¡Había Señales! 21) ft. My Boyfriend and his commentary on my appearance. So many people started asking me if I was gay in that last year before I started transitioning.

[lilyfaewood]

Woah! - just a quick and rough comic today as i'm still feeling a little under the weather! ^^ plus sometimes it's just fun to bash out a comic without worrying about how "perfect" it looks!