lilyoftheriverr - Tumblr blog

lilyoftheriverr · 23 days ago

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I need the second part more than I need oxygen

(Jokes aside,take your time sweet. Don't overwork yourself and take care)

Things I Never Said pt.1

shanks x fem!reader (+ platonic luffy x fem!reader)

after years of running from a love too painful to face, you’re forced to confront everything you tried to bury when you meet your old little friend, luffy

words count: 3.6k

a/n: I already imagined you all asking for a part 2, so I beat you to it and already prepared it!

tags: angst, past love, reunion, bittersweet

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

You’ve lived on this island for a year now. It’s small, quiet, peaceful, nothing like the wild sea you used to know. You still sail sometimes. You still fight when needed. You haven’t given up the pirate life completely.

But you take it slower now.

It’s not the same, being alone.

You sit by the edge of the market, half-watching the sea, when you see him.

A boy with a red vest. A straw hat. A smile big enough to split the sky.

Your heart jumps before your brain catches up.

“That’s him,” you whisper “That’s Luffy.”

He’s walking through the crowd like it’s not even there, grinning at fruit stalls, laughing at a dog. You stand up fast, knocking over a crate behind you. Someone curses. You don’t even look back.

You move fast. Years haven’t slowed your legs.

You cut around the street and slip behind him just before he turns the corner.

And then you do it.

You snatch the hat clean off his head.

“HEY!!!” he shouts, spinning around “WHO THE HELL—”

He stops.

The rest of his crew is on alert instantly... blades out, feet planted, ready to fight.

You smile, holding the hat between two fingers “Still not fast enough, Captain.”

Luffy blinks. His jaw drops “Wait… no way. YOU?!”

You nod “Hey, Monkey D.”

“Y/N!!!” His face lights up like a bonfire. He throws himself forward, full hug, no hesitation “You’re alive!”

“I am” you say softly, still holding the hat.

The others glance at each other, confused but now more relaxed, slowly putting their weapons away.

“You’re here! On this island?! What?! Why didn’t you say anything?! How long—wait.” His eyes land on the hat in your hands “You okay?”

You freeze.

The straw hat is warm from his head. But to you, it’s not just his. It was someone else’s before him. And back then, you touched it with the same fingers.

You run your thumb along the brim. It almost hurts.

“I remember when he gave this to you” you say quietly.

Luffy goes quiet, face suddenly serious “You mean Shanks.”

“Yeah.”

You hand the hat back. You don’t want to hold it anymore.

He takes it carefully, like it’s more than just cloth and string.

“Hey, Luffy? Care to introduce this beauty to the rest of us?” Sanji steps forward, ever the charmer, taking your hand to kiss it with a wink.

You raise an eyebrow but let him do it. Luffy snaps back to reality.

“Oh right!” He turns to the crew, like he just remembered they were there “This is Y/N! She’s Shanks’ wife!”

Everyone gasps, even you.

You stare at him, stunned for a second, then bonk your hand against his head.

“You’re still an idiot!”

“Ow! What?!”

“I’m not Shanks’ wife. I never was…”

“Wait—you weren’t?? But I remember he used to tell everyone you were his wife!”

You look away for a second “He was just… exaggerating. As always.”

“Alright!” Luffy announces with arms wide “Since you’re already amazing, it’s time to meet my amazing crew!”

You fold your arms, amused.

“This is Zoro—he’s scary but he’s cool. That’s Nami—she’ll punch me but she’s nice. Usopp—he’s awesome and brave and lies sometimes but it’s funny. Sanji—he cooks and falls in love every five minutes. Robin—she reads weird stuff. Franky—he’s SUPER. Brook—he’s a skeleton and musician. And Jinbe—he’s a fish-man and also very cool.”

You give them a long, slow look.

“I already know all of you.”

The crew looks surprised.

“You do?” Nami asks.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smirk “You lot are famous. Bounties, newspaper stories, chaos in every corner of the sea? You’re hard to miss.”

Then, your eyes settle on Usopp.

You stare just a second too long.

Luffy notices “What? You looking at Usopp? Why?”

You speak softly, but the words come sharp “You really look like your father.”

Usopp straightens, blinking “Huh?”

You pause. Then add, “But I’m sorry. I hate him a lot, actually.”

Silence falls.

Usopp’s mouth opens just a little but he doesn’t ask anything. He just nods once and looks away.

You don’t explain. You won’t.

Meanwhile, Sanji’s hand flutters over his chest like he’s been shot.

“She stares at the long-nose and hates his father, but not one look for me… life is cruel…”

Nami sighs “Ignore him. He’ll cry into a tomato later.”

You smile again, but it’s smaller now.

“Come on,” you say, turning “I’m taking you to eat.”

Luffy lights up “FOOD?!”

The walk through town is full of noise, mostly from Luffy and Brook, who’s trying to make a pun about every vegetable they pass. You wave at shopkeepers, people smile at you like you belong here.

You lead them to a small, warm place nestled between two shops. The scent of grilled fish and rice floats out from the doorway. No sign, but the smell says home.

As you open the door, the owner grins “Y/N! You brought chaos with you, huh?”

“Something like that” you say, stepping in.

Luffy’s already trying to climb onto a table.

“Before you eat the whole island—listen up!” you shout.

Luffy freezes mid-motion.

“You’re all welcome here,” you say, “but sadly—I’m not offering.”

Luffy gasps, dramatic “WHY?!”

You raise a brow “Because I know how much you eat. I’m not trying to go broke today.”

The crew laughs as they sit down. Nami gives you an approving nod.

“I like her” she says.

Sanji is still sulking dramatically “If only I were the long-nose…”

You glance across the table at Luffy “You’ve got a good crew.”

“The best” he says with a mouthful of meat already.

You sit across from him, watching the way they all move around each other, fighting, teasing, laughing. It’s loud. It’s messy. But it’s family.

Zoro leans back with a drink “So… how close were you and Shanks, really?”

You glance away “Close enough to know the smell of his coat. The way he laughed when he was lying. The way he always looked out at the sea… like something was missing.”

Robin watches you carefully “Sounds like you loved him.”

You don’t answer.

Luffy swallows and says, quiet for once, “He still talks about you when we meet.”

Your heart skips.

“What?”

“Just little things. Like if he messes something up, he goes, ‘Y/N would’ve kicked my ass for that’. Stuff like that.”

You look down at your glass.

“…That idiot.”

“You miss him?” Luffy asks.

You give him a sad smile “Every single day.”

Plates are emptying. The sun outside begins to lean lower. Warm golden light spills in through the windows. The restaurant is loud with laughter and forks clinking, until Luffy suddenly leans across the table and says:

“Wait. You and Shanks actually ACTUALLY broke up?”

You blink “You… didn’t know?”

He shakes his head fast “No! He told me you were just gone for a while. Said you had ‘family matters’ or something. He made it sound like you’d come back anytime.”

You laugh soft and sad “That’s not true, Luffy.”

Luffy frowns “So he lied?”

You nod slowly “Yeah. We broke up. Years ago.”

The table goes quiet for just a breath.

Then Nami leans forward.

Robin tilts her head.

Sanji is already gripping the edge of the table like he’s waiting for a juicy romance novel.

Zoro sighs “Here we go.”

“So… You and Shanks?” Nami says “As in, Red-Haired Shanks?”

“Mhm” you hum.

Robin smiles “So… what was he like? In love?”

You take a sip from your drink and lean back.

“Oh, he was terrible at it at first.”

“WHAT?!” Chopper yells “How?! He’s so cool!”

You laugh “Exactly. That was the problem. He thought being cool was enough. He’d lean against things, do the half-smile, act mysterious… it was all nonsense.”

Usopp grins “So what worked?”

“Once he got out of his own way,” you say “He started laughing more. Talking like himself. I think the moment I fell in love with him for real was when he burned rice and tried to convince me it was a ‘special smoky flavor from the West Blue.’ He was holding the pot with tongs.”

Nami covers his heart “That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”

Zoro makes a face “You’re easily impressed.”

“I have standards!” she snaps.

Robin’s eyes glitter “Did he write you letters?”

“He tried,” you smirk “But his handwriting was awful. He’d start strong, like ‘To the fiercest flame on my ship’, and by the end it was mostly wine stains and something about missing my shoulder.”

Brook raises a hand “Yohohoho! Did he sing to you?”

“Yes,” you say, smiling fully now “All the time. Badly. He couldn’t carry a tune when he was drunk, but he insisted I dance with him anyway.”

Chopper giggles “Did he get jealous?”

You grin “One time a noble tried to kiss my hand. Shanks ‘accidentally’ dropped a whole barrel of grog on his foot.”

Luffy’s eyes are soft “See? He really was in love with you…”

You look down, hands resting in your lap “Yeah. He was.”

Silence again, soft this time. No one dares ask about the breakup. They’re smart enough to feel where the line is, even if they’re curious. But still, the questions keep coming.

You don’t realize how tightly you’re holding your glass until your knuckles ache.

Zoro watches you a little too closely, but says nothing.

Nami rests her chin on her hand “You were lucky, y’know. To be loved by someone like that.”

You smile gently “I know.”

But you don’t say the other half of it. That loving someone like that also means losing pieces of yourself when it ends... and it ended.

The crew slowly drifts back into lighter talk. But a weight still lingers, like the sea waiting outside.

You sit in it quietly, letting it rock in your chest like a ship in calm waters, grateful, still aching, always remembering.

The restaurant is warm and full of noise, clinking glasses, the buzz of the Straw Hats laughing, Sanji flirting with Nami and getting punched.

You step away from it.

Take your drink. Slip out of the main room, around the corner toward the kitchen where the air smells like herbs and steam.

The owner looks up “You alright?”

You nod with a tired smile “Just needed some air.”

She watches you, but doesn’t press.

You lean on the wooden counter, letting the wall hold your shoulder. The glass is cool in your hand, but your throat is too tight to swallow.

Footsteps behind you.

You don’t have to look to know who it is.

Luffy stops next to you, strangely quiet. No bounce in his step this time. No grin.

He stands there for a second, like he’s waiting for the words to form.

Then he sits on the crate beside you Why did you break up?”

You inhale sharply.

Straight to it. No dance.

Luffy keeps his eyes on the floor “Did he break your heart?”

The tears come fast.

You don’t even feel them build. They just happen, hot and sudden.

You turn your face away, but your voice still cracks when you whisper, “He did.”

Luffy looks up at you slowly.

“And I think I also broke his heart.”

Your hand covers your mouth like it might stop the sound. It doesn’t.

You breathe through your nose, fast and shaky, trying to pull it together. You wipe your cheek with your sleeve, then the other. It just keeps coming.

“It wasn’t about love,” you say hoarsely “We had so much love. That wasn’t the problem.”

You grip the glass tighter.

“It was the sea. The life. The way he always had something bigger waiting for him. Some war, some island, some dream… and I—” You laugh softly through your tears “I wasn’t big enough to be part of it.”

Luffy doesn’t interrupt. He just listens.

“He told me once that the sea calls him louder than anything else. Louder than sleep, louder than pain. Louder than me.” You look down “And I hated him for that. Even though I understood it.”

Luffy nods, slow.

“He never stopped loving you,” he says “Even when he talked about the sea. Even when he left.”

You smile faintly “I know.”

You close your eyes.

The tears slow. Your chest hurts. But somehow, it’s a little easier now that you’ve said it out loud.

Luffy nudges your arm “Wanna come back to the table?”

“In a bit.”

“Okay.” he says, standing up. Then adds, more quietly, “I’m glad you’re still alive.”

You look at him.

That same boy. That same hat.

And in a way, still carrying a part of Shanks.

“Me too...” you whisper.

He walks off, and for a moment, you’re left in the quiet with a full heart, and just a few tears left.

You return to the table a little later. Your face is calm again. Eyes dry. Shoulders lighter.

The crew’s already deep in a debate over whether Brook’s music counts as “live” if he’s technically dead.

“I’m telling you,” Zoro mutters, “it’s spooky.”

“It’s art!” Brook insists “My concerts slay! Yohohoho!”

“Don’t help your case.” Nami says, sipping her drink.

You slide into your seat “Miss me?”

Chopper lights up “You’re back!”

Luffy flashes a grin “Hey! Feeling better?”

You nod “Yeah. Thanks.”

No one says Shanks’ name again. They just scoot over and make space.

Robin tops off your drink. Franky pushes a plate of grilled shrimp your way. Brook offers you a bone (you politely decline).

Then Sanji clears his throat, and you feel the air shifts.

He steps up beside you like he’s on stage. A fresh rose seems to appear from nowhere in his fingers.

“Oh, enchantress of the island breeze…” he begins, dropping to one knee.

“God, no” Nami groans.

“…with eyes brighter than the Grand Line’s stars and a smile that could command the tides—”

“Get up” Zoro mutters.

Sanji doesn’t blink “I must ask… how is it that you’ve lived here a whole year without blessing my eyes before today?”

You raise a brow “It’s not like you’re always on this island.”

“Details,” he says, dead serious “Tell me, my sweet hurricane—have you ever considered falling in love again… possibly with someone who can make ten kinds of pasta and cry respectfully in your honor?”

You try not to laugh “Do you always lay it on this thick?”

Robin’s hiding a smile behind her hand “Only when he’s desperate.”

“I AM NOT—!” Sanji starts, then immediately shifts back to you with a twinkle in his eye “Only when moved by a beauty this profound.”

Luffy snorts soda through his nose “He means you’re hot!”

“Captain, please” Sanji hisses, red-faced.

You smirk “You know what? It’s nice being flirted with again.”

Sanji gasps like you just proposed.

But before he can say a word, Usopp cuts in “Don’t encourage him! You’re gonna break the poor guy.”

Chopper claps his hooves “He’s already crying!”

“I’m crying because I’m feeling things!” Sanji shouts, pressing the rose to his chest.

The whole table erupts.

Luffy’s doubled over laughing. Nami wipes a tear from her eye. Even Zoro cracks a grin.

And you laugh with them.

For the first time in a long time, it doesn’t feel like you’re carrying something heavy. It just feels like now.

Like you’re allowed to enjoy the present.

Like the sea might still have something for you, something warm, and real, and maybe even ridiculous.

You raise your glass.

“To chaos!” you say.

They all lift theirs.

“To pirates!” Luffy shouts.

“To not letting Sanji flirt in peace!” Usopp adds.

“To being alive!” Robin says, soft.

You drink and for the rest of the night, you don’t look back.

The door slams open.

Everyone flinches.

A man rushes in out of breath, eyes scanning fast until they land on you.

“Y/N!”

“Kale…” you say the name of the man in front of you.

Then as soon as you realise his pale face you’re already halfway out of your seat.

You know that look. That panic. That urgency.

You don’t even need to hear it.

But he says it anyway.

“They’re here. Docked just now. It’s the Red-Haired Pirates.”

The words drop like thunder.

You don’t freeze. You move.

You stand so fast your chair screeches backward.

Your legs know what to do before your heart catches up, grab your coat, check your pouch, feel for your knife.

Luffy rises too “Wait—what?”

You’re already walking toward the back exit.

“Y/N!” he calls after you “Where are you going?!”

You don’t turn around but his hand grabs your arm. You stop.

He’s looking at you, confused, eyebrows furrowed. His grip is gentle, but firm “Why are you leaving?”

You stare at him and then quietly, honestly, tiredly “Luffy… I change islands every time.”

He blinks “What?”

“Every time someone whispers he’s near. Every time one of his crew is spotted. Every time that damn flag shows up on the horizon.” You look around the restaurant once, then back at him “People know. Everyone in this town knows.”

You pause. Your voice lowers.

“That if Shanks comes… I go.”

The room is holding its breath. Even the crew has gone still, watching from the table.

“That’s the deal,” you say “That’s how I avoided him all these years.”

Luffy doesn’t say anything. He just watches your face.

“That’s how I survived all these years.”

You pull your arm gently from his grip.

“If he asks about me, they’ll pretend they don’t even know what a ‘Y/N’ is” you whisper, more to yourself than him “They always do.”

You turn back toward the exit.

Luffy doesn’t stop you again. But you feel his eyes following you. And you hate the silence that follows you out.

The back door clicks shut behind you.

Your boots hit the alley dirt hard as you move fast, eyes scanning for your escape route, anywhere quiet, hidden, away.

Inside, the restaurant is still frozen in place. Luffy hasn’t moved. The crew’s glancing between each other, between the door you vanished through and their captain’s tense face.

Then BANG.

The front doors slam open like the whole building belongs to him.

“LUFFY!!”

That voice.

That laugh.

That presence.

The room turns.

He’s already walking in with the swagger of a storm. Sun on his shoulders, wind still in his red hair, he's alone, and he’s smiling like this is the best day of his year.

“I heard rumours you were here,” he calls, waving off the stunned silence like it’s nothing “And since I was around, I said, why not?”

Luffy’s mouth twitches into a smile, small, tight, forced. The others don’t speak.

Shanks stops mid-step, frowning slightly.

He scans the table. His sharp eyes take in the untouched plates. The awkward silence. Zoro’s subtle hand on one sword hilt. Nami’s stiff posture. Robin’s too-calm expression.

Then back to Luffy.

“…you all look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He’s still smiling, but his voice is quieter now. Curious.

Suspicious.

No one answers.

Shanks narrows his eyes a little, not angry. Just reading the air. He’s always been good at that.

“Did I interrupt something?”

Luffy shifts his weight. Behind his back, his hands tighten into fists.

Sanji glances toward the back door.

Shanks follows the glance, subtle, sharp.

He sees it.

His smile fades slightly.

He steps forward once. Just one step.

“…was someone else here?”

Luffy opens his mouth.

He could lie. He wants to lie. But his eyes betray him.

And Shanks knows right away... You’re here. Or, at least, you were.

His gaze snaps toward the back. Just for a second.

Then back to Luffy.

“Was Y/N here?”

The question lands like lightning.

He turns to the owner of the restaurant, the older woman behind the counter. The one who always gave you extra bread when she thought you looked too tired.

“Was she in this town all this time?” he asks again.

Her hands tremble slightly as she wipes a cup dry.

She doesn’t meet his eyes “I don’t know who you’re talking about, sir.”

Too fast.

Too careful.

Too fake.

Shanks watches her for one heartbeat longer, then shifts.

His gaze slides to the man near the wall, the same one who ran to warn you, Kale.

“You?” Shanks asks, stepping closer “I saw you running in here. Seemed like something urgent.”

Kale swallows.

You can almost hear the script in his head. The one you made sure they all memorized.

He straightens.

“I don’t know what a Y/N is.”

Shanks stares at him. Not angry. Not smiling. Just quiet. Like a man putting pieces together.

“…Right, they all say like this every damn island.” he says.

Then he turns.

He walks slowly to the back door. Every bootstep echoing like a clock counting down.

Luffy stays silent. The crew doesn’t move.

Shanks opens the back door.

There’s no one there.

Just an empty alley. Breeze picking at the dust. Faint footsteps echoing from far away.

But he frowns. Something’s off.

He doesn’t step outside. He just stands there in the doorway. Eyes sweeping the edges. The corners. The crates. The narrow shadows.

You’re not far.

You didn’t have time.

You’re hiding.

He can feel it.

His voice is barely above a whisper now, but it carries.

“…I can feel you're still here.”

You hold your breath.

Tucked behind crates in the narrow alley, you press your back to the wall. It’s damp. Cold. You try to still every inch of yourself. You’ve done this before, more times than you want to admit.

But never this close.

Never with his voice that close.

“…I can feel you're still here.”

Your heart pounds so loud it feels like it’ll shake the wood beside you.

And then Clink.

Your boot... a tiny shift. Metal brushing against stone.

It echoes like a scream.

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