literallyanythingbutwhatitis

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

to a future me. 

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

“It’s not literal suicide

It’s social suicide”- Hippo Campus of their song “Suicide Saturday”.

This song will always hold a place in my heart. I remember when I first heard the song I was 15. It was 2015 and I was on vacation with my family. The song hit hard at first, why and how were they singing so casually about suicide? I was scared to sing it at first around my mother. As I grew, I learned. It took me a little while, but I discovered the importance of social suicide within that song. It’s important to step back from the chaotic culture around you and isolate yourself to find peace of mind. To practice self care. To love yourself. I know I didn’t for a long time, and that’s something to always work on. Now as a freshman at university, I find myself pulled in so many directions. School, parties, football games, homework, food, and friends, everything good and bad a lot. The second week of university I found myself breaking up with whom I thought was my best friend. “We will still be best friends” we told each other as we ended our romantic relationship. That lasted one week when I realized how awful it was for me. Outside of that relationship, I had no idea who I was. I’ve never felt so lost. I cried. A lot. I secummed to the parties and the fair weather friends that were plentiful on my campus. It was easy, but it was not good for me. Months later, I realized this, and now I believe I’m in the midst of a social suicide. It is good for me. I have two friends on campus in which I love dearly and value how genuine and weird and loving they are. Sometimes I say I wish we would’ve met earlier, but I’m glad we didn’t. I’m glad they know me as me and not a figure shaped by society around her. I think social suicides are important to bring out yourself. In the end, who are you but yourself?

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

lol yes

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

something about this type of angle

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

Do you ever just,, finger your collar bones

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

Trauma survivors on tv: (beautifully broken, delivers tearful speech on their traumas, hug it out)

Me: (describes abusive event and laughs) BOY THAT SURE WAS FUCKED UP

[literallyanythingbutwhatitis]

ur gonna die anyway so get that fucking tattoo ur parents and friends hate and eat whatever u want