litrelatable

[litrelatable]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Onion (@theonion)

[litrelatable]

[litrelatable]

In Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio called Tybalt "Prince of Cats" because there was a book, popular at the time, with a cat prince named Tybalt in it. He was making a pop culture reference. Therefore, I move, that in a modern Romeo and Juliet retelling, Tybalt should be named Garfield.

[litrelatable]

tfw your father kills your married lover so you go ask his widow for forgiveness, but then your father kidnaps and kills said widow and her family except for (1) daughter and tells you he will release her to you if you’d give him a magic book

[litrelatable]

Cute things to call your partner:

love

sweet

bright angel

nyas

tercel-gentle

mansion

merchandise

the god of my idolatry

[litrelatable]

*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

[litrelatable]

the heroine of rebecca is so fucking funny because she will just go off on a tangent where she imagines what will happen if she does something and it will be three pages of her going into the most DETAILED FUCKING DAYDREAM you have ever heard, complete with subplots and dialogue, meanwhile in the real world she has not moved or said anything she's just sitting on the floor catastrophizing while everyone around her is carrying on as normal because they haven't noticed she hasn't contributed to the conversation for the last 10 minutes. the guy she likes will tell her to her face "i am hanging out with you because i like spending time with you, i am not playing games or being nice or speaking with any double meaning" and she's like "sounds fake." she starts a small fire in a hotel room while her fiancé and employer are in the NEXT ROOM talking about her because she's convinced she'll never live up to her man's ex and she wants to take her mind off it. her best friend is a dog. she tries to climb out a window to avoid meeting her in-laws. girl is mentally unwell! 10/10 anxiety representation.

[litrelatable]

nooo don't kill my cousin to avenge your friend you're so sexy aha

[litrelatable]

[litrelatable]

me watching one of shakespeare's plays: wow this is like.......really good. do people know about this. do they know that this shakespeare guy is good

[litrelatable]

1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane follow

It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...

🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg follow

the franklin expedition is dead as hell

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane follow

Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing less from a M*lville fan

10,558 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all

#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh

659 notes

🎨 asherbrowndurand

Just painted this

2 notes

ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927

RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed

🖼️ preraphaelitebro follow

HERITAGE POST

📝 shakespearesforehead follow

How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol

82,170 notes

🌄 loyalromantic follow

poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/

#as useless and degenerate as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect

6,884 notes

🎀 thefopdiaries follow

I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling

📜 bartlebi-thescrivener

i think i hauve consumption

112 notes

🐋 whaler4life

They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME

11 notes

🌿 naturesnaturalist follow

I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense

#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo

56 notes

🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament follow

🙈 butchbronte follow

Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist

📖 sapphichelenburns follow

It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. Anyway #rochestersweep

🙈 butchbronte follow

I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened

📖 sapphichelenburns follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily

8,027 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon

#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting

522 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH

#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....

2,309 notes

⭐️ newamerican

Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol

#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure

0 notes

[litrelatable]

ships where one of them dies, one of them leaves the other for someone else because it is best for both of them, they never define their relationship and are both haunted by the unanswered questions, one of them marries someone else and then dies and the other one can’t live without them and destroys their family and digs up their remains > happy endings

[litrelatable]

[litrelatable]

Anyone who has been personally victimized by Hamlet, please raise your hand...

[litrelatable]

My Star Wars brain reading Hamlet:

[litrelatable]

Men would rather marry the poor companion of an obnoxious American socialite and take her back to his manor estate haunted by memories of his ex-wife than go to therapy

[litrelatable]

"I could fix him" I could eat his heart in the market-place