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Another Bakarina Portrait

(testing a new watercolor pad again owo)

I really should have used a ruler or folded an A4 paper in half crosswise because this ended up not being as centered as I would have liked, also I always make her side bangs too big :c

Alt versions (cuz of scanner stuff):

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Dokutah inside Daddy Goodenough

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Cutie in a Pot Pie (oil pastell)

I used that tumblr post with that guy dressed as a potted plant

Will write a fic based on this

Alt. ver.:

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Another Skadance Portrait (WIP)

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Not the biggest fan of this piece but I wanted to post it anyway~

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🥺The puppy's watching you.

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Immortal!reader who really thought she could love Gaz when she met him in the late 80s.

He was much older, 60s, and he was surprised that someone so “young” would love him. His short fade was salt and pepper, he was much less muscular than you’d known him to be, high cheekbones— still a dream in your eyes. And you and him fit together so perfectly, settling on the countryside, evening and morning walks, cooking breakfast together, movies together, fixing up the garden together. You’d created a peaceful and loving life the two of you. He still stole kisses from you when he thought you looked prettiest. In the morning, sunshine on your face. Glowing, long lashes fluttering. Something you dreamt of for centuries over.

It started with such a faint cough, you thought it was just a little cold. It was earlier raining that day, of course he’d be a little chilly. A cough was normal.

But over the next 3 months, which was the blink of an eye for you, Kyle’s body gave up on him. Even though he was so healthy, the doctors said it was just old age. Sometimes it happens and they can recover.

But Kyle grew so tired, so weary. And he was in pain all the time.

You remember the day he said he wanted to take a walk. And you did, arm and arm, without the walker, him leaning on you and not the other way around for once. You sat on the swing overlooking the garden next to your home, just as you always did. enjoying the stillness, the trees swaying, the summer breeze, stars forming in the sky one by one. And it’s so soft, yet so for certain, it’s not a question.

“We- we watched the stars together once, didn’t we? You told me that the moon was pretty but all I could look at was you.”

And your head almost snaps off when you turn to look at him, his eyes towards the moon. Your heart swelled and fell out onto the floor. Tears danced with your waterline. Remembering glimpses of his past life at a time like now. God loved to play with your emotions.

“Yeah Kyle we did. We did all the time.”

He hums, smile widening and eyes closing. “I hope we get to do it more often now that we’re together… than we did back then.”

You swallowed your sob, “O-of course sweetheart.”

Kyle died with your head on his chest. Hearing his last shallow breaths of life while he caressed your cheek.

a/n: just a little Drabble from of this post.

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Catarina Claes and Low Self-Esteem - A Ramble

Here's a draft I was saving for after I wrote my Plurality of Catarina Claes post, but I haven't done that and don't feel like it, so I'm posting this anyway...

I was thinking about Catarina while scrolling through the Crunchyroll comments describing her as denser than a black hole, which while funny the first time, and the second, starts to wear on you by the hundredth.

I mean, I get a community having running jokes, but I'm talking literally every episode has at least one person saying this, and sometimes multiple.

The thing about these comments is... they're not wrong. Catarina can be really dense and oblivious. It's one of her defining character traits. Everyone knows it...

But... I think there's more to it than this where it concerns her love interests.

Catarina, in my opinion, doesn't recognize that people love her because she sees herself as unlovable.

Putting Ourselves In Catarina's Shoes

Imagine for a moment that you've always been the strange girl at school.

You have one close friend. You've never had a romantic partner. You're a disappointment to your parents who see you as just some lazy girl. And then, at 17, you die completely unaccomplished. A failure.

You get a new life though. You're reborn with no memory of who you used to be.

And the person you are now... is a brat. A spoiled rich brat who hurts everyone around her. Then you get hit on the head and have memories from your last life flood your brain.

Now there are two very different lives in your head, but there are common themes in them.

In both, you have a mom who puts you down at every turn. In both, you haven't really known love before.

And on top of all of that, you realize that your new life is as a villain. A rival who is supposed to compete with the heroine for a man who doesn't love her. Someone who only agreed to be engaged with her to avoid other offers.

This is your destiny.

And it confirms everything terrible your parents told you about who you are across two lives.

By the time she enrolls in the magic academy, she's had over 30 years to internalize her sense of worthlessness, and nearly a decade to internalize her destiny as a villain who exists only to be a rival in someone else's story.

Catarina Isn't Just Oblivious. She's In Denial.

She's built an entire self-concept around being the unlovable villainess that she literally cannot fathom anyone having genuine romantic feelings for her.

Even while she loves her friends (platonically), she's still convinced through the series that they're going to kill or exile her in the end.

No matter how many times people drop hints or even outright tell Catarina they love her, she can't accept that.

All in all, I feel dismissing Catarina's obliviousness as her just being dense (which again, she is) does a disservice to the character.

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They never bothered Soap again.

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König is Not Nice, but Not Because He's Mean

See, König is just a bit... Awkward. The poor man has social anxiety, not generalized anxiety. Why is this important to know? Because König is really out here trying his best. He is! It just doesn't look like it.

Let me explain.

König is a human battering ram. He can handle a gun going off beside his head and the worst this man will do is blink. He can deal with a sergeant barking in his face. This man will not worry about tomorrow, he will not worry about what that one idiot at work thinks, he does not care if someone touches his stuff without asking (but that is rude so don't do it!).

No, König fears other people. Now, he's not afraid of getting hurt. This man has been banned from 10 different haunted houses because he keeps punching people when he gets scared and people keep taking him to new ones and he can't tell them no. He's not afraid of hurting other people (this man is a killing machine) and he does not care about cancelling plans or making people uncomfortable. He is not scared of other people at all. No, what König fears is what people think of him.

See, König has what we call in the social anxiety world a self-fulfilling prophecy death spiral. He's been like this since he was a kid. To this day he has not broken the cycle.

König is the man who will silently glare at you when you ask him how his day is. He is the man who will pretend he didn't hear you when you asked where the stapler is. He is the man who will pack up his things and leave the room when you enter. He's not trying to be rude, he's just scared of you thinking that he's rude. It's a beautiful cycle, isn't it? Now, what exactly is the cycle that I'm talking about?

The Cycle, in a numbered list for reading clarity:

I need to talk to person

Oh no, what if they don't like me? What if they think I'm a freak? What if they think I'm rude and mean and awful and-

No, I won't let that happen.

I can't let them know I'm freaking out. If I say something, they'll see how nervous I am. I cannot let them know how nervous I am. I AM A MAN.

How will I not appear anxious? I will not talk. I will not interact. I will be silent. Yes, that will make things better.

Why are they looking at me weird? Did I say something wrong? But I only said one word!

I will not dare say another word or else they'll get more upset.

Oh no they're looking more upset.

Why do they look more upset?

Oh no it's all getting worse-

Like, I'm sorry, but this man is a social wreck. But he's not a blushing, stammering cutesy mess. No, he's a grown soldier, and he is anxious. He falls into the horrible trap that so many socially anxious people do where they think 'the less I say the better', and then the people they're trying to talk to (or worse, the people trying to talk to them) think they're weird or rude or stupid or the list goes on.

To further elaborate, let me paint a final picture of this in HD quality:

König goes to a new restaurant

König needs the bathroom

Hol' up. Where's the bathroom.

Will not ask for help, even if he's in a group because he Is A Man and he Does Not Need Help and Please Don't Look At Me Like That You're Scaring Me

Decides to scope out restaurant as sneakily as a 6'10 man can

Eventually, a waiter comes up and asks if he needs help

He instead turns to a blank wall and says

"I am looking at the decorations. I am fine." He is not fine.

Eventually, the war between the mind and body is lost as he really needs to use the bathroom oh my God this is awful why are there no signs anywhere in this godforsaken place?

Decides he Needs Help

Goes to a waiter who looks like they're not too busy and will try to shrink down a bit to not intimidate them

They turn and stumble back as they see a massive masked man looming over them. They are probably fearing that they're about to deal with an armed robbery when this man barks out

"Bathroom. Where is it."

They point up at a sign overhead.

It's right there. He's been outside the bathroom this whole time.

Does not apologize, just leaves as quickly as he came.

Internally cries the entire time

König is not an anxious man in the cute way. He's anxious in the 'I look like an asshole but please give me a chance' sort of way. He really is nice! He'll love hearing about your day and he'll help you whenever you can. He'll help you with whatever you need as long as you don't ask him to order for you. Please give him a chance, he's not that bad.

It will take a while for König to relax. Once he does, he's actually quite eloquent and makes for an excellent conversationalist! He's just a bit frosty at first (and again, because he is crying inside, not because he dislikes you). I assure you he'll make a good boyfriend if you just keep trying. It might take a month of forcing him to share space with you and you keep carrying conversations that weighs about as much as an obese rhinoceros, it'll pay off.

If you want some help, ask him about history or guns. He'll get very excited and might not shut up.

I do take requests for König fanfiction or prompts. I also take requests for König fan art. Just drop a message in my inbox and I'll make it for you.

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♡ Reno Ibaraki (PARQUET) - AliceGlint

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Jack-O’ Valentine 1/7 Scale by Aquamarine, from Guilty Gear